Three
by Sovietkitty
Summary: 2:22 PM. Miho and her Tankery club are evacuated to Vault 49 as three nuclear bombs are dropped on Tokyo, Kitakyushu and Niigata. After spending three months here, driven by a mad desire she had since the first day, she escapes the vault and runs across a devastated Japan to find her sister and Alice Shimada. Will she survive in the radioactive wasteland and find her loved ones ?
1. Prologue

**Author's note :  
Hello again ! It's been a pretty long time since I've written about GuP. Well, I didn't have time to do so, my inspiration was killed by school, stress and brain exhaustion, but I'm on holidays now, so I'm in a better shape. I've watched the (damn awesome) movie. This helped me a lot, and I discovered in myself a true love for the Fallout series. Sovietkitty + Game she loves + GuP = Crossover fanfic ! Yay !  
I'm glad to be back here. I should continue Depths as well. I started writing Chapter 2 until I ran out of ideas. But I wanna finish it no matter what. Girls und Portals was hard to write as well, so I might take a VEEEEEEEEERY long time to finish them all.**

 **Anyway, enjoy~!  
**

 **WARNING : Some chapters of this fic may be rated M due to : violence, sexual themes, murder and graphic wounds.  
**

* * *

 _"War..._

 _War never changes..._

 _All of them... Nuclear dangers... At one moment or the other, they can tear off our lives in a split second. It only needs a dropping... the flight of the bomb... until its painful landing creating an apocalyptic detonation, a roar, a shockwave, such a powerful blast that it destroys everything it touches._

 _We are in the 21st century... and nuclear power has become widespread. Hostilities are growing only stronger, and everything seems to speed up._

 _Like nearly 75 years ago... the noose tightens, and the world prepares itself to a total war..._

 _And even us, who are practicing Tankery, this art coming from years of barbaric and fierce fighting, we can only remember one thing..._

 _War never changes."_

* * *

 **PART 0 : WAR NEVER CHANGES**

* * *

Miho went out of the Pz. IV. This was such a beautiful, sunny spring Wednesday. The training was, as usual, successful. After effort comes comfort : they were under a wonderful beech tree. Its leaves, green as the land, with shimmering, golden reflections, let the sunlight pass through, drawing various-shaped light spots on the tank's metallic armour.

The others didn't take much time to follow. Saori, Mako, Hana and Yukari. Each sat on a side of the tank. They simply enjoyed the soft, gentle breeze that was blowing in their hair. Mako was as sleepy as usual : lazy, she let herself daze off under the heat that emanated from the light reflecting on the grey paint. Mako was so cute when she was sleeping. Her small and thin body was laying down on the armour and wasn't going to move an inch. Miho smiled. What a wonderful team she was with her friends. Finally, she didn't regret moving to Oarai, even if at first she wanted at all costs to avoid the sport that made her as happy as before the terrible accident that almost costed Koume Akaboshi and all her team's life when their tank sunk into the deep, black waters, under a drenching rainstorm, making Kuromorimine lose the tournament because of the Nishizumi's heroic act. Everything seemed better now that she met these four girls with whom she wanted to spend all her life.

Yukari lifted her gaze and looked at the clouds through the beech's leaves. With her brain obsessed with the same topic, she thought she saw the shape of a Jagdtiger in the sky. Enthusiastic and excited, she started laughing loudly.

"What's up ?" Hana asked, smiling.

"Nothing. Just saw a well-drawn Jagdtiger in a cloud", the vivacious Yukari replied, not taking her eyes off the shape.

"You're getting worse", Mako mumbled.

"Oh, please, be a little more lively !" Saori told her while laying down, facing her. "You're always sleepin' ! You're going to get into a coma one day !"

"Don't care", Mako let out. "At least, I'll be resting all my life."

"You're funny", Miho said. "We should call you the Sleeping Beauty. You're sometimes like her."

"The Sleeper ! Just this", the ginger replied. "You could get the Biggest Sleeper Award."

"Stop it", Mako whispered.

"She's pretty and could sleep for hundred years", Hana said in her usual soft tone. "The Sleeping Beauty would fit more."

"Oh, seriously, stop that", Mako grumbled.

"We're just teasin' you!", Saori laughed.

Miho cherished these moments with her group of friends. They were everything, absolutely everything to her. She was feeling differently for them than she was for her sister, but was still loving them the same. She never knew how to really hate someone since she joined Oarai. Even Erika Itsumi, who behaved very badly towards her, could have a place in her heart. She loved everyone in her tankery club, even if she didn't have much in common with some of them.

They stayed for some more time under the beech tree, and then they headed towards the ship. It was logically meant to leave soon to go to Yokohama to encounter once again, as each year. They were still waiting for the signal of the departure : it hadn't come. They waited for it since three days, a lot longer than usual. Sometimes, they talked to their tankery opponents while waiting. They were always nice to them. What amazed Miho was to see all the differences between the people they were confronting. It was far from Anzio's lively spirit or Chihatan's go-ahead type. It was a refined school, even if it wasn't like Selection University, from where was Alice Shimada. They had got closer and kept on touch. Their passion for Boko could only make them even closer. Alice had taken a long time to open up : as a very shy girl, she was trusting Miho, but she still had difficulty to open up at times. But often, they used Skype to communicate.  
Alice was part of these people Miho had a different bond with. Not like her friends from Oarai or Maho, no. Not love, not sisterhood, something deeper. A profound connection, like soulmates. She was often thinking about her, wanting to approach her even more. She loved a lot the girl who was technically her rival. But these things weren't meaning anything to Miho, who cared more than anything about her relationships and the unity of her club. Knowing that everyone around her was feeling good filled her with happiness. Plus, knowing that Oarai was finally saved had finished gladdening her. She felt acomplished. No more obstacle could scare her, nothing could get in her way now !

Her phone vibrated. Alice. She quickly replied to her message, then came back to what she was doing. She was one of the last people she called : the others were Maho, and Yukari who needed advice on something. Although all the girls from tankery club had her number, they rarely contacted her : Aya texted her only once, and Nakajima told her once in a while about the Pz. IV's maintenance. Miho preferred real interaction to texts or calls.

They were walking in the streets as something caught their attention.

Barriers and arrow signs seemed to indicate a direction. Miho knew a place that was in the path shown. It was Vault 49.  
It was build some years ago and no one particularly brought it up in conversations. It's wasn't noticeable : carved into the rock, going deep under the land, it remained unoccupied, but seemed to be kept : the staff came and went sometimes. There wasn't any visible door : only some sort of large, circular elevator, a huge platform that would certainly go down if there was a danger. Miho wondered what was inside. Would there be enough space to put all the inhabitants here ? There were seven or eight vaults in the prefecture, as far as she knew. One in Oarai, another near Tsukuba, a third not far from Kitaibaraki and two in Mito. Maybe three. She didn't remember and didn't know where could be the other vaults either. She thought however than not everyone could be saved by going in only eight vaults. In case it was the end of the world, there would certainly be an horrible amount of dead people, and some lucky ones would survive.

She went to one of the cops who seemed to wait by the path drawn by the barriers.

"Sir, why are you indicating the vault's direction ?"

"We are doing a simulation. Don't worry, miss. We just try to see where to place the barriers in case there would be nuclear attacks on Japan or China."

Miho still felt uneasy.

"But... If it's just a simulation, you're going to make everybody go into the vault ?"

"No, we just try to find out what is the best position for the barriers and the signs in case of atomic disaster."

"I see... Have a good day, sir."

Still not feeling good, she preferred to go and warn her friends, then did the same for all of the Tankery team. She ran to the school ship, where most of them were, and told them about what could be happening and what to do. She advised them to remain together and to move closer to the vault. She didn't like it. Maybe she was ending up as being paranoid because of all these apocalyptic stories that couldn't stop polluting the rumors, but she preferred to take caution. If she had to run to the vault, she could do it quickly. She wouldn't uselessly put herself and the rest of the club in danger.

Her phone vibrated again. Alice once again. But this time, Miho felt even more anxious.

 _"Head to the vault. Quick."_

Alice appeared panicked : she had made a few typos in her text, which indicated she typed hastily. Miho replied immediately.

 _"Why ? Don't tell me this is real..."_

The answer came almost instantly.

 _"Don't think. Get there. They're announcing bombing that are targeting Tokyo, Niigata and Kitakyushu. They bomb the spots they couldn't 70 years ago"_

Another text from her.

 _"Your life depends on it. Don't worry about me. I'm in front of Vault 54's door."_

Miho typed frantically on the screen of her cellphone.

 _"I'll continue to text you while I warn everyone."_

When she was about to head to where the others remained, an alarm started to be heard. A long, deep sound, that was saying a lot about what was going to happen in the near future.

"Residents from Oarai have to evacuate to vault 49 immediately", a voice said in a speaker, echoing in all streets.

This horrifying message resonated in all of her body. Miho started sweating, furiously trembling, overwhelmed by stress. Her friends started to head towards the vault.

Vibration. Alice sent her another text.

 _"Find me in Kumamoto. You have Maho and your mom here, and mine was traveling here. We'll find our families together."_

Miho replied.

 _"I'll find you there. Good luck."_

After having texted Alice for the last time, Miho checked if everyone was following and started running. Running for her life. Maybe she would be no more in some minutes. She and her team absolutely had to get to the vault before it was too late. Before this terrible bomb hits Tokyo's grounds, a hundred of kilometers far from Oarai. Everywhere, in Japan, there was probably a moving, panicked crowd. Some would maybe be trampled to death, in the chaos, in the din of the screams of the scared people, some wouldn't be accepted in the vault, like in the USA, place from where went the idea of the atomic bomb... and the fallout shelters. And in 1945, it was them who dropped two of them on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The one dropped on Tokyo was going to be the third. THREE. Miho could already do the three sign with her fingers to refer to this horrible thing.

She rushed to the elevator. She got surprised to see that the other girls, the ones who weren't practicing Tankery, weren't there. What she found weird was that they didn't obey. Why was the Tankery club the only one here ? Was there another vault under the school ? What was happening ? She tried not to panic. Everyone was speaking around her. Everyone. Absolutely everyone, deeply afraid, was asking questions here and here, without having any answer for the others who asked even more and more, more questions, more, more questions !

Hippo team was restless. Oryou looked worried. Saemonza was arguing with Caesar and Erwin wasn't looking reassured either. Mallard team kept their calm. If Sodoko remained disciplined and wasn't being scared, Pazomi and Gomoyo, even if they were terrified, could do the same.  
On their side, Duck team were reuniting for the last time. Akebi was tremendously crying. Noriko wasn't stopping to tell her not to feel sorry about herself, Shinobu was unsure how to react and Taeko tried to comfort her without letting herself be overwhelmed by nervousness.  
The Rabbit team, however, talked loudly, almost screaming. Only Saki, silent as usual, seemed to wait for death to come. Azusa tried to calm them down for avoiding panic.  
Leopon team had a saddened look and they were barely heard talking.  
And for Anteater team, they were giving glances to each other.  
Only the Turtle team was missing. Where were the Student Council girls ? What were they doing ? Had they remained inside like the others ?

"Nishizumi-dono... I love you, with all my heart", Yukari whispered, hopeless.

"Miporin, what's happening?!" Saori cried in fear.

"Don't worry, we're going to be fine..." Miho reassured her, even with all this stress she was feeling.

"We're gonna die ! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" the ginger squealed while she was, like Akebi, crying uncontrollably.

Hana leaned towards her and took her in her arms in an attempt to calm her down. Mako wasn't reacting a lot, as if she somewhat gave up. She gave a sad glance to Saori, then went back into her thoughts. Miho decided to text her sister. This was maybe the last time she was actually communicating with her, after that.

 _"Onee-chan, I'm on the Vault 49 elevator. I'm safe. Are you okay ?"_

 _"Yes, I am. I want to find you as soon as possible."_

 _"I love you, sis. Good luck..."_

 _"I love you too. Hang in there."_

A tearing, deafening detonation, a terrifying deflagration, a titanic snap sounded behind her and was heard for miles around. A terrible, instant flash blinded everyone. The light changed in a split second. THREE!

When Miho turned back, shaken by the powerful explosion she just felt, she saw a gigantic burst of light rising. Another sun illuminated the entire sky, in orange tones, like the autumn glows. The cloud that was forming had vaguely the shape of a huge, blazing mushroom ascending to the heavens. It was going up to the skies, taking the direction of the Universe, while the ground started to move. The elevator was going down.  
A violent, swift dust wave seemed to approach faster and faster. The shockwave's blast. Miho prayed that they wouldn't be all blown-off : hopefully, at the last second, the elevator was low enough to save them. They heard the air moving above them in such violence that every single one of their sensed would remember it forever.

While they were going into the darkness that led them to the vault, everything was devastated by that apocalyptic blast just above their heads...

What would they do, now that the world they've known so far was no more ?


	2. Chapter 1

**Author's note : Hey hey hey ! I'm back with a chapter.  
I chose to put some lyrics that fit the chapter at the beginning of each one, and only doing this with 30's-60's music to make it fit to the ambiance of Fallout. I'll mainly put lyrics of songs that are actually heard on New Vegas Radio, Galaxy News Radio and Diamond City Radio, though.**

 **Enjoy your reading. ~**

* * *

 _"Though things may look very dark  
_ _Your dream is not in vain  
_ _For when do you find the rainbow?  
_ _Only after rain"_

\- Bob Crosby and The Bob Cats

* * *

 **PART 1 : VAULT 49**

* * *

When Miho saw a light through the elevator's grid, she knew they would all soon be safe. The colours had changed since that lightning had cut the sky forever. They recovered their normal vision.  
When they came down, they all got somewhat shocked. This was going to be their new home for a yet unknown time. Maybe a month. Maybe six. Maybe three years. Maybe... their whole lives? But they would become crazy if they were locked up for too long! No, it wasn't possible for them to stay here all their lives. Probably would they get out after the radiation would have fallen to sustainable levels. But how long would it take...? There wasn't any way to know.  
Miho had no clue of when she would be able to find Alice and Maho. Kumamoto wasn't two minutes away from here. She was going to face a major obstacle: the journey's length. 1000, or even 1200 kilometers separated Oarai and Kumamoto from each other. For how long would she be outside in the wasteland? A month? More? What could happen in a month? Absolutely anything could happen. An accidental poisoning, an illness, a wild animal attack, a malicious person, an injury, or simply anything could definitely put an end on her trip. Everything could randomly happen during her journey towards Kyushu. In addition, she had to cross Kanmon Straits: irradiated as it was by the Kitakyushu bomb that had certainly fallen at the moment, she wasn't going to risk her life by swimming across it. If she couldn't find a boat, she would try to make a raft. But when and where was she going to meet Alice? And what if she was already dead, or she was killed during the journey? So many questions agitating Miho's mind without however demotivating her. One day she would come out of the vault, she wanted it deep inside herself.

On the wall above, there was something painted on a brown background. _"Vault 49 - Welcome home."_ The shelter's staff was waiting at the open door. The students were asked to queue up. Miho heaved a sigh of relief when she saw that Anzu Kadotani, Momo Kawashima and Yuzu Koyama were there. However, something catched her attention: all three were wearing a strange blue and yellow suit. Why were they wearing that outfit, and why were they already in the vault? What had happened? The explosion was real, it wasn't a simulation as the soldiers tried to make her believe! What were they doing there? Did they know something before about the bombings? Was it the same in the other shelters?

When her turn came, Miho approached. This unusual jumpsuit was handed to her. She noticed that at the back, there was number 49 in yellow, firmly sewn on the cloth. All costumes shelter should be the same, only the number behind had to change. Alice would have the 54 and Maho would have the 80. This was going to feel strange when they were going to be reunited. After all is back to normal, if it happened one day, these suits would be nothing more than memories. Just after getting her new clothing, she was given a cardboard box. There was something in it, but she didn't unpack it now. Once everyone had their outfit and this strange box, they did the register. No one was missing.

Miho then understood why the Student Council was already here. The tankery club was told that Anzu would be their Overseer, and would be assisted by her two acolytes. It didn't change much from before, actually. But this time, the President had a lot of power... How would she manage the shelter's population ?

Then, the staff made them visit the entire structure. Miho discovered things she had never seen before. The doors opening in halves with a button, a strange, rounded, big floating robot with three arms that spoke very good Japanese, a larger than average kind of syringe and many other things. Everything was different from life outside the shelter and what they knew until now.

In the living quarters, they showed to everyone where were their rooms and how to lock them. Miho didn't share hers with her team, to her chagrin. But she could see them as much as she wanted. Finally, the vault was a small underground city, with the exception that it was tiny and confined. She wondered how she was going to get out of here. She would probably wait for a delivery or something. Or, the solution was to trigger a mutiny... But she didn't want to. She was thinking to herself : _"Be patient and prepare yourself a long time before, then run away from here!"_ Another problem arose. Would she take her friends with her? It wasn't a good idea. She didn't want to expose them to the dangers of radiation and to the hostile wasteland. She would rather die herself than put her friends in danger.

Miho sat on her bed, grabbed a pair of scissors that was on the small desk and cut the tape that was holding the box's flaps. A curious object and instructions were inside. She just had to put that thing around her wrist like a bracelet; that's what she did. She then pressed a button and turned it on. The screen emitted a green light. She learned, at the same time, that this odd device was a _"Pip-Boy"_. The instructions and a short tutorial, taught her how to use it. Everyone would have one around the arm now. She felt shivers going down her spine. It reminded her of the concentration camps. She hoped that these shelters weren't actually made for harming them in any way, use them for an experimentation or even kill them. It would be inhumane.

She heard a knock on her door. It was Yukari.

"Knock, knock, Nishizumi-dono!" she called.

"Yukarin, you're here!" Miho exclaimed with a smile. "I see that you understood how the Pip-Boy works too..."

"It's really nice stuff! I really like the idea, but I wonder if our tanks were saved from the explosion..."

Miho preferred not to answer. She wasn't sure of the resistance of their tanks and of the ship. She just hoped they hadn't been entirely destroyed. She had thought so much about the survival of the group that she had almost forgotten about the tanks.

"I can't tell you if they are intact" the commander murmured. "They are made of metal and we are relatively far from Tokyo, although the blast was very violent even here, I think they were protected, but I'd prefer not to guarantee you anything..."

"What is good is that our rooms are close to each other", the vivacious Yukari said. "We may not have them... but we still have our friends, right..?"

"You look oddly less attached to them, suddenly", Miho noticed. "Is it the explosion that made you shocked?"

"No, it's just that...that..."

Yukari burst into tears. Miho leaned over her and comforted her.

"Don't worry. We will find them. When we'll get out of here, I promise you that you will find our Pz. IV again, even if it's reduced to pieces."

"But how long will it take before we can go out, that is the question!" sobbed her friend.

"I was wondering the same thing", the commander whispered. "I think we will stay here until the fallout will be over. Look, Hiroshima and Nagasaki have become inhabitable again shortly after the bombs. There have been many cases of cancer and other diseases after, but residents could soon return here and it was inhabited before we got these three new bombs."

"Yes, but the bomb must have been more powerful since science advanced, Nishizumi-dono! Do you think we will one day get out of here?"

"I don't know..." Miho whispered. "But I hope so... with all my heart."

She hesitated to reveal her true intentions, fearing her friend would want to follow her. She didn't want to expose Yukari to such danger. Yukari would be obviously following her, and she could do things that'd put both their lives in danger, or even kill herself accidentally by acting reckless or too hyper. She preferred to go and leave good memories rather than being responsible for her death. If one of her friends died by her fault, she would feel guilty all her life.

"I'll go for a walk in the shelter", she said softly. "Do you want to come with me ? You'll think about something else..."

"Yeah, let's do this", Yukari replied, trying to calm down.

They got up and started walking. They went through the halls. The room next to Saori's was open. They looked inside: Saki Maruyama was sitting down and, as usual, stared into space, not seeming to having been affected by the explosion, nor by what had happened. She was just there, seemingly forever waiting for something that didn't come. Miho preferred not to disturb her and kept walking. The Rabbit team had their rooms nearby. Then came the Hippo team, Duck, Mallard, and finally Leopon and Anteater team. The Student Council's quarters were certainly very close to the office of the one who was no more called President, but Overseer. Sodoko was in a challenge with the Public Morales Committee: she would probably have no more power, since all of it was given to Anzu and her fellows. Miho shivered. Kadotani-san never had so much responsibility at once. Even if the commander knew the ex-President didn't have a dictatorial temperament, she had a small fear that this very high position would soon go to her head.

They continued to explore their new home. Downstairs, in the main hall, there was a corner that looked like a kind of small open dining hall, several toilets, a classroom and a little farther, after a long corridor, the reactor's room. The floor was for the living quarters and the clinic. At the top, close to the ceiling, there was a large round glass: behind it were the Overseer's quarters and her acolytes'.

The strange robot they had seen earlier went towards them. Miho still wondered how such technology could be completely hidden from the world.

"Hello girls!" he said cheerfully with his robotic voice. "I'm Mister Handy! This is my default name, as I can be renamed by the Overseer."

"You know, I don't think Kadotani-san will name you", the commander laughed. "I'm Miho Nishizumi."

"I'm Yukari Akiyama. Pleased to meet you. What an invention!"

"Thank you", the robot replied. "If Miss Kadotani doesn't rename me, you can still call me Mister Handy. You'll be fine here;.. don't worry, girls. I take care of the kitchen and storage, as well as household tasks of the vault. I also make sure everything is in order. I was programmed for it."

Miho suddenly had an idea. But she preferred to wait until the time was right to talk to this weird thing. After all, her escape was only a matter of time...

She continued to walk around until the curfew. Soon, she said to herself, soon it would be the end...


	3. Chapter 2

**Author's note : Helloooo~ How're you going, my dear ones ?~  
** **I took a bit longer for this chapter, I'm sorry. Chapters 3 and 4 are already finished and I'm working on the fifth one. They should come soon. Anyway, enjoy this one, and tell me how you feel about the story.**

* * *

 _"The difficult I'll do right now  
_ _The impossible will take a little while"_

\- Billie Holiday

* * *

A month had passed. A month since that damn bomb had destroyed Tokyo and two others completely devastated Niigata and Kitakyushu. Three again. Three for the one of Tokyo, and three because three bombs were dropped. Miho was living her life in the vault, but her desire to leave was even stronger. She felt something cold on her wrist. It was the metallic dogtag, as they had in the army, on which were inscribed the name, blood type, the vault, and from which academy they were from, as well as the prefecture. She was reading again and again the writings on it. _"Miho Nishizumi - Blood type A - Vault 49 - Oarai Girls High School - Ibaraki Prefecture"_

Suffering from insomnia, as almost always since she left the outside world, she continually looked at the time on her Pip-Boy. 5 AM. How many times had she checked? Four, five times? What was actually preventing her from sleeping was this slight white noise that came every night since a month, once the lights were off. Was it a hallucination or something real? She had trouble understanding what was happening. Were her friends and teammates sleeping badly as well?

She chose to leave her room and watch quietly from the windows if she was the only insomniac. Walking as silently as she could, she inspected: Mako still slept like a log, same for Saori, Yukari was perpendicular to her bed and Hana didn't seem to have any problems. In Rabbit team, nobody seemed to have insomnia, but when she inspected the Hippo team, if Caesar and Saemonza looked rather peaceful, although the latter had a little of abrupt movements in her sleep, Erwin and Oryou weren't sleeping. She gestured for them to go out and to come with her.

"You can't sleep either?" Miho asked.

"No", Erwin said. "It's like there's gonna be a bombing inside the shelter..."

"That's why I fall asleep during daytime", Oryou whispered. "I can't sleep... The noise bothers me."

"I knew I was not the only one" Miho muttered. "Do you know if there are other people that are going insomniac?"

"I remember seeing Kawanishi-san walking around more than once in the hallways, but that's all", the blonde replied. "Sasaki-san is in the clinic because of yesterday, Kondou-san is sometimes waking up too and walking here, and Isobe-san sleepwalks."

"Strange. I didn't remember her having sleepwalking issues", the Anglerfish commander murmured. "That white noise is simply... weird. What about the other teams?"

"I don't think I've seen anyone else, but let's take a look", Oryou said. "Lead the way. We'll follow you."

"Alright", Miho ended.

They walked slowly down the hall. They checked Duck team : Shinobu was moving a lot, but she seemed like she was sleeping anyway. Taeko was appearing as rather calm, despite looking somewhat nervous in her posture. Noriko wasn't there. Akebi wasn't either, but it was for a different reason. She was so disturbed since she got into the vault that she was having violent panic attacks, often leading her to fainting and having health issues that weren't there before. That was why she was at the clinic most of the time because of her frequent fainting.  
Nothing happened in Mallard team's rooms : if Sodoko could sleep deeply, Pazomi and Gomoyo, despite looking somewhat uneasy, did the same.  
For Leopon team : Hoshino had a restless sleep and seemed to have nightmares. Tsuchiya's bed was empty: she had certainly gone to the bathroom, which was normal, or maybe she was sleepwalking as well. Nakajima and Suzuki were enjoying Morpheus' arms.  
And for Anteater team, nothing unusual.

They finally came across Noriko. She was walking slowly, with open but empty-looking eyes, and was going to the door of her room. Sleepwalking episode. The three girls didn't dare to go to the Overseer's quarters. The last thing they wanted was to get in trouble. Some were having a hard time sleeping. Miho was almost sure it was the white noise.  
Was it that thing that was stressing Akebi so much? Perhaps she was beginning to finally lose control of herself, she cried so easily and had a tendency to be hypersensitive, even if she was physically fit and healthy. This white noise was scary. It was heard only at night, as if someone wanted to unconsciously inoculate something in the brain of those who slept. But what would be the others' fate? Those who had a restless sleep? Those who panicked? She preferred to head back to her bed, hoping to dive back into her dreams. She said good night to Erwin and Oryou and then went to sleep again.

When the time came to get up, Miho could hardly leave her bed. She felt terribly tired. Whenever possible, she would go to her room, lay down and take a nap. She thought of her friends who had no problems. Why was she the only one? Was it the desire to leave the vault that was actually keeping her awake? Were Erwin, Oryou, Saemonza, Akebi, Shinobu, Taeko, Noriko, Hoshino and Gomoyo having the same wish? To go away from that damn place that made them insane? And that white noise, what was it? Miho decided to investigate, but hesitated to tell the others. Would her escape cause a general mutiny and cause everyone to leave as well? It was the last thing she wanted to do, and yet it seemed to be the only solution. It was hard to wait, but she would continue despite her psychological suffering. She wanted to find Alice and Maho. Even if she had to die, she would find them.

She decided to return to her friends. They were just beginning to take their breakfast. Mister Handy served the meals here and here. He was going to the right, to the left, passed, passed again, always in that propulsion sound that made him float in the air.

"Miporin, you don't look okay", Saori worried.

"I'm fine, just a little bit tired", Miho replied. "I don't know how you can sleep with that white noise that is heard at night..."

"White noise ?" Hana questioned.

"Don't you hear anything? There's white noise that starts to sound after the curfew. Haven't you paid attention?"

"No", Yukari said. "I slept pretty well at night."

"Another nuclear bomb could be dropped, I wouldn't raise an eyelid", Mako mumbled, still somewhat asleep as usual. "I'd be likely to die in a bombing."

"Odd. It's been a month since that noise causes me insomnia, and I'm not the only one here. Some others have this issue as well."

"Really ?" the ginger asked.

"Yes", Miho replied. "It's strange. Some have a very restless sleep. Hoshino was painful to see... She looked as if she was running away from something or someone."

"Still, it's a little weird that we haven't noticed", Yukari said. "You hearing may be more refined?"

"No idea, and I'm afraid, really", the commander murmured. "What can happen now?"

"You should investigate", Hana said softly. "If it worries you, there is nothing wrong to do that."

"You're right", Miho ended. "After dinner, I'll see a few things."

She ate her breakfast normally despite her tiredness. Why was the noise here? That question was obsessing her. The detail that frightened her the most was that she was not the only one to feel that way. She thought of Akebi and of these strange panic attacks. It wasn't as if a cursed white cat had broken into the shelter and frightened her. She was perhaps just claustrophobic, who knew? Miho didn't remember hearing about her having a phobia, but never read the records. She wanted to ask Anzu about this, but it could get them both in serious trouble. Miho had to discover all of this by herself. It was still risky - if she was caught, who knew what could happen to her...- She had therefore to proceed differently. Her wish to talk about her plans to Mister Handy was still here. She was going to need allies. Maybe the robot would be useful at this point, if it was not for helping her to escape.

Miho knew how she was going to do it. She was going to distract the Overseer and her two acolytes, then access the terminal, this sort of old-fashioned computer. There were some of these ones here and here in the vault. She didn't like to do such things to Anzu, Momo and Yuzu, but it was the only way to get information. It already had lasted since a month : she was afraid of the consequences if it lasted longer. Some could become crazy, or worse! Nobody knew what that white noise was able to do, apart from insomnia, and what were its effects on the brain.

She preferred to go back to her friends. She could entirely trust them. She knew they wouldn't betray her.

"Here is my plan", Miho began. "Ask Kadotani-san to come see something in the living quarters, get to bring Kawashima-san and Koyama-san with her. I really need to know... it could save the mental health of everyone. If this white noise doesn't make us crazy, insomnia will do..."

"Roger", Yukari said. "Always ready to help Nishizumi-dono!"

"Don't worry, Miporin" replied Saori. "We will do our best."

As they went with the Overseer, Miho remained hidden. She only got out of her hiding spot when she saw the small group heading to the rooms. There, discreetly, she to the desktop. Luckily, the terminal was on and unlocked. She saw several files _: "VAULT 49 - INSTRUCTIONS TO OVERSEER"; "Experimentation" ; "Message from Vault-Tec"; "Information on the residents"._

Where to start ? She already wanted to know what was bothering Akebi. She clicked on the last of the files and found what she was looking for. She was curious to see her file, but that wasn't the question.

 _"Akebi Sasaki_  
 _Gender: Female_  
 _Birthday: XX / XX / 199X_  
 _Birthplace : Hitachinaka, Ibaraki Prefecture_  
 _Academy : Oarai Girls High School_  
 _Class: 1-C_  
 _Family: Father, mother_  
 _Blood type: O_

 _Notes on the resident :_

 _\- Akebi seems to have symptoms of claustrophobia. Since arriving in the vault, she suffers from panic attacks appear to worsen. No known antecedents of pathological anxiety before being evacuated. May suffer from PTSD. Often in the clinic due to fainting._

 _\- Akebi seems to be the first to react to the experiment."_

Miho shuddered. She knew now why Akebi was acting this way. An experimentation? She opened the first file that were the instructions to the Overseer.

 _"VAULT 49 - INSTRUCTIONS TO OVERSEER_

 _\- Ensure the survival of the population of the shelter._

 _\- Start the experimentation the first evening."_

 _\- Record the results and send them to Vault-Tec after they give the signal."_

Her guts hurting from the stress, she finally selected _"Experimentation_ " and what she saw tore her apart.

 _"Vault 49 is designed to test the effects of subliminal messages on the mental health of the population of a fallout shelter. At night, between 10 PM and 6 AM, white noise containing hidden messages will be broadcast._

 _Symptoms of declining mental health are primarily: insomnia, anxiety and panic attacks, reduced intellectual capacity and its extreme stage, madness. Some can even lose control of themselves and become a threat to everyone including themselves."_

Miho felt her stomach turn. Akebi was indeed suffering from the effects of white noise. How could anyone do such a thing to these people who were with her here? Why was Anzu completely destroying the mental health of the ones around her? What could happen if she chose not to do it? Why did she obey to Vault-Tec's orders, that company she had never heard of and that she didn't want here? Why was this vault, under a good and reassuring appearance, a terribly cruel project?  
She was so horrified that she thought she would throw up on the keyboard. She was worried for the ones who would be remaining, even if she hesitating now to take them with her. Miho thought about changing her plans and ensuring that others escape later. They were going to leave the vault one day, anyway. Maybe not in the best of their mental states, but they were going to get out. Miho just hoped they wouldn't be all mad to the point they would need a stay in a mental hospital.

She hurried out of here, trying not to be seen, and fled a little further, then she went quietly to her room and wept silently. All this cruelty they were doing to the people she loved was way too much... It was unbearable. Overwhelming.

She was going to leave that vault one day, and she would set them free as well. She believed it deep inside herself.


	4. Chapter 3

**Author's note : Hello here ! One more chapter ! Going to translate the fourth one now. My cousin reads the original version as I write it, so it kind of gives me a "boost". I write quicker and I may translate quicker too. If you have any questions, just ask. I'm always here.**

 **Enjoy this !~**

* * *

 _"Maybe you'll think of me_  
 _When you are all alone"_

\- The Ink Spots

* * *

Three months now. Three months since three bombs were dropped on three cities in three prefectures of Japan. What had become the world outside Vault 49, one of the many vaults in the country, where now lived the members of the Tankery club of Oarai Girls High School? How did the afterwar look like, finally? No one, at least not here, knew.

Momo and Yuzu sat in front of Anzu's desk. She had called them. Unusually serious-looking, the Overseer seemed to be quite nervous since some days.

"Tell us what's wrong, Kadotani-san", Yuzu said, not really understanding why she looked so anxious.

"We're running out of supplies", Anzu replied. "I'm not speaking of the air, the ventilation system works fine, but of the food. The water is purified, but there is no cultivation system in the vault."

"But, Overseer, why don't you tell Vault-Tec about this?" Momo asked incredulously.

"This is not an oversight. Apparently, looking at the plans of the vault, it was voluntary", Anzu whispered . "Several supply companies are still here though."

"But how haven't they been swept by the bombs?" Yuzu questioned, astonished.

"They are located in Hokkaido. It's the only island that hasn't been affected by the bombings. The Japanese headquarters of Vault-Tec were moved there, specifically in Sapporo. I wonder how this is possible, but you can contact them."

"It's strange though that the vaults can't communicate between themselves but can still interact with Vault-Tec" Momo said.

"I'll tell them of our problem and ask for a delivery. This should happen within days. They use Vertibirds", the Overseer replied.

"Vertibirds?" the vice-president asked. "What is a Vertibird?"

"Some kind of helicopter. An organization called the Enclave exported them worldwide."

"It will be a relief", Momo replied, strangely calm compared to usual. "At least, no one here will starve. The vault isn't meant for this."

"Well, it seems that the experiment I had to do here is giving results", Anzu explained. "Three students have begun to seriously lose their sanity. Akebi Sasaki, Hoshino, and Noriko Isobe. Moreover, speaking of the volleyball team this morning, Shinobu Kawanishi came to ask me if by chance there was anything to practice their sport, because it would help their leader to recover some mental health. Duck team girls are the first affected. I am surprised that the remaining two still have all their mental abilities. Taeko Kondou doesn't seem to be affected by the white noise, apart from asking lots of questions about it."

"Are there cameras in the rooms?" Momo asked.

"No, that would be a violation of privacy", the Overseer said. "Returning to deliveries, I'll contact Vault-Tec. In a few days it should be fine. We still have enough food and water to last three weeks by feeding everyone. This should not cause too many problems, and we can call them until they come if they don't do it in several days."

Behind the door, Miho stepped back. She had heard everything. Her finest hour was coming. She began to revise her plans in her head. Preparing for her escape, finding food, preferrably canned, purified water mainly because the radioactive water would be potentially harmful. What if she died from radiation poisoning? What was in it, after all? She would also get some Stimpaks, these weird big syringes, and Rad-X, a drug that increased resistance to radiation. She also looked for RadAway, but she didn't find any. These drugs were probably hidden in the clinic. She would take the bare minimum, such as blankets and provisions, to avoid carrying a too heavy amount of stuff. By cons, she didn't know on which day she would leave. She was already preparing her stuff and would add the last things right before leaving. Also, she would take her old clothes : the vault jumpsuit was not very comfortable to wear. It didn't feel very good, and yet it was her only outfit since three months.

She then looked for Mister Handy. He would be useful. After all, he was a robot, not a human being. She found him downstairs near the reactor's room.

"Mister Handy?" Miho called.

"Yes, miss ?" the robot answered.

"Is there any function in your program that can allow you to keep things between us and only us?" whispered the captain.

"Miss Nishizumi, I can keep a secret, yes. Nothing will be revealed to the Overseer. I am also surprised that you are the only one to ask this question."

Miho led the robot in the reactor's room, where she knew they wouldn't be disturbed and that no one would hear them.

"Well, I... I'm going to run away from here. Kadotani-san said they have three weeks of supplies left. In some days, there's going to be a delivery of Vault-Tec, and I wish to leave at this moment. Can you distract them when I bring my stuff to the elevator and go away so they do not notice my absence?"

Mister Handy took a moment to reply.

"I'm surprised that you wanted to leave Vault 49, Miss Nishizumi", he said. "But I don't want to offend you, so I'll help you. Come find me the day of delivery and I'll make sure you can proceed."

"I have something to ask you too. You would have to stop the experimentation program as well", she explained. "I learned that there was one, it's what causes the broadcast of this white noise at night. Several dwellers began to lose their mind because of this."

"The experiment is part of the life of the vault, Miss", said the robot. "You shall not stop it."

Miho started to feel tense and her throat felt tighter.

"The sanity of all of these vault dwellers is at stake!" she hissed. "Have you been scheduled to do such things?"

"I've been scheduled that to take care of the tasks in the shelter. I refuse to stop the experiment, but I agree to help you to get out of here. There are many things to do with Overseer Kadotani."

Miho calmed down, despite her teary eyes. She rarely lost her temper, but she felt so stressed that it just had to get out.

"I'll do it myself, so", she replied. "But you'll have to distract them twice."

"I will help you with this", accepted the robot.

"Fine", Miho said. "Won't bother you more, but keep it between us, I'm not kidding at all."

"Of course, Miss Nishizumi. My program can keep secret information. Even if the Overseer asks me to do so, I won't reveal it."

"Thank you for your help, Mister Handy", Miho ended. "Let's get out of here now."

They left the room. Miho returned to her room and went in search of a bag or a suitcase. She found the latter lying under the dresser. What was it doing there? That wasn't the question, Miho had found what she wanted. She hid it again here until the night. It was better to get ready when everyone was asleep and no one would spot her. What else did she need... Ah, yes! Something for writing! She wanted to give a farewell letter to her friends to explain the reasons of her departure and especially why she was leaving without them. That would have been horrible to abandon them without saying anything. Miho looked into the desk that was in her room and found a paper and pencil. She directly started writing.

 _"My dearest friends,_

 _I'm sorry to tell you this, but I'm leaving the vault and I won't come back. I never told you about this, but even before entering here, when the bomb destroyed Tokyo and its surroundings, I had already planned to go away.  
I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to follow me. The country is irradiated and probably destroyed, and I'd rather die myself than put you in danger. It's very hazardous up there, anything could take me away from this world. But I chose to take risks because there is a reason that tears my heart since I arrived in Vault 49. I need to find Alice, and we'll go find our families.  
I'm going to Kumamoto. My family is there: Maho, specifically. We planned to meet again as soon as possible. Now, it's been three months since I prepare it all and I hide you this terrible secret... But please, really, do it for me, don't tell the Overseer. Just say that I disappeared without a trace. I don't want anything to hurt you, but I can no longer bear the absence of my sister and Alice. I suffer, but I want to find my family. I will miss you a lot and I'll always think of you.  
Don't be sad to see me go: just remember the good times with your Nishizumi-dono, your Miporin, the one who was always there for you. I'll still be here mentally. And along with my departure, I'll make a wonderful gift to all of you, all of my club's members.  
The white noise we heard was actually indeed an experiment set up by Vault-Tec to test the mental health of the dwellers and possibly lower it. Just before leaving, through Kadotani-san's terminal, I'll deactivate the experimental program. Then when Vault-Tec will deliver supplies, I'll go quietly. The road is long, but I will survive. _

_This isn't goodbye, remember it, and above all, remember that I am still mentally by your side, no matter the distance between us. I love you so much, as much as a loyal friend could love, and I'll be always here, until beyond infinity... My little Anglerfish team._

 _Miporin "_

Her eyes were wet when she signed the letter. A tear hit the paper near her signature. She regretted so much to leave them, but it was the only way to protect them. She hid the letter under her pillow and waited for the night to prepare her luggage.

Two days later, Miho heard a noise. Vault-Tec arrived for delivery. She had to hurry up. By remaining in the shadows, waiting for the moment when nobody can see her, she put her suitcase on the elevator-door that would start to go up when she'd jump on it after pressing a button. She took in the suitcase her old clothes, lots of purified water, food for a week or two, thinking she would probably find cans in deserted houses, a blanket, four Stimpaks, three boxes of Rad-X, sterile gauze and some bandages, soap and a switchblade knife.  
She went in search of Mister Handy and sent him to distract the Overseer again: in a brave gesture, she deactivated the experimental program. White noise would be no more. Soon, her heart lightened, she quickly went back through her room and left the letter on her bed, then she ran to the elevator. She could use the Pip-Boy as a map and flashlight.

Miho pressed the button and jumped on the platform, having the suitcase with her, ready for adventure. Alice and Maho were not far! She felt finally free. Free from the prison that was the Vault 49. As she plunged into darkness before seeing the Japanese summer sun again, she took a deep breath and swallowed a pill of Rad-X, just in case the radiations were a bit high.

Disillusion. The devastated landscape of Oarai drew itself in her eyes when she was finally outside. No more trees were green: all the colours, formerly highly varied, had turned to a sad brown palette. The grass had disappeared or mutated in places. The few puddles were made of dark water. The charred, contamined trunks seemed almost dead. Miho was shocked. Everything was deserted. Deserted. No more people here. The houses had been destroyed. Some burned down. Some had collapsed. Three months had gone since these three bombs had fallen, and the third dropped on Japan since the beginning of its history had a huge impact, even 100 kilometers away. The sky was still blue, but nothing would be as before the war. Nothing would be as before these three bombs, three months before being dropped at three locations in Japan.

Using her Pip-Boy as a compass, Miho started walking towards the northwest, avoiding the Tokyo area as much as possible, and rushed, suitcase in hand, to the adventure that awaited her...


	5. Chapter 4

**Author's note : Hello again ! This one came quicker. I spent part of the night translating it, then just finished some minutes ago. I love writing this story. I think it's as enjoyable as The Cats when I wrote it. Also, putting lyrics at the beginning is somewhat new for me, but I find this interesting.~**  
 **I have some cyber-cookies to give if you leave some comment on the story.~ You're not forced to but reviews would be greatly appreciated.**

 **Enjoy this chapter, dear red potato.~**

* * *

 _"I was walking along, minding my business_  
 _When out of an orange-colored sky_  
 _Flash! Bam! Alakazam!_  
 _Wonderful you came by"_

 _\- Nat King Cole_

* * *

 **PART 2 : KANTO**

* * *

Miho had already walked for two days. Two, three days? Closer to three days than to two, actually. Two and a half days was a better word. She continued her journey, advanced through a devastated Mito, and had the pleasure to find a fruit drop can in a destroyed house. There were even chocolates! She ate some and spent the night in a building that was still holding up pretty well, then left in the morning. She had the opportunity to get changed. The vault dweller jumpsuit was now in the suitcase. She had thought about Hana when passing in Mito. Her friend was from there. She hoped her mother could get in the vault in time. It was quite likely ; she wasn't living very far from it. With any luck, Hana would quickly find her mother again after leaving Vault 49.

After passing the border of Ibaraki prefecture, she rested on a rock. Nothing much was limiting the prefectures anymore, finally. Human notions had disappeared after the nuclear apocalypse and nature would soon reassert itself. The houses on the road where she walked were completely destroyed. A brown desert. The reliefs of the landscape looked very sad now. Miho had just begun her journey and she already wanted to be arrived. She secretly hoped that teleportation was possible. She would already be in Kumamoto, would certainly have managed to find Alice and would finally feel the presence of her sister. She wouldn't have to walk 1200 kilometers on foot with all the risks that this presented.

She followed a road down the hill and passed near a destroyed field when a strange color caught her eye. She could smell an horrible scent. She slowly walking in its direction, trying to get used to this pestilential smell.

There were only a few bones and pieces of clothing remaining on the bloody grass. Miho shuddered, horrified. The remains still reddened by the fluid were what smelled like gone-off meat. She thought she recognized a star on one end of one of the pieces of cloth. She paid no attention to it: her eyes saw something shining on the ground, in this huge amount of blood. A dogtag. Another vault survivor? Was it someone she knew? She didn't remember the existence of any vault here. There were ones in Tochigi prefecture, especially in Utsunomiya and its surroundings, but in this hilly area..? It was really the only viable thing that remained of the person who had probably been devoured by a wild beast.

Miho took it in her hand and read it. She couldn't believe it.

 _"Hosomi - Type B - Vault 64 - Chihatan Academy - Chiba Prefecture"_

Hosomi? It was one of the girls with whom she had fought against the University in the battle that saved Oarai! A tank commander, she remembered... Commander of a Type 97 Chi-Ha. But how did she look like, exactly? Wasn't she this girl with a strange hairstyle, with an intense green stare? But what was a Chihatan student doing here? How had she got out? She hoped for a moment that she was not looking her family as well... It was perhaps what awaited her.  
She couldn't stand the sickly smell of blood that was stuck in her nose now. She walked away, and suddenly, she saw a four-legged silhouette moving behind a tree. It was an almost hairless bear with blackened, or even purplish skin, probably a mutant. Miho preferred to run before suffering the same fate as her fellow. This wasn't the time to die, she had barely left Oarai!

She walked away quickly and went on her way. She was holding Hosomi's dogtag. She wiped it on the suitcase and held it even firmer. What was she going to do but keeping it to remember her? Miho regretted to not having been able to get to know her before her death. She hoped Hosomi hadn't suffered too much when she lost her life. She hoped the bear simply broke her neck, but not that it started mauling her to death while she was still conscious. Miho would keep these memories all her life. The vision of the blood, the dogtag, the still reddened bones, and this smell, this terrible smell.

She was coming near an intersection when she saw another girl who was walking in her direction. Even from a distance, she looked familiar... What she wore reminded her of the uniform of Chihatan, and her long brown hair, with a half-fringe... She was looking like Kinuyo Nishi, the captain of the tankery club of this school!

"Nishi-san!" Miho called, feeling things clicking.

The other girl seemed to have a start and quickened her pace, seeming to realize who she was meeting as well. Both seemed incredulous.

"Eh... it's Nishizumi-san!" Kinuyo said, surprised. "You've escaped from a vault as well!"

"Yes... Vault 49... It's been two days since I'm walking", Miho replied. "How did you know that?... I'm going to Kumamoto to find a friend and my sister. What are you doing so far from your home?"

"I have no more home..." the Chihatan commander sighed. "Everything I had is gone. We fled from Vault 64 one month ago and we settled here. Tamada is very sick and it's been two days since Hosomi has been missing... Have you seen her? She may have chosen to return to Chiba without telling me."

"Hosomi?" Miho asked, disturbed. "Why did she go away? What happened?"

"I told her to look for something that could help Tamada getting better" Kinuyo murmured. "But she should have come back after all this time... I think you can find medicines in the cupboards of the houses, if they survived..."

Miho was holding the dogtag. With a heavy heart, she handed it to her fellow.

"I... found her..."

Kinuyo had a shiver. Her face fell when she took the tag with her trembling hands.

"It was ugly..." Miho whispered in a broken voice. "I also found blood... An extremely big amount of it. A bear probably mauled her and ate her, there was one a few meters away... Nothing much remains of her, apart from her dogtag..."

"So..." the Chihatan captain murmured, shocked and tarnished by the pain. "That was why she didn't come back... I knew it somehow. I just... didn't want to imagine such horrible things."

"I'm so sorry, Nishi-san..."

"It's nothing, Nishizumi-san... You didn't know she had disappeared. Do you want me to lead you to our small camp ? Tamada must be waiting for me, and I have to tell her about what happened to... to Hosomi..."

"Of course yes", Miho agreed. "I'll rest some and be better. I hope she'll get better..."

Kinuyo and Miho walked on the slight slope that led to two ruined houses: the farther one, though, still existed and seemed pretty solid. Besides, there was the forest on the hill. The Chihatan commander went inside.

"Tamada-san!" she called loudly. "We have a visitor!"

Miho looked around the room and noticed the girl lying on an old futon that had survived the destruction. She was in a corner of the room, where there was probably a closet. Kinuyo approached her and patted her gently on the shoulder to wake her up. Tamada painfully raised her head, looked exhausted.

"Oh, Nishizumi-san", the sick said. "What is she doing here?"

"She tries to find her family and has just crossed my path", said Kinuyo. "I must tell you something too..."

Tamada slightly raised, trying to sit up.

"Well... how should I say that...", the long-haired captain whispered, handling the dogtag to her braided friend. "Hosomi is dead... A bear killed her."

The face of the sick tarnished even more. Her reddish eyes lowered as she remained uncharacteristically silent. Right after, she laid down again, seemingly too tired to actually sit up. Miho saw that she had some slight spasms. She guessed she was crying silently, and then she would quickly fall asleep again.

Kinuyo remained here, her head down and her eyes closed, trying not to let go of her emotions. She wasn't sure if she did the right thing by announcing the death of Hosomi in such a way. The Oarai commander approached her.

"Do you wanna go for a walk tonight or something?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine with going outside now..." Kinuyo replied. "But we should stay under shade."

They went out. The sunlight was beginning to decline a little. It was getting a bit cooler. They felt the breeze caressing their cheeks.

"You know, Nishizumi-san, it's a good thing you're here, finally. I need someone to help me overcome Hosomi's loss, and... I don't think Tamada is really able to help me at the moment... she's so weak... she's weaker and weaker..."

"How did she get sick?" Miho questioned.

"She drank polluted water. It's been a month or so since we left the vault, and at the beginning, when we were still in Chiba, she got really thirsty and she just went to drink in a puddle. I told her not to consume this water, but she said it didn't matter and drank anyway."

Kinuyo paused for taking a breath, feeling her throat tightening.

"It had rained a bit before we arrived here... and... impulsive as she is, she preferred to brush me off. She didn't listen to me when I warned her about the water being possibly radioactive. And then, she was ill all night, couldn't stop throwing up and emptying herself through the other end for two days, and after that she got better, I thought she had just drank a bit of stagnant water. But things went sour again a week ago, she barely eats anything when she can, and is so tired that she sleeps all day, yet she was fine before this..."

"Do you think she poisoned herself?" the Oarai commander said.

"I think she's got radiation sickness because of what was in this water... Neither Hosomi nor I drank anything but purified water that we stole from the vault. Only Tamada took the risk to go drinking in a puddle."

"She should have listened to you", Miho sighed. "If she did, she would probably be still healthy."

"It's been three weeks that we settled here. We chose to stay there. After all, there is the Anzio school in Vault 65 not far from here, in Utsunomiya... Maybe they'll come out soon, or other people will be escaping like we did. You had friends, right? What have they become?"

"Actually, I left without them", Miho sadly replied. "I didn't want them to come with me, it would have exposed them to too much danger. Also, I want to find Alice and Maho. You know, Alice Shimada, the young commander of the University."

"Oh, she's still alive?" Kinuyo said, surprised.

"Yes. Her mother was in Kumamoto when the bombs were dropped. Alice is in Vault 54, in Fukui, and wants to go there as well to find her. She's closer to the Niigata area. I wonder if she already got out..."

"In our vault, we were part of a weird experiment", the Chihatan commander told. "At six o'clock sharp every morning, we had to get up and we weren't allowed to speak until 9 PM, or else we'd be punished. But not a single word. Nothing. I normally hate to break the rules, but I would sometimes talk quietly to my friends in my room or in theirs. But many ended up depressed and some even went insane. I really thought this was going to end up making me crazy too..."

"You were part of one as well?" Miho questioned. "Every night since the beginning, white noise containing subliminal messages was broadcasted to test the mental health of the vault dwellers. Some have lost their mind, and many ended up as insomniacs like me. That sound is still in my head... Hearing it for three months every night, I won't even tell you how horrible it is..."

"Oh god", Kinuyo whispered. "I can't even imagine how tired you must be... Luckily you're not in this hell anymore. Finally, it's a good thing we came across each other..."

"That's right... Nishi-san, I want to stay by your side. You will help me cope with the situations. It's hard to travel alone, especially when I'm exposed to these kind of hazards... When Tamada will get better, we will leave together. You have nothing more in Chiba anyway, do you?"

"No, unfortunately", the other girl murmured. "Everything was destroyed here. Our three families were killed because too far from the nearest vault. They died in the explosion. It made us even closer. We formed a trio until Hosomi was gone..."

Miho sighed and put a hand on her fellow's shoulder as a sign of support. She didn't like knowing that people were sad around her. Kinuyo had a nostalgic, even painful look.

"Maybe we should go back inside", the Chihatan commander suggested. "Tamada is likely sleeping, but we should stay with her anyway, just to keep her company."

"Let's do this", the Oarai captain agreed.

They returned again and sat in the room near the sick girl, who was still deeply in Morpheus' arms. Miho worried about her. She hoped she would recover from the radiation, and quickly... What would happen in the future, now that she had two friends with her?


	6. Chapter 5

**Author's note : Back with a new chapter. I'm satisfied with this one. I enjoyed writing it. Chapter 6 will be coming soon. _  
_**

**Enjoy your reading~**

* * *

 _"Into each life some rain must fall_  
 _But too much, too much is falling in mine._  
 _Into each heart some tears must fall,_  
 _But some day the sun will shine."_

\- Ella Fitzgerald

* * *

Miho enjoyed watching the falling evening. These shades of blue, matching the gold of the sun that was disappearing over the horizon, had always caressed her eyes like silk. The smells became more humid, making her feel the fragrance of the evening, and insects were beginning to be heard. The Oarai commander was almost surprised that there were still insects left after the nuclear apocalypse. The sounds of nature had never gone away despite being nuked.

Kinuyo was a little further. She had taken twenty minutes to start the fire: slamming two rocks against each other to make one spark or two wasn't what she was the best at. She was cooking rice she had brought from the vault. She was careful with the food, giving a few glances here and there to Miho and Tamada, who remained lying although she woke up. Cooking wasn't her speciality, but she managed to do something quite decent.

Miho got closer to Tamada and sat beside her. The latter turned her gaze. Her complexion was almost greyish because of the condition affecting her body; she already had pale skin in her normal state. Her reddish eyes were looking questioningly.

"Tell me", she said in a voice broken by her tiredness, "how did you get here?"

"Well", Miho explained, "I left the vault too. Vault 49. I ran away to find my family and one of my friends in Kumamoto."

"Wow. It's really far from here... you'll cross the country. You really lucky to still have someone living in your family."

"My sister got into her vault in time, and Alice too."

"Besides, wasn't your sister the Commander of Kuromorimine? You look very alike. I remember seeing you during the fight against the University... Nishi-san also mentioned you a lot when we fled from our vault."

"She is", Miho replied. "Maho is my older sister. Our mother is the leader of Nishizumi style, unfortunately for me. Luckily, my sister was able to get me out of this delicate situation."

"For my part, my parents never prevented or forced me to do tankery", the braided said. "I just loved it and I felt that I was made for this. I don't ask for anything big, I just want to be able to live my life. It must have been hard on your side."

"My family founded Nishizumi style, so it was really not joining it which caused me trouble, but doing something different from what I was meant to", the Oarai commander murmured. "For a friend of mine, whose family was traditionally practicing Ikebana, her mother didn't accept this, but she gave up when she saw that her daughter wouldn't let go."

"Parents are sometimes strange... I know what I mean."

Tamada stopped suddenly and seemed to cough. Miho saw that her gums were bleeding. She had put some blood on the remains of tatami next to the futon.

"Are you okay?" the captain worried.

"Don't worry, I'm used to having my gums bleeding. Sometimes I choke a little when I'm talking because of it", the other replied. "And I always have that damn metallic taste in my mouth..."

"It's ready!" a voice sounded further.

Kinuyo was going to serve the meal. Miho got up and walked forward. She hesitated to take Tamada by the arm to pull her, but thought she would come when she would be hungry, or when the brunette would bring her some food later. She had no appetite, but maybe it would come back at some point. Miho didn't want her to die from starvation.

The snow-white rice was terribly appetizing. Miho's stomach just begged for it. She had only one desire: to eat this precious meal. She was so happy to have a small group of people who could help her in difficult times.

"Have a good meal", Kinuyo said.

"You too", Miho replied.

The taste and texture of the rice made her feel great. They were her best companions during the meals. She felt on her tongue the gentle stroke of the white cereal that made her feel complete since her earliest childhood. Maho also had this taste for rice and they loved to share a bowl together with some sweet sauce on top. Alice loved it too.

After this well-deserved meal, Miho laid down on the tatami. The girls had some light coming from a small fire outside and a flashlight inside: adding a kotatsu in the room would have been perfect. It was dark, beautiful and blue, and some stars lit up the sky. She sat on the edge, thinking. Her friends maybe would never see these beautiful constellations again. Even after a triple apocalypse, it hadn't lost its beauty at all. Was Maho seeing these stars? And Alice? Was she out of Vault 54? Could she see the magnificence of what surrounded the Earth? Miho felt their presence in her heart, desperate to see their faces and hear their voices.

"Pretty, isn't it?" Kinuyo said while getting closer. "That's why I loved the nights under the stars, and when I camp, I make sure to sleep outside."

"Same for me... With my sister, we often fell asleep on the tank while diving into this infinity."

"I wonder if we can still do it... When Tamada will get better, we'll leave and we will lay down on the ground before closing our eyes on the sky..."

"Yes, it will be truly magical... With friends, it's even better", whispered Miho.

"We'll be your traveling companions", Kinuyo whispered, her eyes full of stars. "We both have no more family, but you'll eventually become ours."

They heard a noise. Miho preferred to see what it was to avoid getting worried. She was surprised. Tamada had got up. The thing that shocked the captain was the girl's body... Her face wasn't too emaciated, but she was dreadfully thin. Even under her clothes, one could see that her wrists and legs were way too thin to be healthy. It was clear that she hardly ate anything. She smiled at Miho, then sat by Kinuyo. What frightened Miho the most was that the sick girl's breath sounded strange, as if the simple act of breathing destroyed her ribs.

"You really should eat", the long-haired said in an anxious tone. "You would get your strength back."

"I can't eat, you saw it", Tamada sighed. "It's too much for me... can't keep it... I'm already surprised to have had the energy to get up."

"It's a good thing", Miho said. "You might be actually recovering."

"Perhaps. It's possible", the ill girl replied. "But I'm still very tired."

"Lay down if you're not feeling good", Kinuyo murmured.

"Don't worry, Nishi-san. I can hold on, I'm a true fighter!"

"Being a fighter doesn't mean that you should take too many risks", she continued. "I know that the tradition is to charge regardless of what could stop you, but your life is at stake..."

"Listen, if I feel bad, I'll go back to sleep", Tamada said. "I'll spend some time with you, I need to."

"You can stay, you know", Miho smiled. You're not a bother to us. I'm happy to have met you..."

"You were a good meet too. And it's been a long time since Nishi-san was talking about you... I knew she liked you for a reason."

"To be honest, I feel that it will be a pleasure to travel with her", Kinuyo laughed.

Tamada was about to reply when the three saw something extraordinary after this end of the world.

Bright, light, three fireflies flew not far away from the girls. They soon landed on some grass. Miho, amazed, looked at them, forgetting all that was around. It was so beautiful, so alive, it was the proof that life could be revived. One of them gently died out as a star that had reached the end of its life. The other two continued their flight by turning around each other, then disappeared into the darkness of the night.

"Wow", Kinuyo whispered. "The last time I saw fireflies, it was on my first year of middle school."

"When I was little, I loved to try to catch them",Miho said. "Maho captured some for me sometimes. We could play for hours with them."

"I liked watching them too", Tamada added. "I prefer to run after them, but I love their light."

"You'd give anything to let your energy go out", Kinuyo chuckled.

She yawned just after, making her eyes watery.

"I'm leaving you", the Chihatan commander said. "I'm going to bed. Good night, and have a good time getting to know each other, you two."

"Night!" Tamada replied.

"Sleep well", Miho wished, a little scared because of her fellow's weakened voice.

Kinuyo walked away and laid down. She had given the only futon to her friend. She slept with her head on the bag with the supplies inside. Miho wondered how she could get to sleep in these conditions. She was lying on her side and directly on the floor. It was likely a torture for her bones.

The sick girl put a hand on her shoulder. The captain turned around.

"Nishizumi-san... I would have loved that in addition to Nishi-san and I, you would have known Hosomi..."

"Was she a good person?"

"Yeah, a very good friend. She had humor and was an honest person. She looked like a little a sort of mix between Nishi-san and I sometimes."

The captain chuckled. She wanted to share her journey with her. But fate had thought of something else, unfortunately... She remember what she saw earlier in the day. The blood, the remains, the dogtag. Hosomi no longer existed, what just remained was this metallic plate. The rest was gone forever.

"Actually, even though I still have Nishi-san, I don't think she will be enough... It's a good thing you're here too", the sick girl continued.

"She told me the same thing earlier", Miho laughed. "Finally, we're a trio again."

"Yes, although it won't be as before, we will always be together, us three. Nishi-san, Hosomi and I, before going here, we had so many good laughs... Even though I was very ill for two days at the beginning, I enjoyed myself a lot with them. I was happy."

"I was alone, but it was that or putting my friends in danger. I chose to leave by myself and only by myself to avoid risking their lives."

"You made the right decision, I think", said Tamada. "Don't make the same mistake as I did, it could greatly damage your health... I know what I mean, Nishizumi-san."

She sighed. Miho directly understood. She looked behind herself. Kinuyo slept well, a rather heavy sleep, because they could easily wake someone with their talking. The captain got up and walked slightly further outside. The cool night air caressed her cheeks. She was going to look for the fireflies when she heard the sound of something falling. She turned: Tamada had collapsed on the tatami and was laying on her left side.

Miho rushed to her fellow. She was breathing with even more difficulty. Her half-closed eyes had a painful expression, worse than before, when the captain had noticed that something was very disturbing with her condition. When she was taking a breath, or rather gasping for breath, it was making it sound almost like hiccups. She looked at Miho. Her reddish pupils looked helpless.

"Nishizumi-san..." she panted. "It... hurts..."

"I'll wake Nishi-san", Miho trembled.

She didn't even need to go to her friend : Kinuyo, probably sensing what was happening, got up with a start and ran to her sick friend, panicked.

"Tamada!" she cried, her eyes widened.

The dying girl glanced at her, rose her head a bit and tried to turn slightly, but couldn't. Kinuyo knelt beside her and took her hand. She put it against her own heart. Miho watched what was happening, feeling a lump in her throat.

"It's okay..." Tamada murmured.

"Stay with us, please..." Kinuyo said desperately. "We'll find a way to cure you..."

"I fought well, you know", the sick whispered. "I never gave up..."

"Tamada-san..." Miho said.

The braided turned to the Oarai captain and gave her a weak smile. Despite her short breath, she managed to articulate.

"Nishizumi-san... or rather... Miho, we only communicated in a small amount of time but... you're my friend."

"Thank you... thank you, Tamada..."

Kinuyo was shaking. She was pressing the dying's hand firmer on her chest. She turned her gaze, her eyes shining.

"Please, Tamada..."

"It's okay, I promise, Kinuyo... I promise..."

She struggled to pronounce her last words. It was the first time she called her by her first name. Miho, after exchanging one last look with the braided girl, went further. It was too much for her.

She sat back against a wall and tried to calm the sobs that began to shake her. She heard what was happening a little further; although she tried to ignore it all, she couldn't...

A few minutes later, she heard something which made her burst into tears.

"Tamada-san! Tamada-san! Please... stay with me..."

Kinuyo's voice was lowering.

"...Tamada...s..."

Miho joined her, her eyes swollen by emotions. The Chihatan commander, now her only traveling companion, was lying next to the braided.  
Tamada had stopped gasping; her eyes had closed. Her heart had stopped beating forever. It was over. Kinuyo had untied her braid, letting her hair down, and held in her hand the white ribbon that held it. She was so beautiful in her eternal sleep...  
Silent, the long-haired girl couldn't hold back the tears that flooded her face now; Miho took her in her arms. They were no more three, but only two now...


	7. Chapter 6

**Author's note : Hello folks ! How're you going ? I hope you're ready for this new chapter. Sorry for the long time taken, I was writing the original version of the next ones so I wouldn't get stuck when having to translate. You'll see what happens~  
Enjoy this chapter ! **

* * *

_"They call me a wanderer_  
 _Yeah, a wanderer_  
 _I roam around, around, around, around"_

 _\- Dion_

* * *

Kinuyo pressed against her this rusty candy tin she and her friends had brought from the vault they were all three alive. Inside, Tamada rested. The two girls had cremated her body at dawn and put all the ashes they could in this little metal box. Miho still felt that lump in her throat. She helped Kinuyo to tie Tamada's ribbon around her wrist so they would still be physically a bit with each other. It was, in a way, purely symbolical, but in the other, it meant much more than just a symbol. Losing two friends in a row was an horrible experience.

They had left their small camp just after the cremation and had walked a long way to Kanuma. Lots of things, here too, were destroyed. There were only abandoned ruins, and the population had either been killed or sent to the vaults. They bypassed Tokyo as far as possible: they didn't want to die the same way as their late friend did. As they could have seen, radiation could cause terrible damage...

"Tell me, when do you think we should leave?" Miho asked.

"Tomorrow morning. We will advance as long as we'll be able to", Kinuyo said. "I need to rest... all of this was so tiring."

"Let's spend the night here and go tomorrow, okay?" the ginger replied.

Kinuyo nodded. Miho sat on some rubble and thought. For how many kilometers had her traveling partner and her friends walked? How many were left until they'd reach Kumamoto? Everything had just begun for both of them. Kinuyo would follow her and move in with her. They wanted it. They had decided to no longer separate and to help each other in this dangerous journey. They were going to spend a month or two together: it was better for them. Although Alice was going to join their small group, they would still be safer with each other. No one knew what happened, they could need a helping hand at a moment or the other, and it could be life-saving to have a companion.

"What do you want to eat tonight?" Kinuyo asked.

"Depends, what do you have to offer? I don't have lots of food..."

"I have lots of cans of purified water, rice, mainly bread and cans pork and beans, corned beef, vegetables, even these gross tinned ravioli, there's a bit of everything, but I also have two more candy tins" the brunette replied. "I accumulate doses for three... I'm probably the one who has the most supplies here. What did you bring?"

"Canned bread exists, I have some. I also got cheese, rice, tins of sardines, canned yakitori, some onigiri, tomato sauce... I also have several varieties of soup and found a pot of umeboshi. I took what I could without starving the whole vault."

"What do you prefer, Nishizumi-san?"

"I don't particularly care", Miho said. "Just go with the flow."

"Alright", Kinuyo ended.

They were, later, eating their ration of pork and beans when they heard a small noise. An animal moan, specifically. Miho pulled back slightly, afraid to end up like Hosomi did.

"What is that?" the long-haired girl murmured.

She walked towards what was making noise. By searching through some branches, she saw that it was a dog. A male Akita Inu mongrel, specifically. He seemed a bit scared and hungry. She stepped back and indicated to him to come near her, then opened a corned beef box. He rushed on the food.

"He's ravenous... He must have been abandoned, or perhaps his owner died", Miho speculated.

"Or maybe he escaped from a cellar or anything else that kept him from being irradiated", Kinuyo suggested. "Do you think he could become a traveling companion as well?"

"Why not, we would be a trio again in this case", the redhead agreed. "He's so cute..."

"We have to name him, though... we can't always call him 'the dog' or 'doggie'", Kinuyo replied.

"It will come naturally", Miho said. "We'll found him a name that will suit him well."

The animal seemed reassured. He laid near the two girls. He watched them with a doubtful look, but didn't look aggressive, just shy. He soon fell asleep, probably exhausted too. Kinuyo and Miho, after finishing their meal, left their rubbish here but hid it; what if someone was following them?

When they went to bed, they had to take shelter in a building piece that had survived: the rain began to fall. They quickly moved their stuff and told the dog to lie a little further. These drops of water were perhaps responsible of the spread of the toxic particles. They wouldn't drink in the puddles, that was certain!

Kinuyo, once more, pressed the tin against her. She felt the energy of her dead friend, probably because there were her ashes. This helped her feel more comfortable. The night was even darker because of the clouds: one could not distinguish the moon behind them. Miho approached her, almost leaning against her side. There was a fresh breeze: the warm atmosphere of summer was suddenly colder.

"Have you brought a blanket?" the Chihatan commander questioned.

"Yes, don't worry. I have one in case it gets cooler."

"Thanks goodness", the long-haired shivered. "I hadn't thought of bringing one and some of our nights were cold... Sometimes, with Tamada and Hosomi, we would sleep against each other to get some warmth."

"Now we have a dog", Miho giggled. "If the heat of our bodies is not enough, he could help us. And in addition, he's fluffy. I love fluffy things."

"Yes", Kinuyo said with a chuckle. "I don't think I'd have made it all alone, Nishizumi-san. I'd probably already be dead by now... You saved my life, you know."

"That's nice from you", she whispered. In some way, you saved me too."

The rain had a calming effect. Quickly, they felt taken away by the numbness of sleep. The smell of the water appeased them. They slept there, on the ground as last night, their heads against the bag of supplies and the suitcase behind. Miho pulled the blanket and put it on them both. It had just the right size. Kinuyo laid behind her and took her in her arms as if to reassure herself, like with a teddy bear. The improvised urn was placed before them, and the dog was a few meters away. Miho felt the ribbon around her friend's wrist.

"Have a good night", Kinuyo whispered while finding a more comfortable position. "Sleep tight."

"Good night, Nishi-san."

It wasn't the first time Miho spent a night like this. She liked sleeping with her friends, but never imagined doing it this way with someone so quickly. Yet day after day, she was getting closer to Kinuyo and feeling a lot of things going on. The attachment, to her surprise, seemed to build up quite rapidly. She felt her soft breath on her neck and fell asleep in the reassuring warmth of her body. Feeling protected was making her so peaceful...

The morning sun made her open her eyes. She was still in her embrace... The rain had stopped, the day was reflected in the puddles here and there outside. The dog was sitting a little further and was watching them. Kinuyo wasn't awake yet. Miho looked at her. She was so beautiful in her sleep. The ginger girl almost wanted to dive back in her dreams as well. She turned her head, enjoying the few more minutes she would spend safely here. A little later, she felt a slight movement. Her friend finally emerged. Miho turned again.

"Did you sleep well, Nishi-san?"

"Very well, and you?" Kinuyo replied with a smile.

"Sleeping with someone you really like and feeling protected is the best feeling in the world", Miho said while getting up. "Haven't felt this warm since days."

The brunette did the same. They looked for something to eat in the bag of supplies. Miho, not forgetting about the dog, called naturally:

"Dogmeat! Come here, buddy."

Dogmeat. This was now this Akita mutt's name. How was he called before they met him? They would never know. Maybe he was nameless, or maybe it was his actual name. Either way, he stood up and happily wagged his curled tail. Kinuyo had got out a corned beef tin again. In a very short time, some licks later, he had eaten it all. He was happy now, this was reflected in his dark eyes.

"Dogmeat!" the long-haired girl exclamed with a laugh. "What a name..."

"It just came", Miho said. "It fits him really well."

"Yeah !" Kinuyo replied. "Now, he's our dog, he's ours and only ours!"

After this quick breakfast and finishing getting ready, they left again. On their Pip-Boys, they had the map in front of their eyes and therefore could know where they were. Mountain roads were beautiful, even after a nuclear apocalypse. The reliefs were constantly let Miho in awe of the landscape: Kinuyo's comments and Dogmeat's joyful barking could only make the trip more enjoyable.

They walked and walked, but no day was like the other. The road they were following had nothing to do with their camp in Tochigi Prefecture, near Mooka : it had nothing in common with it, even the landscapes were different: they passed from the plain to the mountains. They were going to see a lot of relief: Japan was a very mountainous country. Hours and hours a day, either silently or talking, they were walking. They often alternated between talking and being quiet. Dogmeat often sniffed around and brought them things. He had brought a couple of water cans already.

At the end of the day, Kinuyo and Miho reached Gunma Prefecture: they were in Numata. Tired by the long walks with little breaks, they saw a river: it was the Katashina river, which ran in the prefecture. Under a fragment of the bridge, they settled. It couldn't hurt them after all: in addition, they were at a good distance away from the shore.

The sun was beginning to go down, drawing beautiful reflections on water that continued to run on the rocks. Dogmeat played in the river, happily leaping to catch a stick Miho was throwing. Kinuyo was a little further back, loving watching her friend and their dog having fun together.

The night would probably be wonderful. The clouds had moved away: they would see the stars, and maybe some fireflies tonight. They remembered the three fireflies. Wasn't the bomb itself a huge ball of light that had ascended to heaven in the form of a giant mushroom of fire? What would happen in the evening? And how would be the next part of their journey?


	8. Chapter 7

**Author's note : Sorry for the long time taken, I was visiting family and didn't have much time.. But it's here, Chapter 7 is here ! Finished translating it. Chapters from 8 to 12 are written in original version and I'm currently working on chapter 13. I'll translate the eighth (unsure of spelling) chapter soon.**  
 **I hope you're all feeling okay. Enjoy this chapter, my red potatoes.~**

* * *

 _"I don't want to set the world on fire_  
 _I just want to start_  
 _A flame in your heart"_

 _\- The Ink Spots_

* * *

Dogmeat was a lovely dog. Miho and Kinuyo were glad to have found him. They didn't expect that the third member of the trio would be an animal. The brunette stroked the canine's fur, who was lying between them. He had rolled over the back. He found two owners that made him happy. Miho marvelled at such a cute ball of red and white fur. She loved to cuddle with him when she felt the need for some doggy affection. He often licked her cheek. Sometimes he was going on the top of one of the girls and washed her face in licks. The best companions weren't always the human ones.

After a peaceful night near the Katashina River, they gone away. Mountain roads had become usual for them. Going up and down along the slopes wouldn't be tiring anymore at some point. The dog ran happily around them. It was a difficult journey, but now it was brightened. It was always better than a tiring and boring journey.  
Kinuyo calmly walked alongside Miho, who thought about Tamada. They still had their third friend, finally; but she was just ashes in a candy tin and never talked to them. She was there without being there. Her body was still with them, but her mind was gone... Where was she? And Hosomi? Was her soul in the dogtag now? Or was it gone too? Miho preferred not to wonder too much about this to avoid becoming crazy. Kinuyo went closer to her and gave her a sorry look.

"You look disturbed..." she whispered.

"I can't believe we lost our friends on each side and that we had to go through this to be that close, Nishi-san..."

"Yes..." Kinuyo sighed. "I didn't expect that something like our friendship was truly born when everything would be at the most horrible point for us... I mean, we were friends before the war, but the third made it stronger... Do you think we could have had a deeper relationship before the apocalypse?"

"I don't know", Miho said. "It's hard to say... Many other things could have made us closer. A friendly Ooarai versus Chihatan match, or maybe assistance in difficult times for your school or mine... It could have happened anytime as it could never happen."

"You're right... So far, you knew only a part of me. Just before the three bombs fell and devastated our country, I had just finished some onigiri that I was eating with Fukuda, Hosomi and Tamada. We were in the park when the siren began to scream. No one was missing, luckily, in our club. I had been warned about the presence of these vaults a bit after the fight against University, when we were in class."

"Fukuda?" Miho questioned, surprised. "Why wasn't she with you?"

Kinuyo lowered her head, a guilty look in her eyes.

"She couldn't come, sadly..." she murmured, her voice sounding almost faint. "I failed in my duties, I left her in the vault... I planned to come with her, but at the last moment, she couldn't get out. Nagura and Ikeda may have taken her under their wing now. Perhaps Teramoto and Hamada did too. I hope she doesn't think I abandoned her..."

"How did you get out of here?"

Kinuyo paused, as to swallow back her remorse. Her eyes looked even more down.

"A mutiny. Our Overseer was the president of the Student Council... I guess it's the same in all shelters. I planned it at night, we prepared everything and we launched the offensive at 4:30 AM. It was violent... We were so mentally exhausted that we all literally lost our minds. Several were hit, we broke furniture and used debris as weapons, then Hosomi opened the door and we went out."

"And Fukuda?"

"We lost her. She started taking interest in me especially because I gave her a chance to put her plans in action in this famous match, she felt listened to and focused on me. Tamada was her mentor, but she preferred to talk to me, especially when she felt a little blue. At a moment, when I hid in a locker, she lost sight of me. You know, in such noise, it's difficult to isolate words. When we were in front of the vault door, I realized that she was missing, but Tamada told me to forget about her and go anyway. I followed her and Hosomi was already walking in front of me, but you can't know how much I regret having left Fukuda alone... I was her role-model..."

"I'm so sorry, Nishi-san..."

"I never told Hosomi and Tamada why I was more protective than usual. It was because I knew how losing someone could be quick. And I've seen it again... I lost one of them in not even two days and the other died in a week. The nightmare repeats again and again..."

She stopped again, as if she was containing the emotion that was taking over her, than glanced back at Miho.

"And you, how it happened? How did you get out of the vault?"

"Like you, I planned everything", Miho explained. "Since day one, I wanted to leave. Just before the three bombs were dropped, I texted Alice. It was her who warned me and told me to go to the vault. That was before I heard the siren. I gathered everyone and we went on the elevator."

"You were very lucky", Kinuyo replied.

"Yes, I was", the ginger continued. "And at the last moment, I texted Maho. I told her I loved her and that I wanted to see her again as soon as possible. We agreed on it. And then... I heard a huge explosion and saw a mushroom-like cloud rising... It was so bright that everyone was blinded. The sky's colour even changed... We went down just before being swept away by the blast's wind."

"Oh my god, it must have been horrible", the long-haired girl said. "I didn't see the explosion. Our vault was in the basement of the old Chihatan building, before it was on a school ship. It's still there after decades... I just heard a bit of noise after this gigantic door closed."

"Then, one day, I heard the Overseer mentioning a delivery from Vault-Tec. I got ready for my escape and the same day I sent the robot we had here to distract her. Then I ran away when no one was paying attention. I had left a letter to my friends and when I came out of the vault, I used my Pip-Boy as a compass, and my journey began..."

"It was still less violent than on my side", Kinuyo replied. "I hope no one died because of what I did..."

They continued to walk, followed by the dog who enjoyed this great walk. For him, it was nothing more than that. He didn't imagine that it was actually something way more serious. Miho envied his animal innocence so much. He hadn't been exposed to the harshness of the world and could still naively think he was just walking with his two owners. He knew nothing about the three nuclear explosions that had harshly affected Japan. For him, it meant nothing. He just heard an explosion, felt very afraid and had to hide. How had he survived, finally? They wouldn't know.

The day passed quickly for Miho and Kinuyo. They took a break in Isemachi to eat and rest their feet a bit, then were back to the road soon. They were in Agatsuma district, in Gunma Prefecture. They wanted to go as far as possible. Finally, in Naganohara, when fatigue started to take over them, they stopped for the night. They settled down a hill, under a tree. The branches would be their mattress. The sky was fairly clear, it was unlikely that it would rain like last night. Miho told the dog to retrieve the branches: he could bring interesting things sometimes. He was rewarded with a piece of biscuit.

Kinuyo was definitely not the best at lighting campfire. A bit fed up with smashing two stones against each other, she used wood: it was already a bit faster. She cooked again some pork and beans; however, she was worried about not having enough food to last a very long time, although she had taken a lot of them. She would tell Miho after the meal.

They loved the peaceful scent of the evening's air. The brown hills formed some sort of cradle around them, as if all that was between the two reliefs were their bed. Kinuyo was lying next to Miho, who was sitting with Dogmeat's head on her lap. He slept peacefully, like a dog who was happy after a nice home-cooked meal.

"Nishizumi-san, we should go to steal some supplies tomorrow, I fear that we will eventually run out of them soon, better safe than sorry..."

"But we still got lots of them!" Miho said, surprised.

"I know, but I want to be provident. We'd be...uh... taken in if we were suddenly finding ourselves with nothing to eat or drink in the middle of this radioactive desert."

"Alright, we'll go", the redhead said.

Kinuyo rose and put her arm around Miho.

"Beautiful night, isn't it? Reminds me of the good old days..."

"Yeah, before this war... Moreover, Nishi-san, I wonder how the three ground zeros look like now."

"Probably big luminescent craters" Kinuyo replied with a laugh, though it sounded like she held back her emotions. "Fluorescent green. Or maybe yellow... If we get the occasion to gain altitude in a mountainous area, we might see Niigata's, or Tokyo's. Kitakyushu's too far for now."

"I don't know how we'll survive with all this dose of radiation when we'll get there. Perhaps they will have fallen to sustainable levels by then."

"You know", the brunette said, "when we'll get to Kumamoto, we will build a house and live there with Alice and your sister, a whole new life, and I will finally have the honour to protect you and your family."

"Yes, and we could meet other survivors with whom we will reform Japan", Miho chuckled. "We'll go to my home first. Maho will probably await me there, and with some luck, it will have survived to the bombs."

"Still, I would love to stay with you, because I have no one left and you're a great friend. No more people from Chihatan are alive or outside the vaults... and I have no more family... I'll have a new one... Merged with Nishizumi and Shimada. Finally, the rivalry between the two styles would no longer matter..."

"I'll tell you something", Miho said. "Alice almost transferred to our school, but at the last moment, she cancelled the process because she wanted to stay as my rival... But do you think it may change, taking the context into account?"

"Of course. I think it will take a while before we can reform tankery. Unless we invent nuclear tanks. In any case, soldiers' duty won't change, and I'll still be able to fulfill mine."

"Yeah", Miho replied. "Duty may not be what matters the most to me, but you will be happy to protect us."

Kinuyo glanced at her closely. She replaced a strand of hair between her companion's ears with a smile, then turned back to the sky.

"We should go to sleep", Kinuyo suggested.

"Yes, Nishi-san, let's go."

"You can call me by my first name, you know. There's no reason you should still call me by my surname, Miho. We're equal now... and we're friends, right?"

Miho was surprised, but nonetheless flattered. Only her close friends called her like this, except Saori saying Miporin and Yukari saying Nishizumi-dono.

"Yeah, we are", the ginger replied, not able to contain the huge grin on her face.

Her friend slept like last night, right behind her. Miho had the reflex to snuggle against her body. She liked the warmth that emanated from it, and it would make her night better. She let herself be smoothly hugged, enjoying it.

"Good night, Kinuyo", she whispered with a smile.

"Sleep tight, Miho."

As she felt her traveling companion slowly dazing off in sleep, Miho took one last look at the stars. Were the vanished souls there?


	9. Chapter 8

**Author's note : Hey here ! This one took a longer time... I'm sorry. On July 29, I had my wisdom teeth pulled out and was a bit tired because of the anesthesia, so I couldn't do much. But now I'm feeling alright, although looking a bit puffy, and I can translate again!**

 **Hope you'll enjoy this chapter, red potato.**

* * *

 _"It's all over, but the crying_  
 _And I can't get over crying over you"_

\- The Ink Spots

* * *

 **PART 3 : CHUUBU**

* * *

Miho was woken up by the emptiness behind her. Suddenly, it was cold. She had felt Kinuyo getting up and going a little further. It was still dark, though the sky was a little lighter. She checked the time on her Pip-Boy: 4:33 AM. The moon was still there. Maybe her friend had just gone to do a number two. But Miho thought it lasted unusually long. She got up, and not far away, she found her crouching, her back turned, and abnormally curled up, almost prostrated.

"Are you okay?" Miho worried.

She realized that her friend was crying. She had never seen her doing it since the death of the other two.

"Miho... I-I dreamed of them... it's.. it's my fault, completely my fault", the girl sobbed. "I killed them... I'm.. a murderer..."

"What are you talking about, you've done nothing wrong!" Miho said. "You just wanted them to feel better when you took them out of the vault."

"I sent them to their deaths. If I hadn't planned this mutiny, Hosomi and Tamada would still be alive. I may have killed others too... when we rose up and escaped the vault... and... oh, Fukuda... she must feel so scared without me..."

"If you hadn't got out, you would have gone crazy, and maybe I would have too because I would have been alone for too long. Some solitude is good, but traveling more than 1000 kilometers without any human contact would make anyone insane. And yet I didn't expect to meet you again."

"If I had prevented Tamada to drink that water, Hosomi would also be still alive, since I would not have sent her to find medicine... I just told her not to drink it, but I didn't even move..."

"You wanted the best for her, Kinuyo... You wanted to help her. Anyone would do it like that. It's not you who wanted her to drink in a toxic puddle."

Her friend stopped sobbing gradually and slightly raised her head.

"Maybe I wanted it, after that..."

"What do you mean?" Miho questioned, astonished.

"Maybe I wanted them to die to prevent them from suffering more", murmured Kinuyo. "I guess it's normal to want someone to die if you just want to protect them... Maybe I wanted Tamada to poison herself and die, so she wouldn't have to endure the harshness of the post-war period, and perhaps I wanted to get rid of Fukuda to avoid having her feeling like a burden and being frightened by everything. And maybe I knew that Hosomi would never come back, and I let her go so she was going to get killed. I sent them to death, Miho. Like in a gigantic battlefield."

Miho stood before her and put her hands on her friend's shoulders, then lifted her head to look directly into her eyes. She kept her normal tone, but wanted her to understand her vision.

"I have to tell you something."

"You're very cute, you know", Kinuyo sighed. "You don't only like a terrible soldier. You like a murderer."

"Kinuyo Nishi. This is in no way your fault if Fukuda couldn't get out. It's just bad luck. In addition, she still has people to look after her. Tamada drank this polluted water willingly and suffered the consequences. It was her own fault if she got sick. Hosomi didn't want to disappoint you. She did it for you and for Tamada. You have nothing to reproach you... it's just life that wanted it."

"Fukuda must have felt so bad when she realized I left her without any word... It's like in these matches, I let myself be fooled due to the majority who wants to do otherwise, I don't listen to my gut... and then I make the biggest mistakes of my life. I abandoned her. If I learned that she had died in the mutiny, I would feel guilty all my life."

"She's safer in the vault than here with us, you know... I just hope she won't lose her mind because of not being allowed to speak. Kinuyo, I know how hard it is, but I don't think Tamada and Hosomi would have wanted you to be so sad. And me too, I don't want to."

Kinuyo couldn't respond. She felt so guilty that she let her tears go on Miho's shoulder. She was pressing her hard against herself. The Oarai captain could even feel her friend's heart which was beating so wildly that it could just make her chest explode. She soon broke down in tears too, from all of these emotions which were contained since too long. She also felt bad for having left her friends, she couldn't deny it. Maybe they wouldn't suffer the same fate as Tamada and Hosomi, but they would know the pain of being left out.  
She hoped soon to find Alice, extremely scared for her. What if she found her long-time decaying body after failing to arrive on time? These thoughts crushed her brain. It was almost giving her a headache. She spent some time there, letting go of her grief with Kinuyo, the one that was getting closer and closer to her.

They once again slept together that night, entwined, comforting each other, close to their Dogmeat who was still deeply sleeping on his side.

Miho was relieved to wake up in Kinuyo's arms, as if she was afraid that the next time she wouldn't be here would end up tragic. Yet her friend was not the type of person to commit suicide: it was quite the opposite!

She opened her eyes a little later. The night had been bad for her, even though it was better from the moment Miho affectionately embraced her. She still had Hosomi and Tamada's dogtags with her. She always kept them with the small improvised urn. Those three things remained close to her body, as if she was afraid someone would take them from her.

"Do you feel better?" Miho murmured.

"Having someone close to you helps a lot", answered Kinuyo.

"Don't worry... We'll go pick up things and try to take your mind off it, okay? I am sure that a hug with Dogmeat could comfort you."

Miho turned her head. The dog was still sleeping. She gently stroked his stomach and began to scratch. He awoke in a small bark of surprise, but nevertheless appreciated the little affection.

"Get up buddy, it's time to go" the ginger girl said.

Dogmeat rose. He turned to Kinuyo and she reached out to pet him. She spent some time gently stroking the dog's fur, then they packed up and went in what was left of the nearby houses.

Here, there wasn't much: if they were situated between two hills, the lack of maintenance made some of the houses start to crumble. Everyone was either dead or in a vault, there was no one to look after the buildings. They found plenty of purified water and to their surprise, iodine tablets. Yet they weren't sure that they needed them. They had the Rad-X in case something happened. It was more effective than these medicines.

After searching for supplies, the two girls and their dog resumed their journey. Where would be the next stop? Anywhere. They had to walk as far as possible. Miho, although she was feeling better and better with Kinuyo, wanted to find Alice before it was too late; she was still, at twelve years old, a little girl. They could have been two sisters. Her companion was right: they would form a small family, ultimately. A quartet counting Maho, and a quintet counting their Dogmeat. Miho wondered if her family's dog had survived the explosion. It was pretty unlikely, but they could have resisted. She could maybe have two pets. But for now, she knew only that she had Dogmeat.

They walked side by side in silence. They were talking a moment ago, then went silent, probably thinking. After all, there was no need to talk to feel the presence of the other and appreciate it. Miho caught herself taking Kinuyo's hand. The latter looked at her and smiled, then looked back to where she was going. Their intertwined fingers were firmly holding each other, as if never to separate. Even silence was enough for them...

They stopped in the evening at what appeared to be a suburb of Nagano. They saw a stream: it was the Shinano River, known here as Chikuma River. They wanted to sleep one more time alongside the lapping of water on the few rocks here and there in the background. Sleeping was always more pleasant next to a river. The sound of the running stream, the fresh smell that emanated from the water, the feels were in no way comparable to the conditions of the vaults, a bed with a hard mattress that was creaking with every movement, cold blankets, not to mention a hypothetical snoring neighbour. Neither one nor the other had that kind of person in the rooms next to theirs, but the soundproofing was bad. The vaults were probably not meant to be luxurious.

They ate canned yakitori this evening. It may not be as good as homemade, but it soothed their stomachs that were hungry after a day of walking.

"Do you know what I wish for?" Kinuyo asked.

"No, tell me", said Miho.

"A good sukiyaki, or something cooked the same way. Haven't eaten a single one since three months. In fact, the last time I tasted it, it was four or five days before the bombing. It's a winter dish, but to me, it can be eaten anytime. I love it too much for restricting myself."

"I know you liked it, you had proposed it as a name for strategic operation."

"True", she chuckled. "But I would give anything to have some... The silly thing is that normally know how to do it, but I don't remember the recipe. I really have problems with instructions..."

"Cooking is hard for me to do as well, don't worry", Miho laughed. "And when it's not me who gives the instructions or the recipe, I get lost pretty quickly too. I totally understand how you feel!"

"It's a good thing you didn't ask me for anything special, it would be a disaster!" Kinuyo giggled. "It's just if I hadn't forgotten to take supplies with me... Thanks God Hosomi reminded me of that. Otherwise I would have gone away without anything to eat or drink and I would have probably ended up starved to death, or poisoned like Tamada was..."

"Once we're at home, it'll be wonderful", Miho said. "I have a feeling we will often have a good laugh. With Alice who will walk around dressed up as Boko, Maho who will wonder in which group her sister fell, Dogmeat who will play and sometimes mess around, and you who will forget and lose a lot of things, I promise you that it will be fun."

"However, I'll guard the house with our dog! Well, joking aside, we need to rest, tomorrow will be hard."

With her fingertip, she gave her a little poke on the cheek to get her attention. Miho turned her head.  
Kinuyo gently pressed her lips against hers, not without putting her hand close to her friend's neck. Miho turned bright red, overwhelmed as never before by a wave of emotions. She didn't think that... seeing her again would start such things. She didn't push her away. For the first time in her life, she didn't want to let go. It was actually the first time she was being kissed.

"Good night, Miho", the brunette murmured, staring at her with these intense eyes.

Miho kissed her back, feeling all of the love in herself. Was that why Kinuyo couldn't stop talking about her to her friends before they met again?

"Good night, Kinuyo, and sleep well", Miho whispered, leaning, like every night, against her warm body, letting her put her arms around her.

The night would be quieter and less stressful now: Miho felt more protected than she was already. Having brought their relationship to a higher level made her feel safer. Kinuyo would never abandon her, that was certain, and would defend her if necessary. Miho could sleep calmed, reassured and loved... The next day would probably be even more exciting that the journey had been until now.

The last thing she saw in her mind before closing her eyes was a firefly, a symbolic one that came gently to land on her heart...


	10. Chapter 9

**Author's note : Hello everybody~! I feel better now. The effects of the surgery have worn off and I'm almost fully recovered. I'll have more energy to translate. I'm currently writing chapter 17 in original version and I'm going to start the translation of chapter 10. Ten chapters, already ? Wow! It's a lot ! Three is probably going to be my longest fic.**

 **Ah, also ! I updated the previous chapters : now, this fic is divided in parts. War Never Changes, Vault 49, Kanto, Chuubu, and there will be the Kansai, Chuugoku, Kyushu and Aftermath parts. Seven parts... Symbolic meaning. Seven, seven... it's like number 3 here. ~ Try to think about it...**

 **Enjoy your reading, red potato.~**

* * *

 _"Love me as though there were no tomorrow_  
 _Take me out of this world tonight_  
 _Take me; make me forget my sorrow_  
 _So when I wake tomorrow, I'll know our love was right"_

\- Nat King Cole

* * *

A little more distance covered each day. It was what Miho said to herself when she spent her days walking. But now she had more than just a traveling companion. That was what gave her even more hope for the journey. Kinuyo had shown her something hard the night before, which had increased her self-confidence. As before, they walked hand in hand on the road, where no car would run; they had no more risk, unlike before the war, of getting eventually run over and killed by a drunk driver. Nobody would, now... They could walk in the middle of the road, something unthinkable three months ago. Dogmeat, a stick between his teeth, was trotting beside them.

Soon, wit no doubt, they would find Alice. They approached Toyama Prefecture: they would be soon done with Nagano Prefecture. How many had they passed through? Ibaraki, Tochigi, Gunma, Nagano. Four. Four prefectures. And how many left? They didn't know. This would depend on the path they would take. They were eager to arrive near the coast. It would be marvellous. In addition, the more they went away from Niigata, the less was the risk of being irradiated in case the urge to dive head first in the sea took over them. It was such a strange feeling to be back at the beach, as if they were on vacation, after the end of the world. They would have all the coastline for themselves, that was certain!

For the moment, they had the mountain landscapes, day and night, before their eyes. But soon it would change. Gradually, as they approached the coast, they were more and more telling themselves they'd do anything to remain on this kind of path. The sound of the sea was more soothing than the rivers'.

When they arrived near Otari, in the Kitaazumi district, Dogmeat suddenly started barking.

"What's wrong, buddy?" Miho questioned.

"Did something just scare him?" Kinuyo asked.

"I don't think so... it looks like he wants to show us something."

The dog kept barking. It seemed like he wanted them to follow him, then stopped in front of an abandoned house and started digging. His two owners joined him. He dug up what looked like a small slab. Miho lifted it.

Inside the small cavity that was protected by small concrete walls, about 50 centimeters deep, there was a pot. It was filled with food and cans of water. Supplies ! Miho was the first to dig into it, trying to see what was there.

"So, what are you finding here?" her partner said, looking interested.

"We have..." Miho began, taking out food from the small reserve. "Rice pots... Three tin cans of miso soup..."

She suddenly smiled.

"Oh, a box of macaroons! I love them!" she said happily, her eyes full of stars. "My mouth is already watering..."

"What else?" Kinuyo asked, curious.

"... A bag of dried sweet potatoes... Kadotani-san, the one who became our Overseer, loved them. She was eating these things all the time. At the same time, I understand her, they taste so good!"

"Not really my cup of tea", the other laughed . "I prefer shrimp puffs."

Miho got out the last cans of food and purified water. She had a little grin and tenderly looked at Kinuyo.

"And then... there's something that will make you happy!"

"Really?" the brunette wondered. "What is it?"

The redhead took out two familiar tins: sukiyaki-like beef.

"Tell me I'm dreaming..." Kinuyo whispered, her eyes opening wider and wider.

She pinched herself to see if it was real, then jumped on Miho, crazily enthusiastic, and kissed her cheek.

"Thank you... Thank you, Miho, you are my lucky charm! It's been such a long time since I wanted to have some again!"

"There are some lucky coincidences", her lover gently said.

"That's right... Let's hope that luck brings us Alice quickly, you'll feel more relaxed."

"Yeah..."

Dogmeat laid his head on their lap and sat down. They petted him. He was so adorable. Miho thought of Yukari, who had a slight crush on her... She had never felt any advances coming from her, but was afraid to spoil their friendship by responding. Yukari would be probably terribly hurt and jealous if she had seen her kissing Kinuyo as she had done several times in the day. It was finally a good thing that she wasn't here... Miho didn't want to hurt her in any way. She had probably already done it by leaving her anyway... But she promised to find her friends again one day.

Kinuyo and Miho got up. They had to find a place to sleep. They quickly closed the small hole, now empty, covered it with some leaves and soil, then went away. The sun was still here, but fatigue was beginning to be felt. They had wanted a moment of tranquility. Walking through the streets of Otari, they saw that some things seemed to have been moved: there was graffiti on the walls. They seemed recent: were there any other vault survivors?

A conversation noise was heard. Dogmeat growled. They listened. Two men, one with a particularly husky voice, as with a scorched throat, were talking. This made them feel pretty uneasy, especially as even their dog didn't have a good feeling.

"Could you find the money?"

"I saw two girls who were stealing our food. They were cute, that's why I didn't do anything... but these bitches preferred kissing each other and going away. Once they'll have found the right guys, they'll stop being dykes. You'll fuck the brunette while the ginger will suck my dick."

"Do you know where they are now?"

Miho didn't take any time to hear the end of their conversation; she grabbed Kinuyo by the arm and immediately pulled her.

"Run away! We will settle further. It's dangerous. I think they're raiders."

"If we get caught, we'll have a bad time", her partner shook. "I'm following you!"

They began to run as fast as they could despite the weight of luggage. Dogmeat followed them, his claws snapping on the asphalt. Who knows what those freaks could do to them? Raping them? Killing them? Torture them? All three? No time to wonder; they were fleeing to the mountains. They took a road that was going up. They would be safe there. The raiders seemed to focus on the remains of the city. There was nothing interesting above. They found themselves near an old house itself next to a small forest area.

Breathless, they let themselves fall into the grass. The dog was panting but seemed to have calmed down. If there was a danger somewhere, he wouldn't think a second before attacking. Miho and Kinuyo trusted their Dogmeat.

The bags seemed to weigh a ton. They landed them heavily, then laid down on their back, until their hearts stopped beating wildly after that moment of panic.

"Now you see part of the reason why I didn't want my friends to follow me in the wasteland", Miho muttered.

"We didn't actually know that it their food... it could simply be someone else's. Someone who left their home for a vault when the alert was given. But the most important thing is that we could find some extra food."

"And even... imagine we would have been starving, there would have been no quarter. In any case, they won't find us here. And if they try anything, Dogmeat will know what to do..."

Kinuyo, having understood what Miho meant, giggled a bit.

"I don't think they'd take such a risk", she said.

"No", the ginger replied. "The kindest ones often become the most violent ones when they're angered..."

"I prefer not to imagine what would happen if Dogmeat had to attack to defend us", Kinuyo laughed.

"We should get up, shouldn't we?" Miho chuckled. "We're laying on the grass..."

"Not a bad idea", the other ended.

They sat up. The world was no longer what it used to be, but the nature was still wonderful. Magnificent. The sunlight still illuminated the lands of Japan. It wasn't too hot: just the right temperature to feel good. In addition, the sky was clear: it was unlikely that it would rain that night. It was one of the best times for a night under the stars, as they did since they both got out of their respective vaults.

"Hey", Miho murmured. "Before I came, did you have someone in your life?"

"Not really. Something happened with Tamada, but it was very short, much like a harmless affair. It lasted like, four, five days? Hosomi didn't even notice it, if you want to know... I think that's partly why her loss has hurt me even more... Don't worry, we weren't to the point of, you know... doing it... but in the end, I felt nothing more than friendly love towards her. And you ?"

"A friend of mine had a crush on me since the beginning", Miho said, smiling. "Yukari Akiyama, the loader of our team. She admired me greatly, respected me more than anyone and I sensed there was something else. But she never tried to actually flirt, probably out of fear of rejection. I wouldn't have been against the idea of being with her, but I was afraid to mess up our friendship if I did. Yukarin was an adorable person, you know. You really would have got along with her."

"Oh", Kinuyo said. "Finally, it seems that we were meant to end up together. Sometimes, life's full of surprises. I knew I was going to leave that prison called Vault 64, but I never expected to find such a person, especially having my life changed by this person herself."

She grabbed Tamada's urn and laid it next to her. Miho remembered when this poor girl had fallen with a thump, dying on the tatami, just in front of the opening that faced the outside, under the stars, after this magic moment with the few fireflies that were here, and had struggled to pronounce her last words, killed by radiation fever... She felt her throat tightening. She didn't have enough time to get to know her more and she regretted it.

Kinuyo squeezed her gently and gave her a small, quick kiss near the lips. Miho was starting to feel hungry: she knew very well what would please her partner.

"Sukiyaki beef tonight?" Miho said, smiling.

"With pleasure!" her girlfriend replied enthusiastically.

They prepared the dinner together, not without sometimes saying unbelievable nonsense that made them burst out laughing. Macaroons would be for the next day. Kinuyo was so eager to eat sukiyaki that she was terribly excited. When she was served, she almost pounced on the food as if she was starving: she had missed this dish so much that she was savouring it as much as possible. Miho loved it too, but preferred canned yakitori. It was the first time they enjoyed a meal so much since the bombings. Even the rice wasn't giving them the same effect.

Dogmeat, probably for the first time since long too, had dog food. He seemed to prefer corned-beef, but he was always happy to receive his food ration. He wasn't asking for much: love and food. He was loyal to Miho and Kinuyo, as if he had finally adopted them.

Tonight, the grass was their only mattress ; they had no desire to move from this place. It was only for one night, but it was almost like their house now. They didn't even need their blanket: the temperature was sufficient to allow them to sleep just lying on the grass and earth, that was both hard and soft at the same time. Looked after by the moon, they relaxed and were able to feel serene. The reassuring scents of nature they loved so much allowed them to sink into sleep soon...


	11. Chapter 10

**Author's note : Hello you all ! I hope you're all feelin' good. It's so hot there... That's why I take long to translate. Writing original version is already hard, but it's even harder when it's too hot. Ah, 10 chapters posted already... hold on, I'll translate the 11th chapter.**

 **Enjoy this one.**

* * *

 _"Let's ride into the sunset together_  
 _Stirrup to stirrup, side by side_  
 _When the day is through, I'll be here with you_  
 _Into the sunset we will ride"_  
\- Don Burnham and Patty Kistner

* * *

Miho suddenly opened her eyes. She was saved. Nobody had attacked them, despite the terrible nightmare that she had in the last part of the night, although the first part was pleasant. She envied Kinuyo, who hadn't raised an eyelash in her sleep and had remained in the same position. Miho had dreamed of these bad guys... She didn't see their faces, but their voices were enough to scare her. In her nightmare, they chased them and found them wherever they tried to flee. It was so scary that she was still trembling a bit.

The redhead gently stroked her partner's hair. She had barely woken up. She looked at her, still a little sleepy. Miho leaned over and kissed her softly. Kinuyo smiled, loving these quiet mornings.

"Did you sleep well, Miho?" she said, still a bit numb.

"I had a nightmare because of the raiders yesterday, but otherwise I've been fine", the short-haired answered.

"Oh... I see. I haven't dreamed for a while."

Kinuyo rose. She startled slightly and put a hand on her lower back, grimacing in pain.

"Ow... I think I strained a muscle last evening... Well, I won't lie, I didn't notice it right away... I think it was the weight of the bag when we ran and stopped here."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Miho worried.

"Yes... don't worry, dear. My back is just a bit sore, but I can still carry the bag."

Dogmeat got up too and barked as if to say hello. Miho fed him with a can of dog food. He enjoyed his meal again, as if he could do it all his life. He always had a joyful expression when he licked his lips after eating and watched his two owners, his tongue sticking out, with his sparkly black eyes. Kinuyo petted his head.

After a quick breakfast, they resumed their journey. How long had it been since they were on the path to Kumamoto? Two weeks? They hadn't thought of counting the days. What mattered to them was to arrive in one piece there and find little Alice. Knowing how many days they had spent walking across the country didn't really interest them, even if it would be a great story to tell.

Miho sometimes imagined herself decades later, as an elderly woman, telling her grandchildren about her adventures with Kinuyo, then with Alice and Maho in a world where three atomic bombs had been dropped. That made her smile. She could tell all of her stories, from the most improbable and funny moments to the most delicate or emotional. It would be a wonderful experience. Maho also could be there, and Alice would probably be a very nice old lady. There would be Granny Miho, Granny Kinuyo, Granny-Auntie Maho and Granny Alice.

Miho laughed. Her lover looked at her, both surprised and amused.

"Uh ?" she said with a smile.

"Nothing to worry about, I was just imagining how it would be like when we'll get old... we could tell our adventures to our grandchildren!"

"I'd be happy to adopt children with you", the brunette replied. "I would teach them how to be a good soldier as you'll teach them tankery. Obviously, we would work together!"

"I can't help but imagine how funny it would be", laughed Miho. "We'd be two moms..."

"Little family", said Kinuyo. "Atypical, but still a family. We could even associate our schools It'd be no more Oarai and Chihatan, but Ohatan, Chiharai, or just Oarai-Chihatan. We'd always be allied in battle, even friendly ones!"

"Well, one day our Dogmeat won't be here anymore, but he will stay into our memory", Miho replied. "We'll tell the best moments with him..."

They continued to walk. They were heading north, still trying to avoid the Niigata zone. Its prefecture was one of the largest ones in Honshu: if they passed in it, they weren't necessarily going into the most irradiated area. But they would be more careful. The closer they were getting to Niigata, the more dangerous it was getting. They weren't going to go there, it wasn't on their way, but they would certainly find themselves near the hazardous zone. The worst would be Kitakyushu. Even if it meant taking a longer time to arrive in Kumamoto, they would avoid it as much as they could. But there was probably there about the same dose as where her journey began: the distance between Kitakyushu and Kumamoto was roughly the same that was between Tokyo and Oarai. The radiation would be at an acceptable level: by cons, they had to find a way to purify water so they wouldn't poison themselves. But maybe the radiation, with time, would drop to non-toxic levels.

Kinuyo put her arm around Miho's shoulder while they were still walking. The redhead had found the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, even if they only had spent some days together. It just felt right. What she didn't imagine, though, is that this person would be the commander of Chihatan. She always thought it would be her mother who would find her a husband, or she would meet a man or a woman who was as rich as her family. But as far as she knew, she couldn't marry a woman, unfortunately. But her newly-found life partner was likely from middle class and she had found her on a stroke of luck. Life was strange. She never imagined, when she was little and she made up stories with Maho, that her fate would change drastically when three bombs would be dropped on the country. She never imagined that she would know the survival in the wild. She never imagined that one day she wouldn't be able to do tankery anymore. She never imagined that she would have such good and faithful friends and that she would leave them to find her family. She never imagined that she would find love at the same time and that her pet would be a simple stray mutt. But even if her life was full of surprises, she loved it, even if it was getting difficult...

The journey to Kumamoto would be the longest journey of her life. And yet, she hadn't even done the half of it. The map on her Pip-Boy showed her that there was still a huge part of road to do. She would follow roads and paths until she would get home. Walking from Oarai to Kumamoto was an experience that was certainly tiring, but allowed her to see new horizons. She hard a hard time believing she actually would go from the Pacific Coast to Sea of Japan coast. She had crossed the country in width already!

They came in an area that made them think that they would soon see the sea. The mountains were less and less close to each other. They were in a small valley. A river flowed there: it was the Hime river, a small stream. They were in Itoigawa: a coastal town! They accelerated their pace. The sea wasn't far away! The girls walked as much as possible, a bit faster than they did, to feel the smell of the sea air and hear the waves that came to die on the beach at least once again, not to mention the feeling of the sea spray on their skin. Everything was beautiful in the sea landscapes, the lights, the shapes... they missed them a lot.

And finally, when they had arrived near the coast, their happiness began to climb. Miho and Kinuyo had the reflex to hide their luggage and start running on the beach. Dogmeat happily followed them as they shouted in joy, stopping just above the water to admire its beauty. They started looking to find something to make a camp, not wanting in any case go into abandoned buildings. The tide wouldn't probably rise too much, but as a precaution, they went into the higher places while being near the sea. It was a sign that their trip was taking a turn. They would go on the coast as much as possible. There may be times when they would go back to the land, but most of the time, they would be walking on the beach. Dogmeat would enjoy himself more with the waves and seaweed, and maybe some seagulls.

A shiny object caught Miho's attention in a sort of terrier. It was a camera ; a Polaroid instant camera, even! But what was it doing there?

"Kinuyo! I found something, come here!"

"Oh, what is it?"

The brunette, seeing it, was impressed.

"A camera ? Great! We're going to keep memories of our trip! In addition, no need to develop the photos, they will be already here! I just hope there are some remaining..."

Miho opened the small thing.

"There are 8 or 9 photos remaining. Perfectly fine. Can we take one or two?"

"Yeah, of course!" Kinuyo said, enthusiastic.

They sat by the sea. Miho turned the camera. Her partner kissed her on the cheek when she took the photo, which came out almost instantly. The redhead girl shook the paper : she had just captured one of the best things in her life. She glanced at the dog.

"Dogmeat, come here buddy!"

He lifted his furry head and came. Miho took a second picture of them, but this time with their beloved dog. Two moments immortalized now.

"Teramoto would have been delighted", Kinuyo smiled. "She loved photography. Her favorite subjects were Ikeda and Nagura, though. She took pictures of me only once or twice... She had one of Hosomi and Tamada and another of Fukuda... Too bad I didn't ask her to have them before leaving. I never imagined that all of this would happen."

"Don't worry, they're photographed in your mind", Miho comforted her. "They will always be in your heart..."

"Yes", her girlfriend replied. "They're still here, somewhere... I wonder if their spirits hear us."

"Certainly", Miho said. "They watch over us..."

"Tell me", Kinuyo began, "how was your sister when you were little? In battle, she struck me as an extremely serious person."

"She was very nice, she loved to play with me", Miho told. "But she's still kind, even if she doesn't appear to be. It was her who got me out of this bad situation in which I was put with my family because I had my own way of doing tankery. She even encouraged me to continue in my own direction. Yet when she was with my mother, she remained impassive."

"I'm an only child on my side", the brunette replied. "My parents tried to conceive another child when I was little, but it resulted in a miscarriage. I wonder what it's like to have a brother or sister."

"Maho is a year older than me. When I was born, she was a little jealous, it's normal for children of this age... but soon, she greatly appreciated my presence and became my best playmate... and we also did a lot of silly things, as pouring the entire content of a bottle of shampoo in the tub before putting in all the towels and then filling the tub with water, and make the bathroom look like an Olympic pool. We were both punished, but we laughed so much this day."

Kinuyo giggled and looked at her with a tender grin.

"You must have been so cute as a child... Well, for my part, in terms of messing around... I was pretty good as a little girl, but once I got bored and I broke a door handle after pressing on it many, many times, like an idiot, and then I started to throw it around and I broke a window. When you are little, you're silly."

"Alice is like a little sister to me", muttered Miho. "That's how I feel about her. She's only 12, you know... I have a lot of trouble believing that she even skipped the junior years. She wanted to go to high school, I wonder if she could. University was already a huge thing for a little one of this age."

"I'd like to know her a little more", Kinuyo replied. "She seems shy, though... I hope I will not scare her away. You're much softer compared to me."

"Don't worry, she is very shy at first, then she gradually opens up. It needs a little time and she'll come to you. Perhaps she'll appreciate you from the very beginning. Don't be abrupt and let things happen, even if you're not the most patient one."

"I'll do", the brunette accepted. "And even if she doesn't like me, I will protect her as well as you."

Miho thought of little Alice, who was still so far away... When would she find her?


	12. Chapter 11

**Author's note : Heyo here !~ How are you feelin' today? This one came quicker... I had more time to translate it, and the weather wasn't too hot, so I could work. I'm glad you all follow my story. It means a lot to me. Thanks again and again...**

 **Enjoy this chapter, my red potatoes.~**

* * *

 _"Somewhere beyond the sea_  
 _She's there watching for me_  
 _If I could fly like birds on high_  
 _Then straight to her arms_  
 _I'd go sailing"_

\- Bobby Darin

* * *

Waking up next to the sea after a long romantic night on the beach was one of the most beautiful experiences Miho had ever lived. The sound of some birds that survived the apocalypse, the sound of waves who shattered themselves on the rocks, all of this gently woke her up. Kinuyo was by her side, looking at the horizon. She was petting Dogmeat, who laid down on the ground near her. Miho let her head fall on her girlfriend's shoulder. They could stay here forever, admiring the maritime beauty that drew itself before their eyes...  
The sun's glints appeared as bright spots on the blue sea that reflected the sky. The white foam soaked the sand, dancing with the waves, singing its sweet melody. The shadows of the moving water added shades of green, teal and blue to its paint. The sand took a darker shade whe the dying waves passed on it.

Walking on the coast was such a relaxing thing... Miho felt less tense than in the mountain roads. Here, she didn't care about wild animals or raiders. Maybe two or three mutant creatures would wander around, nothing especially dangerous. Kinuyo looked around from time to time to ensure that there was no risk and that Dogmeat was still following them. He trotted behind them, still as playful as usual. The short-haired girl thought her calm would be eternal... when something hit her.

Kinuyo had thrown a handful of wet sand on her. Miho, taking part in the game, threw one on her too. This turned into a battle of sand balls: it was still a little different from snowballs in the winter! They went through meters and meters, throwing sand at each other without any specific reason. All they knew was that they were laughing out loud and they enjoyed themselves.  
Dogmeat brought them a piece of driftwood. His two owners stopped throwing sand balls at each other and Miho threw the stick. They had fun and were still advancing on their journey : it was what they considered a good life. Alice and Maho were still missing, but once they would have found them, they'd feel complete. If Hosomi and Tamada were here, it would be even better. Fukuda would have liked this too. They could have wandered in the wasteland as a group, although it would have got exhausting after a while. But Miho and Kinuyo were already feeling well with each other.

They saw something. Not far away, there was a Shinkansen railway. No more trains would pass here, though.

"Come on, let's walk on the tracks", the brunette said. "There's no danger anymore."

"I always wanted to do that", Miho replied, her eyes shining.

Both girls went on the tracks. They walked close to one another, holding each other, one hand on the waist, the other on the shoulder. Dogmeat, as always, followed them here. He wagged his tail while sniffing around. The smell of the trains that used to pass here, with no doubt, were familiar to him. He pranced around them, curious.

"Miho, do you think would have been different if our respective friends had come? If you had yours, and I had mine..."

"We would have been ten", her partner replied. "We were five in my team... There was me, Yukari, Hana, Mako and Saori. Difficult to watch over four people at a time..."

"With Tamada, Hosomi, Fukuda and I, we would have been nine. I was not especially friendly with the girls that were in my team... I liked them, but my best friends were two tank commanders... life's so strange. And Fukuda, who came later, was also a tank commander. It seems I'm destined for tank commanders."

"You know, when I arrived in Oarai, it was Saori and Hana who went to greet me first", Miho replied. "I had trouble believing people could actually be that friendly at first... Then Yukari, who was admiring me a lot, joined us, and then, after failing to crush her with our Panzer, Mako came too..."

"When I was transferred to Chihatan after middle school, I was already friends with them, except for Fukuda. But why is your sister in Kuromorimine?"

"I tried to escape tankery as much as I could", the ginger captain murmured. "I had a very bad experience with tanks... it filled me with fear and an overwhelming guilt."

"Do you want to... tell me what happened?" Kinuyo said, a sorry look in her eyes. "Let's lay here... "

She bent down and laid down on the tracks. She let out a sigh of relaxation and closed her eyes. Miho looked at her, feeling a still heavy heart at the thought of talking about her trauma.

"Kuromorimine was winning all of the National Tournaments since 9 years. And this year, something went wrong", she told. "One of the tanks, a Pz. III, slipped and fell into a river. I knew the commander... Her name was Koume Akaboshi. And even... I wouldn't have let anyone die. She nearly drowned... Without even thinking, I got off my tank, I dove and I opened the hatch. All the crew was able to get out. But my tank was shot by Pravda, and my school lost... I was operating the flag tank."

"You were a hero", Kinuyo murmured. "It's beautiful, and especially honourable of you. You saved her life... she will always remember you as the one that allowed her to live, even if it meant losing the tournament. You have so much humanity in you, Miho..."

"The problem is that I was blamed for the defeat, for breaking that victory chain, and prevented Kuromorimine to have one tenth. I was so scared for them... I started to run out of air when I opened the hatch. I almost drowned with them... This trauma followed me for a long time. I never wanted to touch a tank again."

"Why did you come to Oarai then?"

"It was the only school that no longer practiced tankery", explained Miho. "But at the last moment, the President, or rather our Overseer now, forced me to take this option because it had just been brought back and I had experience. I had a terrible time... but I quickly took my ease again because I had my friends."

"It must have been horrible for you", her lover replied, surprised. "Before the apocalypse, I never had a true traumatic experience... I've lived through things that left me quite upset, but that was all. I just hope it wasn't too difficult to overcome."

"Don't worry Kinuyo, I'm feeling better now, and you help a lot by being here", Miho smiled. "Well, can we resume our journey now?"

"Oh, not now", the long-haired girl said. "I could stay here forever..."

"True", Miho replied. "It just feels so good to be here..."

They went away later. They walked down the railway and continued on the beach. The sun was still there; for a summer, it fortunately wasn't too hot. Alice was probably no more very far. They went from the dreaded Niigata Prefecture to Toyama Prefecture. Evey single kilometer they traveled were making them closer to the ones they searched for, closer to Kumamoto and closer to Miho's home.  
If Shiho Nishizumi was still alive, how would she react to her daughter's relationship with Kinuyo? Maho would probably protect her again. She wanted the well-being of her sister first. She wouldn't want Miho to be disowned because she had a same-sex relationship. It was worse than to be disinherited for a simple matter of tankery tradition. She hoped Chiyo Shimada would be alive, so Alice could still find her mother.  
Some schools were likely destroyed to the core by the three bombings in these three prefectures. Viggen High School, the Swedish-themed one, had probably been swept away and devastated by the Niigata bomb, being based here. St. Gloriana was probably struggling to survive, being very close to Tokyo, but was probably in the same condition as Chihatan: the vault was likely under the earth base of the school. Pravda was probably not greatly affected, being located in Aomori.

Kinuyo suddenly stopped walking, hid the bags in a bush, then told Miho to do the same. She did it, even though she wasn't clearly understanding what was happening. To locate it, the brunette drew roughly Chihatan's emblem on the sand and began to undress, only keeping her underwear on. Again, she pointed to her partner to do the same. Miho was a bit torn between two things about what were her girlfriend's intentions : was it a naughty desire or something else? It was actually not for some horizontal dancing: Kinuyo grabbed her and pulled her before pushing her into the water. Miho barely had time to realize that she was almost naked first, then suddenly soaked with seawater.

Kinuyo threw herself into the sea by her side. Dogmeat soon followed her: overjoyed to be able to have fun again, he jumped himself into the water : he swam around the two girls. His expression, his little dog tongue and this look in his eyes were hilarious. Miho couldn't help but start laughing. Kinuyo already did before her. She began to splash her girlfriend, who directly riposted. After sand, it was salt water that they were throwing at each other. Sometimes they threw a bit of it on their god, who quickly shook his head and made a small sound, as if he feigned anger.  
Miho had the idea to do a little trick: go underwater to grab the long-haired girl by the waist: she had a start, but quickly realized that the presence was that of her loved one. She returned this little joke: Miho caught her before she did. Their hair was soaked in the salty seawater, their eyes were burning, but they had fun like crazy. It was something they hadn't done for a long time. Moreover, this part of the sea had probably little risk of being contaminated: they were far from the Niigata area. Maybe there would be some radiation in the water, but the current would carry them off quickly. There certainly wasn't enough of it to kill them, anyway. If they had to die, they would die happy.

They played and messed around for about an hour in this sea they wanted to feel caressing their skin again. Old nursery rhymes or just sea shanties returned in their head; when they came out of the water to get dressed and get their stuff back, they began to sing loudly, as if to give the finger to anyone who would be watching them and wondering if they were sane, or those who would get a big fat eyeful at their young bodies.  
Dogmeat, after he snorted, almost looked like a giant sea urchin: it caused both girls a huge burst of laughing for twenty minutes. Since they had arrived on the coast, they were completely relaxed, even up to do things they would never have thought of doing after the end of the world. Finally, that apocalypse wasnt the end of their world. It was only the end of _a_ world, not of the world itself.

In the evening, they arrived in the small town of Kurobe. They were finally in Toyama Prefecture! More reassured than ever, they looked for a place to sleep that night. They went back to the beaches, still wanting to get closer to their beloved sea. But it seemed like they weren't alone... Kinuyo noticed a person sitting farther and tapped her lover's shoulder.

"Hey... Isn't she...?"

Miho turned her head. It was a little girl, who looked maybe twelve years old, with light blonde hair, wearing a black ribbon in it... also with her normal clothes and carrying a backpack. She seemed to look tirelessly at the infinity of the sea...

Miho couldn't help but yelled :

"Alice! It's me!"

The girl turned around and started to run towards her... in a moment full of emotions.


	13. Chapter 12

**Author's note : Hey here ! I'm so sorry this took so long... Hot weather doesn't help. Didn't have much time either. I'll try to release Chapter 13 before school starts again (on September 5), but it's unlikely I'll be able to do so. I'll try, though. Because I sometimes think I take too much time to translate my chapters... I shall stop writing original version for now and translating chapters 13 to 26 instead.**  
 **Anyway, enjoy your reading.~**

* * *

 _"The roads are the dustiest, the winds are the gustiest_  
 _The gates are the rustiest, the pies are the crustiest_  
 _The songs the lustiest, the friends the trustiest_  
 _Way back home..."_

 _\- Bob Crosby_

* * *

"Alice! Oh, Alice, you're finally here! I was so worried that we wouldn't find you in time!"

Miho tightly hugged the little girl, a big smile on her lips. Kinuyo, who was standing behind, felt the emotion that came from the reunion: she simply watched them, a reassured look in her deep brown eyes.

"It's been a week and a half since I left Vault 54", Alice whispered. "I was selected to go."

"Selected to go?" Miho asked, astonished.

"Our vault was performing an experiment on us... Each month, one of us was designated to go out, then go back to the vault at the end of the month. I'll never come back there."

"Weird", Kinuyo said. "I'm not sure people will come back in this kind of place. They'll be either dead, captured, or they'll have escaped like you."

"I'm so happy to have found you", the ginger said. "You can't imagine how worried I've been..."

"Why is she with you?" Alice questioned, turning her gaze to Kinuyo. "What is she doing there?"

The brunette had a little start. Miho replied, a bit uneasy.

"Well", she explained, "I met her on the way, and she has no more home... She lost her home and her family, so she decided to follow me, that's all. This is Kinuyo Nishi, the commander of Chihatan. You remember, she was part of my team when we fought against yours."

"Ah, yes", Alice let out. "I remember her. That girl who had trouble containing her troops..."

Kinuyo smiled, although she felt that the little girl was a bit confused. She couldn't expect to find Miho with someone else, especially in a relationship with this one... It was probably a matter of time. She decided to go herself to the girl.

"Come on", she spoke softly, "if you want, we can talk a bit. I'm not going to harm you."

Alice didn't answer. She blushed, looked down and hid behind Miho, who looked at her girlfriend with an embarrassed look. Kinuyo, which wasn't resentful, didn't mind. She though she would communicate with her later, simply.

A joyful barking sounded. Miho turned.

"Oh, let me introduce you to Dogmeat! He's our dog. He followed us for a long time."

"How have you found him?" Alice asked. "You brought him from one of your vaults?"

"No", Miho said. "We were eating one evening and he was under a bush. We shared our food with him. Then he never left us. You'll see, he's very nice. He never misses an opportunity to have fun."

"Hello, you", whispered the little girl while gently petting the dog.

Dogmeat started licking her face. Alice laughed softly. She was beginning to like the animal.

"He's ours, so he's yours too", Kinuyo said. "Glad you love him already... You'll see. He's a very funny little guy. You'll surely laugh a lot. How many times we could have a good laugh because of his tricks..."

"Reunion gift", Miho happily said.r

"Thank you", Alice whispered. "He is adorable."

She continued to cuddle him. His eyes sparkled with joy as he got even happier.

"Are we still going to Kumamoto?" the little girl asked while getting up.

"Yeah", Miho replied. "Come on, time to hit the road. You can tell me what happened during this time, I will tell you what happened to Kinuyo and I."

"You're calling her by her first name?" Alice wondered.

"Yes.. to tell everything, she's way more than just a friend..." the ginger softly whispered, tenderly looking at her partner with a little wink before taking her hand and starting to walk.

Her girlfriend returned the gesture with a smile. Alice was a little surprised, but didn't seem to feel bad either. It was only her shyness that was taking over her. She turned to the dog and petted his head. They were three again... Three girls in an apocalyptic world which saw three bombs falling on it.

Miho felt now almost complete. Only Maho was still missing. It was already a great thing to have found the little girl. She no longer could spend hours wondering if she would find Alice safe and sound. Fate had turned in her favour until now: she had only to expect that it would be with her until the end. Maho had to be alive; if she was dead before she could find her, it would be even worse than the loss of Alice or even Kinuyo...

They walked on the beach. The blonde girl was playing with Dogmeat, who couldn't stop following her. The two lovers held hands and walked by. Everything was more relaxed than it already was, despite the little one's shyness which prevented her from communicating with Kinuyo. Yet the latter, inside herself, was a little afraid that there would be a problem, fearing she had been too brutal because of the excitment at the thought of meeting her. But she thought it was only a matter of time... after all, she had done nothing wrong. She wanted to try to relax the atmosphere a little more, but was afraid to scare Alice even more. She therefore refrained from throwing a joke.

They came to Toyama. The capital of the prefecture that relieved the couple. They were almost at the half of their journey. They would soon arrive near Fukui, from where Alice went. When it wasn't possible to walk on the beach, they went on to the nearest road to the sea so they could still admire the infinite azure water. That was the longest walk Miho and Kinuyo did in a day: although it was still daytime, they warned the little girl that they would stop for the night. They had traveled twice the distance what they usually did: their exhausted bodies needed a rest. For Alice, it was also a great opportunity to regain strength: she had walked from Takaoka after a night spent alone. Miho shivered at the idea of imagining her isolated in the dark, with no one to comfort her and keep her company. It would no longer be the case now; she would be with them and no one would ever abandon her.

While Miho went further to make some fire, Kinuyo sat with Alice and tried to speak to her, only to get monosyllabic answers. The ginger came with rice. The rations were slightly smaller, however. Dinner time went good, even though the younger girl didn't talk much. She wasn't only intimidated, but also tired: she went straight to bed after dinner.  
Miho understood how she was confused and possibly upset. She had walked alone for week and a half to find someone she had promised to meet again. That was already a moment full of emotions, but she found this person with someone she didn't expect to suddenly have to live with. It was making things a little more difficult, and in addition, the Chihatan captain was someone who had a slight tendency to go too fast. She was trying to contain her enthusiasm. Miho couldn't blame her girlfriend. It was her nature. Quieter and much calmer than her late friends, but with this little impulsive side that sometimes put her in delicate situations.

Alice, at bedtime, called Miho. It had been so long since she was waiting for her friend to tuck her. The Oarai captain grabbed the blanket: her partner was sitting next to her, watching the little girl. Dogmeat naturally came to lie next to the child. She smiled and put a harm around his canine body.

"Alright, do you feel warm enough?" Miho whispered.

"I'm feeling fine, thanks. If I was cold, I would have used the vault jumpsuit to feel a little warmer anyway. Good night, Miho."

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to wake me up", the ginger told. "We'll stay up for a while, so if you want to come at any moment, you can."

"No, thank you, I'm really tired", Alice whispered. "Good night."

Kinuyo, despite her fear of being too abrupt, carefully went to her.

"Sweet dreams", she softly whispered.

Alice didn't answer, but smiled. Kinuyo took that as a positive response. When Miho got up, they walked away and sat down near the small campfire that was used to cook. They were snuggling against each other, as usual. The brunette sighed, looking a bit lost.

"Tell me", she said, "do you think Alice doesn't like me?"

"I think she was just a little afraid, I told you she was shy", Miho replied. "You don't have to stress out about this. I think she wouldn't have smiled if she didn't like you. You're putting the cart before the horse... I see that you're holding back, but be careful anyway. Give her time, I've told you..."

"Huh... I may have been a little abrupt, it's true. I talked to her a little too quickly. But I was so excited to meet her, I was curious to know her, and I thought I was going to love her a lot too."

"She is very cute. It can be felt that she's still a child... Yeah, it feels like she's a bit like a little sister. She is the little sister I never had, and somehow will also be yours... because you couldn't have any sibling."

"Yes, I feel her innocence is still here", Kinuyo said. "She looks so nice that people could easily take advantage of her... She is the daughter of the head of Shimada style, if I remember..."

Miho nodded.

"I don't know Chiyo Shimada, but I heard she was willing to destroy my mother's style. After all, she's her rival... As long as she doesn't try to destroy mine, I'll remain peaceful if ever I were to fight again against University."

"To be honest, I just find it disrespectful from her... Why doesn't she just want to defeat your mother instead of putting all her strength in it to the point of destroying her style? Here, we may have not agreed with the style of some schools and we never sought to make them disappear. We fight them, we never surrender, but we're not going to try to kill their style."

"I don't know why she's like this... It's a world that is unknown to me, you know", Miho sighed. I think we shall not think too much about it..."

"You're right. All we know is that it will take time for this little Alice to open up... Looks like she already loves Dogmeat."

"Alice loves animals. It's mutual. They feel she's nice. I think they know when the human in front of them is hostile or isn't... Look how he reacted when we were getting close to the raiders. He sensed danger and snarled to warn us."

"Yeah", Kinuyo replied.

"You know, I'd give anything to make her love you, so we could form a little family for us all", Miho muttered. "I would, ideally, want us to arrive at Kumamoto safe and sound with our Dogmeat, find Maho, and finally live a normal life like we used to... It will be our new existence. Our rebirth."

"You're right, my Miho..."

Kinuyo gently stroked her cheek, then glanced at her lips before looking back at her eyes. They exchanged a long kiss here, far from everything, with their dog and their little Alice who was asleep. Miho kissed her again, feeling so emotional everytime she was doing it.

"Well, dear, let's head to bed? On the road again tomorrow... don't forget", Kinuyo whispered, still caressing Miho's ginger hair.

"Yeah, come here."

A bit of sea water put the small fire out. When Miho laid in the embrace of her beloved Kinuyo, she glanced at the sky. She spotted three stars... Two were closer to one another, and a third was glowing as much as the amount of light the other two were making. A shooting star passed near them. Smiling, she closed her eyes, ready to begin a new day...


	14. Chapter 13

**Author's note : Heyo! How are you doing today, red potatoes? I hope you're ready for a new chapter. I finally could finish translating this one before school begins for me. I'll continue writing, even if I won't have much time to do so. Three is going well, I've got plenty of ideas.**

 **Enjoy this chapter !**

* * *

 _"I'd sacrifice anything come what might for the sake of having you near_  
 _In spite of a warning voice that comes in the night and repeats_  
 _Repeats in my ear"_

 _\- Frank Sinatra_

* * *

Alice threw the stick. Dogmeat brought it back quickly. Another time: he brought it back again and again until he jumped on her and covered her in licks. They got along so well. Miho watched them play. Kinuyo made sure they forgot nothing during this time. Their road was still long... They left as soon as they were ready.

When they walked side by side, Alice remained near Miho, who was holding Kinuyo's hand. Dogmeat, now, instead of wandering as he did, tended to stay close to the little girl, as if he considered her as his true owner. He was still interested in the other two, but since the blonde girl had come, he couldn't go away from her. It was as if they always knew each other, but Alice had no dog before the bombings. They were forming a great pair. Finally, their small group was split in two: a couple on one side, a girl and her dog on the other. Yet Alice and Miho had some contact. It was simply different.

The sky was slightly cloudy. These sunny days faded gradually, giving way to gray clouds. After all, to have a rainbow in the sky, one needed a bit of rain... and of sun. Since immemorial times, these two states followed each other. The weather would be nice again soon. Time just had to pass. This would be less convenient for walking outside, but they would find a shelter until the rain would stop. The rain was perhaps still radioactive. Even bathing in the sea seemed less dangerous. It wasn't known from where were the cumulonimbus that were advancing slowly in the sky, after all: were they coming from Tokyo, Kitakyushu or Niigata, the three cities we could call now call craters? Three craters, two on Honshu and one on Kyushu?

They decided to walk until the night would come, this time. This restful night had brought them enough energy to do so. Their minds would succeed in pushing their bodies to move forward, always forward, to be as soon as possible in Kumamoto. Finding Maho was their last goal, with surviving until the end. Miho, day by day, felt the desire to see her sister grow stronger and stronger. Knowing each meter was making her closer to her family was making her even more enthusiastic. Besides, she had Kinuyo and Alice, nothing could really impress her anymore. She would find her sister no matter what.

Toyama was more abandoned than devastated. Vegetation had suffered from radiation. The radioactive rain had damaged it. It must have rained several times since these three months. It was sure. After all, why wouldn't small drizzles fall during such a period of time? As elsewhere in Japan, there was no one except maybe a few groups of raiders. Which school was in Toyama Prefecture, anyway? Miho didn't remember that there was one... Anyway, there were two vaults in the same town ; they saw signs that led to Vault 31 and Vault 78. How were these fallout shelters numbered? So many questions about the new environment around them...

Dogmeat suddenly began running in circles, as if he found something. He grabbed Alice's sleeve with his fangs and began to pull her. Kinuyo and Miho followed him. He had seen a box. On it, there was a cartoon figure that seemed familiar to the little girl and the ginger... It was Boko! Was there a stuffed toy of this little bear in this box?

Miho remembered she had a small knife in the bag. She reached in and tore off the tape that held the sides of the box. Inside, there was a small Boko plushie, the most common, approximately fifteen centimeters tall. The Oarai captain smiled and petted Dogmeat, then looked at Alice.

"He knew you liked Boko", Miho quietly said.

She handed her the teddy. The little girl's face suddenly went brighter. She grabbed the toy in her hands, stroked it, and approached Miho.

"Thank you", whispered the girl. "I thought I would never see Boko again..."

"Mine were likely destroyed in the explosion. I'm glad you could find one here..."

"We may find another one elsewhere", Kinuyo said softly. "I'm pretty sure there are other ones that survived the apocalypse, especially when they're in areas who were depleted from their population to protect them from the fallout. Don't worry about that."

"True", Miho replied. "I may have wanted to cuddle my Bokos once again, but for me what matters the most is to have my darling and my little Alice with me, and to find Maho soon."

Alice seemed appeased by what her friend said. Kinuyo stroked Miho's cheek with one finger and looked at her in a way that revealed everything. She smiled and gave her a kiss. Dogmeat was peacefully remaining here, as waiting for something. The little girl gave him a huge hug. She hugged his canine body and dove her nose in his fur, while never ceasing to thank him. It was very touching: one could feel how much that animal was meaning to Alice, even just after meeting him. A very strong connection between the two was growing...

They resumed their journey in a more relaxed atmosphere. For the child, it was really something that motivated her even more. Not only she would be with Miho, but in addition, she could start looking for other Bokos! It would be a wonderful opportunity to revive Boko museum elsewhere. Find the last ones that remain to preservate them... Also, she could make this project work out with Miho! But what place would Kinuyo have, knowing she wasn't particularly fond of these little bears? Alice said that it might not really be good if she was the only one out of it. Nobody liked to be left out. She felt a little uncomfortable, but she didn't want her to be excluded either.

Kinuyo glanced at the little girl and she felt tremendous pressure inside herself. Although Miho told her Alice wasn't hating her, she struggled to give her time, too eager to get to know her. Deep inside herself, she was asking for answers to this question that was torturing her mind. Why was Alice so cold, although she didn't hate her? She wanted to ask her late friends, this time. Miho knew the blonde girl a little better, but had a different place in her life.  
Her heart wrenched when she thought back to Hosomi and Tamada. She wanted to stop thinking about them and move on with her life, but thought about them constantly. She was mourning them... but... how could she get out of that mess? In any case, she knew Miho played a big role in her recovery from her friends' deaths... One would probably find her body hanged to a tree if her girlfriend hadn't been there...

The Oarai captain felt the inner distress of her partner. She wanted to help her so badly, but knew that the only way for someone to get out of the grip of grief was to let time pass... The love she felt for her deepened her these feelings of helplessness, these who were hurting her inside, but which were relieved by the hope of finding Maho... she also felt Kinuyo's hope to spend her life with her. Basically, they were almost in the same state of mourning.  
Miho remembered the moment when Tamada had told her she was her friend, just to pass away a few minutes later. She hoped never to end up in the same condition; it was such a horrible death... Her unhealthy thinness, her exhaustion, her lack of appetite, everything came back to her mind. Radiation sickness was a horror. A horror. Kitakyushu would be an extremely dangerous point... and she had already been scared of going in Niigata Prefecture...

They arrived in Kanazawa. There was something special here... a castle! Kanazawa Castle wasn't the most well-known, but it was still standing. Probably slightly radioactive, but it was still holding up. They could quietly spend a night there! For once, they weren't going to sleep outside ; it was absolutely the right opportunity. Miho opened the gate, which was oddly unlocked, and held it to let the two others and the dog go inside. It felt strange to come here. She had already visited castles, but had never been to Kanazawa, the latter being known for its beautiful gardens that had suffered from the fallout now. From there, they could see them if they were in the watchtower. Who lived here? Who was still there? They probably never would know, but there was some kind of energy around them. Not a malicious one, but it was feeling strange indeed... as if someone understood their need and let them in as home. Perhaps it was for this reason that the door was unlocked... Maybe there was still someone's spirit who offered to shelter the ones in need.

"Well, we'll be safe and not disturbed here!" Kinuyo exclaimed.

"Yeah", said Miho. "No one would go there... We could almost live there. I wonder if we shouldn't make ourselves at home in Kumamoto Castle."

"Interesting idea", her girlfriend replied. "There are many people who have lived here! Why wouldn't we give a second life to the castle? This one is a one-night shelter, and the Kumamoto one will be our new home... We'll have a large area just for us."

"And you, Alice, what do you think?" Miho asked.

"I like the idea", the blonde murmured.

"Great, we should really put this project into practice", the ginger said. "We wouldn't have to work too much."

"Just some furniture to find or make", Kinuyo chuckled. "But still a good idea."

They sat down. It felt weird for them to sit on wood rather than earth or asphalt. Dogmeat smelt everything. He put his nose absolutely everywhere: so many smells here! They would spend a much more comfortable night. After a well-deserved dinner made of soup, they put themselves in a circle, landing the flashlight in the middle. Nothing was better than a ghost-stories night to celebrate this! Maybe it was the opportunity to experience something with the spirit that seemed to be with them...

"It's really not a night like any other", Miho said, laughing.

"I wish I had a guitar, shamisen or koto at hand, it's always good and useful in evenings like that", Kinuyo said.

"We could sing any song", her partner giggled.

"...I would have to know how to play those", the brunette quipped with a smirk.

Miho laughed. Alice impassively petted Dogmeat who was lying next to her.

"Oh, you're not my Kinuyo for nothing", Miho smiled.

"Well, who's telling the first story?" her partner said.

"Alice, do you want to start?" the ginger questioned.

A bit intimidated, the blonde didn't answer.

"Well, I'm going first", Miho sighed. "In Himeji Castle, one tells that there was a samurai who had a maid. Her name was Okiku. One day, unfortunately for her, she broke a plate... Guilty, she told the samurai's wife about what happened, but when he came home, he hit her, tied her up, locked her in a closet and every day he cut one of her fingers..."

"Ugh", Alice said.

"Horrible", Kinuyo murmured.

"And then one day, she managed to free herself, she ran outside, desperately jumped into the castle's well and drowned. One says that if you go at night near the well, you can hear a voice that says: "a plate, two plates, three plates" and so on until nine, then starts crying..."

"My god", the brunette sighed. "You give me almost want to go there to say hello to her, just out of curiosity."

"You little daredevil", laughed Miho. "It's your turn."

Kinuyo took a deep breath, trying not to start laughing because of the nervousness she was feeling.

"Well... I don't know if you have heard of the story of the cow's head. I've heard about it when I was in junior high..."

"I don't remember about it" Miho said.

"Basically, on a school trip, in the bus, a teacher wants to entertain his students, nothing unusual so far. He begins to tell them the story of the cow's head... The students begged him to stop, they were frightened... so frightened... it was so scary that they couldn't bear it, and the teacher... his eyes went blank as he couldn't stop."

"Is it true?" Alice whispered.

"I don't know, but in any case, it's said that after hearing the story in question, the driver and the students were frothing at the mouth and had fainted, and many died. The survivors have never been able to remember the story. Good for them, though... If it's that dangerous, it must be the scariest story ever."

"Can't be true", the little girl refuted.

"And what if it was?" Kinuyo replied, somewhat destabilized. "I don't know if I should believe it, but it is this that made me afraid. I think what makes the story scary is that we don't know if it's real or not... what could it be, actually? Fictional? Real? Do you get me better, Alice?"

"There's also this cursed poem, you know?" Miho said. "Tomino's Hell... One says that if one recites it aloud, tragic things will happen... I wouldn't try, personally."

"I don't believe in these stories", whispered Alice. "But I heard a strange and almost funny one in elementary... You know about Hanako-san? Ghost of...toilet?"

"I think I've heard about her", Miho replied.

"Eh, maybe", Kinuyo said.

"Well, it's said that she's the spirit of a girl who committed suicide after months of being bullied by everyone, and which haunts the third cabin on the third floor in the girls' bathroom. One would have to knock three times on the door and ask if she's there."

"Can we say hello to her, at least?" the Chihatan captain joked. "I'd like to give her some green tea and cookies..."

"No, apparently, if she replies, don't open the door... if you do, she will kill you... Some people say she sucks you into the toilet, others say she'll gut you alive, there are a lot of versions."

"Who would invent such a story?" Miho said with a chuckle. "A ghost in the toilet..."

"It's so unlikely that I wonder why people believed it", Alice whispered with a smile. "Myself, I have never believed in that thing."

"Not to sound rude, but I'm wondering who's here... with us..." Kinuyo muttered.

Just after she spoke, she felt a familiar energy hugging her. She knew who it was, really. She touched one of the dogtags with the tip of her finger... and smiled.

Miho felt the same thing: someone invisible put a hand on the shoulder as a sign of friendship. Was it Hosomi or Tamada? Certainly. It wasn't feeling like the energy that emanated from Maho: she was probably still alive.

Alice felt a protective sensation. Maternal energy... Was her mother, Chiyo Shimada, dead, after all? She didn't know, but each had an energy that reassured them... as if the missing were still with them. In the end, they were probably here... as spirits.

Again, the blonde girl was the first to go to bed tonight. Miho and Kinuyo were always the ones who were staying up. They would leave the castle next morning, comforted by the presence of these spirits who watched over them.


	15. Chapter 14

**Author's note : Hello here! I hope you're doing well, y'all. Here's the new chapter. Took a bit of time to come, but I already started translating Chapter 15. It shall come in some time. **

**Enjoy this one !**

 **EDIT 2/27/2017 (holy shit, 2 and 7 everywhere) : Added a little scene to develop a bit more.**

* * *

 _"And good's bad today,_  
 _And black's white today,_  
 _And day's night today [...]"_

\- Cole Porter

* * *

The awakening felt good. The castle was a really calm place for one night. They would have to leave, but they would feel that calm again in the one of Kumamoto. It was a soft and calm night, peaceful enough to get a good sleep. Alice, still hugging her new Boko, was the first to wake up; to her surprise, Miho and Kinuyo weren't there. Where could they be? Had they abandoned her? Left purposely without her? Gone outside for food or water? Not wanting to panic, she awoke Dogmeat with a little pat on the head. The dog looked up and yawned.

"Show me where they are", she whispered in her loyal dog's ear.

The dog glanced at her with a questioned look, and after a minute or two, noticed the absence of the two lovers. He led Alice to the next room. She let out a sigh of relief: they were only sleeping here. She didn't ask herself why they were in the adjacent room: she went back to where she was, put a hand in Miho's suitcase, found a tin, opened it and ate. She gave another one to the dog, who enjoyed his meal.

Miho and Kinuyo got up half an hour later, holding the blanket and the bigger bag with them.

"Sorry, we wanted to have a little moment together last night", Miho apologized, sitting down.

"It's alright", Alice replied. "Dogmeat found you both, he knew you weren't that far."

"You know we wouldn't leave you alone", Kinuyo whispered.

"Yes", the blonde muttered.

Miho saw that the little girl had already eaten. She didn't feel embarrassed at all; she naturally took a can of soup in the supplies bag. Kinuyo did the same. It was quite normal to eat after waking up early, regardless of whether your traveling companions were awake or not.

"So, have you had a good night?" the ginger asked.

"Of course I did. I think I may have heard something weird... Probably something that came from outside, maybe a bird, but I think I just dreamt..."

Kinuyo barely had time to swallow a mouthful when she was seized with an uncontrollable laugh, almost choking herself in the process. Alice looked at her with an inquisitive look, not really understanding why the brunette was doubled up.

"Uh...?" she let out, a bit disconcerted.

The Chihatan captain couldn't stop. Miho blushed a bit and looked at the little blonde.

"Don't worry", she said with an embarrassed look. "She's fine. She just woke up... it, uh, it can happen to laugh out of the blue."

Kinuyo took at least ten minutes to fully calm down. Alice didn't understand what was causing her to laugh so much, but wasn't more concerned than that. The brunette finished her meal a little bit later than her girlfriend, but made sure not to be too late anyway. They left shortly after, now being once again on the way to find Maho. The more time passed, the closer they were getting: it was a very good sign!

They were in Ishikawa Prefecture. Another one that would be soon passed. They were getting away of that dreaded Niigata Prefecture, but were gradually closer to Kitakyushu, this potentially fatal step... The next to cross was Fukui Prefecture, from where Alice came to them. They would maybe pass by Vault 54... the vault that had seen the departure of the little girl who was sent in the radioactive world. She was somewhat lucky, actually. If she hadn't been out, even on an experimental purpose, the couple would have went directly into the vault to take her away, even if it meant pretending to be Vault-Tec employees.

"I'm reminded of something", Kinuyo said. "Where's the vault containing Jatkosota students?"

"I don't know, perhaps it was in Kanazawa", Miho replied. "Why?"

"Oh, I was just thinking about Mika, who is probably still playing the kantele after the apocalypse" the brunette said with a smirk. "Calmly settled in her vault..."

"Perhaps", the ginger replied. "She was such an odd person... mysterious in some way..."

"I don't remember her", Alice whispered. "Who is she?"

"You know, the Jatkosota commander, the one who continuously played music, even in her tank", explained Miho.

"I think I saw her", the blonde replied.

"I wonder what she's playing right now..." Kinuyo said.

"Hmmm... I don't know", Miho ended with a smile. "Perhaps her usual song... it was quite beautiful!"

They continued on their way. The dog was always revolving more and more around Alice. Miho wondered if Dogmeat would survive the whole journey, finally. He was without a doubt the most vulnerable of their small group. Only running away or barking could cause him to get killed... not to mention a potential disease they couldn't cure. They had Stimpaks for injuries, but they wouldn't last long and there was no guarantee that it would work for the most serious wounds. Miho had taken only a few bandages, any wound that is too deep would probably be fatal. It was what she feared the most: that was why they were so careful.

Kinuyo, one hand holding that of Miho, discreetly grabbed Hosomi's dogtag in the pocket of her jacket and hugged it in her fist. She missed them terribly. It wasn't long since they both had died... two weeks were so short on the scale of a lifetime. One day, it would be three weeks, then three months, three years, thirty years, three hundred years... The worst for her was to rethink the fact that they died very shortly after the other: only two days apart. It hurt her even more. Double trauma. She couldn't even try to imagine what Hosomi must have felt when the life had left her without feeling a physical uneasiness. She visualized everything; it was horrible.  
She saw in her mind the animal eating her friend's frail, red flesh, breaking her bones like a chicken's, tearing off her muscles and skin, leaving only a few tissue pieces to ultimately spit out the dogtag that probably had a gross metallic taste. And Tamada, oh... Tamada... Kinuyo never forgave herself. Why had she gone to bed that night, to finally wake up with a start and attend the last moments of her closest friend, the one she went further than friendship with? She remembered it like it was yesterday; she even dreamed of it at night. She remembered perfectly her eyes getting duller and duller, then finally closing forever, while her halting breath dwindled, and this horrible feeling... She had held her wrist and felt the last beat of her heart. That was why she had chosen the left wrist to tie the ribbon there: it was the side where she had felt Tamada's last life sign. This little white ribbon that held the tip of her braid. It meant so much to her.

Alice stayed away from the group. It wasn't that she didn't like couples, but she was feeling a bit excluded, out of place. She petted Dogmeat. He, at least, understood her, and he could speak to her without saying a word. Dogs had something that humans hadn't. She was so happy to have her Boko with her too. At least, failing to have Miho alone, she had a dog and a stuffed bear she loved. What was Kinuyo doing here, after all, and why had Miho chosen her as a romantic partner? Alice hadn't expected that. She didn't say she was a little jealous, but was that it, actually? Not in the sense of love, but in the sense that Miho was supposed to be with her alone.  
She hadn't thought her friend was going to have a romantic relationship at this right moment. Maybe a traveling companion, but not something that deep... She found Kinuyo so... elusive, complex. She couldn't stop blocking off on her. Was it just caused by the unexpected nature of things? Seeing a close friend with someone she knew only by sight was fine to her, but having suddenly to live with a perfect stranger perturbated her... And why was the brunette often hugging those things, the dogtags and the candy tin? She would try to see it later. For now, she was still watching.

When they took a little break, they had reached the small town of Komatsu. Seen from the coast, it was looking cute. Could a town be called cute? Miho thought so. In her mind, if she called something cute, it was probably appropriate.  
Alice and Dogmeat stopped playing and sat on the sand. Kinuyo, a bit further, was trying to find some shade and laid down on the ground to rest a bit. The bag was feeling a little heavy on her shoulder.

To her surprise, the little girl came to her. Alice, coming to her? It was so strange! Why was she switching between hot and cold? Would she actually talk to her? Was it to spend some time under the shade as well? Kinuyo tried not to feel too excited, but couldn't contain her enthusiasm to see Alice here.

"What do you want? Do you feel like talking?"

"Tell me..." the small one started, sitting at a distance. "Why did you laugh so much this morning? Has something funny happened? Or did you want to make fun of me? I don't understand."

"Uh, well..."

Kinuyo almost choked on her own saliva trying not to laugh. She attempted to find her words, but couldn't stand the pressure of her laughter coming. Miho saw them talking and approached right at this moment.

"You, you see... Last evening..."

And she lost it. Kinuyo's face went bright red as she cracked up again. Miho knew what it was about. She blushed as well. Was it truly right to tell her about these kinds of things? She was so young... perhaps still too young to truly understand. She had plenty of time to discover these things. Would Chiyo Shimada have told her about it? Miho didn't think so. Perhaps it'd be better to explain such things with simple words.

"Well... Alice, when two people love each other a lot, sometimes they... uhm... they..."

The little girl stared at her, wide-eyed, trying to understand.

"You know... they.. they do things... children don't have to see... and.. uh..."

Kinuyo's laughter in the background wasn't helping. Miho tried hard not to start laughing herself. Finally, she gave up. It was probably not the right moment to tell her about these things anyway.

"...Just forget about it, okay?" she said, her grin showing her embarrassment.

"..Alright", Alice replied, putting a hand on Dogmeat's head.

After some time, they left again. The brunette had random fits of laughing again during the rest of the journey. She was likely thinking back to this morning. Miho chuckled as well sometimes, but did her best to stay calm.

Kaga was the place where they'd spend the night. This small town wasn't far from the coast. After the forest, there was the beach and the sea. They could sleep near the river or get closer to the coastline. Their main objective was to find a place where they would be safe. They preferred to avoid the city and have a shelter in the houses that were around, not too far nor too close.

What they found was perfect; a Shinto temple. Nobody was there and it didn't have the potential of attracting raiders: what a find! They settled here, in Daishoji Temple, and left their stuff here. The night would certainly be quiet, and if it rained, they could still go inside. Moreover, they could find enough wood around them to start a fire.

At dinner, while Kinuyo was preparing their meal, Alice approached Miho.

"Hey, can I tell you something?" the blonde girl asked.

"Sure, go ahead."

The little one sat beside her.

"Well... I'm not sure if I'm truly feeling good with you two. I mean, you're a couple, you live a happy life, but what about me...?"

Miho was surprised.

"I don't want you to feel bad with us. I didn't expect I'd meet Kinuyo... I just met her shortly after I left the vault, she's just lost her two friends and it was very hard for her, and we ended up close very fast... and then, you know what happened."

"It's not what bothers me", Alice whispered. "But... I'm afraid that you'd forget about me. I expected to find you and only you, and I have to admit... that Kinuyo scares me a bit. She seems so different from you, a little too impulsive, not very thoughtful and even a bit... uh... narrow-minded."

"She has a sensitive side, you know", Miho replied. "I agree that sometimes she tends to act a bit impulsively, but especially since the death of her friends, she became more emotional. Don't be fooled by her apparent behaviour and don't be too hard on her. She worries a lot, you know. She's afraid you don't like her."

"I don't dislike her... but I have some kind of blocking on her. And I don't understand some of her behaviours sometimes, like when she squeezes that box against her."

"Mh... How do I say that... It's very personal, Alice. Perhaps she'll tell you about why she does it later. And then...

"It's ready!" Kinuyo's voice sounded a little further.

Miho got up and helped the younger girl to do the same.

"Think about it, okay? And especially if you need, I'm here, Alice."

"Thanks", the blonde whispered.

They sat down and ate. Soup again tonight. They would soon run out of supplies: aside from rice and a few tins, they would have to look for food soon, or else they could starve to death They had enough to eat, hopefully; but how long would it last? Could their diet end up causing them deficiencies? Was there something harmful in the food? As long as they had something to eat and feeding the dog, they no more even thought about it, except for radioactive water.

When they went to sleep, Kinuyo made sure that Alice and Dogmeat were asleep, then gently whispered to Miho:

"You seem preoccupied, dear."

"Oh, it's nothing", the ginger replied. "Alice just told me she had a blocking on you..."

"I knew it, you told me... you said she needed time, and stuff like that... She seems to try to observe me before coming to me."

"Yes, it's true. She wonders why you pay so much attention to Tamada's urn... Do you feel like telling her?"

"Not yet. I have a hard time getting over her death... That's why sometimes you feel me agitating at night when sleeping, or I just start shaking. I have nightmares, although thanks to you, I still manage to feel a bit better than I'd do alone."

"You're so adorable, my Kinuyo", muttered Miho. "I just love you so much..."

She kissed her on the temple, near her dark brown eyes. Her partner softly returned the gesture and let her head rest on the ginger's body.

"Have a good night, Miho."

"Sleep well, love."

Miho preferred to avoid thinking that night. She focused on falling asleep. Maybe her dreams would bring answers to her inner questions. She wanted to dream of finding Maho, but couldn't... it was only possible for her to have a black, dreamless sleep. Tomorrow would be a new day... She closed her eyes and waited for the dark emptiness to come.


	16. Chapter 15

**Author's note : Hey here! This chapter came earlier than expected, but it was because I had started translating it when I posted Chapter 14, so it came quicker.~ I'll try to do it with Chapter 16 too. I hope you're all feeling well. **

**Enjoy!**

 **EDIT 03/04/2017 : Added a small scene here.~**

* * *

 _"At first my heart thought you could break this jinx for me_  
 _That love would turn the trick to end despair"_

\- Frank Sinatra

* * *

Miho opened her eyes with a question in mind this morning. How was she going to do to make Alice and Kinuyo closer?

For once, her girlfriend had got up first; her eyes full of tenderness were the first thing she saw when she woke up, and the brunette's long fingers gently stroking her hair were the first thing she felt. Alice was a bit further, playing with Dogmeat.

"Seems like you sleep a lot these times", Kinuyo said with a chuckle. "Are you tired?"

"How long has it been since you woke up?" Miho asked, still a little sleepy.

"Three quarters of an hour. I thought you needed some more sleep, so I waited before having breakfast", her partner replied.

"Oh, you didn't need to do that", the Oarai captain said while lifting her head. "It's alright, I can eat alone."

Miho got up and had a quick breakfast. While she and Kinuyo were quietly enjoying their meal, Alice continued to play with the dog. She felt a bit better compared to yesterday evening, already. They would come to the coast and follow it as much as possible, as long as there would be no danger to do so. Luckily, Kaga was close to the coast: they could again walk on the beaches of Hokuriku region as they loved so much. Marine scenery never bored them. It was always so beautiful and felt so good to be here. If they could choose between the sea and the mountains, they'd choose without hesitation the sea, and unanimously.

They decamped after the meal. They made sure that nothing was missing, then strode the streets, stopping occasionally in a house or two to find something to complement their supplies. It was Dogmeat who sometimes brought them there, especially when he smelt something good. They found no Boko this time, but could at least replenish their stock of food and purified water. They had few, but enough to last a few days. They would stop at other places where they could find food and drink. They still had enough vital resources, but it was necessary to find something to complement their rations...

The road had become a routine for them now. The days were somewhat monotonous, but this chain of monotony was broken by the fact that everything happening was unpredictable. Anyway, not many people would have an opportunity to make such a journey in their life. Many ones, especially vault dwellers and survivors, would very certainly remember about the three atomic bombs, but few could testify of such a journey. Maybe the trio could publish a book after all of this. There would be a few remaining publishing houses, probably. And if they failed to publish in Japan, maybe they would publish elsewhere and have a global success. Life in a world devastated by the nuclear apocalypse would be a popular topic. The public would maybe be unable to stop talking about their story... or maybe it would remain in total silence? It was still more likely to create a big wave of popularity. After all, who never wondered how life would be like after the end of the world? There were so many questions to ask about this kind of subject. And for the first time since the birth of humanity, someone could respond and tell everything about it.

Miho knew that the rest of her journey would be difficult. Yet, out of love for her sister, for Kinuyo and for Alice, she pursued her dream. After all, it would have been easier to stay in the vault, that underground prison. To remain here, never to start this trip with a possibly fatal end, and endure the effects of white noise on the brain to, maybe, finally die. In fact, thinking back to that white noise, had the symptoms observed in those who had been exposed gone now that it was disabled? Had Anzu reactivated it? Being the Overseer, she could have realized something. Was Akebi feeling better now, being the most affected? And what about the others? Could they get enough peaceful sleep? Miho remembered those who were getting up at night, like herself, or the ones who had a terribly restless sleep. It felt horrible to remember.  
What was happening in other vaults, except in those she knew? This prohibition to utter a single word in Vault 64 was such a cruel thing... Not being able to talk or make a sound, even for expressing pain, thoughts or anything else must have been the worst possible thing. It was the worst experiment she knew about so far. Vault 54's was less awful; however, would those sent-away students come back? Probably not. Unless they had a microchip implanted somewhere in their body or maybe in their Pip-Boy, it was probably impossible to trace them. Did Alice have one without knowing it?

The three girls and their dog had arrived on the coast. Finally back there. Finally they could admire the sea again. Dogmeat would be able to run on the sand and catch the sticks they would throw him. Miho could again kiss Kinuyo on the beach and Alice could once again play with her loyal companion. They'd walk again, their feet feeling the sea water... with this so sweet background noise...

After some time, they chose to stop. Taking a break from time to time was good. While Miho and Kinuyo were exploring the surroundings to find a possible can of food, water, or whatever could be useful for their journey, Alice sat under a tree. She took her Boko plush out of her bag and landed it on her lap.  
A memory of her mother was starting to get back to her head.

It was two years before, while they were traveling on the beaches of Kyushu, in Kagoshima. Chiyo and Alice were enjoying their Golden Week there. After all, having a whole week free couldn't be better. If she recalled good, it was Iso Beach. As Chiyo was reading on the sand, laying down on a towel, Alice had got closer to the beautifully sounding waves. Three children had tried to play with her a while before, but she was so amazed by the volcano that she hadn't reacted to their solicitations. There was something way more interesting than their baby games, and it was right in front of her! The gigantic, wonderful, terrifying Mt. Sakurajima was staring at her. Its gaze was rather calm at this moment, but the little girl knew its devastating anger could burst out at any moment. She had read a bit about geology. Only one provocation would provoke its wrath, going completely insane, blindly enraged. Sakurajima was impulsive, dangerous, but so fascinating. Alice was so amazed by this immense volcano, which was, in its own way, so full of life...  
She came back to her mother and asked her why volcanoes erupted. Chiyo, not very keen on these subjects, told her she didn't know. Alice asked her _"If Sakurajima-san decided to kill us because it has got upset, would you stay with me until the end? Until it'd strike us a final blow? Until we'd be both gone?"_. Her mother remained silent, but smiled and took her in her arms. Still exchanging glances with the terrible volcano, Alice felt this embrace. It was the best she'd ever get. No one else could make her feel more comfortable than her mommy. The warmth of the person who had given birth to her. Her reassuring presence. Alice recalled closing her eyes and falling asleep in Chiyo's arms.

A small noise made her come back to reality. The wind was flowing in the branches. Three branches were above her. One of them seemed weaker than the others, but held on firmly to the one next to it. The third one was crossing them in an odd angle, joining the first one. Radiation had probably made the tree mutate, or maybe something or someone had broken the branches. No time to wonder about this : Miho and Kinuyo were already coming back with Dogmeat. They had found two cans of food.

The couple was walking forward. Meanwhile, the blonde girl and her pet were playing behind. Miho turned her head. She liked to see them having so much fun with so much innocence. Alice was playfully running on the sand, followed by Dogmeat who chased her and grabbed the stick in his jaws. Sometimes, he went into the sea and plunged his snout into the water, then came back shaking his fluffy head. One could see the happiness in his eyes. He was so happy, so cheerful, always wanting only one thing: fun. He didn't speak, but gave off such a positive vibe that he was spreading the good mood around him.

Kinuyo had just put her hand on her girlfriend's waist when she heard a yelp. Both girls turned around. Dogmeat was lying face down and gave small, shrill barks. Alice was beside him, gently petting his coat.

"What happened?" Miho asked.

"He took a bad step and fell... I think he has hurt himself", the blonde explained. I don't think it's too serious, but he's for sure in pain..."

Some blood started to flow from the dog's paw ; it was a small amount, but Alice turned pale. Indeed, he had scratched himself, probably with an oyster that was lying there, or another sharp shell. Miho rushed behind her and supported her, fearing she would faint. The little girl could hardly keep her eyes open: she was covered in sweat, as if she suddenly felt a heat wave. Kinuyo crouched beside Dogmeat and wrapped his leg in a piece of vault jumpsuit.

"Now we'll see how Stimpaks work", she said.

While her girlfriend was comforting Alice who was somehow recovering from the sight of blood, Kinuyo came with one of these huge syringes. She stuck the needle in the dog's leg, who yelped and struggled slightly. The wound seemed, in the space of a few minutes, to close, but not completely heal. It was probably the Stimpak's effect. Kinuyo remembered that Miho had bandages in her suitcase. She took one out and wrapped Dogmeat's leg in before cutting the remaining piece. She made a knot to make sure it would resist to moving. Now there was much less a risk of infection. A small scar might remain, but this injury wouldn't kill him. This would have been a shame to die because of a small wound made while playing.

She turned to Alice and Miho. The blonde had regained some colours. Good. Hopefully, she didn't faint. At least, the couple knew that the sight of blood was making the little girl extremely uncomfortable. She walked toward them.

"Are you okay, Alice?" Kinuyo murmured.

"I'm fine..." the girl whispered. "I never feel good when I see blood, unless I see mine."

"Don't be afraid, this is quite common", Miho comforted her. "And there's nothing wrong with it. Don't worry. It will be okay."

"As long as everything goes well, I'd say it's good" the brunette said. "Well, let's resume our journey?"

"Let's go!" Miho replied.

They got up and went back on their way. There was an estuary near here : they would have to go through the land for a little while until they could find a bridge. It would be only for a few kilometers or even tens of kilometers. They were approaching a town. Seeing the signs, they noticed they were in Sakai, Fukui Prefecture. This would be where the trio would spend the night.

It was a friendly little town. Abandoned like all the other ones, but friendly. They sheltered in an old service station. Unusual places kept multiplying in the list of places where they had slept since the beginning of their respective journeys. As long as there was no danger, no raiders or dangerous animals around, everything could be suitable as a place to spend the night. They were just being a little more careful when lighting their fire to avoid inflaming everything because of a potential oil residue that would set things ablaze. They simply started their fire further than here. It wasn't a problem.

Miho sat near Kinuyo who was cooking their rations of rice. They had found more food in some houses. She put a hand on her back and watched her preparing the meal.

"Will it soon be ready?" the ginger asked.

"Yes, I think it shall be ready in five minutes or so", her girlfriend replied. "Are you hungry?"

"I'm hungry as a wolf", Miho murmured. "Dogmeat seems fine. His injury doesn't seem to bother him too much. Perhaps he just sprained his paw. He doesn't use it as much as his other one, but he can still move it, so I think he doesn't have anything serious."

"Don't worry, he seems pretty robust", Kinuyo replied. "He is happy with Alice and us, I think he has everything for canine happiness."

"I'm afraid that when he will be gone, Alice will suffer one of the worst losses in her life... They have something very fusional..."

"Don't think of this day", the brunette said. "I have no idea on how old he is, but he probably still has a lot of time remaining. Given to his vivacity and his appearance, even if there are old dogs that can mislead us on age, he seems even quite young. I'd say he's around 4 or 5 years old."

"Yes, but what if something happened during the trip, or when we're in Kumamoto... although the most hazardous part will be behind us..."

"Still, try not to think about it", her partner gently said. "Alice is happy, Dogmeat is happy and we are happy together. We are a little family, you know... We lost our families, but we now have a new one..."

"Feels weird to say that, but I still wonder how it would be like if our friends were all there", Miho replied. "We'd be a bigger group, but the family would be huge. I really hope to find them back later..."

"At least, you'll be able to see them again, at least" Kinuyo sighed in a breaking voice. "Lucky you... they're still alive..."

Miho saw that her loved one was teary-eyed. The brunette wiped them with her sleeve, trying not to let go. The rice was finally ready. She let it drain while trying to hide the slightly reddish tint her eyes had taken.

"You still have Fukuda... She's certainly safer in her vault", whispered Miho. "And the ones you mentioned sometimes... Nagura, Ikeda, Teramoto, Hamada...

"Who knows if she wouldn't have lost her mind and if she'd speak to me again someday", Kinuyo muttered, her tears taking over her. "And the other four were only distant friends... I hate to say it, but in all, I wasn't that close to them..."

Miho kissed her on the cheek and hugged her, gently stroking her back to comfort her. She noticed a pale shape, a little further, that seemed to look down and disappear. Was it the spirit of one of the missing?

When she calmed down enough and checked if her face wasn't too pink after crying, Kinuyo called Alice for dinner. Everything went very well. It wasn't entirely quiet, although the blonde didn't speak a lot, which was normal coming from her. Miho felt relieved. Things were unlocking gradually, it was very good. Her fears were beginning to dwindle. Alice communicated a little with Kinuyo and it was a very good effort on her part. Dogmeat was waiting a little further, lying inside the station.

Where would they stop tomorrow, and how would be the day? Miho wholeheartedly hoped that nothing bad would happen...


	17. Chapter 16

**Author's note : (rofl almost wrote author's night) Heyo here ! I hope my red potato readers are going well. This one took longer, despite it being short. Things are going well here, I'm just stressed as hell because of school pressure and stuff... If I take a long time for the next one, it will be normal. Don't worry. I try to stay around 5-10 days between each chapter, though.**

 **Enjoy this one !**

* * *

 _"One more tomorrow_  
 _To see heaven in your eyes_  
 _To have your hand cling to mine_  
 _And wander through paradise"_

\- Marjorie Hughes and Frankie Carle

* * *

The sea, the sea reflecting the colours of the sky, the sea with the salty smell that had become a part of their daily lives. Between beach and mountain, they could do anything. The three girls had left in the morning. Nothing special had happened that night: it was quite a relief to Miho who was worried that something could be caught on fire due to possible diesel and fuel remain. Everything happened without any worry. Stress had gone down a notch.

Now, the trio was walking on the shore, feeling the sand flying under their feet. They never grew tired of these long walks on the beach, even in an apocalyptic setting that followed a triple bombing. Even wounded, Dogmeat continued to fool around and run like crazy; he always found a way to have fun with Alice, who walked slower. Miho looked around, holding Kinuyo's hand. From time to time, the ginger could see her girlfriend glancing lovingly at her.  
They were in a more abandoned than devastated area. It was rather far from the three impacts, radiation was probably not polluting the environment too much here, but better safe than sorry, they wouldn't try to taste the water puddles or berries growing on the trees... Were the once edible fruit still edible as before? Maybe the plants would soon produce mutant fruit. Maybe they would be safe to eat, although radioactive. If the radiation levels were low enough, they weren't dangerous in small doses. But now, the human body would be tainted by these particles forever, or at least for dozens and dozens of generations. Would the next stage evolution of man be triggered by this apocalypse? Perhaps. Only time could tell.

Kinuyo slowed down thoughtfully, as if she was thinking about something without being able to recall it. Miho stared at her with wide eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked, a bit surprised.

"Hey, do you still have the Polaroid we found?" the brunette questioned with a smile.

"Yeah, why?" Miho said. "We have six or seven pictures remaining, I think."

"I'd like you to take a picture of me near the sea... But just me.. Nobody around. Just try to focus on me."

"Oh, alright!" her partner accepted, her eyes lightening up.

Alice didn't quite understand what was happening. Miho explained why they had stopped. Kinuyo, meanwhile, posed.

Miho took more or less ten minutes to frame: she wanted to make her lover's picture as beautiful as she could. She found the angle she had imagined : Kinuyo in profile view, her head slightly tilted downwards, one hand in her hair, with a little of light illuminating one side of her face. The sea was a bit visible too. The backlight looked pretty nice. She told her to look at the lenses and have a slight smile. She took the picture. The few seconds needed for the paper to react seemed like an eternity to her: she was waiting so impatiently to see this precious memory immortalized!

When the colours appeared, Miho saw the moment she had captured forever on this shiny paper. Kinuyo looked at it.

"Now you have one of your best memories", she whispered lovingly.

"Thank you so much for giving it to me", the ginger sweetly said.

The brunette kissed her affectionately. Alice came from behind and saw the photograph.

"This one is beautiful" the little girl said.

"Thanks", Miho replied. "If you want, I'll take you too."

"Later", the blonde declined. "Not now. And I would like it to be with Dogmeat. Maybe we should do it tomorrow or after tomorrow, or when the moment will have come."

"Got it", the ginger said. "There's plenty of time to take pictures, and perhaps we'll find some extra films too. We did find some sukiyaki beef and macarons on a stroke of luck, so..."

"Oh, yes, that was so good!" Kinuyo said, laughing. "Anything can be found..."

They resumed their journey. Their next stop was in a small village. At the exit of a tunnel under a mountain, in which they passed because they couldn't walk near the sea, they reached Omicho, still in Fukui Prefecture. It was the typical small coastal place where one made a stopover on vacation. The only big thing here was a junior high school, and still, it wasn't so large. Miho was tempted to go in, but preferred to see the rest of the village before. It was the small town that could make a peaceful place for vacationers in search of tranquility.

Walking through the streets of this small town, they passed by a barber shop. Miho felt a wave of memories coming back to her mind. It reminded her of the one of Yukari's parents. Were they still alive, anyway? She didn't know if they could reach the vault in time. She hoped very much that her friend, in addition to her initial loss, didn't have to suffer from her family's death as Kinuyo and perhaps Alice did. It was unbearable. Miho didn't know if her own parents were alive either. Maho probably was, but what about her mother? And Alice's? She hoped she'd find them alive.

They moved into a house that was still holding up. Unfortunately, the furniture had been looted: nothing much remained. Raiders had probably entered into the garage, seeing it was left open. They had a solid roof above their head, at least!

Kinuyo noticed a soda machine at the end of the street, next to what appeared to be a supermarket. She took three cans of Coca-Cola, wondering if it would taste different because of the apocalypse. Miho, amused, didn't believe it could do, but let her do it anyway. Dogmeat, as usual, had laid down a bit further with Alice, who was petting him. When the brunette returned, they sat in a circle and tasted the precious drink.

"So, is it tasting good?" Miho laughed.

"It has the same usual taste, but I think people have already had renamed Coca-Cola as Nuka-Cola!" her girlfriend snickered. "Just for the joke..."

"Oh..." Alice whispered with a chuckle.

"At least we know that Coke survives everything! Even a triple nuke!" Kinuyo continued, determined to laugh tonight.

"You silly one" Miho said.

"You have to laugh sometimes... the mood shall be lightened a bit on the battlefield", the long-haired replied. "Even more in a nuclear war..."

The evening was rather nice. Their dinner, made with some food they found in the basement of the house and their supplies, looked like some kind of night brunch. They slept peacefully tonight, wishing only one thing; start tomorrow in a good mood.

In the middle of the night, Miho was awakened by a strange screeching. What was it? The house wasn't on the verge of collapsing, she felt no shock that would make her think of an earthquake, what was that?

The noise came closer. There seemed to be three or four sources of sound. She woke Kinuyo, who hadn't moved in her sleep. She yawned.

"What's wrong, dear? Have you had a nightmare?"

"Don't you hear that noise?" Miho asked, worried.

The brunette listened closely, then started moving.

"Alright, stay here, I'll see what is that..."

Kinuyo got up and turned on the Pip-Boy's light. She looked across the room. Nothing. Alice slept pretty well, but Dogmeat wasn't here anymore... she thought it could be good to go next room.

Miho heard something that startled her, pulling completely off sleep. The little girl also opened her eyes and looked up.

"Disgusting!" Kinuyo screamed. "Oh, please, Dogmeat, let that thing go!"

"What did you find?" the ginger yelled.

"Giant cockroaches! I'm willing to bet they're mutant! One of them is as big as my leg! We have to move from here!"

"Mutant cockroaches?" the short-haired muttered while slowly rising. "...Radroaches?"

"Yes, they're huge! Come on, we're going to another house, we can't sleep with these things!"

Kinuyo was soon back among them. Alice got up painfully and gathered her stuff, including her Boko, before closing her backpack.

"Where are we going, by the way? Any ideas?" the blonde asked.

"Remember, we passed by a school, right?" Miho suggested. "We should go there."

"Good point", Kinuyo said. "Don't expect me to wake up early tomorrow... We should take rest today. Even if we get up later, it's better to be in shape..."

"Yeah", the ginger replied. "We're going away."

They left the house. Dogmeat had a hard time forgetting the cockroaches, but Alice's call was enough to bring him back. They entered the school. It was probably the only place of that small town that hadn't been looted too much...

They could sleep in an actual bed that night: the infirmary was still holding up. For Miho and Kinuyo, however, being two in a single bed was complicated: they approached their respective beds side by side, and used two blankets. Alice let her faithful companion get on the end of hers. Some medicines, especially antiseptic, joined their supplies. Nobody else would need them now.

The next day, they got back on the road. They had, as predicted, got up late, but it didn't prevent them from walking on the paths again. Those mutant cockroaches they found had rotten their night, they were in need of some rest! At least, maybe they'd cover less distance, but they wouldn't fall from fatigue. It was the last thing they wanted: falling asleep in the middle of the journey. It was the best way to get attacked, perhaps looted or even killed. With each other, they were much stronger. In addition, tiredness could make them get sick, whereas if they fed and rested enough, this stuff was much less likely to happen. Illness would delay them or even kill any chance of reaching Kumamoto and meet Maho again. They were on the home stretch! They were still far from Miho's family, but Alice was already there. The ginger only wanted Maho now. Maho, who they hoped wholeheartedly would expect them there. And then, they would live in Kumamoto Castle and reconverting it. What could be better in a post-apocalyptic world?

They stopped at Nuka tonight. Kinuyo found the coincidence with what she said last night about Coca-Cola pretty funny. Nuka... Nuka-Cola! She promised herself to crack this joke again if she found another soda machine. After all, it would become a scarce good thing in this devastated world. Some small pleasures weren't too much. In such hard times, they had to keep their heads up!

Miho tonight, closed her eyes much more calmly. What would happen tomorrow? How far would they get on this neverending Japanese coast? And how far could they go this day? All of this was yet to come...


	18. Chapter 17

**Author's note : Hello to all of you ! This one took a shorter time... well, can't say I'm really feeling well at the moment. I start skipping school, and I barely can relax, I'm truly feeling good only when I'm home alone. I may take a short time to release Chapter 18 as well, but I can't promise anything at the moment. I just hope I'm going to be alright soon...**

 **Enjoy this chapter !**

* * *

 _"First you say you do, and then you don't_  
 _And then you say you will, and then you won't_  
 _You're undecided now_  
 _So what are you gonna do?"_

 _\- Ella Fitzgerald_

* * *

They were back on the road since two hours. Countless steps... How many times, in total, would they land their feet on the ground before reaching Kumamoto? Countless. The Pip-Boy wasn't equipped with a pedometer. It was impossible to really know. Millions, even billions of times. It was still a long way to go before reaching their goal. How many days would pass, too? Soon they would start their third week of travel. Time passed so fast on the road. It would be almost four months since the three bombs had fallen. Four, that cursed number... With Dogmeat, they formed a quartet, but the human part was a trio. One for each explosion. Kinuyo in Tokyo, Miho in Kitakyushu, and Alice in Niigata... it was the perfect definition of an explosive trio, and yet a strange coincidence.

Alice no longer played with Dogmeat. She got closer to the couple. The dog continued to follow her, but seemed to have trouble understanding why his little owner was no more throwing him the stick, no longer amused to continue or anything else. He looked at her with an insisting eye. Alice just petted his head and whispered a few words. He seemed to grasp the tone of her voice, but didn't understand why he was suddenly abandoned, even though it wasn't literally the case. He felt it that way. In his little dog head, though he wasn't able to speak, many thoughts were hitting each other there. Alice was everything to him, she was his lighthouse. Without her, what would he do? He may love Kinuyo and Miho, but his Alice was undoubtedly his true moon. He saw the two girls kissing, holding hands, giving little touches to one another, but what were they doing? He had no idea of this. He just knew that the atmosphere was filled with deep love.  
He wondered who was this Maho, that person Miho always talked about and why he found himself so alone before meeting the couple that was not yet one at that time. Anyway, he was happy even in this moment of incomprehension. He nuzzled his owner's hand several times. After all, maybe she just wanted a break.

"Oh, Alice, you chose to come near us?" Kinuyo marveled. "I thought you dis..."

"Yes, I've chosen to come here. Why?" she replied.

The brunette was confused. Miho looked at the little girl. She wasn't expressing herself correctly, there was no doubt. She squeezed Kinuyo's hand a little. Her partner had a somewhat disappointed stare.

"...Because, uh..." she said, her eyes having a slightly dull look. "I thought maybe you'd like to talk to us."

"One can very well be next to somebody and not talk, you know. I just wanted to be near Miho. Playing with the dog can get tiresome at the end, especially given the night we spent..."

The ginger leaned towards Alice.

"Mind your words... don't be that harsh" she whispered in the blonde's ear.

"I'm talking normally", the girl replied in her usual low, almost cold tone. "If she takes my words badly, it's not my fault. I never intended to hurt her."

Kinuyo kept Miho's hand in hers and looked insistently at Alice, as if she didn't really understand what was happening. Her girlfriend gave her a quick look to reassure her. The blonde didn't even lay her eyes on her. The long-haired captain remembered what Miho had told her, but was nonetheless still a little stressed out inside... This would work out, she told herself... while struggling to actually believe it.

The ginger girl didn't like to see her lover feeling bad. Additional stress added to the grief and the constant vulnerability in this apocalyptic world wasn't needed at all. She stroked Kinuyo's back gently. Her partner looked at her with a soft eye, although not quite peaceful. She comforted her as much as she could.

Alice, meanwhile, remained oddly unchanged. Maybe she just didn't want to speak to the Chihatan captain, but would have Miho close to her. The silence was getting awkward and she felt the need to initiate the conversation again. It was not her best skill, but she wanted to try.

"I wonder why they bombed us three times" the girl whispered.

"All I know is that you told me to run away and saved my life, and I am eternally grateful to you", Miho replied.

"Probably political issues, as usual.. I haven't followed the news though", Kinuyo added. "Or maybe some revenge, as they were unable to bomb Niigata and Kokura in 1945."

"In fact", Alice said, "at the moment I was texting you, I had the radio close to me. They announced a triple nuclear attack within minutes... they had seen things happening... and the signal just died. When I heard that, I didn't think a second and ran to Vault 54."

"Is it why your text was unusually full of typos?" Miho realized.

"Yes... I was running and typing at the same time. Luckily, I haven't tripped or fallen. But I had to warn you immediately."

"As for me, I was in a park", Kinuyo told the blonde. "My friends and I heard the alarm, we went to the vault just before the Tokyo bomb. Chiba was completely devastated. Maybe not by the explosion itself, but it burned for sure. When I finally came out of this underground prison, I saw a lot of charred buildings."

"Did you hear the detonation?" Alice asked.

"Vaguely... I just... knew", the brunette said. "I felt it deep inside my gut. It exploded and the whole country was going to be broken, Japan had lost its capital city. My friends distracted me, but it disturbed me all night, I couldn't eat anything at all, I felt that I'd throw up if I forced myself to swallow anything. Can't count how many nights I dreamed of that explosion..."

"Hm hm..." the blonde said. "Actually, I was quite far from Niigata, but we got in the vault because of the potential fallout. And even, at the end of a month, they sent one of us out... I wonder if we'll cross her path. In the second month, another one was sent in the wasteland."

"I just hope we won't discover her dead body", shuddered Miho. "Decaying smell is just so horrible..."

Kinuyo lowered her head and stay silent. She barely looked forward and approached her partner, almost as if she quietly asked her to squeeze harder.

"Sorry" Miho whispered in her lover's ear.

"It's fine", Kinuyo muttered. "I was remembering what you said when you discovered Hosomi... I'll get over it."

Alice looked at them impassively, as if she was waiting. Dogmeat gave a small nuzzle on her hand. She petted his little snout, then turned her eyes to the couple. The journey was going well despite the tension that could now be felt. But gradually, things relaxed. Everything went more or less back to normal.

Arriving in Tsuruga, the town where they'd spend the night, they settled in Kanegasaki Shrine. Miho decided, for once, to cook. She wanted the two communicate less coldly. She told Kinuyo, then baked their rations a bit apart from the group, while remaining close enough to possibly intervene in case there was a problem. Yet what she heard was more or less a big silence. Her girlfriend tried to talk with the blonde, who replied only very little. Kinuyo went quiet for a moment. Miho sighed. When would they finally talk in a normal way?

During dinner, she brought up various topics. Alice replied almost only to Miho, though, leaving the brunette out. The latter finally stayed silent. She looked at her girlfriend with a sorry face. The little one did not seem to feel any guilt, but she was she hiding it, actually? There wasn't really a way to find out... apart from being in her head. The meal ended in a neutral ambience, though still a bit tense.

At night, after Miho tucked her and told her good night. Tired by stress, she went to sleep directly. She laid down and put the blanket on herself. Kinuyo sat beside her, disheartened, and stroked her ginger hair, staring into the distance.

"I don't know what to do to make her behave correctly in my presence", the brunette signed. "I tried, at least... I feel even more helpless than when my teammates weren't listening to my orders and just charged."

"Yet she never said she hated you", the ginger said. "I don't understand what is happening... Maybe if you had to team up someday, things would be better..."

"I think I'll stop doing efforts for nothing. I don't want to end up sick from worrying. Thank God you're here and I love you... because if we had not been together, I think I would have escaped this night. No one can stand feeling barely tolerated."

"Try to wait a little", whispered softly Miho. "Told you... she's not an easy person at all..."

"I've waited for so long already", Kinuyo replied on a firmer tone. "I'm done. I wait, I wait, and it never ends. I'll end up taking things too fast and messing everything up if it continues. No, really, I'll stop wasting my time and spend it with you, it feels way better. If she decides to ignore me, she can do it. I'd rather be happy taking care of you, of us, than being unhappy trying desperately to reach her."

Miho didn't answer, scared of triggering a fight. It was normal for a couple to have some tension at times, but she didn't want any conflict, especially before sleeping and while her lover wasn't in the best of her states, still very hurt by the death of her two friends and the guilt of having left Fukuda. She knew Kinuyo wouldn't break up on a whim, but was afraid to make her run away and have to look for her, who knows what could happen at night...

The brunette grabbed the urn and the stained plate, pressed them against her heart and looked upwards, as if to lose herself in the skies. Miho knew she asked for help. Her gaze was helpless and tarnished. But when she turned to her, it slightly lit up again.

Kinuyo slept, as usual, behind Miho. She hugged her silently and her embrace got increasingly hard, almost to the point of choking her. The short-haired girl didn't resist, feeling how bad things were for her lover. There was nothing to do: the problem wasn't the brunette, but Alice herself. Kinuyo wasn't an aggressive person and didn't want to hurt anybody, but might end up hating the little girl, putting Miho's dream of harmony in jeopardy. There was still hope without a doubt... all wasn't lost yet.

They slept together this night, hoping for a better tomorrow.


	19. Chapter 18

**Author's note : Hello my red potatoes ! I hope you're all feeling well. I'll try not to skip school this week. Also, chapter 19 will soon come. Gonna start the translation right after posting this one.**

 **Enjoy this chapter !**

 **WARNING : Contains (light) sexual depiction. Nothing too explicit, but I prefer to warn you.**

* * *

 _"Atom bomb baby sweet as a plum  
_ _Carries more wallop than uranium  
_ _When she kisses, there's no hitch  
_ _Zero power, she turns on the switch_

 _\- The Five Stars_

* * *

Miho got frightened when she woke up. Kinuyo was no longer behind her again. What happened? Why was she gone? Had she run away as she had said? She jumped up and looked around... before sighing in relief.

Her lover was just a little further; she had gone to take a can of purified water and was going back to her.

"Seems like someone got up quickly!" Kinuyo giggled warmly.

"Don't ever scare me that much again... especially after last night. I really thought you had gone away without warning me", Miho said.

"Don't worry. I couldn't do that as long as you're here, I told you..."

"And even if we left together, there would still be Alice, and I couldn't abandon her. Never."

"I'll just ignore her, unless she has something to tell me or if I need her help", Kinuyo replied. "As I said last evening... I don't want to waste my time and energy anymore. If she ever wants to come, I'm not refusing though."

" Maybe she will come to you when you'll stop trying", Miho said.

"I don't know... but anyway, if she tries, I won't reject her."

The brunette stroke her girlfriend's hair and opened the can. She drank it in seconds: she was so thirsty she wanted to take another, but preferred to save some water. Miho went to eat and drink some too, then returned near Kinuyo, who gently put her hand on her partner's lower back, then started stroking it. Miho looked at her with the softest eyes, but seemed a little embarrassed. Alice was a little further, as usual. Miho turned her head, chuckled and shook her head. She whispered something in Kinuyo's ear. The long-haired girl stopped her gesture and simply cuddled with her. The ginger let her head rest on her lover's shoulder and closed her eyes. She was so relieved that her fears were unfounded. Again, she had got frightened for nothing.

Alice and Dogmeat, who were sitting, both got up and went to the couple. Miho looked up. The blonde had come by herself: was it a step toward a better relationship?

"Let's go?" the little one asked.

"Yes, we shall go", the redhead replied. "Come, dear."

Kinuyo, who remained silent, looked at Alice in the eye. The younger girl didn't even bother glancing back, then Miho helped her to get up. They gathered their stuff and departed. It was time to hit the road, trying to go as far as they could. Canigou gave a little bark, happy to leave for a new adventure.

They went down a road and were again on the way to Kumamoto. Alice was still uncommunicative, preferring spending time with her pet than with the brunette, or even Miho. It was just her personality. The ginger captain had a little trouble at first with her shyness, which ultimately was the proof of a deep introversion. They might have been close before the war, she felt that their bond could deteriorate if nothing was done, or if, on the contrary, she was trying too hard. She had Kinuyo, but her original plan was to find Alice. She was so happy and excited to see her... to finally have a lot of relationship problems in the end. Everything was going too fast. But she couldn't know that she would find love on her way. If she had the chance to redo it, she'd warn the blonde first.

Alice wasn't playing with the dog, but nevertheless kept one hand on his little head. His tongue hanging out, Dogmeat looked at her with an insisting look. She whispered to him that she was too preoccupied to play, then continued to follow the two others who were walking before her. Her mind was full of ideas. Kinuyo seemed to have stopped to desperately try to talk to her ; that was a good point.  
Alice didn't want to say it, even to herself, but in her heart, she had never truly liked her. Yet she refused to say she was jealous. She had no such feelings for Miho: why was she feeling such resentment for her friend's lover? No, it was certainly that excitable side which was getting on her nerves. She couldn't explain it, but it was maybe because all she could see was the clear lack of strategy of her school that could only be corrected by an exterior factor. That trait irritated her horribly... Yet Dogmeat was, in a way, a bit like this too. All was tangling and mixing in her mind. Thinking was getting harder. She couldn't stop doing it, though...

Kinuyo looked occasionally at Alice, who was walking behind with the dog. She couldn't imagine getting along with her anymore, it was over. Miho had told her, however, that everything wasn't lost... but even she struggled to believe it. Her girlfriend was someone nice... way too nice. She had to pull herself together a bit! Alice wasn't a saint. She really had to stop burying her head in the sand. Kinuyo was waiting for something to happen, that click the ginger would have one day, to see how that little girl actually was. She just hoped it wouldn't happen with Maho. If, after failing to communicate with her lover's close friend, she was unable to get along with her sister, it would be unbearable.  
She wanted to bring her two dead friends back to life, just to have someone to talk to if Miho was unavailable for any reason. She wanted to go back in time to pick Fukuda up, tell her to come with her, no matter how Tamada was trying to convince her to leave her without looking back. She regretted having made such poor choices. Fukuda was perhaps no more alive. She had no idea about how the mutiny ended. Usually, she thought about the consequences of her actions, but here, overwhelmed by this unsustainable stress, that mad desire to get away, to escape the psychological torture, she hadn't thought of them. She did only after realizing her wrongdoings and following blindly. Perhaps the death of her friends was actually her punishment. A punishment for indirectly killing, possibly, one Chihatan girl or more, and punishment for abandoning someone who was caring about her. She just hoped not to lose Miho... who was all she had left. Without her, she had nothing, no reason to survive in these wastelands, in this forever deeply hurt Japan.

A house was their shelter tonight. They were in Torihama. It was a tiny village in the prefecture of Fukui, where they still were. It felt weird to Miho to see a house, in the 21st century, without electricity. Yet the central had eventually gone out after not being maintained for such a long time.

There was still food here. In the refrigerator, by cons, many things had rotten: there was fish that had been left there for almost four months, giving off a foul smell. Miho quickly threw it away ; Alice looked after the dog and cleaned the space where they would spend the night while Kinuyo was sorting and eliminating outdated cans in the closets. A flyer caught the short-haired girl's attention: there was _"Vault 62: You are S.P.E.C.I.A.L.!"_ written in bright yellow on a blue background. The people who lived here were now vault dwellers : they would probably want to find their house clean, not looted. Miho smiled: they had cleaned their fridge and their closets already. She decided to write a little note. She went in search of a paper and a pen. She indicated the date and wrote:

 _"Hello. We went at your home to spend a night during our journey to Kumamoto. We cleaned your fridge and sorted your cans. Welcome back and welcome home._

 _Sincerely yours, Miho Nishizumi, Kinuyo Nishi and Alice Shimada, survivors of Vaults 49, 64 and 54"_

After landing the note on a worktop, she joined her lover who was sitting on the couch, waiting for her. Alice was a little further, as usual, and spent time outside with Dogmeat. Kinuyo glanced at the ginger and made some room for her. Miho laid down and rested her head on her beloved's lap.

"Are you okay, aren't you too stressed out?" she murmured.

"Actually, apart from the resentment towards Alice, I'm going pretty well", the brunette said. Although I miss them so much... I wish I could bring them back, so I could have someone."

"But... you still have me!", the short-haired gasped, suddenly afraid.

"Yes, but it's in a different way, and if you're no more here for any reason, I won't have anyone left. If I lose you, I have no reason to keep on going, or even living. What would I do alone with your sister that I barely know and with someone who dislikes me?"

"Fear not", whispered Miho. "If it doesn't work out with Alice, it could work better with Maho. And even... we've got plenty of time to meet potential allies once we'll be there. The only obstacle will be my mother, if she's still alive. But I'm never leaving you, even under family pressure, ever."

"My parents, probably, wouldn't say anything" Kinuyo replied. "They never asked me questions about my preferences. If I had liked a boy, it would have been the same. They didn't care too much about these things, as long as I could be happy. I can only imagine your plight..."

"I was almost disinherited once...", the ginger whispered in a shaky voice. "I don't want this to happen again. Maho saved me."

Kinuyo laid down as well, switched positions to be above Miho, and had a passionate smile. She looked at her tenderly and stroked her cheek.

"Who could reject such a lovely person?" she whispered. "Who'd do that, to be honest?"

"My mother", her lover replied, feeling her heart beating faster. "Only her."

"She clearly doesn't know what she's missing if she kicks you out..." the brunette muttered, her voice getting softer.

The latter raised her head and glanced over the couch, then looked back to Miho. She bent down and passionately kissed her, ending up lying on her. Miho, wanting to feel the sensation of their tongues entwining again, returned the gesture. She felt the brunette's hands going down to her hips. She stared into her eyes for a long moment, looking through the depths of her soul, her pupils getting bigger and bigger.

"But... are you sure it's not indecent to do it here?" the ginger nervously giggled, a little embarrassed, considering Alice's presence.

"Quickly and quietly, it will be okay. She won't hear a thing. She is so focused on her dog that she'll forget about us."

"Well... let's just hope she doesn't get inside at the wrong time."

The temperature started rising as the kisses were getting even hotter. Miho started to let her hands wander too, directing them to Kinuyo's breasts, making her blushing slightly and stifling a small moan. She felt the delicate touch of her lover on her inner thighs and was starting to go further... until a voice interrupted them.

"Miho! Have you checked if there was some dog food here?" called Alice, who seemed to get closer to the couch.

Kinuyo quickly closed her jacket, a bit surprised, and lifted her body from Miho's, looking frustrated and somewhat annoyed. The girl was soon to come. Her steps were approaching. Miho loudly said:

"No, there's not, the people who lived here had no pets. Are you hungry?"

The little girl stopped beside the couch. Once again, she didn't bother to glance at Kinuyo. The ginger hoped her slightly reddened complexion wasn't too noticeable. Alice didn't seem to have paid attention to it.

"Yes, my stomach has started gurgling", the blonde said. "Dogmeat can't stop agitating."

"I'll do what I have to", the brunette sighed. "Come with me, Miho."

"I'm coming after feeding the dog", she replied.

Alice came back to her dog. Miho and Kinuyo settled in the garden. They regretted not being able to light a barbecue, it would be rather nice on a summer evening like this. This could have been a way to make the two in conflict closer. Instead of a good grilled piece of meat, they would have rice for tonight. It was better than nothing.

The meal went good, though being very silent. At bedtime, Alice called for Miho. It was the second or third time since the beginning of their journey together : she was something to say! The ginger hoped she would ask her how to get along better with Kinuyo...

"Tell me, Miho, do you think we could revive the Boko Museum of Oarai?"

The short-haired girl was suddenly disappointed. She hoped too much for something that wouldn't happen.

"To be honest, I'm afraid we won't be able to", she whispered. "But we could rebuild it in Kumamoto. It will be your home to Kinuyo and you, and my home to me. We will move there and we will have our things. A new life, remember? We'll have Maho, we'll find your mother..."

"Good thing, there wasn't one in Kumamoto", Alice said. The closer to your hometown was the Fukuoka one... I saw it on a map where there were their locations displayed."

"Try to think about it tonight, okay?" Miho told her with a smile. "Sleep tight."

The redhead tucked the little girl. Dogmeat stared at her with his lovely black eyes. She gently tapped his head: he gave her a little lick on the hand. She left Alice, joining Kinuyo again.

"So, still nothing changed?" the brunette asked.

"No, we talked about Boko Museum", Miho said, sitting next to her lover. "She wants to revive it. I suggested that we do it in Kumamoto. That would be interesting."

"True, that would be nice", Kinuyo answered. "I might not be into Boko, but I hope I'll be able to help you."

"You may do the administrative stuff. I'd be a guide, and Alice would be the founder. You have your place in the project. You could share your work with Maho too!"

"Not a bad idea. After all, it would be a way to make her accept my presence. I only hope I won't have the same problem with Maho. In any case, I feel that Alice will always care more about Dogmeat."

"You know, she is very attached to him, and she's not a very social person, I told you", Miho replied. "Even to me, sometimes, she acts aloof. But I expect her to act this way, and it gets better after a while. She's a very special person."

"Yeah. I think we'll never be able to fix incompatibility, though", Kinuyo said. "As long as you're here, that's fine. Because nobody has been ever more important to me."

Miho smiled and leaned against the girl she loved so much. They remained still some time here, talking and cuddling under the starlight, and then got into the room and went to bed.

They needed to sleep: tomorrow would be a hard day.


	20. Chapter 19

**Author's note : Hello here ! I'm greeting you with some chocolate and milk tea. ~ I hope you're all feeling well and I hope working/studying isn't too hard for you. Well, don't skip school... I've got in trouble after one more time. Eh. It will be fine.**

 **Enjoy this chapter ! I'll try to make Chapter 20 come out very soon.**

* * *

 _"Call me irresponsible_  
 _Yes, I'm unreliable_  
 _But it's undeniably true_  
 _That I'm irresponsibly mad for you."_

 _\- Bobby Darin_

* * *

Miho woke next to her beloved Kinuyo this morning. They had slept in a real bed for once. A nice, comfortable, warm bed, with real bed sheets. The last time both of them had felt such a thing was before the war. On the night table, they had laid the urn, the dogtags and the Pip-Boys. The pillows were so comfortable, so cosy... She wanted to sleep all day just for that warmth, that comfort, the softness of the blankets. Kinuyo was still asleep, part of her long brown hair was falling on her shoulder, her slender body kept warm. She had such a pretty face, her features looked more rested after this night, as if she was relieved of something.  
Miho noticed how her girlfriend was thinner compared to before: she already had a slim nature, but long walks and rationed food had almost made her figure puny : she had lost several kilograms, perhaps. It was not that visible, except when one could see her whole body; her ribs protruded slightly more than before, but not as much as Tamada's when she was still alive. Her breasts were looking a bit smaller too. Miho also realized that she herself had lost weight: she felt her bones more clearly. Her belly looked flatter and her wrists were a little thinner than they used to. Her morphology had changed a tad, but it was just the new environment's effects... even if she thought she would have trouble actually recognizing herself if she looked in the mirror. In pictures, she still managed to identify with her own image, but how would things look like in the glass?

She got up and glanced at Kinuyo, who was still deeply sleeping. The light of dawn was lighting up her face. It would make a great picture. Miho regretted having to save the films, but couldn't resist the temptation. She looked in the bag and grabbed the instant camera, then turned to her lover. How many photographs of her would she have at the end of this long trip? She would have to put them in frames! Miho pressed the shutter button, waited for the picture to come out, shook it and looked at it : Kinuyo still asleep, her thin arms under the pillow, laying on her right side, her nude body covered by this white quilt, illuminated by a thick line of light. She would keep that one and show it to her when she would think of that. Before getting up to go to the bathroom, she stroked her still asleep girlfriend's head, then got dressed and walked through the door.

Miho had a hard time actually noticing the changes on her body. She was slightly paler. Her copper hair was a bit dull. Her cheekbones protruded a little, but not too much, it was barely noticeable. The most visible thing was this constant tired look. Long walks and stress didn't help. Even though she was looking better this morning because she had a fantastic night, she still had a slightly tired face. It was perhaps because she had just got up, though. She lifted her top up and glanced at her ribs. They were a bit more proeminent too, in fact. It wasn't to the point of emaciation, but she had lost weight as well. How was Maho, though? Was she in a state like hers? The ginger spent a moment looking at this face that had changed before hearing her lover getting up, then dressed.

"Did you sleep well, dear?" Kinuyo asked Miho before giving her a peck on the cheek.

"Yeah, it's for sure different from these nights under the stars", the redhead replied, smiling. "It had been a long time since we last slept in a real bed too."

"Too bad we can't stay here, this house is good", the brunette said. "We could have made ourselves at home more here, even if there will be the castle for that."

"There are already people who lived there and who ended up in a vault, I doubt it would please them to find three homeless girls squatting in their house", Miho said.

Kinuyo nodded.

"Well, come on, let's eat some. Alice must be awake... What time is it?"

"10 AM or so", Miho told. "I think she may have even already eaten."

The ginger followed her girlfriend downstairs. The blonde, who slept in the room next to theirs, was actually already up. She was playing with the dog outside, as always. It was usual. Kinuyo hoped that Alice would lift her head, turn to her and say hello: nay. She was still cold. Frustrated, the brunette sat down and remained silent. Miho, their morning rations in hand, walked outside.

"Hi Alice!" she loudly said. "Did you sleep well?"

"Hello! I've been fine, and you?"

"Night was good. Have you already had breakfast?"

"No, but I fed Dogmeat! In fact, we will soon have to replenish our stock, we have barely enough to stand for three days."

"Alright! We'll explore the city before leaving", Miho ended.

She went back inside. Kinuyo was waiting, her elbows on the table, looking pretty stressed. She turned her eyes to her. They were shining with pain. Miho, feeling bad about it, put the rations on the table and opened the boxes.

"She only has eyes for you..." the long-haired grumbled, her voice getting shaky. "Seems like I'm invisible again. I don't even exist in her mind."

"I don't know what to do, to be honest", the ginger sighed while sitting down. "All I can hope is that she'll come to you."

"You shouldn't delude yourself so much... Open your eyes. She hates me and purposely doing this to make me feel bad. I'm sure of it. It's not like I've ever been liked for something else than my appearance anyway."

"Don't be such paranoid, dear... she is simply shy..."

Kinuyo's gaze suddenly changed. It went firmer, as if she was beginning to feel the anger rising in her heart.

"Hey, this can't be just shyness when you're deliberately ignoring someone", she seethed. "The worst insult is being ignored. Always looking down on me... with these haughty eyes... as if she was superior to me, just because she skipped classes and because I dared to come with you. It's like I committed a crime by falling in love."

"...You may be right", Miho whispered, frightened.

Basically, it was true: why was Alice showing such contempt? The redhead hadn't bothered to ask herself this question; she bitterly regretted it. It was her fault if Kinuyo was feeling so bad, and it was all due to the illusions she had on the little girl. Miho felt her throat tightening.

"I'm sorry", she breathed.

"It's fine... don't worry, I'm not angry at you... it's because of her..."

They had breakfast in a somewhat tense atmosphere, though calmed by the mutual affection they felt for each other. Miho was afraid of what could happen. Kinuyo had almost got upset, considering the fact that she wasn't easily angered, it was for sure a bad sign. Not for their relationship, but for the fact that the issues with Alice were stressing her out. Miho greatly feared what could happen after. But what was she able to do...? Nothing was actually possible to fix things between them...

They departed a little later after tidying up, packing up their stuff and cleaning the house, then searched around homes for supplies. If there was a vault flyer, they left. If there was anything, they took. They hoped not to steal from someone who had survived without a vault flyer in their home, though. Their journey was still peaceful despite the coldness of Alice, the stress endured by Kinuyo and Miho's concern. The only one who wasn't affected by something negative was Dogmeat. He continued to play and have fun without worrying about what was around him. He also continued to bring them food that was laying around. Ah, Dogmeat... he was such a cute and funny dog.

They had reached Koigawa when they felt the need to stop. The land had likely trembled: lots of the houses had collapsed, the majority no longer held up; finding a shelter was impossible. There was a small canal, but they also couldn't settle here. They finally landed their luggage under a bridge. After all, no more cars would pass there. The asphalt would be uncomfortable, but it was better than being unable to find a place to sleep. At least, they had one.

Miho wondered if she would be able to make Kinuyo and Alice communicate a bit more tonight. She thought on her ideas. Her girlfriend was looking for what they were going to eat this evening, while the blonde went to get wood for the fire. That would probably be an opportunity to create a dialogue between them. The redhead hoped with all her heart for a good outcome.

Kinuyo was taking the small saucepan out when Alice brought the wood. The little girl looked at her straight in the eyes.

"Nishi-san, this time, try not to burn what you cook", she said. Remember not to drift off into your head, or else it won't taste good."

The brunette was speechless. It was the first time she saw the little girl coming to someone. She was even shocked. She didn't even call her by her first name. No. It was Nishi-san, not Kinuyo, as anyone would have called her when they'd be together for a long trip. She felt her stomach wrenching and her throat feel strange. She called for Miho, suddenly taken by an overwhelming nausea.

"Prepare the meal tonight, please", Kinuyo let out in a weak voice.

"Is everything alright?" Miho worried. "When you'll have eaten some, you'll feel better..."

"Don't talk to me about eating, really..", the long-haired whispered, sitting down further. "I don't feel well at all..."

"What is happening? Explain to me!"

Kinuyo had went slightly paler. She had put a hand on her stomach, seeming in pain. Miho took her wrist and felt it. Her pulse was going fast... way too fast. She turned her eyes to the redheaded girl, her voice trembling as she was talking.

"...Alice spoke to me, and doesn't even call me by my first name. I don't know why she went to me just for telling me how bad my cooking is, and said it in such a haughty tone..."

She stopped, desperately trying not to be too taken over by her emotions, then resumed:

"She makes me sick... that manner of always treating me like rubbish..."

Miho took Kinuyo's hand.

"You can sleep if you don't feel well, you know. You will eat later, it doesn't matter."

"It's okay, don't worry. Once it will have come out, it will get better... even if I have nothing in the stomach apart from perhaps some bile, it has to come out. But please, really, take charge of the meal, she must be hungry."

Reluctantly, the ginger walked away. Kinuyo was curled up, pale and tense, and her eyes were staring anguishly at the floor. So many negative waves... it was starting to affect her badly.

During the meal, the little girl remained silent until Miho initiated the conversation again.

"Hey, Alice... Listen, I have something to tell you. About Kinuyo."

"What's the matter? Is she ill? You, at least, you cook properly."

"I'm not kidding... you're hurting her", Miho murmured. "A lot."

"What do you mean? I just told her not to burn the dinner tonight and told her how I thought about the quality of her cooking", Alice hissed. "That's no big deal."

"Listen to me, Alice", the redhead firmly said, feeling sadness growing. "Kinuyo, from the beginning, wants to connect with you. But on your side, you reject her, you ignore her, you whisper crap about her to Dogmeat, you refuse to speak to her no matter what happens or you just tell her things that will end up hurting her, do you understand why she's feeling so bad now?"

"I don't see where the problem is. She was never supposed to be here. Never. I had to be with you and only you. There was no mention of her."

"There are things we can't control in life, such as love and meetings", Miho replied. I never knew I was going to become her partner, it just came, there's no explanation to it. You have to respect her as much as you respect me. If this continues, I'll end up sick too."

"Why should I respect a girl who isn't even able to develop a damn decent strategy in tankery and who can't even prevent her teammates from foolishly charging at the nearest enemy?" Alice scornfully said. "She's so stupid that it hurts. I don't know how you can stand such a person."

Miho felt a pain across her chest. The little girl had no right to say such things. At the same time, she saw Kinuyo getting up and going farther, looking worse than before, and disappearing behind the bridge. She knew what was going to happen. She guessed that the little girl's words were the straw that broke the camel's back.

"Please, Alice, make an effort, otherwise it won't be working", Miho said, upset. "I forbid you to talk to her that way, do you understand? And from tonight, you'll stop hurting her. Maybe her school wasn't the best, but as a person, she's wonderful. You really don't know what you're missing, really. You're missing a great load of affection!"

The blonde didn't answer, sighed and continued eating. Dogmeat went towards where Kinuyo had gone. Miho finished her meal and then went to join her. The dog was sniffing the ground, just near the small canal. The brunette was leaning against a wall and getting her breath back. She had regained some colours. The redhead put a hand on her back.

"Are you okay?" she whispered.

"Yes... it feels better once it comes out."

"You heard us..."

"I couldn't bear it... couldn't stand how she was talking behind my back, thinking I wouldn't hear her", the long-haired said. "It's truly sickening. Her attitude repelled me."

"Do you want to eat some? Do you think you'll be able to keep it down?"

"Yes, I'll try", Kinuyo replied. "In the worst case, I'll stop. But I prefer to wait until she's sleeping before eating anything, it's better. A priori, I won't throw up once again, but better safe than sorry."

"Right, I'll keep your part of the meal", Miho ended.

When Alice went to sleep a little farther, Kinuyo could finally eat. It went well, her stomach seemed to tolerate it: she just needed to release stress. She couldn't take such behavior. Miho hoped that the little girl would change a bit after this discussion, even if she had serious doubts about it. Dogmeat, as usual, went to sleep beside the blond, his head on her hips. The ginger wanted her to do her part of the deal. They had more than 500 kilometers left to cover, and at this rate, everyone would have mentally snapped before they'd reached half of it.

They went to bed a little later tonight, seized with thoughts, and still more concerned about this situation...


	21. Chapter 20

**Author's note : Told you this chapter would come soon. How are you ? I'm feeling better. Autumn break is going to start on October 19th, which means more time to relax, write, translate, draw, and maaaany other things.~ I'm starting the original version of Chapter 32 right now.**

 **Wait, 20 chapters translated already?! Wow, that's a good number!**

 **Enjoy this one.~**

* * *

 _"What did they do_  
 _Just when everything looked so dark?"_  
 _\- Bing Crosby_

* * *

The evening had been tense. In the morning, Alice didn't even say hello to Kinuyo; Miho had to tell her to do so. The blonde, reluctantly, had done it. The Chihatan commander had kept silent, though. She hadn't been sick a second time during the night, it was already a good point.

They were now back on the road. On the road again. Always on the road. Footsteps, footsteps, and footsteps. That was what made up one day. Getting up, eating, walking, possibly taking a break in case of tiredness, occasionally eating a little when possible, walking, finding a shelter, spending the evening in this refuge, eating and sleeping. A full cycle. All this in a single day. It was as stimulating as monotonous. The landscape weren't always similar: sometimes they were in isolated areas, sometimes in abandoned cities, or in places devastated by an earthquake, as here. It was rare on the northern coast, but they could still occur, and they had. In a country with such seismic risk, it was impossible that there wouldn't be one at a moment. Anyway, the last one had occured three months ago or less. Maybe was it a consequence of the Niigata bomb. Such a violent explosion... the impact was significant.

Miho, along the way, felt a strange sensation. She saw kinds of bright, scintillating arcs, at the corner of her eye. They had started pretty gentle, but were getting more and more present, making her uncomfortable. Her vision wasn't clear, but normal beyond these things' borders: she was struggling to clearly distinguish what was in this flickering zone. She thought it was the light: after all, perhaps her eyes were just hurt by this bright sun? Perhaps the heat had a bad effect on her. She hoped it wasn't a heatstroke ; that'd the last straw! She pressed Kinuyo's hand. Her lover turned her head.

"Is anything wrong?" she asked.

"Can we stop for a while?" Miho murmured. "I've got sight issues..."

"Sight issues?" the brunette said, surprised. "You mean something's wrong with your eyes?"

"I'll explain later", the ginger whispered.

She sat on the ground. Alice joined them, followed by Dogmeat, as usual. He sniffed Miho and licked her face. She gently put a hand on his head.

"Are you okay, Miho?" the blonde questioned.

"It's her eyes that don't seem to work properly", Kinuyo growled, deeply irritated, and starting to lose control of her words. "No doubts, it's another consequence of your bratty behaviour. After turning my stomach, you messed up her sight. Maybe one day you'll cause her a stroke. We'd be two murderers. Are you satisfied?"

"Kinuyo, stop it", Miho sighed. "Don't add fuel to the fire, please... It's useless to fight over that."

The Oarai captain started to feel better. She looked up. Kinuyo stared at her, seeming worried. Alice remained impassive, still with a hand on her dog.

"I'm fine now", she muttered. "We can leave."

"Tell me if anything goes wrong again", the brunette said.

"Don't worry... it's okay..."

Soon, the trio were back on the road. They would soon have to stop. They were walking since the morning. Was it fatigue that had caused these little problems? Miho thought she might need to rest. Neither Alice nor Kinuyo had such problems. Perhaps it was caused by stress as well... After all, her girlfriend was the only one to be sick the night before, and it was all from the anxiety generated by the little girl's deplorable behaviour. Miho felt increasingly powerless. She ended up telling herself she'd have to accept the situation as it was and stop making meaningless efforts. Kinuyo had thrown in the towel, after all... she had ceased believing she'd get along with her one day. Miho was sad to know that the person she loved the most in this world and one of her closest friends weren't as close as she wanted them to be. Alice didn't give Kinuyo a chance. Miho had planned a wonderful future, to finally see that the only things that came out of this idea were stress and multiple conflicts. And what would it be with Maho? The ginger wanted to go in the future to know what Kinuyo would have to do to be accepted by her sister. Maho wasn't the type of person to feel hate, but maybe she'd have a hard time integrating her to the family. The question that was bothering her even more was her mother. Was she still alive? Maybe Chiyo Shimada wasn't... but it was possible that Shiho Nishizumi was. Vault 80 wasn't that far from their home, after all.

But as the road progressed, Miho felt more tired than usual. She was beginning to see these bright spots again. It was weird. What was happening? It didn't feel right to her. Her vision had blurred again. Luckily, they arrived in a city. They'd stop here for this night. Miho looked at a sign. Takahama. It would be their one night home. The city wasn't completely destroyed, unlike a little farther: the epicenter of the earthquake was likely elsewhere. What was mysterious was that half the buildings were still holding up. Miho shook Kinuyo's hand again. They quickly made sure to find the place where they would spend the night. They stopped in a house. Here, no vault flyer: the people there might have had an unhappy ending. In any case, it was deserted and dusty.

The short-haired girl thought she would cry when she walked through the door. Just in front of it, there was the dessicated corpse of a calico she-cat. It wasn't smelly: it was simply completely dry. The animal appeared to have died from starvation. Miho couldn't help but imagine how this poor little one had been left alone, desperately meowing and calling her owners, and had to feel the thirst and hunger killing her slowly... Kinuyo gently stroked her girlfriend's back. She glanced at Alice, then walked into the house. The girl stared at the cat's body on the floor before following them.

Dogmeat played with the dead animal. The blonde told him to go outside with it. Miho felt exhausted. All this affected her greatly ; she found herself crying in one of the rooms. Kinuyo was sitting by her side, feeling that something was wrong. The felt her head starting to ache badly. Very badly. A throbbing and piercing pain. Every second, she felt as if someone was driving a nail in the right side of her skull. She wasn't crying only because of what she had just seen, but also because of the pain. And she felt hot. So hot. Kinuyo was increasingly worried. She laid down beside her, gently stroking her lover's painful head.

"Do you want me to get you something to drink? It's hot, you're probably dehydrated..." she whispered.

Miho didn't answer, too busy bearing the pain that was destroying her head.

"Going to help you", Kinuyo said.

The brunette found a piece of cloth and went into the kitchen downstairs. She passed it under cold water, then went back upstairs with it. She felt her heart racing. What happened to Miho? Was it a heatstroke? A migraine? Too much stress? She didn't know and was more and more scared. What if she was seriously ill? What if she died, like...?

Miho was still on the bed, lying on her stomach, her eyes looking somewhat glassy. She was covered in sweat. Her partner turned her, making her lay on her back, then tilted her head slightly upwards and put the wet cloth on her forehead. She laid down beside her again.

"Kinuyo... what's wrong with me?" the short-haired moaned, unable to calm down.

"How are you feeling?" the brunette whispered, anxious.

"It's like someone is hammering my head...", she whispered. "And I'm hot... Ask Alice to bring me some water, please..."

Kinuyo shivered. She would have to talk to the blonde girl who seemed to hate her so much. She hoped not to feel bad just after because of stress. Still, she wanted her beloved Miho's good. She nodded and stood up, then walked down the stairs.

"Alice!" she called.

"What do you want, Nishi-san?" the younger one mumbled a little farther.

Kinuyo took a deep breath, trying to calm her annoyance.

"It's Miho. She's not feeling well. Can you bring a glass of water upstairs while I take care of her?"

"And can't you do this yourself?"

This was too much for Kinuyo. She approached, grabbed the girl and looked straight into her eyes.

"Alice Shimada, listen to me. It's about Miho's health. She might have a heat stroke, and that kind of thing can be fatal. I can't be everywhere at the same time, so if you want her to live or at least feel better, put in a little of effort and stop thinking you're the queen."

The girl didn't say a word, but seemed to understand. She scowled at the brunette, then found a glass in the cupboard and filled it with water. She went upstairs with it. Kinuyo discreetly followed her and watched what was happening in the room. Alice was in front of the bed and spoke to Miho, who was answering when she could. It was a horrible feeling to see her loved one in such a state. Kinuyo entered the room and went back on the bed. Alice left the room at that time.

Miho seemed to feel less hot, but her head was still hurting. She had drunk a little, though.

"Are you okay? Don't you feel sick?" Kinuyo whispered.

"No... but my head... my head... it's horrible... it's just so painful... can you close the blinds, please?"

The brunette nodded. She closed them and went back to lie down with the one she loved. The redhead still had a hand on her head, but looked a little more comfortable.

"I don't think I'll eat anything tonight", she breathed. "I'm not hungry."

"I'll stay beside you, don't worry, darling... Everything will be alright..."

"You have to take care of Alice", Miho murmured. "Give her something to eat, and have some food too..."

"I can't eat with all this anxiety on my mind", Kinuyo whispered. "I refuse to feed myself until you're feeling better."

"Don't starve yourself for me", the ginger replied. "You have to get some strength as well."

"It's not even a matter of will. I won't be able to eat. I will have thrown up in the next 30 minutes if I do. You've seen how stress gets on my guts last evening."

"You really have to get food, Kinuyo... It's not good to deprive yourself this way, especially for me."

The long-haired got up.

"I'm going to ask Alice if she's hungry, and also feed Dogmeat. If something's wrong, call me."

"Yeah..." Miho ended.

Kinuyo went downstairs. She looked at the blonde who was sitting on the couch with the dog lying at her feet. Despite the huge lump she had in her throat, the brunette managed to say:

"Are you hungry, Alice?"

Little turned his gaze.

"Yes, I'm hungry", she answered as coldly as usual.

"I'll see what's available here. Wait here, will you?"

She walked to the supplies bag and mentally listed all the things that were there. The majority of what they had taken during in houses was here. For the dog, there would be some corned beef. And for Alice, she decided to take a can of sardines. After all, she wasn't going to bust her guts cooking for that spoiled and snotty child. She opened the can and put it on the table with a pair of chopsticks.

"Have this, it's your dinner", she said. "If you don't like it, well, so much the worse for you. It's not my problem if we don't h-"

"Let's talk about something else", Alice interrupted. "What's wrong with Miho?"

Kinuyo, shocked, sat down beside her. Maybe it was the beginning of a genuine dialogue...?

"I don't know... Everything makes me think she has a migraine, but it might be a sunstroke... Some people in my surroundings suffered from migraine, their state was similar, except that they weren't feeling so hot."

"But she'll survive, right?" whispered the blonde.

"If I recall good, migraine can't kill you, but heatstroke can... She shall be fine, I think, but I'm staying beside her, just in case."

"And did your friends have this too?"

Kinuyo felt her throat tightening. She swallowed painfully, feeling tears pricking her eyes.

"I...I don't feel like talking about this now", she murmured. "I'll tell you about them later, when I'll have fully got over their death."

"I hope Miho won't kick the bucket soon", Alice said. "If she ever dies, I'd rather go back to the vault than spend more time with you."

Deeply hurt, the brunette didn't say anything. She stood up and went back upstairs. Miho was still lying on the bed. She turned her eyes to her.

"So? Could you talk?"

"Normal conversation, she asked me about what you were suffering from, it went okay until she mentioned my friends and broke me once again", Kinuyo sighed, sitting down next to Miho on the bed. "She told me that if you died, she would rather go back to the vault than stay with me. Of course, I wouldn't be welcome. She prefers to return to that hell instead of supporting me."

"And I told her to be correct with you... I don't know what happens to her. She may be jealous, actually..."

"Jealous? She doesn't love you the same way I do. Or maybe I've missed something."

"Well", said Miho, "I'm not talking about that kind of love. She didn't know, that's true, that we'd end up together before we meet her... I think she's frustrated because she can't have me alone. But I won't leave you because of that... she has to get over her frustration."

"I'm not sure she'd do it", Kinuyo anxiously replied. "If her goal is to push me to my limits to the point I get a nervous breakdown, she's not far from it. But if her actual wish is to see me going away from here, well, I'm not leaving."

"She's only twelve... still a child, you know. Children are sometimes cruel", the ginger sadly answered. "But she means too much to me, and I can't see myself betraying her..."

"I can understand that", her girlfriend replied. "Never do it to anybody. I did... and I regret it. My poor little Fukuda..."

"Try to forget about it, okay? I'll try to get some sleep... maybe my pain will decrease or go away, eventually", Miho said.

"I'll remain here", Kinuyo gently murmured, stroking her lover's copper hair. "Sleep well..."

She gave her a kiss on the lips, delicate as always. Until the ginger fell asleep, she held her hand and caressed her head, then went to put fresh water on the wet cloth before putting it back on her forehead. The night was going to be sleepless for the Chihatan commander.


	22. Chapter 21

**Author's note : Hello my dearies! I hope you're all feeling well. On my side, things are going to be alright since I'm on holidays soon. More time to write and translate, and I'll have some rest too. I have to get a grip on myself instead of skipping school.**

 **Enjoy this chapter ! Next one might come later... but I'll try to make it come out this week.~**

 **WARNING : This chapter contains violence.**

* * *

 _"Although we are oceans apart  
_ _I can't make you open your heart  
_ _But I can dream  
_ _Can't I?"_

 _\- The Andrews Sisters_

* * *

 **PART 4 : KANSAI**

* * *

Miho opened her eyes. That headache was gone. She felt the sensation of the cold, wet cloth on her forehead. The light was still dimmed by the lowered blinds. There was no sound; she could just feel a presence against her. She looked over her shoulder ; Kinuyo had fallen asleep after probably spending hours looking after her, and likely without realizing it. Miho turned on her other side and gently stroked her cheek. The brunette painfully opened her eyes, then started up.

"Is everything alright?" she exclaimed, seeming suddenly panicked. "You're not feeling bad, at least? Tell me everything that's wrong, please..."

"Calm down", Miho whispered with a chuckle. "I feel better..."

"Phew... good", Kinuyo sighed in relief, looking up. "I don't know for how long I've slept... I spent most of the night taking care of you. I think I was still up at 3 AM. Alice went to bed around 11 PM, once again without saying good night or even going to see you."

"You're cute", the redhead softly said. "You're far from being perfect, but I don't need perfection..."

Miho got up and kissed her.

"Thank you for watching over me all night, even though it seems to have really exhausted you."

"No problem", Kinuyo murmured. "I'd not be able to bear it if something happened to you."

"Come on, maybe we shall eat a little now. We should walk less today, just as a precaution. It won't be a day like the others."

They went downstairs. No noise down, oddly. Alice was surely still asleep. Dogmeat got up and came to them, asking for some cuddling. He covered their faces in licks. He was so happy to see them! At least, he'd have some company. After all, maybe the little blonde was tired. It could happen. It wasn't a problem. They would eat something and possibly give her some if she happened to come during their breakfast.

This is what occured: when they had just finished their rations, Alice came from her room, her eyes looking somewhat blank. She had just woken up and got ready. She, once again, gave a contemptuous glance to Kinuyo, then quickly grinned at Miho.

"Was your night good, Alice?" the brunette asked.

"A fine one", she coldly let out while sitting.

"Smile at me, please?" Kinuyo replied, feeling irritated, though she convinced herself she had given up trying to talk to the blonde. "Just a little? You look upset. Look, Miho is better! Doesn't this make you happy?"

Alice was tempted to respond with something insulting, yet stayed silent.

"Don't you want to show your happiness to Miho? Come on, smile for her. Once again. A large one this time, please. That way, she'll know you're happy."

"Nevermind, Kinuyo", the ginger sighed. "She will grin if she wants. Don't force her to do so."

The long-haired captain remained silent and started eating, not feeling too bad either. The important thing was that her girlfriend had got better. She was already more or less used to the idea of never getting along with Alice, after all. It was over... well, that was what she was trying to tell herself.

They left soon after. The weather was quite clear today and, for once, not too hot. It felt heavy, though... A storm would soon burst, there was no doubt. They hoped it wouldn't be when they'd be outside. It would be dangerous if the weather started messing around. Would there be radioactive dust storms? This could have devastating consequences on their health. It would be better to find a shelter, and a good one during these times.  
Even the rain couldn't be trusted... in a country where three bombs were dropped one day, especially only after four months, this kind of trivial weather phenomenon could be potentially fatal. The rain... the deadly rain... Full of deadly radioactive materials and chemicals that were involved in the birth of these killer triplets. Lethat radioactive rain full of chemicals... it was such a scary thought. Not finding a shelter in time when there would be rain could spell the end of their journey. And little Dogmeat could be poisoned by lapping in a puddle! No, he'd never meet the same fate as Tamada. Never. Kinuyo and Miho had taken a porcelain bowl in the house from which they came, in Takahama. They would feed and water him in it. It would be much cleaner than on the ground, and he wasn't likely to accidentally cut himself with the edge of a tin.

As Miho said this morning, this day would be a special one. They stopped in Maizuru. Finally Kansai region... Each one was a step for them. The next would be Chugoku. They had walked half of what they usually traveled to allow the ginger to rest after the violent headache that had bedridden her the whole evening and night. Kinuyo clearly remembered it. Only thinking about the suffering of her beloved filled her with fear again. And what if it happened again tonight? She forced herself to think about something else to avoid stressing herself more.  
Alice was rather calm, or at least it seemed so. No emotions were showing on her face, that's what made communication even more difficult. However, Miho knew she had feelings, they were just well hidden... but what was going on in the mind of this enigmatic girl? Even if she was her friend, she never truly knew. Sometimes, especially according to what happened, Miho wondered if she hadn't made a mistake. Was that a jealous Alice, or the real Alice? She preferred to still give her a chance: after all, as long as she wasn't openly and intentionally evil, it was acceptable. She might have hurt Kinuyo several times, it wouldn't stop her from being her friend. Far from there. It was her personality. It probably wasn't her fault if she couldn't get along with the brunette.

The house they had chosen for this night was an odd one. Its exterior was decorated with red brick at the bottom and painted in yellow on top! Unusual. Miho didn't like the contrast that much, but the building was solid and the door had been opened. The house's decoration didn't mattered little when it was going to serve as a shelter for the night and maybe morning...

They landed their bags on the floor. While Kinuyo and Miho were upstairs see what was on the upper floor, Alice thought back to that strange candy tin... What could be in it, after all? And why was the brunette sometimes holding it close to her heart, her eyes looking somewhat lost? Who were the owners of these dogtags? Hers were always there, around her neck. She sat down, wanting to take a look in the metal box. After all, no one was watching... she was safe.

Alice grabbed the tin and opened the small top. It was a bit rusty, like the upper side of the can.  
She sniffed it. It smelt strange, like dust... ash! But what were the ashes doing in this box?  
She suddenly felt a presence beside her. At the same time, the air seemed to cool down, becoming even..freezing. Was it her imagination or a real feeling? Yet, apart from the two who were still there, there was nobody around.  
She put a finger in the tin's hole. Indeed, ashes. They had an almost normal texture, but some were whiter and bigger than the others, much like... small bone fragments... She was going to tilt the box to put a little of ash in her hand when she was interrupted by a scream.

"Alice?! GIVE ME THAT BOX RIGHT NOW!"

Surprised, she turned her head. Kinuyo was rushing down the stairs, her eyes filled with rage.  
Alice, with a start, dropped the top, and also failed to spill ash. Miho came from behind, shocked. A little farther, she could distinctly see a pale shape trying to hold the brunette, but it quickly faded. Kinuyo crouched and took the tin in her hand, then glanced at the ground. Some ashes had fallen. She took that small pinch and put it back in the tin before closing it, teary-eyed and breathing heavily. She placed it on the table, trying to calm down, trying to take deep breaths one by one, but it didn't seem to work ; her whole body was getting uptight.

Before she could think of anything, Alice felt Kinuyo's hand slapping her with such violence that she fell to the ground. She could hear Dogmeat yelping and barking farther. She barely had time to realize what happened when she found the brunette on her. Kinuyo, completely losing it, smashed the blonde's head to the ground before catching her throat with her hands, trying to strangle her. Alice tried to breathe in vain, feeling Kinuyo's grip becoming stronger and stronger. She was so enraged that her eyes were empty, just full of blind rage, like a wild beast, and her lips were drawing a mad, wrathful grin. Her knees were pressing the little girl's pale arms, as if to crush them, or if she couldn't, to cut the bloodstream. Kinuyo, this girl who had been patient for such a long period of time and got angry perhaps once in 50 years, had lost control, taken over by such a rage that she could kill someone.  
Miho ran to her girlfriend and fiercely slapped her; it calmed her down immediately. The brunette released Alice, got up and walked a few steps back, shaken by the slap.

"NEVER RAISE YOUR HAND TO HER!" Miho roared. "Understood?"

Kinuyo, covering her right cheek, was painfully shaking, looking both lost and guilty.

"I..'m..I'm sorry... couldn't take what she did...", she whispered, unable to hold back her tears.

She leaned against the wall, violently shivering, barely able to move, and started crying her eyes out. Miho, feeling bad, went to her.

"Did I hurt you?... I'm the one who must apologize, dear..."

"Excuse me...", the brunette gasped, "I... I couldn't tolerate this... she touched Tamada... My poor Tamada... it's not your fault, Miho, it's me... it is I who lost it... so many things held back for a long time... I'm so sorry, my Miho..."

Alice stared at them from a distance, still a little stunned and feeling the strange presence, this coldness around her. She thought she saw the shape Miho had seen in the back of the room; it was watching them, its head down, then approached Kinuyo and hugged her tightly. The brunette turned around : there was nothing. The pale shape had suddenly disappeared. Miho embraced her and buried her head in her lover's hair. Kinuyo couldn't stop her tears from flowing freely.  
Alice started to feel something in herself. A negative feeling. She looked at the tin, then glanced at Miho's beloved. She had hit the bull's eye. She felt truly bad for what she had just done. She hesitated to come closer, however. True, why would she suddenly come to her in a friendly attitude after spending all this time despising, hating Kinuyo Nishi, that fool from Chihatan who had no sense of real strategy, who was thick as two planks, and who had taken Miho away, especially?  
Alice didn't know what to do. She was completely lost too... Kinuyo had tried to kill her, but she would have never done such a thing in normal times. She just snapped and completely lost it on a sudden moment of huge stress. She didn't know who Tamada was, too... was she the one who was resting in that box? Was she the ghost that appeared from time to time? She would ask Miho about it. Perhaps it was better to avoid interacting with Kinuyo few days, giving her some space and time to appease her anger.

Without a word, the brunette went upstairs. The redhead told her that she would join her, then walked to Alice.

"I'm sorry for her behaviour... you know she's not in her best state", Miho murmured. "You know, she had lost her friends... and that tin..."

"Who is Tamada?" the blonde questioned, still a little in shock.

"She was one of her two friends who escaped Vault 64 with her", the ginger explained. "The other one was Hosomi... I didn't really know her, I just found some remains of her body and her dogtag. But Tamada was all that remained to Kinuyo... she suffered so much when she left us..."

"She left? You mean...?"

"Yeah, she died shortly after I met her. I had just passed the border of Tochigi Prefecture, near Mooka. She had radiation sickness. Her death was very hard to take... and to Kinuyo, it's still an open wound, even if she starts to feel a little better. And the fact that you touched that box hurt her very badly. It's as if you desecrated Tamada's body. Her ashes are inside the tin..."

Alice didn't answer right away. She felt guilty.

"I've done so many bad things lately", she breathed. "I was jealous, I feel as if you were stolen from me, and I'm likely blaming her for that... because from the beginning, I didn't like her, I found her too silly."

"Still, you know, she isn't as foolish as she can seem sometimes", Miho said. "She may be a bit reckless at times, especially if she's pressured, but it's her personality. I love her for what she is. You should apologize. I think it would please her to see that you can be nice to her."

"Do you think she'll let me speak to her after what just happened?" Alice muttered. "She will never want to apologize. She's mad at me."

"You know, after so much time she spent trying to establish some communication with you, I think she'll be delighted and it'll cheer her up" the redhead softly told. "Your cheek is a bit red... she didn't pull her punches. But how can one control oneself under the influence of such a lot of emotion?..."

Alice still remained silent again, not knowing what to say. She got up and went to her Dogmeat, who seemed a little perturbated. Miho went upstairs. In the corner of her eye, she could see the blonde girl squeezing her dog against her. She felt bad for both. It was her own fault. She had let them fight, did nothing, knew it would happen one day but stayed passive, and she was responsible. If she had intervened earlier, tried to reconcile them by compelling them to communicate, things might have been different. She blamed herself so much. Kinuyo was hurt and so was Alice, again because of her own foolishness. She pushed the bedroom door. Her lover, still trembling, was there and turned her eyes to her.

"Come on... it's nothing, don't worry", Miho whispered before kissing her cheek.

"I wonder if I'm still worthy of your love", Kinuyo sighed. "I almost killed her... I nearly murdered the one that is like a little sister to you."

"If I was angry at you, I would have broken up", the short-haired replied. "But I know how you were stressed out, sweetheart... I've told you, you're far from being perfect, but I don't need perfection... I just need you and only you."

"You can never imagine how I need you too, Miho... I need your love... maybe this is the only thing that keeps me up now that I've nothing left..."

Miho got closer to her beloved's face and kissed her affectionately. Kinuyo, taken by her emotions, hugged her even more tightly, almost to the point of squeezing. She put her hands in her ginger hair, not wanting to let go at any moment, only craving for warmth and closeness. She spent a long time pressing her lips against Miho's, too shaken and hurt to ask for alone time.

When time for dinner came, a little later, almost no words were heard. Alice still hesitated to apologize, afraid of a possible backlash. Kinuyo didn't even glance at her anymore. She wanted to be with Miho above everything else, trying to heal her reopened wound. The blonde saw the pale figure again. It walked into the room and watched from a distance. It turned its head towards her. The little girl pretended to have seen nothing, but nevertheless felt terrified inside. What if that thing would hurt her? She would have a hard time going to bed to avoid being potentially attacked in her sleep. However, fatigue was felt, especially after such a time, and she went to bed first. Miho and Kinuyo went to sleep a little later, as usual.

The ginger was trying to relativize. They were in Kyoto Prefecture... there were only two regions left; Chugoku and Kyushu. Soon... soon, she'd find Maho... she hoped it with all her heart. Tomorrow would probably be a better day.


	23. Chapter 22

**Author's note : Hello here! It didn't take much longer as I expected it to take, actually. I'm in vacation now. It feels good to be relieved of school stress...**

 **Enjoy this one!**

* * *

 _"All of me_  
 _Why not take all of me_  
 _Can't you see_  
 _I'm no good without you"_

 _\- Frank Sinatra_

* * *

Miho felt something tapping her on the shoulder. She groggily opened her eyes. She could hear the sound of the drenching rain outside. Finally, that storm had broken out. The thunder was growling. Then, her shoulder was tapped again, and it seemed stronger. This time, she awoke. Kinuyo, completely helpless, was staring at her with her eyes wide-open. She was breathless and looked terrified.

"What's wrong...? Is it the storm that makes you nervous?"

"No... it...i-it's not-"

Miho realized that her girlfriend had trouble speaking. She couldn't catch her breath; it was rapid and shallow, and her mouth seemed dry after being open for so long. Kinuyo tried to talk again, but no sound came out. She was uncontrollably shaking, and it was worse than when she was thinking about her friends' death. She could barely move, just like before bursting into tears earlier. She was kneeling on the bed, her hand on her chest, gasping for air as if she had to sprint for three kilometers. Miho approached her.

"M-Mih...ho..help...-m-me", she panted, barely able to pronounce a word correctly. "I-I'm..gon-na d.."

"It's okay... I know it doesn't work to tell people to calm down... but try to take deep breaths, love..." Miho whispered, trying to soothe her. "You're having a panic attack..."

"C-Can't... b...breathe..."

The ginger put an arm around her tense and trembling body. Paralyzed by anxiety, Kinuyo couldn't relax. She looked at her partner, her eyes seeming completely lost and helpless, desperate, and the storm didn't help, making her jump at every scream of thunder. Miho felt the brunette's wrist. Her racing heart was pounding so hard that she almost could hear it from the outside and every beat was thumping against her veins. Her breath was still fast, at such a pace that she had to swallow, hoping it would slow it down a bit, but couldn't. She tried to cough, to do something, but no. Useless attempts.

"I'm..I'm g-g..gonna...f-faint... i-it... hurts..."

"Try again... come on, breathe in and out... gently... You're not going to faint... you don't have to worry, I'm here..."

It was likely the first time Kinuyo was experiencing such an attack, or if she had ones in the past, such a strong one. Still overwhelmed by the emotions of the day, it was probably this that caused her that horrible thing. Miho, having already had the experience twice or even three times, knew it felt horrendous, terrifying, but it was actually benign. She kept on comforting her... and took nearly an hour to calm her down.  
Kinuyo was so tired that she fell asleep almost immediately after, although her posture was still a little bit tense. Miho laid down on her and heard her heart beating. It had stopped accelerating like crazy, at least. She would keep her ear there... just to be soothed and reassured. She wouldn't tell Alice about that tomorrow. The blow had been so strong...

In the morning, when they opened their eyes, it was still raining. The thunder had stopped. The sky was full of clouds, which were shades of grey, sometimes tinted with some Prussian blue. At least, the lightning had stopped tearing the sky. A little under the impact of what had happened that night, the lovers had no desire to get up. It was more laziness than tiredness... after such an event, they both preferred to relax in bed.  
Miho looked at the time on the Pip-Boy. 8:00 AM. They had gone to bed around midnight but had no idea about when they were awake during the night. The main thing was that it had got better. Kinuyo seemed calmer and way less tense. Miho put her head on her partner's chest and closed her eyes.

"I really thought I was going to die", the brunette whispered. "I even felt dizzy... as if I was truly suffocating."

"When it happened to me, I had the same feeling, but actually, it's nothing too serious... it's just so terrible to feel that I don't wish it to anyone to experience this. You're never going to faint or die, but your body feels like it and it's a downward spiral... I understand how you felt."

"I'd rather not imagine what could have happened if you hadn't been there", she whispered. "It had never happened to me before... but only a bad dream was enough to wake me up in such a state."

"A dream? What have you dreamt of?" Miho asked.

"Hosomi was here... but she was half-rotten. I remember the smell, the feels... She was truly scary. She kept following me and always appeared before me, I wanted to run away, but I was trapped, and you know how I'm scared to be trapped... Her mouth was wide open and her jaw was split in the middle. I remember her tongue was purplish, swollen and hanging, and I think the worst thing was her eyes. Eyesockets, rather. She was so decayed that she was barely recognizable."

"Oh my God", the redheaded girl shivered. "Only imagining it is enough to cut off my appetite."

"Awful", Kinuyo whispered. "It was awful. I really hope I'll never have this kind of nightmare again, especially as I think I saw her ghost when I woke up, but she wasn't in that form... she looked normal, just paler than when she was living... and also a bit glowing..."

Miho looked up and moved a bit more comfortably.

"Her ghost?" she questioned. "Funny, last night, Alice and I saw Tamada... when her urn was open. She disappeared whenever you turned your head in her direction..."

"They're both still there", the brunette said. "I know it. And that's partly why yesterday's pain was worse. I hope she gave Alice a lesson this night but... I don't know why I dreamed of Hosomi, especially in this way."

"Maybe her death was brought back up when you were confronted again with Tamada's", Miho replied. "They were your friends... it likely reminded you of bad memories."

"Perhaps" Kinuyo sighed. "Anyway, I never want to relive such a night... Even when I was in the vault, dreaming of the bombs falling on my family weren't so traumatizing... maybe because I knew I could never bring them back and never got to see their bodies, like I did with Tamada... and, well, Hosomi's dogtag."

Miho put her nose in her lover's neck. She felt her soft, comforting warmth... She smelt this fragrance, the one which belonged to her and only her, and which she would never find elsewhere. It wasn't describable... It had something that reminded her of burnt wood, maybe some sort of incense, but somewhat mixed with something else... It pleased her a lot. She didn't know her own smell, besides. The brunette stroked her back and let her head rest on the pillow. The sound of the rain was so calm when there was no underlying anxiety... They could go back to sleep, lulled by the noise of the sky's falling tears, it was so nice to the ears.

Miho, after a few minutes there, got up and started caressing Kinuyo's pale cheeks. She looked at her with these dark doe eyes, the ones that were full of affection. Miho put her lips on her loved one's neck and kissed it, then gave a warm breath on it. Kinuyo knew what would happen and had a slight smile, feeling that one thing she enjoyed so much.

"Let's hope we won't be interrupted again" the brunette said with a chuckle. "If we are, I think I won't stop myself from laughing."

"No, it's still early, and the sound of rain will cover us..." Miho sweetly said, her eyes darkened with her widening pupils, in a tone of voice that told everything.

"Naughty girl", Kinuyo teased her before pressing her lips against hers.

Alice was sleeping in the room next to the lovers', not disturbed by what was happening behind the wall. Dogmeat was on the bed and opened his eyes. He perceived somewhat unusual sounds coming from the next room, but wasn't worried. He glanced at his owner, who was still asleep. She looked like a little princess. He was afraid of the storm and felt better after joining Alice. The thunder's roars prevented him from sleeping until he went close to her. He raised his head, curious. He went from house to house, or from place to place without really having time to acclimatize. Every morning, the girls walked away and he came with them without knowing where he was going. As long as Alice was there, it was fine to him.  
He got up and inspected the room, feeling the floor under his paws. The smells were unusual. Nothing to do with the last house where he had spent the night. To whom did it belong? The occupants hadn't been there for a while, but there were traces of their scent mark. Despite his curiosity, he preferred to stay on the bed ; why move away from Alice? He leaned forward and licked her face.

The girl woke up, feeling her dog greeting her. With a small smile, she petted him.  
The night wasn't good for her... Nightmares were invading her mind. They were always of the same type... it involved a girl with pale skin, reddish eyes, black hair tied in a braid held by a white ribbon. She was above her, staring at her with that menacing look, before starting to utter a loud, inhuman shriek, and started to slowly, painfully tear her face face. This girl looked like the form she had seen last night. Was it an attack from the spirit, as she feared? Whenever she fell asleep again that night, Alice had this dream. The girl, that horrible scream, and her hands, the pain of her nails tearing her skin, almost gouging her eyes out, and that look, that horrible gaze, this infamous and deadly grin, that horrible laugh of death, like the wide-open mouth of a decomposing body. It was certainly Tamada's spirit. She was likely angered. Alice swore she'd never open this urn again. She could still feel the mark left by Kinuyo's slap. The redness had faded, but the feeling was still there. Probably guilt. She gave a kiss to her dog and hugged him thoughtfully. She would apologize this morning, she'd have to do so.

When she went downstairs, she thought she heard something, but didn't care. It was probably the rain outside... Followed by her beloved Dogmeat, she went and sat down, looking for something to eat. She took the opportunity to read the dogtags, but didn't dare touching the box. One of the two, stained with dried blood, had belonged to someone named Hosomi, a student from Chihatan and the other to this Tamada. When she went to get something to eat, the other two went downstairs.

"Hi Alice", Miho said with a smile. "How are you feeling?"

"I slept very badly, but I feel good otherwise", the blonde replied. "Dogmeat spent the night with me."

Kinuyo glanced at her but hesitated to speak, and finally sat down at the table. Alice purposely sat facing her while Miho brought the rations. Shy, she stared at her to avoid making the first move. After one minute or two, the brunette sighed.

"What do you want?"

"I'm sorry for what I did last evening and for all I did, honestly", Alice whispered. "I've acted like crap to you..."

Kinuyo seemed surprised, but a happy glow was shining deep in her dark eyes. She smiled and leaned closer to the table.

"Don't worry... I have to apologize too. Sorry for hitting you, I couldn't control myself... but remember to avoid touching this tin without letting me know. Otherwise, you'll make me feel bad, and you'll make _her_ feel bad."

"I know that..." the small one said, remembering her nightmares.

Miho came back later after preparing the meal and put everything on the table. Seeing Alice and Kinuyo speaking without despising or throwing insults at each other, she was instantly full of happiness.

"Oh, I see that it has got better between you two", she said. "I'm relieved... I was afraid that you'd argue for the whole trip."

"Don't worry Miho, I realized my mistake", Alice said. "It took me out of my sleep..."

The climate was suddenly less tense. It was a moment that the ginger was hopelessly expecting. Happy, she took pleasure in eating. Kinuyo also seemed more relaxed and less stressed. Alice was still impassive, but something more friendly emanated from her, and of course, Dogmeat was still barking happily, feeling the atmosphere lightening.

They went back on the road again around noon, when the rain stopped falling. The ground was a bit muddy in places, but it wasn't a problem. In the end, who was concerned about the weather when things had improved so quickly? Ironically, a gray, rainy sky was usually associated with melancholy, whereas now everything was for the best. Yet the sun had gone on strike that day. It didn't matter, after all. It showed that even the saddest things had something joyful in them. The air wasn't cold either. It had a rather nice warmth, if the danger of radioactive rain was put aside. Such a relief after hot days.

But the drawback was that they would move away from the coast for a little time soon. It wasn't too much of a problem at that time ; they may not always be on the beach, they would reach it again in some time. Their next stop was in Miyazu. Kyoto Prefecture was a pleasant one. They had just enough time to stop in _Seikiro_ Ryokan before the rain started to fall again. Like pre-war travelers, they would sleep in a hotel that night, and for a nonexistent price! The apocalypse finally had its good sides: no more fees to pay if they were staying at a ryokan. Dogmeat could drag his paws on the tatami without anyone saying anything,. They had the entire hotel just for them, what a nice thing!

Miho was impatiently waiting to spend the evening here, especially in such a good mood. For such a long time she had hoped that her dream came true... She'd make sure to be in her best state for this moment!


	24. Chapter 23

**Author's note : Hello! This one is a bit shorter, but lots of things happen... so I think it's fine for it to be a small one. I hope you're all feeling well. I'm fine, on my side. Next chapter shall come in about the same amount of time as this one did. I started chapter 33 in original version.**

 **Enjoy !**

* * *

 _"You'll love the new world I'm going to take you in_  
 _(Rocket 69, rocket 69)_  
 _We'll take off from a star and the moon is not too far_  
 _(Rocket 69, rocket 69)"_

 _\- Connie Allen_

* * *

Miho enjoyed her meal tonight. She wasn't only feeling good, but she was also spending the evening in very comfortable place. They had been lucky to come across a ryokan, and they had all of it for them alone! They could do what they wanted. Kinuyo gave her from time to time a both relieved and loving glance, knowing exactly what her partner was feeling. Despite Alice's still neutral expression, one could exactly sense the emotions that crossed her heart, as if she had an aura around her. Dogmeat remained lying not far away. He understood that his meal would come after, but the loyal dog he was still remained enthusiastic about the idea of being with them.

They had got out all of the still edible food that was left and had a well-stocked dinner. The mood had clearly changed since the night before; they went from tension and resentment to something relaxed, more friendly, even if the blonde was still reserved and the brunette was suspicious of her true motives. Miho, knowing the battle was likely still not won, remained careful while making sure not to get stressed out. She wasn't going to spoil that moment she would remember all her life... no!

After this well-deserved dinner and after having cleaned up, each of them put on a yukata they found in the cupboards. They were a little more comfortable than in their usual clothes that were now a little dirty or torn in places, and they were looking less like beggars. The three girls went for a walk outside. Miyazu didn't seem too populated by raiders, thankfully. Dogmeat was quite helpful: he growled when he sensed danger. Everytime he started snarling, they were turning around and taking another path.

When they returned to the ryokan, they showered and went into the bath. They could take (cold) showers without too many problems when they stopped in houses, but when there was nothing available to keep themselves clean, according to the quantity of purified water they had, they could go for days without showering. It was very unpleasant for all three, but sometimes they weren't able to take another option. The only one who couldn't come to the onsen was Dogmeat. Alice sent him to the next room.

Miho was sitting back against the wall, next to Kinuyo who had put up her hair in a bun, and with Alice facing them. Although the atmosphere was more relaxed, it gave the ginger a feeling of confrontation. No! she thought, there will be no negative thoughts tonight! They had to spend the best time possible. Alice seemed to squint a little at the sight of the two lovers' nude bodies, but said nothing and didn't even look angry. She simply looked away, as lost in her thoughts.

"Ah... a good, warm bath, as I always loved... I wonder how water can still be heated, but I was tired of cold showers", Kinuyo said.

"The main thing is that we have our warm bath", Miho replied. "Feels so good..."

"As often as we can, we should stop in houses," Alice suggested. "I find it much more comfortable than sleeping outside."

"Have you slept outside before you found us?" the ginger asked.

"Yes, I hid in a corner and rested there. I even sheltered in an open van when it was raining..."

"Little girls and vans", Kinuyo sneered with a little wink. "They don't get along well..."

Alice didn't react. She didn't seem to be offended, though. Silly jokes seemed to have no effect on her. Miho nervously giggled.

"Oh, please", she said, giving her a nudge. "You could have joked on something else..."

"I wouldn't have joked on it if I was still with the others from Chihatan... but now, anyway, no one may take her in their white van, it became a chapter of history..." her girlfriend replied, looking amused at her own humor. "History is one of the best things in the world."

"I have an idea... I wonder if it would be possible to make a Shinkansen work again", Alice whispered. "It would be a good way to get to Kokura Station in no time."

"You're forgetting two details", Miho said. "Kokura is actually Kitakyushu's old name... radiation will be probably still very high there. And the second thing is that these trains run on electricity. Too bad steam trains aren't used anymore... or almost..."

"There's a thing that really bothers me now", Kinuyo thoughtfully replied. "Remember, Chihatan had one, but since Chiba, our ship, and our school's base on solid land were all destroyed, I don't think it survived either... plus, we're very far from Chiba now... and I don't know how we could put electricity back in the catenaries, but there's a lot of work..."

"It was just a guess", the small one sighed. "But it would have been interesting."

"No more long walks, we would have been there in a few hours, but it would be a shame to travel for so long to end up irradiated and half dead", Miho murmured. "It was a good idea, though... You're not a genius for nothing, Alice..."

Kinuyo seemed to think for a few seconds, then started, completely caught in her train of thought :

"If we could do that, we would go at full speed as much as we could, and we'd try to make sure to stop after Kokura, in Hakata, if I'm not mistaken... Yes, Hakata. So... we'd charge on Hakata, then continue our journey on foot and reach Kumamoto. The major problem in all this is that we'd get into the radiation zone at breakneck speed certainly, but who knows how many grays or sieverts could affect us inside a train..."

"It's a shame, I would have loved to play the mechanic and find my sister in less than a day", Miho sighed.

When they came out of the bath, they went straight to bed. They put three futons on the floor. Alice was a little further while the couple, as always, remained very close to one another. Dogmeat, as usual, went to sleep with his owner. Tomorrow would probably be a hard day... they had to rest as much as they could.

The next day, they had a little pinch in the heart at the thought of leaving this beautiful place, but they had to go away. Maho awaited them. They had to continue on their way. They weren't going to abandon Miho's family.

After walking by the sea one last time, they found themselves back on the mountain roads. It was for a short time... they were prepared, after that, and they knew it wasn't for too long. Soon they would come back on the Japanese beaches, they knew it... although being back on the land was rather frustrating. It was less soothing than seascapes for them. It wouldn't be long, it would be okay...

When they chose to settle in Kotohira Shrine, in Kyotango, where they would sleep tonight, a strange sound was heard. A kind of crunch... it sounded like a brief thunderclap. Miho felt her guts tighten. She didn't like how this was going. Not at all.

"Hey, have you heard this?" she shivered.

"Sounds like the ground is going to-"

Kinuyo couldn't finish her sentence.  
The earth started trembling. The three girls suddenly felt unbalanced and failed to fall to the ground. Dogmeat started barking furiously, not understanding what was happening and why he was being shaken. The sound was so loud that they felt it deep inside their brains. The cry of the rock which was breaking kilometers under them and and the shriek of the collapsing buildings farther echoed through the mountains. The ground continued to shake. The seconds passed slowly... each extending to a minute, as if time had slowed down.  
Then, gradually, the quake stopped. Miho glanced at the shrine. It had held up. Kansai wasn't the most seismic region of the country, but there was always a risk: they just lived it in its rawest form.

They got up painfully, still shocked by what had happened.

"Anybody's hurt?" Alice whispered.

"No", Miho answered. "Just reeling from the shock..."

"Nothing to report", Kinuyo replied. "I still feel like I'm being shaken..."

"I think we've been through worse", the ginger shivered. "I hate earthquakes..."

"Yet we're in a country that is situated almost exactly between two plates", Alice sighed. "We're pretty much used to these things..."

"Being used to this doesn't stop me being afraid when I'm living it", Miho replied. "This is far from being like March 11, but it's still something..."

"I still remember that", Kinuyo said. "The fright we all had that day... especially learning the death toll after the tsunami and all of that nuclear mess... Thank goodness we're on the land, at least we won't be drowned by a huge wave..."

"Yeah", Miho murmured. "The epicenter seems to be far enough... maybe the place where we found you was destroyed..."

"It feels odd to think that a meaningful place can disappear in less than a minute", Alice whispered. "In a split second for that triple bombing, even if I had nothing at the three locations... except my mother who was traveling to Kumamoto."

"I hope you'll find her safe and sound, because I wouldn't want anyone to lose everything", the brunette replied. "My parents died and were reduced to particles, my house was destroyed, and all the things I gathered for years ended up in pieces."

"I wonder if my house is still standing", Miho muttered. "I don't think Kumamoto was destroyed, or not completely... but I really hope Maho was able to get out... she was in a vault too, after all..."

"Don't worry, I promise you're going to find her", her partner comforted her. "You'll always have me, otherwise... and there's still your mother... even if your relationships aren't that great. And you have Alice."

"You're right", the ginger said. "I should keep my hopes up..."

Gradually feeling the anxiety caused by the earthquake going down, they spent the night in the shrine. Miho, even without being too interested in religion, prayed that the rest of the trip would well, and especially prayed for Maho. She prayed for her lover and her close friend's health, begged for the life of her sister, prayed for herself, and prayed to arrive alive in Kumamoto. She hoped the spirits heard her call... then went to sleep by her beloved Kinuyo's side.

How would tomorrow be, and when would they reach the coast again?


	25. Chapter 24

**Author's note : Hello! It came quicker than I expected... I was in the mood to translate today.~ I hope you're all feeling good.**

 **Enjoy this chapter. ~**

* * *

 _"Why don't you do right_  
 _Like some other men do?"_

 _\- Peggy Lee_

* * *

In the morning, when they opened their eyes, it was as if nothing had happened the day before. The earthquake seemed to have done a lot of damage; but how were things in the town? Some houses had been damaged. Such a quake couldn't cause no damage. It wasn't a huge one, but it wasn't a small one either. They'd see when they'd leave.

The breakfast went pretty good. Miho was increasingly calmer about what was going on. She knew Kinuyo was still a bit wary of Alice, but had much more hope for a reconciliation of the two. Sometimes her girlfriend took the urn and the bloody plate againg, pressed them against her chest like she always did, and seemed to thank them for having guided them so far. The two ghosts of Chihatan were indeed still there... watching over them, probably. Miho felt a slight wind blowing in her ears, like a whisper. Yet no leaf was moving, there wasn't any breeze. She understood what it was and smiled. Dogmeat barked and looked at something invisible, his tongue out, with his usual loving expression. Alice, after her bad experience with ghosts, shuddered. She didn't want to hear about spirits... One nightmare was enough!

They were able to go back the coast, eventually. They weren't immediately on the beach, but they were close to it. The roads between Kyoto and Hyogo prefecture were located on a mountain pan overlooking the sea. Almost on cliffs. They were finally able to feel the salty smell of the waves dying on the shore again. Who could have imagined having fun in a country where three bombs had fallen?

Walking on the road felt so strange. Before the war, they would have never thought it would be possible one day. Yet, for nearly a month, it was their habit. Paths, roads and highways. Mountains and coasts. The beauty of the world, but also its devastation in places. The view of the destruction and rebirth. The world after the nuclear war. A world without a crowd that passed, without people all crammed into one place, such a quiet world... an almost perfect world, apart from the problem of radiation and survival. They would soon be in Chugoku region, the one just before Kyushu. Maho would probably have liked to be on the road too, but she had chosen to wait for Miho. No doubt things would have been different if Maho came from Kumamoto to join them. They would probably have already found her if it had been this way.

When they reached Takenocho Takeno, a small town that was part of the municipality of Toyooka, they stopped in the first house, facing the sea. They weren't going to go without this little pleasure! The people who lived there were very lucky, they always had a view on this beautiful blue cover. They could even take a midnight swim if the mood was there. Such luck! Miho wondered who could have lived here. They entered and put down their luggage. They were soon going to prepare their dinner.

"Can you get the rations out while I take a few things upstairs?" Kinuyo asked.

"Of course", Miho accepted.

When the brunette went up the stairs, Alice approached the ginger. She watched her taking the rations in the bag. The suitcase was just beside it.

"Do you know what we're going to eat tonight?" the blonde asked.

"Not yet, but we will do with what we have, and if we can't, we'd might just take things from what remains here."

Miho suddenly felt something unusual at the bottom of the bag. It had a rectangular shape, like a book, but a little thinner. She took it out. It was a worn, brown notebook closed with a string around. At the same time, Kinuyo came back downstairs.

"Hey, do you know where is this book from?" Miho asked, pointing to the item.

The brunette's eyes widened in surprise, as almost shocked. Slowly, she grabbed the notebook. She spent a long time staring at it.

"It... it belonged to Hosomi", she whispered. "I had deliberately put it at the bottom of the bag..."

"Why?" her loved asked, surprised.

"Read it if you want, but burn it as soon as you can", Kinuyo whispered before quickly going to prepare the meal.

Alice watched her going farther. The brunette looked somewhat overturned by the discovery. Miho sighed and looked down. She undid the string and started reading. Hosomi had consumed more than half of the pages with her notes.

 _"April 12  
_ _Four days since we were nuked three times. Three. And four days ago, we were deprived of our right to speak. Damn number 4, and damn number 3. What a good beginning of school year. To me, Vault 64 wasn't meaning "place where you're compelled to shut up". We will be punished if we say any word or even a sound. Luckily I found this old notebook that I had on me. I can't stand not being able to express what I feel, I can do it here, at least."_

 _"April 15  
_ _Nishi-san tries to break the rules by talking to us for hours after the curfew. I never thought she could be that rebellious towards authority, even if it's in a non-violent way. The staff doesn't come to see if we're sleeping anyway. Haru and I are going to her room to talk, and sometimes it's her who comes. I noticed I'm the only one who calls Haru by her first name... The others call her Tamada. In any case, we whisper to avoid waking anyone or being heard by them. Some others sleep, letting their freedom being taken from them, but not us. One day, we'll do a bunk._

 _NB: Small additional feature of that vault : there is a plant cultivation system near the reactor's room. We probably will never recover our right to speak, but we won't starve nonetheless... When I think of it, I have no idea about from where the meat comes. I just hope I'm not eating human flesh. We may never know..."_

Haru. Miho, now, knew Tamada's first name. It felt funny to think that she had actually never tried to find it out as it was right in front of her eyes. The lines she read just after made her smile.

 _"April 18  
_ _I don't know why, but Nishi-san can't stop to talk about being worried about Miho Nishizumi. Why her? She's alive and we're all here with her, she shouldn't think about a person who isn't there..."_

The only thing that displeased Miho was the tone used by Hosomi. Why was she sounding so obnoxious? Was it the stress due to the fact that she had no right to speak?  
Several pages later, she felt her heart breaking.

 _"May 21  
_ _Kubota died this morning. She hanged herself in her room. I knew, in some way, she would do it. She was so hopeless... She had already begun to isolate herself from others... poor little one. Nishi-san locked herself in her room all evening. I think she feels guilty. I suspect her to have a part in Kubota's suicide, although they didn't talk much..."_

Outraged, she wanted to close the diary. She refrained herself from doing so. Kinuyo would have never done such horrible things. Hosomi's behaviour was very odd...

 _"May 24  
_ _Nagura was punished... just she screamed in pain while walking on a pin lying on the floor. She's forbidden to eat for two days, and they said she would 'be locked up in the white room' if she spoke again. She passed out twice... Once at 4 PM, and again at 8 PM. I'm worried... her health has never been very strong, and she may get deadly sick one day, like she almost did last year. I'd never want to experience food deprivation... and what's this white room?"_

Miho felt tears in her eyes. It was despicable. How could people be treated this way? She understood why Kinuyo felt such things when she saw that notebook. Maybe she stumbled across it after Hosomi's disappearance and read it... only to be horribly shocked and reminded of things she didn't want to remember.

 _"June 3  
_ _We joined in my room just before the assault. While Ikeda and Hamada were distracting the staff, Haru and I took up arms first, then it was Teramoto and Nagura's turn, and then Fukuda and Nishi-san's. These assholes got what they deserved. We have the right to express ourselves! While everyone proudly fought for our rights, Nishi-san, Haru and I opened the vault's door and... bye bye! Nishi-san wanted to take Fukuda... that dumb girl... We didn't tell her, but I asked Haru to give her false instructions. We almost failed, though... but well, luckily, we managed to get Nishi-san to come with us."_

This was too much for the ginger who was already in tears. Realizing what was happening, Kinuyo looked at her, her eyes filled of deep sadness, and gave her a soft, comforting kiss on the cheek. Alice sat down beside them.

"Read further", the brunette murmured. "You're not done yet..."

"If you insist..." Miho whispered.

She went back to the moment she was reading.

 _"[...] Haru had a very, very good idea... she went to drink in a puddle. She was right, after all, at this time. We weren't going to spoil our rations immediately... Nishi-san warned her about radiation and maybe toxic hazard, but she just told her she'd charge no matter what. I hope she won't be poisoned. The water didn't seem really clean, but maybe her organism has started becoming immune to toxins? I doubt it, though..."_

Miho turned the page.

 _"June 4  
_ _I can still hear Haru emptying her guts... All night, I heard her throwing up again and again. Even when she had nothing left in her stomach, her body couldn't stop itself from vomiting. It stopped a little before noon. She seems to feel better now. Maybe the water was just not very clean, and that's all... Nishi-san still seems to worry a lot. She still talks about Nishizumi-san... who cares about Nishizumi-san? She shall rather be concerned about the health of her friends than of someone who is probably dead."_

She understood better and better what had happened before Hosomi's death. It was like revisiting her memories, as if she analyzed what was left of her brain.

 _"June 16  
_ _We settled near Mooka, in Tochigi Prefecture. We will live here, I think. I saw Nishi-san kissing Haru farther just now. I will act as if nothing happened. I'll make her pay later for stealing my friend from me. Revenge is a dish best served cold... but I don't want to hurt her too bad... I mean, I don't know if it's truly right to do it, but I'm so angry... She's my friend after all. Sometimes I regret what I say about her, but I don't know anymore what are my true thoughts and opinions... since the triple bombing, I feel so lost. I am perhaps a little jealous too... maybe because I'd like to be the one Haru kisses."_

The small affair Kinuyo had with Tamada. She was getting there.

 _"June 23  
_ _I think their little relationship has broken up. Haru came back to me. It relieves me so much... I was afraid that she left me for Nishi-san. I am a little calmer now... and actually, it was the right thing to refrain myself from hurting her. I was wrong. I couldn't do such a thing."_

The last paragraph she read was the last one before Hosomi died. She couldn't believe what she was seeing.

 _"July 9  
_ _Nishi-san told me to go get some medicine while she will remain at Haru's bedside... My poor little Haru whose state is worse and worse... I wish I was the one who would remain here, but I don't feel like contradicting Nishi-san. I wanted her to leave so I could finally have an exclusive time with Haru. She sleeps all day, sometimes creeps on the floor to relieve herself outside, then goes back to the futon and falls asleep again. She does nothing all day except sleep, pee, maybe talk a bit, and sleep. We can't even give her anything to eat. She can't keep any food down. Her stomach only tolerates water, and yet, it must be given slowly. I wonder how much weight she could lose... she already lost a lot. I think she left 7 or 8 kilograms in just two weeks. It's way too much...  
Tomorrow I'll go get something to treat her. To be quite honest, given her condition, I'm not very optimistic... But I'll do it for her, and for Nishi-san who worries so much. When I'll get home, I'll spend the evening with her... to show her how much I care."_

Kinuyo continued to gently caress Miho's cheeks, trying to comfort her. The ginger faded into tears again, completely taken over by what she had read in Hosomi's diary. The latter loved Tamada with all her heart and wanted only one thing when she'd return, being there with her. And she never came back. She never did, and her last thoughts were probably about how she felt horrible to having failed her friends. It was probably the saddest thing she had read so far. She had skipped a lot of pages, but didn't feel ready to read them yet. Alice was still here. She could only stare at her without feeling able to act. She wouldn't interfere this time. She preferred to give a hug to Dogmeat's orange-ish and white coat and said nothing. He was whimpering, as if he felt what was truly going on.

Alice, just after dinner, went to isolate herself with her dog and sat on the ground with him.

"Dogmeat", she whispered. "Why are you the only one to really understand me here? At least you're here... alone, I think I'd not be able to handle so much..."

He let out a little moan and licked her hand. She continued to pet him. Since she joined Kinuyo and Miho, she felt the gap between their mentality and hers. There was also the love between the two that was very noticeable... She felt less jealous, but basically still felt excluded. She'd have to tell Miho about that. Kinuyo perhaps would be too biased to listen.

For their part, the lovers had something planned for the night. Not a little naughty time, but something that would allow them to actually be alone with each other. But for now, they waited for the blonde to go to sleep. Only a matter of time. After all, which full moon night wouldn't be ideal for a walk together hand in hand so as to live a purely romantic moment?

They faked going to bed, actually watching for the moment when Alice would head to bed too. When would she fall asleep, when would they be able to go out?


	26. Chapter 25

**Author's note : Hey here! 25 chapters, damn... that passes quickly. We're not even at half of the story, though. xD  
** **Next one will come next week. Schools begins again on November 3... *shots herself* I don't want to come back to school, really. The mere thought of setting my feet there again makes my head hurt.**

 **Enjoy this one!**

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 _The only one my arms will hold_  
 _I heard somebody whisper please adore me_  
 _And when I looked to the moon it turned to gold"_

 _\- Frank Sinatra_

* * *

When Alice finally slept, the two lovers quietly went outside. They took care not to wake Dogmeat: what would happen if the little girl noticed their absence? She might get scared... This could be dangerous if she were to want to join them and lost herself.

Without a sound, they closed the door. No clouds dirtying the sky. The night was kind of warm. That wasn't to point of what it felt like during a heat wave, but the air felt still a bit heavy. The full moon, rounded and shiny like a giant pearl in the heavens, lit them with its white glowing. They could hear a few bugs that had survived making a sweet kind of noise. Miho took Kinuyo's hand and turned her head to the stars. There was no more light pollution except that of the moon now. It was so beautiful, all these little dots, like miniature diamonds all over the sky. Miho would take her up there one day, she wanted it inside herself. She'd fly to the stars and fall down in the blue sea, her lover in her arms, as the Eastern wind would send them to Kyushu, right where they were meant to be.  
They started walking on the road, then set their feet on the beach. In addition to the sound of insects, the smell of vegetation and the soft light of the night, the smell and the song of the sea they knew and cherished so much was there. Kinuyo sat on the sand and invited Miho to do the same with a small hand gesture.

"I can't believe a triple bombing would make one of my dreams come true", the brunette said in a whisper, looking at the horizon.

"The dream of going on the beach with someone dear to your heart on a full moon night?" Miho replied, smiling.

"Yes, and not only. Being able to cover hundreds of kilometers on foot was basically one of my wildest dreams. Before the war, I probably would have been accosted by a pervert who'd probably have raped me, choked or stabbed me and thrown my lifeless body in a ditch or down a ravine, or even a cliff into the sea. I'd have probably become fish food. Strolling alone next to the road when you're a girl is almost suicide."

"Yeah", Miho sighed. "I also loved the idea of going away as a feather that flies from a place, never to return. Finally... I think I might not come back to Oarai."

"But you still have your friends there", her girlfriend replied, surprised.

"Yes, but if I had to choose, I would stay here with you. Even if I indeed miss them a lot... and I feel so bad for having left them..."

Kinuyo put her arm around Miho's body and pressed her against herself.

"The people I truly miss are no longer of this world", she whispered. "When I think back about those who stayed at the vault, except Fukuda, it feels if they no longer existed. I realize I never truly connected with them... They were nice, but that's all. I've become very popular and I don't really get how I did that... They liked me a lot for the most and I acted nice to them, but I never really knew if it was for my personality or just because I wasn't ugly... or because I was the commander. Our previous one was more disliked than liked, actually..."

"I read what happened while you were still there", Miho murmured. "I never thought Hosomi could be able to think such things about you... Tamada told me she was honest..."

"I was worried about you and I didn't know why. Hosomi was someone for who family and friends really mattered a lot, I understand why it annoyed her when I started to bring you up."

"What really upset me was the moment when Nagura was punished... poor girl... she must have been so hungry that day. And I still wonder what was that white room... A kind of torture, I guess?"

"Nagura had a weaker health than most of us too... She caught colds or stomach flu more often and really scared us last year when she contracted pneumonia", Kinuyo told. "When it wasn't Hamada, it was her who ended up with a fever and a sore throat, or an upset stomach. Good thing I get ill once every thirty years. But everytime I'm sick, it really knocks me down."

"I have a pretty good immune system as well", Miho said. "At least, you don't spend too much money on medicine. The one who had a weaker health in my friends was Mako. She had low blood pressure and got tired easily. Sometimes, when she walked, you couldn't tell if she was normal or drunk."

"I'd have liked to see that", the brunette laughed. "They seemed to be really nice, it's a shame I couldn't get to know them..."

Miho turned to her and took her hands. Starry-eyed, her smile was lightened by the reflection of the moonlight on her teeth. She remembered the time before the three bombings. Yukari and her tank obsession, Hana's sweetness, Saori's constant talk about boys, Mako's sleepiness... All of these memories warmed her heart, and the presence of her beloved accentuated this feel even more.

"Believe me, they would have loved you, they were funny, adorable, beautiful and always there for those who were dear to them", Miho said while turning back to the sky. "Perhaps they'll never know the pleasure of freedom... Neither the feeling of the sun on their bodies... Neither the smell of the sea..."

"I'd have liked to get rid of the feeling of the sun", her lover replied. "Before I forget to ask you about that, could we walk in the shade tomorrow? It's getting hot... and I don't want any of us to have a heatstroke."

"Oh, come on", Miho giggled, "A little ray of sunshine after the rain! And if there is a case of heatstroke, I know how to react."

Kinuyo chuckled and got closer to her.

"We laugh it off, but it happened to me once", she guffawed. "I was so caught up in mentally planning what I was going to do that I didn't think about drinking before a training under that blazing sun... and I felt the heat in the Chi-Ha..."

"You must have suffered, though!" Miho worried.

"To explain, I was so hot that I felt nauseous, but I told no one. After that, I wasn't supposed to show any physical discomfort or any weakness of some sort... I was very thirsty but there was no water available, then I started getting dizzy... and a huge headache came. I poked my head out of the cupola to get some air, but I was feeling too lightheaded, thought I was going to vomit when the tank turned, then... well, I kind of started seeing stars, and then total darkness. It was pretty quick..."

"You haven't hurt yourself from falling, have you?"

"My teammates told me that my head failed to hit the gun in my fall, and I woke up lying on the ground, a little farther, with a wet towel on the forehead as I did to you when you had your migraine. They were in circle around me, and everyone told me not to get up right away to avoid passing out again. I was given some water too."

"I never knew you could literally forget drinking" the ginger laughed. "One day, you'll be so caught up in your plans that you'll just forget to live."

"That could likely happen one day", Kinuyo giggled. "I'm too busy to live anyway..."

"You know, at first, when I arrived in Oarai and when our President forced me to choose tankery, I was so shaken that I had to be brought to the infirmary... I was literally inert, as if my brain had stopped working. When I remember this, I also laugh, because it was actually a good idea."

"True", her girlfriend said. "Without that, we'd probably have never met, or maybe we wouldn't have known each other until the apocalypse."

"Luckily, I still had my friends who supported me", Miho ended. "I don't want to imagine how it would have felt like if I was alone..."

They continued to watch the moon again and again. It was a sight that never bored them. The full moon's reflection on the sea... two natural elements that were so good together. They could stay on this beach of Kansai for a lifetime. Soon, they would be in Chugoku region... one of the last on their itinerary. Soon, Maho would be there... soon, peace and security would come into their lives.

The two girls came back to the house later. Always being careful not to wake Alice, they went upstairs. They could hear Dogmeat moving, but he didn't bark. They went to bed right after being returned from the beach.

The next day, the trio was back on the road. For once, they decided to follow the train tracks. After all, it was a way like any other and it might even allowed them to take shortcuts at times. It wasn't like the coast, but it was still nice. Alice continued to follow them, Dogmeat on her side. To prevent him from hurting himself or falling off a bridge, she avoided throwing sticks to him. She preferred to start toddling on a track and invite him to join her. Miho and Kinuyo continued walking calmly, finding the blonde and her dog very cute. At one point, they went into a tunnel that opened onto a bridge overlooking Kasumiku Amarube, a small coastal town. They made sure to avoid looking down... it was so high up here! It was still a unique experience to walk so high on a bridge that wasn't intended for pedestrians. There was no risk that it would collapse under their weight... it bore tons and tons when Shinkansens passed on it...

Their next stop was in Moroyose, this time. Their house tonight was one made of a dark wood, rather small and not far from the beach. Alice put her bag down and asked to come back outside. She knew nothing about what her two traveling companions did last night. They landed their bags and returned outside with her. The dog, still as cheerful, ran like crazy on the sand. The rounded shape of this small piece of coast with rocks and a tunnel farther gave the impression of a pretty little cove. The sun had just retreated behind the clouds: it was the right time for having some summer fun in the sand.

Alice approached Kinuyo, who turned her head, looking surprised.

"Can you find me a stick for Dogmeat?" she shyly asked.

"Uh... can't you do it yourself?" the brunette marveled, still a bit confused.

"No, I want you to look for me" Alice said.

"..alright?"

Kinuyo bent down and dug into the sand. It felt so strange when the blonde came to her like that. It pleased her, but she didn't know what to think about this. Why was the little girl always going from hot to cold in a split second? She looked at Miho, who bent down with her.

"You see, she tries to get your attention, it's nice from her", the redhead smiled.

"Seems like she's only nice when it can benefit her", Kinuyo sighed. "But it's still pleasing to see that she can have a rather good attitude without having to anger me to the point of rage like I did."

"I think you should look here", Miho said, pointing a thick stick.

Kinuyo turned her eyes. She grabbed the object on her left and looked for Alice. She was farther, hugging Domeat. Her girlfriend kissed her on the cheek and kindly glanced at her.

"Now, bring it to her", she whispered.

"Yes, I was going to."

The brunette returned the kiss and got up.

"Alice!" she called. "Got it!"

"Ah, perfect", the blonde said with a slight smile while walking towards her.

She handed her the stick. The girl took it and walked away. She quickly thanked her before running to the dog who was just waiting for it.

Dogmeat ran like a mad dog at the sight of the projectile. This little fool would get hurt again for it! Yet, fortunately, he didn't stumble this time. He was so cute when he played. His doggy kindness could be felt. He was up to anything. His relationship with Alice was becoming stronger gradually as the days passed. While the two lovers had sat again on the sand, the small girl continued to play with her pet dog.

Miho let her head rest on Kinuyo's shoulder, who pressed herself against her. The ginger looked at her with her soft honey, sensual eyes. She moved and went in front of her girlfriend. They approached their faces closer until the tips of their noses touched, and looked into each other's eyes for a few minutes. These dark brown irises that made her heart beat faster were like a drug to Miho. She had never loved anyone as deeply she loved Kinuyo. Even her friends were something different. She let her hug her gently, happy to be with her and wishing in no way to leave. Both felt a characteristic, friendly but cold breeze, calm and encouraging, blowing around them. It was exactly what they thought it was. It warmed their hearts. Miho lenghtily and lovingly kissed Kinuyo. Alice and Dogmeat continued to run in circles like two kids in a playground. They were going to spend a good evening, that was certain.

The three went back to the house for dinner a little before sunset. This trip in an irradiated Japan was nice, even in those sinister circumstances... How would this night be like in this nice wooden house? Miho hoped for the best.


	27. Chapter 26

**Author's note : Hey! Came earlier than expected. I thought I'd have less energy than now... but it's fine for now. However, I can't promise to be able to release Chapter 27 in 3 days... (lel three days lelelelel), but I'll try to release it this week. Chapter 34 is close to be done in original version.**

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 _"Oh, meet me in a hurry behind the barn_  
 _Don't you be afraid I'll do you no harm"_

 _\- Roy Brown_

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 **PART 5 : CHUGOKU**

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Before going to sleep this evening, Alice sat on the bed. Thoughts were bombing her head. A small noise interrupted her in the process : Dogmeat was scratching at the door.

"Come, boy", she said, opening to him. "Here, come."

He jumped on the bed and gazed at her with his little black eyes, looking both curious and sweet. She remembered the time she had spent in Vault 54. It wasn't feeling that good... but the strange experience, sending a resident out each month was making her scratch her head. Before her, they had sent Azumi and Megumi. Then her turn came. She remembered something that made her shiver: their Pip-Boy was conceived to geographically track them. It was the only vault to benefit from such technology. She had never heard from Azumi again: she didn't come back. No one had mentioned her death or other: after all, she was perhaps simply someone who, like them, wandered in the Japanese wasteland, irradiated by the fallout of the three bombs that were dropped on it.  
She wondered what was happening on the death of the resident. Possibly, when they weren't recording any more data of their test subject or when it remained in the same place for an unusually long time, they considered them dead. She never heard of Megumi again, but was sure she'd never either. Where would have her teammates gone? The last of the Bermuda trio left was Rumi. Maybe she was the next to be sent outside. She hoped they weren't dead... The little laid down and let her dog get close to her, a little lost in her own mind.

Kinuyo went out of the shower, followed by Miho. Even though the water was no more very hot, they were very fond of taking showers together, it became a habit when they could do it. The bath was going to be cold, so they just skipped on it. Being face to face, seeing each other's curves, each other's bodies was passionately exciting. This sight had become usual and normal for them, even... terribly pleasant. They got dressed only in their underwear, not requiring much for sleeping, then went up to their room. They both laid on the bed, not wanting to turn off the lights yet.

"Say, do you think I still have a chance that Alice would be sincere with me?" Kinuyo asked thoughtfully.

"I would say yes", Miho replied. "You know, she's never been a bad person, really."

"Still, it surprised me that she asked me to find her a stick when we were on the beach. I wouldn't have thought she would ask me something as innocuous as that. She could find one herself..."

"I'm once again telling you.. she might have wanted your attention. Maybe the moment when you almost strangled her took her out of her world... Note that she started respecting you from this moment."

"Heh, you're right", the brunette laughed. "I can't remember it very well... But after such a hard time for sure I was going to get respected."

"I think you were in such a state that you couldn't see anything. You were brought back to reality only when I hit you and yelled at you... I still feel a little bad thinking back to it."

"Miho, it's okay, you wanted to protect her, imagine what would have happened if I had killed her, you would have probably hated me for the rest of your life", Kinuyo replied.

"I'd rather not imagine my reaction, indeed", Miho muttered. "It breaks my heart..."

"Don't worry, I'm still here", said the brunette. "Try not to think about it again, okay? There are better things to think about... like finding Maho..."

Kinuyo got her head closer to Miho's and sweetly kissed her. They stayed a few minutes like that. To the ginger, it was one of the most comforting things that existed. Then they wished themselves good night and moved closer to each other to sleep.

The next day, after a quick breakfast that was always as silent, they departed.  
Miho thought back to Hosomi's diary. She wanted to pursue reading it, finally. She missed so many pages... it would have been a shame not to know some extra details. What she had already learned was still fresh in her head... She knew, now, the real reason why Fukuda couldn't come... she was purposely abandoned by Kinuyo's friends who misled her. It was truly wrong from them, but thinking back about it, how would the journed have been if the little braided girl came with them? The worst, perhaps, was when Hosomi wrote that when she'd come back, she would show Tamada how much she cared for her... Just to think back to that moment almost brought her to tears. Tamada died without even knowing Hosomi felt such things for her... and Kinuyo will probably never would fully recover from their losses and what they had done to Fukuda. Miho understood why her partner was so determined to hide or burn that notebook.  
The ginger girl refused to let her pupils drown again, it would worry Kinuyo, she'd let them flow freely otherwise. She didn't want her beloved to be even more stressed out than she was already deep inside. She had seen the consequences of anxiety on her body... and couldn't bear to see her suffer so much. She didn't want her to throw up again, she didn't want her to feel so sick just out of stress. Miho deeply hoped that her assumptions were true... that Alice was sincere, and that she'd not act bad to the brunette again, and that she really was trying to get closer. Yet she was sometimes warm, sometimes cold, just as before. She was afraid that this apparent improvement would actually be an illusion. At least, she wasn't as haughty as before with Kinuyo. It was already a step.

After a moment, they could see the soft beige curves of the sand dunes emerging from the landscape. They were finally in Tottori Prefecture. After nearly two weeks in Chuubu, they were reaching the penultimate region to cross before arriving in Kumamoto : Chugoku. But the road was still long: they weren't yet at the end of Honshu. The sun, luckily, wasn't too hot. The weather was unchanged since yesterday. It was something very strange, such an enigma... Would it have been less mysterious if the three bombs had not fallen? The trio stopped in Ketakacho Hamamura a bit after. It was close to Tottori, the prefecture's capital, which they had quickly crossed.

They hesitated, that night, to enter a house to hide their belongings to return outside for spending the night on the beach. They quickly gave up on this idea, preferring not to take risks. If they wanted to be near the sea, they'd better settle in a house overlooking the infinite blue carpet. Not having much choice for a house, they stopped in one that was just in front of a bakery with a French name. The person who lived there was no doubt a gardening lover: there were a few pots of flowers and trees in front of the house. Some of the plants were dead, and others seemed to have mutated... None of them was still healthy, but some were still alive. What an odd feeling to see that...

Alice remained inside with Dogmeat this time. She preferred to cuddle him instead of playing with him today. Miho wondered if she'd actually read Hosomi's diary again to have a look on some pages she had skipped. She wanted to talk to Kinuyo about this, but feared it would reopen her wounds that were still raw. She would wait for her to sleep or to do something else.

The brunette sat between Alice and Miho. She gave a glance to the blonde girl, but she wasn't returning it.

"Do you want to learn how to cook something?" she suggested gently, hoping to get closer.

"No, not yet", the little girl replied without looking up.

"Well, forget it for today, then" Kinuyo muttered while turning to Miho.

The ginger noticed her girlfriend wanted to whisper something in her ear. She approached her head.

"Not a harsh 'no'", Kinuyo told. "Better than when I was brushed off, right?"

"Yes", Miho replied softly. "I think it's only a matter of time."

"You've already told me once, and things haven't been a pleasure, but you've been right after all... I have to give her time..."

"Yeah, don't worry... You need to take it easy, you know..."

Kinuyo gave her a peck on the cheek, smiled and got up, then went to the kitchen. Ensuring that Alice wasn't looking, she took Hosomi's diary back, took a deep breath and started reading again. The main passages she had skipped would finally be revealed to her.

 _"April 29_  
 _Happy birthday, Emperor Showa... such a shame I can't sing, I would have improved the atmosphere a bit. We would have had our Golden Week if these fucking bombs hadn't been thrown on us. It annoys me. Why did our life had to be upturned that way? I had planned to spend that Golden Week with Haru... Yes, we still spend it together, but in an infamous place. We wanted to leave together at sea during these few days. Nishi-san would have seen her family in Tokyo, and Teramoto had planned to go to another photography course. Damn.. a few seconds were enough to destroy our lives... "_

Miho turned the page.

 _"April 30th_  
 _Really, I can't stand that number 3 anymore. I really struggle with it. Will it become a superstition the day we will go out of these vaults? I wonder how it's like in the other ones... and thank God there's no month with 33 days."_

In the other vaults... it wasn't any better. Miho sighed, fully understanding what Hosomi felt.

 _"May 4_  
 _I think I'll seriously lose control if I stay locked up without being able to speak normally one more month. Hopefully I can still cheat with my diary and with these little hidden conversations... I wonder if there will be suicides, too. I think so, sadly... it's so unbearable that I wonder how we didn't all hang ourselves at first. I'm concerned for Kubota, she sleeps more and more and I hear her crying so often... Nobody seems to notice her either... And Nishi-san still bugs me with that Miho Nishizumi I don't give a crap about... My poor diary... you have to endure my moodiness, this is shameful... I'm sorry, I feel mentally exhausted."_

Miho didn't like when Hosomi said things that way, but still turned the page. After this day, Hosomi barely wrote for some days. Between two short ones, she stopped on a passage that caught her attention, to the point that she was surprised to have ignored it at first.

 _"May 9_  
 _We're thinking about organizing a mutiny to escape. Nishi-san, Fukuda, Haru and me. By itself, the idea would be good if we could do without Fukuda. She's so annoying... always that habit to break our customs and tradition, and I hate her little voice, her way of saying 'Yes, Nishi-san' or 'Yes, Tamada-san'... I'll never respect someone like her, never ever. But I still agreed to participate and escape... Nishi-san is a nice person, despite that Nishizumi crap. We'll find a way to get rid of Fukuda... although honestly, I think Teramoto would make a better candidate. I'm going to miss her so much... "_

Upset by Hosomi's attitude towards Fukuda, she preferred to read further.

 _"May 11_  
 _I don't think we'll ever get used to the life here... I've just exchanged words that night with Hamada. She thinks we'll never get out of here. To her, all supplies will be consumed before the end. The vault is pretty crowded indeed... She's very pessimistic about our survival, although I told her we had a plant culture system and possibly one that's recycling air and water. It almost seems that she has lost the will to live but she perseveres through tenacity, poor girl."_

Miho skipped some meaningless lines, then resumed her reading.

 _"May 15_  
 _I'm sick of Nishi-san's bullshit. I'm fed up with hearing of that Nishizumi. If she wants so much to see her again, if she's that special, well, she could just go and find her! It's not guaranteed she'd survive alone, but she could just go, if that girl is that important! Nishizumi here and Nishizumi there. It's incredible. I had never experienced anything like that. Nishi-san is able to obsess over anything, but at this point... I don't understand why Haru doesn't even react. She even SMILES. It doesn't seem to bother her in any way. Am I the only one seriously saturated of hearing about this girl?"_

The ginger glanced at her lover who was cooking farther. Did she know how her friend was being negative during this time?

 _"May 17_  
 _I spent the night with Hamada tonight, she wanted some company... and I had a frankly awful dream. It's weird to say, but I dreamed that I was outside at night... and alone. The landscape wasn't anything special and reminded me of nowhere, but a huge black, hairless bear jumped on me. I could see its mouth, his jaws foaming of rabies... and madness... and it bit my throat while pulling my body with its gigantic paws. I couldn't even wake up... I felt that I could neither breathe nor struggle, and I felt pain, so much pain, as it was gutting me... then my spirit left my body while I was choking in my blood, and I think I was unconscious. I woke up with a start in the middle of the night. Luckily, I didn't disturb Hamada in her sleep... "_

Miho jumped. Had Hosomi dreamed about her own death? Was it really possible to foresee when and how life would end? She passed some anecdotic pages. It started to get more serious here.

 _"June 1_  
 _Two days remaining before we strike... I can't wait to escape with Haru and Nishi-san... but thinking that I will leave Teramoto just breaks me... and I don't even have the guts to ask her to come. I'm crying as I write this... because I care so much about her happiness. I'll miss Hamada so much too... If it causes problems with Nishi-san and Haru, especially knowing that I'm going to make sure Fukuda won't come, I feel that I won't be psychologically able to bear it. I already feel quite unstable... but at least they will be protected from the dangers of the outside world."_

She quickly went to the next month. She felt her emotions taking over her again.

 _"July 2_  
 _Haru isn't going well at all... That night, she relapsed. I heard her suddenly getting up and running outside, the dinner we ate tonight went up came back up quite violently, to the point she had tears in her eyes. Nishi-san took care of her... and asked me to stay away. I isolated myself and cried. I'm so worried about Haru... She has exactly the same thing as when she drank the water, yet it's been... two, three weeks since it happened? She was feeling well and suddenly everything went wrong again... "_

 _"July 4_  
 _Two days now that my poor Haru sleeps all day and can't eat anything. I hope she recovers quickly and it's nothing serious. Nishi-san has been so lucky to have had her as more than friends during these days... I would have loved to do it. If I could be sick in her place, I'd have spared her this suffering long ago... I miss Teramoto more and more, I almost think about going back to Chiba and bring her outside the vault. But it's too dangerous to go back there, and what would Nishi-san do if nobody was there to take care of Haru? Leaving them both would be so irresponsible... "_

Miho felt the pain increasing when she read the penultimate passage of the diary.

 _"July 8_  
 _I sometimes see Nishi-san crying, but I act as if nothing happens. That night, I was awakened by her feet. I heard her. She was outside, and she kept saying she wanted to die and be done with this world, and begged for the embrace of a rope or the kiss of a knife, but she never attempted suicide. Haru has a very raspy breath, it's getting worse. When I hear her breathing, it feels as if her ribs shrink more and more as days pass. This is probably the weakness... please, my poor Haru... fight for me, fight for the one who loves you so much..."_

Holding back her emotions, Miho gently stroked the notebook and put it back in the bag. Kinuyo was a little further, humming _Yuki no Shingun_ while cooking the rations tonight, while Alice was outside with Dogmeat. Looking up, the ginger saw a familiar shape looking at her, smiling thankfully, and when she blinked, it disappeared. Then, she moved closer to her girlfriend and listened to her singing voice to have some comfort. She didn't sing exceptionally well, but her voice was her biggest source of happiness in this devastated world.

"Tell me when it's ready", Miho murmured.

"It's okay, I make sure not to overcook, and I know you're hungry", Kinuyo replied with a tender smile. "Wait some more, dear..."

Miho walked away after she put a hand on her lover's back, then went back to the couch and laid down. Would she tell her she had read the diary again?


	28. Chapter 27

**Author's note : Hello my darlings! I hope you're all going well. I've finished Chapter 34. I have to warn you, chapters are going to be longer and longer. If you've read me before, I think it's not much of a problem, but for people who have never read my previous stories, I wanna warn you that I tend to write longer chapters as the story progresses.**

 **Next chapter shall come soon.~ Enjoy your reading!**

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 _"You always break the kindest heart  
_ _With a hasty word you can't recall, so  
_ _If I broke your heart last night  
_ _It's because I love you most of all"_

 _\- The Mills Brothers_

* * *

Kinuyo put the rations on the table. It was some canned mackerel in miso sauce. One for each, and one for Dogmeat who waited impatiently for his meal. Alice would give him his ration after dinner. Miho sat down at the table, feeling a little nervous. She really hesitated to tell her girlfriend she had read Hosomi's diary again. Wasn't it better to keep it to herself? The problem was that it felt like hiding things from Kinuyo, which she didn't want to start doing. This could cause problems that could lead to conflict. They would surely have a disagreement or two, or maybe even an argument one day, but Miho preferred to avoid this as much as possible. Kinuyo wasn't the type of person to seek trouble unless she was provoked. Alice was eating her food, staring at the two lovers as usual, looking almost suspicious in her eyes, but impossible to really decipher. The two girls no longer paid attention, preferring to continue their meal and possibly exchange a little affectionate glance or two.

After finishing their dinner, they threw the cans away and Alice returned to her dog. They went out into the street, remaining outside the house. The couple sat down. Miho, then, mentally slapped herself and got closer to Kinuyo.

"Hey... Can I tell you something?" she whispered, nervous.

"Yes, go ahead", her girlfriend replied. "You can tell me pretty much everything... What's happening ?"

"Well... I hope you won't feel too bad but... I've read Hosomi's diary again..."

The brunette's eyes seemed to tarnish a bit. She sighed and lowered her head.

"Still, I'd have preferred that you burn it."

Miho looked down.

"...But... have you once thought about what Hosomi would have wanted? I think she'd have wanted you to keep it... because it's a memory of her, and because she loved you greatly too."

Kinuyo rolled her eyes.

"Really... She literally spat on me for the two thirds of her diary, and then it's only when Tamada's health went wrong again that she finally realized she shalln't do that. I can't believe how two-faced she was. And besides, she made sure that I'd lose Fukuda. I loved her so much... but I really can't forgive her for that. Our friendship was one-sided, I think. I've taken care of her, I've been here for her, I've tolerated her behaviour... yet I've been wrong all this time."

"You know... I think she regretted harshly after that. She spoke so badly about you, but I think it was because she wasn't in her normal state", Miho murmured.

"You always find mitigating factors anyway", the brunette muttered, sounding both sad and angry. "You get on my nerves when you do that, Miho. She betrayed me. Damn it, even when I was completely snapping, when I wanted to die because I just felt so helpless, useless and guilty, she still could say she preferred me to go away so she could be with Tamada. She never truly wanted to travel with me. She was jealous and rotten on the inside. She always preferred Teramoto and Hamada, she should have gone with them separately. I'd have spent better time with Tamada and Fukuda anyway."

"Kinuyo..."

Her girlfriend raised her voice, teary-eyed, and firmly grabbed her by the arm to the point it was painful. She didn't mean to make her feel that way, though. Miho didn't say anything and just listened.

"Why don't you understand what I'm trying to say?! Hosomi was a bloody hypocrite viper and she took advantage of my kindness! Basically, all she wanted was for me to go die instead of her so she could finally sleep with Tamada before she passed away, and without hearing of you again!"

"You have to get her too!" Miho replied in a broken voice. "Stop being so self-centered and try to understand! She had lost her mind from being repressed and from worrying too much! She never wanted to hurt you, she was just lost and uneasy! How would you react in her place, Kinuyo? What would you do? Wouldn't you be feeling horrible if you saw your best friends getting closer to each other and excluding you? Wouldn't you worry if your loved one got deadly ill?"

"The only people who really supported me are you, Tsuji-san, Tamada and Fukuda", the brunette replied, starting to release her grip. "I should have guessed that earlier. I've never truly enjoyed being so popular. It embarrassed me so much and I could almost never have any break. Tamada hit me below the belt once, but she didn't do it by herself. She was manipulated. Hosomi was such a calamity. I've never trusted her anyway. I knew things would go south with her, but I gave her a chance, as usual... I start to think I've been too nice with people."

"Listen, if she continues to follow you and watch over you, it's because she truly loves you", whispered Miho. "If she didn't like you, she would have directly vanished as she died."

"I think that even dead, she still manages to be insincere", Kinuyo said, bottling up her emotions. "Do you understand now why I wanted to burn her diary? I'm tired of always having to feel it weighing on my conscience. If you don't want to destroy it, I'll do it myself."

"Really... you have to try to listen to my point of view, she's not a bad person... she was just unhealthy. She had broken down..."

Kinuyo, unable to take it anymore, slightly raised her head and stood up.

"Miho, honey, please... don't follow me, and only come back when I'll be calmer. I don't want to, but I could hurt you if I were t...to..."

Her voice sounded weak, as if she would burst into tears at one moment or another. She didn't even finish her sentence and went back into the house. The short-haired girl curled up. She knew it wasn't a good idea to tell Kinuyo about this diary again. And yet, she took the risk of having an argument with her partner. Her darling was hurt, and it was _her_ fault.

Alice, who was further away with Dogmeat, stopped playing with him and walked to Miho, who had her throat seized up by that urge to cry.

"What happened?" the little one asked.

"I've done something wrong..."

"What do you mean by 'something wrong'?"

"Well," Miho said, "I've read Hosomi's diary again... and I told Kinuyo about it. I knew it was going to hit her where it hurts, but I don't know why I did it... Sometimes I truly hate myself. I know I did wrong, and..."

Miho couldn't hold back her tears any longer and broke down. Alice took her in her arms, not knowing what to do and trying to comfort her as much as she could.

"...I've hurt her so badly... I'm not good enough for someone like her", Miho sobbed. "If I were good enough, I wouldn't have told her such things..."

"Don't cry," Alice whispered. "You know, I really struggle to talk to her, but she loves you. I know she loves you deep down, and it will never change because of it. We all make mistakes... and a couple can't always spin the perfect love, there are ups and downs."

"But why was a girl like her interested in me, Miho Nishizumi, when she could have found much better? I'm sure that even Tamada would have avoided talking about it... yet she was so different from me..."

"Miho... you can't spend your life doing everything well. I make mistakes myself, I even made a huge one not so long ago, and yet... it won't stop me from living. Kinuyo will forgive you... for sure. You know, I don't intervene much, but I see what happens... she holds on to you more to her own life and will always love you. If you were to disappear... I can't even imagine how she would suffer. I'm not even sure she'd survive without you. She's close to the edge. She has nothing left..."

Miho looked at Alice, her eyes reddened by her tears. She was right... Kinuyo had no more family, no more friends, she had only her lover...

"Thank you very much," the ginger murmured. "I think I'm actually going to burn the diary... just to keep her from getting worse."

"That is normal," the little girl replied. "I'm quiet, but still there... and don't forget I'm still your friend, Miho. We both, or rather, we all know how it's like to feel lonely..."

Dogmeat sniffed the redhead's hand and put his head against her. That made her smile and she gently kissed the dog on his little red and white forehead. He was so gentle. So comforting. Then, she got up and went into the house.

She looked for her girlfriend. Kinuyo was there, lying on the couch, staring into space. Miho slowly approached her.

"Ah, you're here," the brunette said. "I'm sorry for earlier... it's shameful to get that angry for such things..."

She stood up and gazed at Miho, her eyes showing how intense her sadness was. The ginger kissed her gently.

"It's nothing," she murmured. "It's my fault, I shouldn't have told you about this. As you wanted... I'm finally going to burn it."

"Thanks," Kinuyo whispered with a smile. "Thank you, love..."

Miho looked in the supplies bag until she found the diary. She went in search of a lighter or a box of matches. On one of the kitchen countertops, a shiny object caught her attention. It was a metal lighter. Its colour, a shade of copper-like brown, was very beautiful. It was engraved with a pattern of flowers on fire. A sentence was written on the other side of the lighter in capital letters: _'It was a pleasure to burn'_. A very well-known quote. Miho was impressed by the beauty of the object. It was going to join her little personal collection, for sure.

"Kinuyo, look, I've found something," she said.

"Hm?"

The brunette got up and joined Miho. She was surprised by the lighter.

"What a stunning one!" she said, taking it in her hand and looking at the details with interest.

"After I'll have used it, it will be yours," the redhead replied. "A little gift from me."

Kinuyo couldn't prevent herself from grinning and kissed her cheek. Her gaze had almost regained its usual brilliance.

"Come on, let's be done with that thing," she said.

"I'm following you," Miho ended.

She sat down in the street. Her girlfriend was behind her. She was finally going to get rid of that damned notebook. It was for her beloved's good, after all. She was reluctant to do it, but she had to sacrifice it.

But at the moment of lighting the flame and taking the diary, a voice sounded and the lighter seemed to close by itself. A cold gust of wind blew on the two girls.

 _"Who's the traitor now? If you choose to turn your coat, expect me to backfire."_

Miho recognized it. She dropped the diary. A familiar-looking, green-eyed girl was staring straight into her eyes, looking almost menacing. Kinuyo, behind, was completely amazed. It lasted only a few seconds. Miho blinked: the form was gone. She glanced at her lover, more surprised than ever.

"I think you were right," the brunette said, still reeling from the shock. "Hosomi wouldn't want her diary to disappear, even if that means I'm going to have to endure it again and again."

"I could hide it somewhere in the luggage so you won't find it", Miho suggested.

She looked at Alice, who had gone back to play with Dogmeat, then turned again to Kinuyo.

"I'll put it in her bag and explain if she asks why. I will also tell her to never talk about it and avoid the topic. She came to comfort me after you left."

"Actually, I just needed calm and alone time for a few minutes... I was afraid to hit you and hurt you badly. I'd have never forgiven myself if I had accidentally wounded you. I don't often get angry, but you saw it, when I snap, I become like a hurricane."

"It's funny, it's often the nicest people that are the most devastating when they're angry," Miho laughed. "I don't get upset, I... I cry. It's very rare for me to truly fall into violence."

The evening went much better after they got back in touch. As she said, the redhead slipped Hosomi's diary into her little bag. Then the two girls went to bed. The little girl was still standing a little, although she did not stay long.

Miho put the lighter in Kinuyo's hand and looked at her in the eye, smiling. It was hers now. It would be quite useful for the journey, much more convenient to light a fire, but it would still belong to the Chihatan commander. Happy to have been able to make a present to her darling, Miho could sleep peacefully that night. She was by the side of the one she loved, perfectly comfortable, and full of love. How couldn't she spend a good night this way?

Ready to face a hard day tomorrow, she fell asleep, embracing the feeling of being loved, protected and totally confident. She wouldn't find it with everybody.


	29. Chapter 28

**Author's note : Damn, I'm late for this one. I put too much energy into Chapter 35 and I'm very tired by school and stuff... I'll try to make the 29th chapter come faster. It's for next week. I hate to be late like that. I hope you're all okay, besides.**

 **Enjoy this chapter.~**

* * *

 _"One of these mornings, you're goin' to rise up singin'  
_ _Then you spread your wings and you'll take the sky"_

 _\- Billie Holiday_

* * *

Miho remained in bed. She had been there for an hour or two and Kinuyo hadn't woken up yet. It was near 9 AM and no one had yet got uo. Not even Alice or Dogmeat. Miho had woken up at about 7 AM and hadn't gone back to sleep. She had continued to stare endlessly at the walls, the ceiling, the windows, all that there was to see while keeping her head resting on her lover's chest. Sometimes, the brunette was slightly moving, let out a small moan when she turned around, breathed faster or slower than normal, seemed to open her eyes for a second, but was still deep in Morpheus' arms. Miho tilted her head and found herself with one ear on her girlfriend's ribs. She heard the beating of Kinuyo's heart, the sound that reminded her that there, at that moment, the one she loved most in the world was there, alive and safe. She even heard the sound of the air in her lungs, and sometimes a crack of bone or two when she made a slight movement or another internal sound, like a stomach gurgle or any bodily function. Miho liked this kind of sound, despite some being not that attractive. She hadn't had the opportunity to hear it before, and it was a wonderful experience. With the time on the Pip-Boy, she had even noticed how many times a minute her beloved's heart let her know she was alive. Sixty nine. The number made her smile, but she knew that sixty-nine times a minute, when she was at rest, Kinuyo's heart would tell her _"Don't worry Miho, she's alive, and isn't about to die at all"_. A multiple of three, that being said... This little innocuous discovery made her wonder. How many times was her heart beating in a minute when she was herself at rest? She was afraid that by trying to guess and feel her own wrist, she would be so eager to know that it would accelerate it, but wasn't going to ask Kinuyo or Alice to do it...

Miho still had an ear on her partner's chest when she opened her eyes and turned her head.

"Morning", the brunette groggily murmured.

"Hi you," Miho said with a smile.

She took a more comfortable position and squeezed Kinuyo in her arms. She stroked her head.

"Have you recovered from the emotions of last night?" she asked.

"Yes... In the end, it wasn't so much of a good idea from you to burn the diary... Hosomi could have acted even worse... even if I still think that she's nothing of a nasty person."

"You know, I think our opinions are made and nothing will change," Kinuyo replied. "But well.. as hard as it is to say, it's the past... if we dwell on it, it won't help things."

"Funny how you remind me of when I wanted to get over my fear of going in a tank again", Miho chuckled.

"And you have succeeded at it... It proves that I can do it too."

"The effort is huge, but once it's done, it feels like freedom... I think that when we'll arrive in Kumamoto, already, it could get a little better."

They got up half an hour later. Alice was coming at the same time, still very lethargic, and the dog greeted them enthusiastically, then kept staring at them. He wanted his food and was waiting for it. He opened his canine mouth, letting his tongue hang freely, as if he was smiling almost foolishly. Miho smiled and took out a tin of fish that she put in a bowl a little farther from the table, then looked in the cupboards to complete their reserves. She found boxes of cereal, but what would cereal be without milk? There was a bottle of it in the fridge, but was outdated since months... Miho didn't even dare opening it, feared that she'd faint directly from the smell. She preferred to put it in the trash. In any case, nothing was consumable in this refrigerator, they had only non-perishable foods like pasta, rice or canned food.

Miho brought the cereals back and served them in three bowls. Alice said nothing, looking weirdly at her.

"It's going to feel a bit odd without milk, but the only milk we've got is expired," Miho sighed.

"It's fine, we'll do without it", Kinuyo replied.

"Yes, it's better than nothing," Alice finished. "Expired milk is the worst thing in the world... I don't even want to think about it. The smell and taste are sickening."

After this light breakfast, they finally departed again. Miho felt relieved to leave. She was fine, but she knew she had to do it. Maho wouldn't magically teleport by their side. The road was still very long, although Chugoku was the penultimate region to cross. Only the prefectures of Shimane, Yamaguchi, Fukuoka, possibly a part of Saga and Kumamoto were remaining before finding Maho. It was going to take a little more time. What disappointed Miho was that Alice's idea of making a Shinkansen work again wasn't possible. It would have been much more practical, indeed...

What gave them hope was that they were getting closer to their goal: finding their family, a new family for Kinuyo and Alice, and a lost family for Miho. Even without her mother, if there was only Maho, it was enough to make her happy. Her sister was one of those people without whom she couldn't imagine living. She would go to Kumamoto, and Alice would be the second little sister of the family... if Chiyo Shimada was gone. A new life would rise like the sun, she thought again and again to encourage herself.

Finally, the roads looked less and less alike. They had passed by so many places that they realized that their country, as small as they knew it, was actually very varied in terms of landscapes. It was only a small Asian archipelago, a little piece of Earth, but it was unique in the world. Even irradiated and destroyed by the fall of three nukes, it remained unique of its kind. This little cluster of volcanoes and mountains was their home. How would have it been like if they were in a country that was completely foreign to them? They would probably have died of hunger and thirst from not finding their way back.

Their next stop was in Yabase, in the Tohaku district of Tottori Prefecture. Miho saw the cities passing and wondered how many they had already crossed or seen from any distance. Not having the strength to dig into her memories to count them and being afraid to forget some, she preferred not to do so, although she estimated the quantity to more than fifty. She preferred to focus on the feeling of Kinuyo's hand in hers... They exchanged an affectionate look, then turned their heads towards Alice, who always followed them with a fully-energized Dogmeat.

Just when they arrived, they passed by a cemetery. The ginger felt a shiver going down her spine. A cemetery that no one would probably visit before a long time... or maybe it'd never be visited again... a cemetery that could fill up with a war. War never changes. Although Miho didn't want to look at it, she couldn't help but turn her head in its direction and couldn't take her eyes off from it. She remembered that one day, she would be there too. Her sweet Kinuyo who held her hand, kissed her, made her live magnificent moments, spend fantastic nights full of love and more, would be there too one day. Her little Alice, who was still so important to her despite the difficulties and who she wanted at all costs to protect, would be there too. Dogmeat, a dog full of life and joy, would die one day. Maho, her sister whom she loved so much and she wanted so much to find, would be there too. She had no idea if the others had already died. Her own mother, perhaps. Chiyo Shimada, plausibly. She didn't know for Fukuda. Same for Hamada. Teramoto, likely. Nagura, eventually. Ikeda, maybe. Kubota, yes. Hosomi, yes. Tamada, yes. Her friends' lives one day would also end. Destiny pushed every human being towards an irreversible and inevitable end. Some had already had their lives cut short by the three murderers. She thought about the urn and the ashes inside. Why not disperse them in Kumamoto, near their new house, or put them in a makeshift tomb? Tamada could finally rest in peace, probably, even if she was going to be far from her family. Kinuyo, anyway, couldn't have her ashes scattered in Tokyo or Chiba, and would most certainly like to be reunited with her dear Miho for eternity. Alice didn't even know whether her mother was still alive or not, and where she could have died if she was already gone. Her ashes would rejoin hers, no doubt about that, but where?

Miho had a very hard time recovering from this vision of a cemetery, although it was so insignificant, but yet it had hit her right where it hurts. She almost thought her throat closed up for a moment. Kinuyo, a little worried, approached her and held her more firmly to show her support. Alice also tended to accelerate the pace in order to be closer to her. Dogmeat started whining. After walking over a small bridge that passed over a small river flowing into the sea, they noticed a house a little farther and chose to settle there.

Facing the sea again, they entered through the garage door. A white car was still there. Was the nearest vault close to this zone? In any case, Yabase was deserted as everywhere. They put their stuff in the living room and went outside to stare endlessly at the horizon.

On the beaches, there were some wooden decks which delimited rectangles formed by the sea. Alice sat down and called Dogmeat. It was hard for him to stop playing, but he eventually did the same beside her. Miho walked over to the left deck, wanting to get closer to the sea. She hoped Kinuyo wouldn't have fun pushing her into the water: she would be playful and have no sick intentions, but who knew if its temperature was enough to cause a cold-water drowning? Besides, how deep was it? And what about the rocks? Couldn't she end up hurting herself in her fall or trying to climb back up?

Miho gazed at the sea. The immense sea that separated this coast from China's. What was going on there, beyond the blue expanse that almost surrounded her now? Feeling the wild wind blowing through her hair, she closed her eyes and smelled the scent of the salty water. She heard footsteps approaching behind her: no fear. She knew who it was.

She turned and cleared her face, a little blinded by her entangled ginger hair. Kinuyo had come to join her. Miho smiled and felt her feelings rise inside herself. It was so beautiful to find her in such a... romantic situation to the point of the cliché, but still romantic and lovely nonetheless.

"This sea makes me want to take a boat and go far away... far from everything," the brunette murmured, taking her lover's hand.

"We'll have to take one to avoid Kitakyushu anyway," Miho whispered. "I've never driven a motorboat, but I'm going to learn how to..."

"I have never driven one either, and it's a shame, because I'd have preferred to take you there. I could have gone on horseback with you, or by motorcycle, but by boat... Do you think Alice knows how to do that?"

"No, I don't think so," the ginger giggled. "Child prodigy doesn't mean 'child who knows how to do every single thing in the world'..."

"Nevertheless, it would have been so nice..."

"Decks like the one we're on reminds me of childhood memories, when we were going in vacation with Maho, Mother and Father... We liked to sit at the end of these. Our parents looked after us, I remember that we also liked to soak our feet in the water. I want to call Alice to come with us..."

Miho got up.

"Alice!" she shouted. "Come on, don't stay alone!"

The little girl walked towards them, always followed by her loyal Dogmeat. She sat down beside them, a very slight smile on her lips. The brunette didn't see it, but Miho knew full well that the girl was glad to be given some attention. She let the blonde sit by her side. Kinuyo looked over her partner to glance at the small one, then turned back her gaze to the sea, squeezing Miho's hand a little harder.

"Thank you," the little girl whispered.

"Be reassured, I never forgot about you," Miho murmured softly.

"I wouldn't have bothered to disturb you, actually, it seems to have happened a little too often," Alice said, looking down.

"You're nothing of a bother, you know," Kinuyo replied. "You could even come with us a bit more..."

The little girl answered no more, but seemed nevertheless less worried. She moved closer to Miho. The redhead looked at her and grinned before taking a look at her girlfriend. The brunette instantly had a gleam in her eyes. She nodded slightly. Miho chuckled. Alice didn't react, but it felt like she had a more relaxed aura, even though she wasn't letting her guard down completely.

Miho, satisfied at having been able to accomplish this thing, continued to stare at the horizon until evening. It was finally confirmed to her, things would finally go well. Her hopes were increasing. She was hopeful to meet Maho again in Kumamoto, to form a family with her sister, Kinuyo and Alice, their adorable dog, all of this were filling Miho's mind with such peaceful and good thoughts...


	30. Chapter 29

**Author's note : Hello everyone! I hope you're all going good.~ Chapter 30 is soon to come, I already started its translation. I'm almost done with chapter 35. It will go much quicker with the 36-38 ones because I have a lot of inspiration for them. o/**

 **Enjoy this one! _  
_**

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 ** __** _"More than moonlight_  
 _More than starlight_  
 _More than dreaming could do_  
 _If dreams came true"_

 _\- Pat Boone_

* * *

Alice was serene. The evening was going well. She was less and less afraid of Kinuyo and her confidence in Miho was getting stronger. Basically, the problem... was herself, and only herself.

Dogmeat was laying by her side. He never lost his calm, at least. Alice gently caressed his head. They had returned to the house after some time. Spending a moment on the deck, between land and sea, in a magnificent setting, was a thing... like all those unexpected ones already mentioned that nobody imagined doing after the apocalypse. There were more and more things that were related to it, leading things to repeat themselves continually. It was cyclical. In the end, nothing had changed, except for the fact that three bombs had fallen, millions of people had been killed on the spot, others had been evacuated to vaults and a few had gone out and fled, including the trio and probably Maho and Shiho Nishizumi. Day after day, Alice lost more and more hope of seeing her mother alive. Something told her that Chiyo Shimada had indeed lost her life... but where was the proof that this feeling was real? And how could she have died if she wasn't located in the area very close to Kitakyushu? It was a mystery. In the end, it was perhaps just a feeling... just a hunch... nothing much...

Alice noticed something in the living room. A piano was here, not far from the staircase. It was the perfect opportunity to play some music. She had practiced piano for several years and felt the overwhelming urge to put her hands on these black and white keys she missed terribly. She sat down on the bench and started playing what came to her mind. Her fingers, set free, started to run on the smooth keyboard. The sound came out alive from the instrument vibrating at each note, releasing her deepest emotions. What she was playing was her hopes and dreams, her own, those that were hers and only hers. Something so strong and powerful like a storm of feelings, from which emanated an unparalleled emotional force, unleashed itself into her mind. She held on to her hopes, feeling her dreams filling her up, thinking about why she was here... and played again and again this music that had tortured her so much. Dogmeat sometimes barked at the rhythm of the notes, but Alice couldn't keep her eyes off the keyboard. Concentrated, captivated by the strength of her hopes and dreams, she continued, and stopped on an almost abrupt end when she was done. Everything was out. Finally.

When she turned her head, she saw that Miho and Kinuyo had come to see what was happening. Both seemed impressed, having never heard Alice playing the piano and even less noticing that there was one in the room. Dogmeat, wagging his tail, looked at her insistently.

"Wow", the redhead said. "You play really well... How long have you played piano?"

"I play since I'm 6. I've always had a thing for piano notes. In addition, I learn quickly. My mother was proud of me."

"It's really beautiful," Miho whispered. "I would like to learn how to play when I can."

"If you like, I'll help you," the blonde suggested.

"Of course it's a pleasure!" the ginger ended, full of happiness.

The brunette turned a little more towards her.

"Will you play something else?" Kinuyo asked.

"I don't think so... maybe I'll play it again tomorrow morning, but we have plenty of time to find another house with one."

Miho smirked and tapped her lover's shoulder.

"I'm preparing the rations for tonight," she said with a wink. "I'll leave you both alone."

Alice and Kinuyo watched as the ginger moved away, then glanced at each other without saying a word. The little girl felt somewhat more relaxed. She trusted Kinuyo a bit more every day. Slowly but surely... even though something uneasy was still remaining.

The brunette sat down and put a hand on the keyboard. Alice watched her, curious.

"Have you ever played it?" she questioned.

"Not really", Kinuyo replied. "When I'm in a room with a piano, I often ask to use it, then play with a few notes, and when it sounds good to my ear, I remember them. I can spend hours doing that... but I don't know how to play by ear, for example. I can't say I'm playing the piano either."

Alice had an idea.

"Do you want to try to play me something? Just what's in your mind... you don't have to play complex pieces."

"Well, if you want me to..."

Alice took a chair nearby, moved it close and sat on it. She then listened to the brunette who let her mind take over her hands. Kinuyo pressed the first key, alternating with a second key. The result was a melancholic, heavy note, as it continued, and then went a little lower. The little girl had a feeling of inner emptiness. Sensitive to the mood in the music, she felt a deep sadness into this alternation of barely a few notes, remaining in a G minor range. She felt as if she had slept, then walked around in an empty house... empty of life, plunged into the dark after the brutal death of its occupants. A completely empty, dusty and lonely house, abandoned by the lives of those who once lived there and who had just left for a better place. Kinuyo herself seemed to let go of her emotions. Alice looked back. Miho listened to them from afar, having a both peaceful and sorry expression on her face. The brunette slowly stopped her music before turning her head to Alice.

"Well. That's more or less what I had in mind lately. It wasn't quite improvised, I had been playing it for some time before the three bombings, but a little more quickly and in a higher tone."

"That's a pretty nice start," the blonde said. "It'd be nice if I could help you to make this little melody... If you want, when we are in Kumamoto, we may get a piano from another house. Miho wouldn't mind, and I don't think Maho would either."

"I'll talk to Miho," Kinuyo replied. "It's good to finally be able to communicate fully with you and have something to share, for that matter. I spent so much time exhausting myself trying to reach you while you were acting so nasty that I no longer believed in being in better terms with you one day."

"Only one slap was enough," the small one whispered. "At least I'm sure I won't do it again. And then, I'll be frank with you, you seem a bit smarter than you look... really."

Alice saw that she had hurt the brunette. Was it really necessary? She regretted immediately what she had done, but didn't dare apologize. She simply showed her guilt with her gaze and posture. Kinuyo, despite her eyes that were a little dull from the girl's remark, smiled, but probably had trouble not taking it personally. After all, the little one had psychologically mistreated her to the point of somatization... it wasn't something to do again, especially after failing to be killed by a completely burnt-out Kinuyo, who was maybe even psychologically unstable or even on the brink of mental illness because of all this turmoil and the chain of disasters that had just occured in her life.

After a rather calm dinner, Alice went to bed. Dogmeat followed her to her room. She could hear the couple talking to each other. Things seemed pretty good between them. The little girl petted the dog, who stared thoughtfully at her. She buried her head in his fur again, smelling his canine scent. She wondered what was going to happen with Maho, having been her opponent in the end. Not her direct opponent, but still an opponent. She would meet Miho's sister for the first time. How was it going to be like? The little one was a little scared, deep inside. It had been pretty rough with Kinuyo, it almost ended dramatically, but in the end, everything was more or less back to normal, although she still had a hard time really trusting her. Even if things would be probably different with Maho, she thought to herself she'd have to pay more attention to her behaviour.

A little preoccupied, she pulled the blanket against her, told her dog to come closer and shut her eyelids, a feeling of uncertainty deep in her heart...

The next day, they were again on the beach, always going in the same direction. The weather was pretty good. Not too hot nor too cold: it was mild for a beginning of August. Dogmeat frolicked around Alice's legs, always behind the couple. The little one looked at them. They held hands and advanced fairly quickly. She loved to see Miho so happy and full of love... but had, in the end, still the same problem. She wanted to be alone with the ginger. She couldn't stop thinking about what she had planned before. Every second she saw Kinuyo walking at her side, holding her hand or hugging her, sometimes kissing her when they were in private, she felt in her heart a furious, jealous rage, wanting to eliminate this pretty brunette who had stolen her only true friend, her Miho. She retained this feeling now, but still could sense it. Saddened, she preferred to stay away. Dogmeat, at least, would never steal anybody from her. In the end, maybe she would never fully accept Kinuyo's presence. Perhaps deep inside, it would always be such a big wound that it would remain continually alive.

They'd be soon done with Tottori prefecture. A sign told them they were in Yonago. It wasn't very far from Shimane prefecture; they were still in Chugoku, but were soon going to pass a frontier. They quickly started looking for a house: Alice wondered if there would be a piano in the living room as in their previous shelter. If it could allow her to distract herself a little without disturbing anyone...

Passing on a bridge, they found themselves in a main street, then turned and ended up in a block of houses. They stopped at the first one: white, wider than long, seeming to have two rooms upstairs and being located opposite to the neighbours' shed. A white car was still parked. No one had come here since a long time, but Alice wondered who owned the house.

They entered. The little girl looked around her. There was no piano in the room, but it didn't matter: she would spend time, as always, with her beloved Dogmeat. The dog approached and snorted on her hand. Alice caressed him gently. Miho and Kinuyo brought their stuff upstairs: the girl preferred to stay downstairs. Silence felt so much good to her ears. There was a slight background noise because of her two traveling companions, but she felt a deep tranquility. She thought back to Azumi and Megumi. Perhaps they would cross their roads on the way, who knew where they had gone? Who knew if they were still alive? She remembered that there was definitely a microchip in her Pip-Boy that traced her. The mere idea of this thing made her shudder. How would she get rid of it? Would she leave it somewhere to pretend to be dead?

Miho and Kinuyo came back downstairs. The ginger sat down beside the little girl while her girlfriend was going to prepare the dinner. She looked at her with a tender eye, as Maho, no doubt about this, did with her.

"Isn't the journey too hard for you?" Miho gently murmured.

"To be honest, my legs hurt a bit in the evening, but I play a lot with Dogmeat too, I think it doesn't help. Don't worry, I have no blisters or other, my tendons and muscles just feel a bit sore."

"It is true that you weren't used to walking so much, it will pass, I promise you," the redhead replied. "I was in the same case as you before."

"I have a question for you, Miho..."

"Tell me."

"If Kinuyo and I were about to die and you could only save one, who would you save?"

Alice had let this question escape from her mind. Miho slightly pulled back, looking seriously disturbed. She likely didn't know what to say. The little one waited for her answer, staring at her.

"...I can't answer you, to tell the truth... If I could only save one... I think I'd kill myself so I'd die with you both. It's really... impossible for me to decide between you two. I would never be able to forgive myself and I'd remember all my life that I had let you die. Really, Alice, I couldn't save only one of you two. I'd either take you both or commit suicide."

"But... you love her more than you love me, don't you? We were much closer when she wasn't there", the blonde girl whispered painfully. "You've been my only friend for a long time. I remind you that at the University, I was more or less alone because people have other interests that I don't haven, and I have no clue on how to make proper friends. I'm too young to hang out with such girls... I feel like an outcast."

"Don't say that," the ginger said, her voice starting to break. "I don't love him any more than I love you... it's just a different kind of affection. Kinuyo is my girlfriend, she's likely to become my wife, and you're my closest friend who I consider almost as my little sister. That doesn't mean I've forgotten you... but I just have a romantic relationship, your place hasn't changed at all."

"I'd like to get to know Kinuyo a bit more and be closer to her, but I can't be really nice to her, there is always something hurtful going out. I told her she was smarter than she looked, and it hurt her, I know it. I unwittingly implied that she looked stupid. Maybe it's what I think inside."

"Many people believe she is simple-minded because of Chihatan's lack of strategy, and yet she's quite more clever than her teammates... she was just trying to be like them to get accepted. If she had really been like them, she wouldn't have agreed to do anything other than charging and would have fiercely scolded Fukuda as her late friends did, even if it meant heading straight into disaster, and would have totally ruined the fight against you."

"What distresses me is that despite all my efforts, I can't appreciate her as I should. I'm sorry, Miho... but I think it'll either take longer, or it will never happen..."

"At least try to be nicer to her. You know very well she's already suffering a lot... we're all suffering here. She's pretty sensitive too. Even if you find it difficult to accept her, try... I've already told you to make efforts in the past, but try again and again... Stay determined. That's how I overcomed my weaknesses..."

Alice sighed and stared at Miho in disbelief. It was true... she would probably never get used to it... but what would it cost her to act at least sympathetic to the brunette? The redhead gently caressed her head.

"Come on, dinner will be ready soon."

The little girl got up and hoped that it wouldn't be as cold as the previous ones. She wouldn't say a word about the meal, but if she was asked or told anything, she would answer. How would this guilt-tainted evening be like...?


	31. Chapter 30

**Author's note : Hello everyone. Not feeling really well at the moment. I'm stressed out as fuck, I put so much pressure on myself, and I'm feeling guilty of updating a day later than usual. I know it's stupid... meh. Next chapter comes next week. I need to work on chapter 36 (ended the 35), 37, and maybe 38 if I can write that much. I hope you're all going well, though.**

 **Enjoy this one!**

* * *

 _"Lord I tried to, to see it through  
_ _But it was too much for me  
_ _So now I'm coming home to you  
_ _Yes I feel like going home"_

 _\- Muddy Waters_

* * *

Miho watched as Alice ate without saying anything, then glanced at Kinuyo, who said nothing either. Was her dream definitely broken, despite having seen a glimmer of hope before? She hoped not. It would work out with Maho... it would be fine, that was certain.

The meal went fine to the end. Miho wondered if the things she said weren't too harsh. If Alice wasn't hurt. She went outside and sat before the front door. She had been feeling well for a few days until the negative vibes came back to her mind. The sunset was beautiful. She didn't see this bright orange circle disappearing under the horizon, but she could see the colours of the sky. Pink, purple in places, gently mixed with some sweet blue. The light, curving on the edges of the clouds, drew dreamy lines. The nuances intertwined in a delicate harmony, creating a true masterpiece before her eyes. The light wind blew in her ginger hair as her amber eyes were lost in the beauty of the sky. The only thing that could pull her out of her reverie was an embrace she knew well, warm, gently firm and deeply affectionate.

"Are you dreaming?" whispered the voice of Kinuyo before she sat down by her side.

Miho turned and felt her emotions invading her again, as if she fell in love one time again with the brunette.

"Lost in my thoughts", she said.

"I know how it's easy to get lost there, especially when you love escaping from this world..."

The ginger looked at her girlfriend affectionately. She put her hand on hers; something felt strange. Kinuyo was shaking. Miho felt her guts tightening.

"Are you okay?" she whispered, worried.

"Don't worry" the brunette replied, smiling. "It's nothing."

"Is it because you have heard us earlier? About..."

"It's been a while since I got used to the idea", her lover whispered, always with the same smile. "Don't blame yourself for anything. If things don't work with Alice, even with efforts, then.. it's because it probably should not work. It's been a long time since I've given up..."

Miho's body jolted. What Kinuyo just said completely broke her. Seeing her giving up, which was so rare, hit her with such force that she had no other choice but to get overwhelmed by her feelings. Kinuyo took her in her arms, feeling her own throat hurting terribly and her eyes burning. Still, she kept that smile she anchored on her face, even if the tears began to invade her too. Miho couldn't hold back her tears. She had been strong for too long. Her dream, once hopeful, was only a memory. And what if in the end, she had filled herself with illusions? It didn't matter anymore. The ginger couldn't stop crying, feeling her girlfriend's tremors, that girl who was still holding on despite her own issues, her grief and her constant feeling of being rejected by Alice. Miho was both impressed and desperate when she saw her loved one's true bravoury. Even if she suffered to an almost extreme point, she still held on and stayed sane. She was her pillar... and wanted to stay alive for her Kinuyo she would never think of leaving.

Gradually calming down, Miho looked up. She saw that her lover was devastated by the pain as well, but strove to keep a more positive expression. This smile hadn't left her face... it was less visible, but still there. Her eyes shone with grief and love and she said nothing. The redhead let her head rest on her shoulder. In the end, she had trouble holding on too... if one of them were to fall, she would take the other in her downfall, and no one, not even Alice or Maho, could do anything about it.

Miho heard the little girl talking to Dogmeat and he whined. She was relieved that Alice had at least a pet. At least, he was still there and she couldn't be in conflict with him. Dogmeat was a dog, and even if he was human, he'd surely not look for any arguments.

Kinuyo turned her girlfriend's head with a slight finger touch under the jaw.

"Are you okay? Do you feel a little better?" she said softly.

"Yes, I needed to let go of my emotions," Miho whispered. "And since you're here, it's been a little quicker to get out..."

"I don't want you to feel bad about it... it didn't work, and I think there's really nothing you can do about it. Don't make the same mistake as I did, don't try to force... because you saw it, the more you push, the less it moves."

"But my whole dream is falling apart," the ginger sighed. "I had planned everything... imagined everything, I was projecting myself into the future... even if I still consider her as someone of the family."

"I think sometimes families don't get along. It will be worth for ours... let's just hope that Maho will accept me."

"You know, Maho already knows you, even if it's just from sight, and has never said anything bad about you. I'll be honest, she was rather neutral about you..."

"I don't really remember how she was, but I'll take your word for it," her lover replied.

They remained silent for some time, watching the dreamy shades of the evening that fell on this Earth, that which would indefinitely see the day emerging from the pale and foggy horizons. Dogmeat slept in front of the sofa, lying on an old carpet. Miho saw that Alice was right in front of one of the windows and seemed to be staring at something. Kinuyo preferred to go upstairs to clean herself in the bathroom. Miho remained downstairs to observe the little girl.

Alice looked at the black outside, the black of a night that would soon be one of an obscure, dark new moon. A pale-looking shape was gradually appearing behind this window. Miho heard Alice whispering, murmuring so feebly that a word couldn't be clearly separated from another. However, she wasn't speaking in some kind of gibberish, but well and truly in Japanese. The pale form seemed to approach the window's glass. Alice put her hand on that of the spirit, feminine and bigger than hers, on the fingers that Miho recognized well. A form similar to that of the blonde girl: a fairly short palm and long fingers with rounded tips. The ginger felt her heart wrenching. It was the person she thought. Alice knew it, deep down... and had with no doubt known it for a long time... and spoke to her, communicated with her through this infinitely dark night behind the window of a house in Tottori Prefecture.

Without disturbing her, Miho went back upstairs, literally shaken by what she had seen. Alice no longer had anyone either... it made things even worse. When she had her evening wash, she found Kinuyo waiting for her on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

"What's wrong?" the brunette asked, seeing Miho's expression.

"I think I understood something."

Her lover had a start, not really understanding. The ginger laid down beside her and went closer to her.

"Alice was talking to a spirit... behind the window downstairs. She whispered... and I saw it was the person I thought... and it breaks my heart."

Kinuyo put a hand on her arm, seeming to realize something.

"Do you think it's...?"

"Yes, it's her, I'm sure of it, and knowing that Alice is now all alone breaks me... she doesn't deserve such a thing, she's so young..."

Miho didn't want to cry again, but she could feel her emotions taking over her. Kinuyo, with a lot of empathy, once more embraced her, understanding how she felt without even saying a word. At the same moment, through the door that had remained open, the brunette saw Alice passing. She seemed to have a pinkish complexion and wiped her face with the back of her hand. The redhead raised her head.

"Good night, Alice," she told the little girl.

For the only answer, the blonde smiled slightly at her, waved and went into her room. Kinuyo looked at Miho with sad eyes.

"And to say that we are in the same boat now, she and I... you are very lucky Miho, very lucky..."

"And again, I know nothing about my side," the redhead whispered. "If Maho and my mother are still there..."

"Come on, don't worry, we'll find them," Kinuyo murmured softly. "And if not, you still have me, and you have Alice... it's better than nobody, right?"

"Yes, even if my sister is very important to me," Miho replied.

She laid down beside the brunette who did the same, then kissed her cheek to comfort her.

"Good night, and try to relax," Kinuyo whispered. "Your anxiety affects me so much too..."

"I'll try," Miho muttered. "Good night, dear."

The two soon fell asleep, feeling calmer by being together, in the nocturnal silence that surrounded them...

When morning light came through the curtains, Kinuyo was the first, for once, to wake up. She quickly realized it: Miho didn't move and was still sleeping very well. The brunette, not wishing to wake her up, tried in vain to drift back into sleep. She waited, quiet, wise, pensive, in the silence of the household that was still hibernating. She looked at the time on the Pip-Boy and felt like slapping herself. It was barely seven in the morning and she was unable to go back to sleep. Usually, they both woke up at about nine o'clock. Kinuyo sighed and laid down against Miho, close to her head, hearing and feeling the air coming in and out from her nose, and concentrating on that pace, doing it the same way, slowing down her own breath and closing her eyes, hoping to daze off after some minutes. But it was useless. She was unable to sleep again. Maybe she had enough of it, after all...

She took Miho's hand in hers, minding not holding it too tightly to avoid waking her. Her girlfriend was so deeply asleep that her limbs were soft, almost limp. Still delicate, Kinuyo opened her beloved's hand. It hadn't quite the same shape as hers. Its palm was slightly more square-shaped and her fingers were a bit thicker, but it was the same size as her own. Besides, thinking of hands reminded her of something... For a while, she had heard of palmistry. Not being much turned towards the occult sciences, though she enjoyed looking at fortune-telling books or somewhat mystical things when she was a child and still doing it from time to time, she was nonetheless curious and had heard that the lines inside someone's hands played a part in their fate.

Could people, in other ways than sign language, finally... speak in hands? She didn't know if it was true or not, but thought of it as soon as she saw someone's palm. How did Tamada's look like...? And Hosomi's? Fukuda's? Ikeda's? Nagura's? Teramoto's? Hamada's? She couldn't remember. She inspected Miho's hand out of curiosity. She immediately noticed a detail that struck her. Her life line. It was short. Yet, from what she had managed to pick up as information, it didn't necessarily mean that she would die young. Another line extended to her wrist, parallel to this short line and to its stopping point. Kinuyo felt her throat tightening, as if something was strangling her, and her heart started violently pounding. She preferred to stop thinking about these things... deep inside, who told her that those stories of lines that would show the life of a person were true? She herself didn't know if she should believe it. No, no. She had to stop worrying and try to think more positively. She leaned back on the bed and put her head on Miho's chest, trying to calm her anxieties that came back.

About half an hour later, the ginger opened her eyes and felt the warmth of her lover's body on her. Still awake, Kinuyo let her turn on her back. Miho looked at her, still sleepy.

"You're trembling..." she worried.

"It's okay... I only had a bad night", the brunette said. "It's going to be fine, don't worry."

Skeptical, Miho went silent. Kinuyo knew she wasn't able to lie properly, but thought that the ginger would still not know the real reason. After all, did it matter to learn a reason as stupid as a line in her hand and a superstition probably based on nonsense? She came to feel almost guilty of contemplating such absurdities. The same feeling as when she suggested her strategy to her team and that the majority chose to charge and made her yield to social pressure, even if the context wasn't the same at all. That was true, why believe her own gut while others could prove to her that she was wrong, even if she had to contradict her true hunches and stress herself out?

After a rather quiet breakfast, accompanied by Alice who seemed to feel better about the day before, as if she had never spoken to this strange ghost behind the window, they left again. Miho remembered last evening. The blonde girl seemed comforted, no doubt by Dogmeat's contagious joy, but perhaps also by the spirit to whom she had spoken last night. Did this spectral entity say goodbye? Good luck ? Be a good child? Only Alice would know, and it was unlikely that she would bring up the topic. Miho knew who this spirit was, deep inside herself. Thinking about it felt even worse than yesterday evening when she realized what was going on. In addition, waking up with Kinuyo agitated by tremors made her even more concerned. A bad night... supposedly. She didn't seem very convinced of her own answer. Miho knew, basically, that her lover didn't want to worry her and hid things from her because of this. She had no bad intentions at all. Kinuyo wasn't the type of person to lie a lot, she was even pretty honest; she had to keep her few occasional lies to protect herself or someone close to her.

Seeing where they were coming, Miho breathed a sigh of relief and almost wanted to scream in joy. They were in Tema... in Shimane Prefecture! One of the last of Honshu to go through, if not the last! Kinuyo seemed calmer as well, as reassured or even comforted. Alice stepped closer to Miho and looked at her with warmer eyes than before. It was almost over. Almost the end of Honshu. The end of the tunnel was no more far. Kumamoto, soon. Maho, soon. They didn't know for how many weeks they would still be walking, but it was almost the end of their journey. Kyushu was no more than two hundred, or even three hundred kilometers away from here.

In front of the house they chose to spend the night in... the fact that it was placed facing the sea wasn't the only comforting factor. There was also a Shinkansen railway. So many memories for the couple... and for Alice who remembered her idea and the so high bridge above Kasumiku Amarube, on which she had trotted and had fun with Dogmeat.

This house had a very traditional appearance from the outside. There was another one on the left, built of a dark wood. The one inside which they went was of a white colour and the wooded parts were of a beautiful, almost honey brown tint. The interior was superb. What was amazing was that it mixed two opposites: traditionalism and modernity. The spirit of Japan itself, almost. Dusty because of the apocalypse, but very beautiful. Those who had lived here were really lucky.

Alice sat outside and let Dogmeat put his head on her lap. The couple laid the luggage downstairs, then got acquainted with the surroundings. The blonde walked around the house. Nothing special. She could hear Kinuyo and Miho farther away, inside, who were probably talking about what could happen in the evening. Not trying to listen to what was being said, she grabbed a stick and threw it, as always, to please Dogmeat. But this time, it was him who didn't want to have fun. He looked at her insistently. The girl finally bent down and took him in her arms, feeling a familiar presence at her side, a presence that watched her, and who had already reassured her several times. She felt the need to stay outside, away from the other two. Miho might come to see her... but she wanted to spend some more time with her dog.

Alice thought back to Kumamoto. That was true, Maho was no more far away: Miho would soon be completely happy. She hoped that tonight would go well...


	32. Chapter 31

**Author's note : Finally.. Things might be better soon, and I finally released this chapter. Next one comes either this weekend or next week. I'll soon be in winter break, so I'll have more time. Chapter 36 is about half done in original version, besides!**

 **I hope you're all going well, and enjoy this chapter.~**

* * *

 _"Because those dear hearts... an' gentle people,_  
 _Will never, ever let you down!_

 _\- Bing Crosby_

* * *

Miho was amazed by the view. After a well-deserved dinner, she had reached the room upstairs and opened the awning, then the window. Kinuyo was at her side, her gaze as often lost towards the horizon. The clouds had grown and it would most likely be raining tonight. The weather was refreshing; it was chillier than the day before. A heaviness, however, persisted in the air. A sweet smell of rain could be felt. Tonight was the new moon; they might not have the chance to see the starlight behind this blanket of black clouds, but the scent of the water mixed with the sea's was enough for them. Alice was probably downstairs. Perhaps she would come upstairs to witness the beauty of the storm that was about to burst. Dogmeat might be agitated tonight because of the thunder that would stress him... In any case, Miho kept telling herself that even after a triple nuclear bombing, the nights were more or less as before the war.

The tin that contained Tamada's ashes was placed beside the bed, a little farther. Hosomi's dogtag was also there. Every time the ginger saw Kinuyo, who still wanted to have these things everywhere with her to the point of always laying them not far away from her, she said to herself that her own friends would have had the same fate. They'd have died, then would be put in small rusty candy tins, or would be no more than a damaged dogtag. Miho had never thought about that yet... how would her friends have died? Mako would probably have succumbed to an illness... Yukari would have acted reckless, for sure, and perhaps she would even have unwittingly thrown her into Izanami's arms! What about Hana? She would definitely still be there... unless an infected wound or any sickness would have taken her away. Saori... probably wouldn't have been able to make it psychologically. Suicide could have been the cause of her death. Suddenly shocked by her own thoughts, Miho tried to drive them out of her mind. She swore she'd never ask herself such cruel questions again. Why imagine the death of her own friends? She truly hoped she wasn't going bad... She didn't want to forget them or abandon them... yet, they were becoming fainter and fainter in her mind. One day, when the time would come, she would come back and take them to Kumamoto, with her, away from this vault and its white noise, if it was put back. It would save everyone. She would find a way to get them all out. Miho thought back to Alice's idea of making a Shinkansen work again. Putting power back into the catenaries... how would she do that? Constructing multiple generators, or repairing power plants with the help of other survivors?

A deflagration took her away from her thoughts. A yellowish lightning bolted the sky. Kinuyo, looking a little cold, pressed herself a little more against the ginger and put an arm around her body. Miho suddenly felt comforted. What did these dark thoughts mean when she had the love of her life beside her?

"I like when it thunders hard enough to give the impression that it's only two meters above us", the brunette murmured. "And yet, it scared me so much as a child..."

"We were all afraid of storms when we were little," Miho replied. "I like this sound, too, because it releases so much tension... The air is heavy, and it just snaps."

"When there was such weather, I cried, I screamed, I threw myself into my mother's arms, and the only way to calm me down was to give me hot green tea to comfort me," Kinuyo said. "It was impossible for me to sleep, and if there was school the next day, I stayed at home to recover my night."

"Maho had this kind of problem too, she couldn't stand storms," Miho replied. "I, on the contrary, adored them, and it felt quite fun to see that we had to soothe her while I was her little sister... Our parents sometimes wondered which one of us would protect the other. In the end, it was her who did."

"I want to take pictures, lightning is beautiful... Have you taken the camera or is it still downstairs?" asked Kinuyo.

"Downstaits," the redhead said. "If you happen to see Alice, ask her to join us."

Her girlfriend nodded, then left the room and went downstairs. Miho waited there, watching the storm. Kinuyo soon came back, holding both the camera and something else in her other hand.

"Alice is already asleep, she is slumped on the sofa..."

"Oh, what a shame, I'd have liked her to see this with us", Miho said, a little disappointed.

Kinuyo put the other thing she was holding on the bedside, keeping the camera in her left hand, then went back to lay on her tummy. The ginger followed her and did the same. The lightning continued to unleash in the sky. Miho thought of how dangerous this beautiful phenomenon could be. Maybe trees were going to fall, and things like that would happen. Storms were as savage and unpredictable as the fiery passion of a ferocious animal. Violently magnificent. Focused on what was in front of her for once, Kinuyo waited for a beautiful flash to come ; when an immense beige crack streaked the black sky, she pressed the button as if it was the trigger of a gun. Moving slightly away after that, she shook the paper and put it farther, then came back to sit next to Miho. The brunette rested her head against that of her beloved, more relaxed than ever. The redhead went silent, wanting to hear nothing but the thunder, that wild thunder, the madness of that thunder, and the pouring rain's noise that caressed her ears. She felt the cold wind blowing so hard and slamming the windows, and at the same time Kinuyo's reassuring body warmth at her side. Nothing could equal such a sensation.

The storm lasted nearly three quarters of an hour. Three-quarters of an hour, during which Miho and Kinuyo couldn't stop observing these flashes, listening to this thunder, this emotional violence which agitated nature in one of the most brutal winds of life. They went to bed a little afterwards, calmed by the storm, and fell asleep with the rain that was still falling.

The next day, when they got up and left after lunching and tidying up a bit in the house, Miho thought back to her own home. In what state would she find it? The Nishizumi property was huge: there was even a personal training ground. Miho remembered the Panzer with which she and her sister spent a lot of time as children, going for hours around the countryside. Maho was driving this little yellow-painted Panzer II, and Miho watched the scenery passing in front of her eyes. She wanted to do it again... with Kinuyo and Alice, this time! Together with her beloved, her closest friend, Maho driving and Dogmeat following, without forgetting the Nishizumi family dog, if it was still alive! After all, it would be necessary for her mother to get used to the idea; her daughter was in a meaningful relationship, no matter from what environment her girlfriend came from, and wasn't about to leave her! This apocalypse had given her the strength to openly oppose what Shiho would say. After all, behind, there was always Maho, Kinuyo and Alice for her. Chiyo Shimada, possibly, would also be there, or even maybe on her side... if she was still living, which the ginger doubted. The memory of Alice talking to this ghost behind the window came back again and again...

When they reached Izumo, after crossing a bridge over the Hiikawa River, they stopped in a rural corner; the city would probably be too risky. In addition, the fields were much more beautiful than the ruins of a civilization destroyed three times over... After spending some time in the streets in search of a one-night settlement, they stopped in a block. Their instincts led them to one who had a wall of darkened paneling. This gave a charm to this traditional architecture, a touch of originality. The curtains were still drawn. There had been a car; However, only traces of tires remained. The owners had panicked. The alarm had likely surprised and frightened them.

They entered. Dogmeat seemed immediately attracted by something that came from the kitchen. He was very agitated, as if he wanted to show them something like last time. Miho opened the door. The old inhabitants had dog food... and Dogmeat wanted a delicacy at all costs! Kinuyo laughed and Alice stepped forward to look into the closet. Dry food, and those much vaunted little treats. The blonde girl picked up the bag and grabbed one, then turned to the dog, who looked at her intensely and couldn't stop wagging his tail.

"Sit!" she ordered, wishing to see if he already knew how to obey.

Having probably been trained before, Dogmeat did it. Alice gave him one of these bone-shaped biscuits that smelled peculiar, peculiar to the delicacies for animals. He happily bit it, swallowed, and asked for more. Miho smiled.

"No, you've had enough for tonight," she gently said. "Good boy you are. We all love you so much."

Dogmeat gave a little bark, his eyes looking a bit disappointed but still happy nonetheless. Kinuyo crouched and hugged him tightly.

"He smells nice... He smells like a dog, but they all have a different scent, it's hard to explain," she said, her nose deep in his fur.

"True, he smells obviously like a dog, but no dog smells like another," the little girl. "Will you let him go? You've been already holding him fo-"

"Alice," Miho interrupted her, not wanting a conflict to break out again.

Kinuyo, very satisfied, gave her a quick victorious glance, spent a few more seconds cuddling the adorable animal, then got up. Alice snooped into the closets. Miho remained a few seconds watching her before her lover moved away and sat outside. The redhead followed her a few minutes later. The brunette waited for her, patient, leaning against the wall. The scent of the countryside was so pleasant to feel. A damp scent, a scent of wet earth mixed with the weeds', with a few spikes of the probable few flowers that survived the apocalypse and resumed their way as before or almost. A smell of life and existence. Miho sniffed the air and her nostrils were completely permeated with this fragrance. Kinuyo looked at her, gentle and understanding, and said nothing. In fact, there was no need to even talk. The communication was already made, even without uttering a single word. Only the looks were enough, the gestures, the heart, the intention. Silent, Miho finally sat down beside Kinuyo and held her hand. She leaned on her and let her head rest on her shoulder, close to her soft, almost black hair. Listening to the evening songs and her own breath, she closed her eyes.

The sound of Alice's light footsteps broke the silence. Drawn from her reverie, Miho opened her eyes again. Happy to see the little girl again, she lifted her head a bit and smiled.

"Listen to this silence, Alice," Miho murmured. "You're hearing the heart of our world."

The blonde sat beside the redhead. Kinuyo still said nothing, but for once wanted to go unnoticed, or at least not to have contact, fearing to be hurt again.

"I'd like to hear my mother play the cello again," the blonde whispered. "And accompany her with the piano. I always wanted to do it, but I never could."

"Music is very present in your family, it seems," Miho replied. "Maho loved to play guitar from time to time, but that's all... I learned a few tunes with her, maybe some chords, but that's really all."

"Oh, as long as you have a few bases, you can always go deeper," the little girl said. "Besides, we can play together, if you're interested."

Miho knew that her girlfriend would have nothing wrong with this, but she didn't want to exclude her and decided to change the topic. Kinuyo turned her head to tell her she didn't have to worry about this. The redhead felt a little uncomfortable, but decided to carry on the conversation.

They were interrupted by a bark. Dogmeat wanted another treat; he would have one the next day. This little gourmand was adorable, but he had to be educated! Miho simply gave him a pat on the head before returning to sit with the others.

When the sky went dark, they went to bed. Alice called Miho to tuck her in.

"Can you bring in Kinuyo too?" the little girl murmured. "I know our bond is far from ideal... but... I want to try, although I probably won't like her..."

The redhead swallowed, uncomfortable.

"Alright... but promise me you'll act nice to her. I don't want things to end badly..."

"I'll try," Alice whispered.

Miho stepped into the hallway and opened the other room's door. Her lover had already unrolled the futons and was kneeling on the left one, facing the window. The right one was neatly made. The ginger bent down, then put a hand on her shoulder to attract her attention.

"You're gonna have a hard time believing it, but Alice wants to see you."

Kinuyo almost jumped. She gazed wide-eyed at her.

"Why ?" she asked.

"I don't know, but she told me she would try to behave well towards you. Go and see her, love... she may have an apology for you."

"I doubt it very much, but we never know," Kinuyo replied, standing up.

"I'll stay here so you can talk to me about what happened," Miho said.

Kinuyo, once in the hallway, stepped forward and knocked on the door.

"Alice?" she called softly.

"You can come in," the blonde replied.

She opened the door. The little girl, always accompanied by the dog, was lying down, tucked in, on the futon that rested on the floor. She held her Boko plushie firmly. Dogmeat was already asleep. Kinuyo sat by her side and looked at her, feeling her intestines twisting in stress.

"What did you want to tell me?" she whispered.

"I wanted you to wish me good night," the small one said. "Only that. I ask no more."

Still more stunned, not expecting such a thing, the brunette almost backed off, remembering all the pain she had lately felt because of the blonde.

"Why do you want someone you don't like and you will probably never do to wish you a good night?"

"I have no reason to ask you this, Nishi-san. I just want it. A desire on the moment. Nothing special, really. I have desires, like any human being."

Kinuyo sighed.

\- Nishi-san. Oh, really... you still don't want to call me as I would call anyone with whom I spend so much time, do you? I'll end up calling you Shimada-san if you keep going down this path."

"Do you prefer Kinuyo Nishi, then?" Alice grumbled, suddenly irritated.

"Don't start to be aggressive, please. Just call me Kinuyo. I'm not asking you the impossible... Look, we'll make a little compromise. I wish you goodnight when you call me by my first name. Good deal?"

The little girl sighed, but seemed to have something else in her eyes. Like a contradictory emotion that clashed with this form of annoyance.

"Wish me good night then, Kinuyo?" she muttered, still keeping a neutral tone.

"Good night, Alice," the brunette replied, smiling. "It wasn't that hard, was it? All you have to do is to get used to it now."

"Sleep well," Alice replied.

Kinuyo stood up and closed the door of the little girl's room, then returned to Miho, who was waiting for her, lying down with the pillow in her arms.

"So?" the redhead questioned.

"She had a hard time doing it, but I managed to get her to say my first name," her lover said. "She looked odd, as if she was feeling something unexplainable. Well, at least we didn't fight."

Miho felt the hope rising in herself.

"Maybe it's just that she starts accepting you and is still a little shy," she replied. "Well, maybe I'm too optimistic.. but it's always possible."

"In any case, I hope she'll do it spontaneously now," Kinuyo said as she covered herself with the blanket.

She affectionately approached the redhead, and as she did every evening, she pressed herself against her, feeling her body on hers, and kissed her cheek softly.

"As long as you're here, Miho..."

"I would like everything to be magically solved... even if it's totally unlikely, I still hope for it... but... do you think that happiness would last? Our happy little moments have been short so far."

"Nobody knows," the brunette replied. "In any case, I take advantage of every moment with you, and I will do it until the end."

"Same here... Sleep well, my love", Miho ended on a caressing murmur. "We'll see what happens tomorrow..."


	33. Chapter 32

**Author's note : Heyo! This pace of releasing is much better for me, I think. ~ I don't have to put too much pressure on myself, or not as much as before. I've finished chapter 36 and started the 37... oh god, already 37 chapters... and still not done with Three! I hope you're all going as well as possible. 3 I wish you a great winter break for the ones who already have it! And for the others, good luck. ~**

 **Enjoy this chapter! Next one comes either this weekend or next week.**

* * *

 _"A wiggle in the walk and giggle in the talk  
_ _Makes the world go round"_

 _\- The Big Bopper_

* * *

The days were getting shorter. Miho had noticed it. At first, when she had just left Vault 49, the sun set later and rose earlier. Now, they had lost a few tens of minutes, no doubt ; but she had seen it only when she woke up this morning. They were in the middle of summer, but not much time was left before autumn would come: it was next month that the season would change! Miho was eager to see the momiji again... these maple leaves that blushed in the fall and fell down like red and orange rain. Post-apocalyptic radioactive momiji, but always as wonderful. She would sit under a tree with Kinuyo and would never stop losing herself in this beauty... Alice and Dogmeat would jump into the leaves and play, the blonde girl would, as always, throw a stick at the dog who would shake his head, making some red fragments fly away in the wind. Maho would come to sit beside her and her beloved, preferring calmness to the agitation. Her mother would probably just contemplate the colours of the scenery.

She opened her eyes. Kinuyo had already got up and had silently rolled her futon. Miho, in no time, got up, got dressed, gathered her stuff and went downstairs. Alice, on the other hand, was still asleep. Her lover was next to the trash and threw something in the bin. Miho walked to her.

"Hi, have you slept well?" she softly said to the brunette.

"Yes, I didn't want to wake you up again, so I went downstairs, and you will never guess what I found..."

Miho opened her eyes a little more, feeling excited.

"Tell me everything!"

Kinuyo turned and grabbed something rectangular, then handed it to her girlfriend.

"There were three chocolate bars in the closet, and I just got one," she smiled. "One whole. I've been longing to taste chocolate again for a long time... and I kept one for you too. The last one will be for Alice, it will prevent me from being too greedy!"

The ginger took the bar and embraced her lover.

"Thanks, my Kinuyo... you're such a sweetheart, you know."

"I wouldn't have taken everything for myself, don't worry", she laughed. "Once, I ate two whole big chocolate bars in a row... and I regretted it. The whole night. I thought I was going to die from emptying myself to the point it hurt."

"You're a big eater, aren't you?" Miho smiled, releasing her embrace and returning to a normal position, though a little amused.

"Yes, I tend to overeat, especially when I'm not having a good time", Kinuyo chuckled. "I eat like a wolf when things get tense... but what is paradoxical is that too much stress makes me throw up. Still, I've never been bulimic or anything... it's weird."

"Me too," the redhead whispered. "I tend to go with sweet stuff, especially candy... and I don't even put on weight. Maho told me that I would eventually grow fat, but neither of us was ever overweight. We have a rather fine nature in my family."

"Same thing. My mother was on the verge of thinness, but it was her nature. We looked a lot like each other. I'm not as fine as her, but I have a fairly strong similarity in facial features. I just have my father's hair colour and maybe a few other things in common."

"To tell the truth, none of my parents were red-haired, but my paternal grandmother was, and I inherited that, while my parents and my sister are brown-haired," Miho replied. "Besides being the ugly duckling in tankery, I'm also the ugly duckling in looks."

"You're yourself, and that's what matters," Kinuyo said, putting her hands on the ginger's shoulders. "And that's what makes you such a wonderful person."

Miho couldn't control the big grin that illuminated her face. The brunette seemed deeply serene in those few seconds. As if a simple smile could make her happy even within moments. At the same moment, they heard the sound of a door, as well as legs trotting playfully on the floor.

Dogmeat enthusiastically greeted Miho and Kinuyo as Alice arrived. He barked happily. Kinuyo had already got the rations out and fed the dog a bit farther. She took the opportunity to grab the chocolate bar and hand it to the little girl.

"Well, thank you for last night," she said patiently, holding the chocolate with both her hands. "I'm glad you made this effort for me, Alice."

To her surprise, the blonde looked at her and took the sweet, then remained speechless for a few minutes.

"...thank you", she muttered while searching for her bag.

Miho felt immense happiness in herself, but an overwhelming doubt invaded her almost instantly after. She wanted to rejoice at that moment... but the last time it had happened, she ended up disappointed. Even if she told herself that this time would be the right one, she was struggling to be totally sure of herself. Just this time, she thought. Just this time.

When they left, the air felt much less heavy than a few days before. The storm had helped... but wasn't emotional tension biasing their perceptions, in the end? Now that Alice and Kinuyo had, it seemed, really made an effort to reconcile, was this the beginning of a true period of joy and happiness, and not an illusion like the last time?

Miho listened to the sound of everybody's footsteps. Her own, Kinuyo's, and even tried to count Alice's behind, and Dogmeat's, even if she really didn't succeed; it was far too difficult. She simply tried to hear, to relax, to feel the rhythm of their walk. She held her girlfriend's hand, who seemed to look around as if to protect their little group in case of trouble, even if there would probably be nothing. The places were passing before her eyes and for some were alike, while others were totally different. Lost places, existing only for a moment, and which would die again once they'd had gone away. Miho remembered the train trip to return to Kumamoto before the match against the University. The landscapes had also passed before her, and they had come out of her mind as she passed by them. Buried in a distant memory, deeper and deeper, to finally become an unconscious thing, then oblivion, nothingness. Their existence seemed to fade like the petals of a flower over time, withering to ultimately never be reborn again. Since the fall of the bombs, anyway, life would probably not return before a long time here. They were lucky to be able to travel outside, to stop in what was the haven of peace of people they would never know, then to leave, maybe only leaving a small note, a sorting, some cleaning or some cans. These people would probably never see their faces, but would know their existence by these small indelible imprints.

When would Chugoku end? Miho was more and more anxious when she thought about being in Kyushu, to make this trip by boat, to bypass Kitakyushu and to find Maho at home. The journey, after more than a month on the road, began to weigh on her shoulders. Her sister was missing. She wanted at all costs to find her alive as she had found Alice safe and sound.

As they stopped in a house in Hama, a district of Izumo, Miho leaned against the low wall that bordered the property. She thought of the cemeteries near which they tended to stop. Why did they often choose a house not far from these? It made her feel uncomfortable. The cemeteries, for her, were a sign of death. She had already thought of it and told herself every time she passed by one of them: one day they would all end up here, become one in death, and no one would escape. No one. She looked at Dogmeat, who was gambolling around Alice, who had started eating the chocolate bar a little farther, and then she glanced at Kinuyo, who was taken over by her curiosity and looked through all the books in the house. And yet the race of life was the only one she would have the pleasure of losing. Her fear grew so big that she could make a book of it. _Thanatophobia_ , by Miho Nishizumi, making headlines abroad. Coupled with _My journey into a devastated Japan_ and _Vaults: the secret of a hidden science_. Billions of yen of copyright. She had so much in her head that she could write again and again. She remembered that Chihatan was a school that encouraged its students to publish their own books. Had Kinuyo done it? She couldn't remember seeing any work coming from her, but maybe that was the case...

She found her companion inside, who was lying on the couch and staring at the ceiling. As she heard the redhead coming, the brunette stood up and gave her a seat, then put her head back on the legs of her beloved.

"What are you thinking about?" Miho kindly asked.

"A lot of things. Flow of thoughts won't stop. It is as if you had pressed the accelerator pedal and broken that of the brake in my head."

"You too", the ginger sighed. "I'm really wondering if we can make it to the end..."

"I won't lie, I don't ask myself anymore about this. I want only one thing, to succeed, because you will find your sister and you will be happy," her girlfriend replied. "And I'll have a family again, with you this time."

"As the day pass, I'm more and more afraid to die before reaching the end of this journey, Kinuyo... You know, we'd have traveled all these kilometers to finally be killed just before we'd arrive in Kumamoto. Leaving you, leaving Alice, leaving Maho..."

"Try to tell yourself we're not that far from it. Maybe there are... 400 kilometers left?... Seen like that, it is true that it seems far, but it's more than half of what we've walked for already..."

Miho, nervous, was surprised to feel annoyed at this response. Why was she feeling that way? Was it simply anxiety that made her sick of everything? It made no sense... which made her even more stressed out.

"That's true, but who knows what can happen?" she whispered. "Try to put yourself a little more into the reality of things... anything can happen."

"Certainly, but you have to bear in mind that you don't have control over everything and that you won't be able to do anything about it," Kinuyo said. "Mind you, I'm not trying to escape from reality, I'm just telling you that we have quite little distance to cover compared to the beginning. This has nothing to do with being into the reality of things..."

The annoyance rose too quickly. Miho, unusually tense, sighed nervously.

"That's it, go on, you're always right anyway... it's never you who's wrong, it's never your fault, you have an answer to everything, and you know everything!"

Kinuyo raised her head and looked at her, her eyes full of incomprehension.

"But why do you take what I tell you as an attack, Miho? Are you feeling bad? You never do this usually... don't start acting like me, please!"

"Sorry... I'm a little worried tonight", the ginger murmured. "You know, I remembered the cemeteries in front of which we passed recently... and everytime we did that, it reminds me that one day, we're going to die. And maybe it'll be before we shall... or before we get to Kumamoto."

"I think we should try to take advantage of every day, Miho," her lover quietly said, raising her arm to replace a red lock behind her ear. "Easier said than done, that's true, I'm the first to know it... but we should try. I have as much trouble as you to be in the present, but here it becomes necessary."

The redhead remembered what she wanted to talk about at first. She hadn't thought of engaging in such a conversation. Wanting comfort, acknowledging that she had behaved badly, she took Kinuyo's hand and interlocked their fingers, feeling her palm against hers.

"I know it has nothing to do with what we've been arguing about... but have you ever written a book? I remember that Chihatan was a very literary school, and that students were encouraged to have their writings published..."

"No," the brunette replied. "I'd have liked to do this, though. I wanted to publish something autobiographical, but it's still a project because... you know, three. Otherwise, I think I would have released two or three books."

"I love reading, but I never found inspiration to write," Miho replied. "I mainly invented stories with my Bokos... and I had started doing some roleplaying on the Internet with Alice before everything was devastated..."

"Oh, it's still nice," Kinuyo said. "With my friends, sometimes we spent a whole night playing Hanafuda... and I was often the one who lost! The winner most of the time was either Hosomi or Ikeda, because they were better at it. Fukuda, Tamada and I had the unfortunate tendency to take beatings."

Miho laughed. At this moment, Alice whistled a little song she knew well. The song of Boko! The ginger instantly started singing. Dogmeat seemed to dance, at once excited and joyful, and jumped everywhere. The blonde, after a while spent whistling, began to sing too, setting up a chorus with Miho. Kinuyo, not knowing the lyrics, listened and watched, finding it cute. The redhead loved this song. This song reminded her that life could beat her, she would always get up again! That was why she loved Boko so much. He was beaten up again and again, put down by others, and still never gave up. Such a strong little bear. He made her think of Alice, Kinuyo, even Maho, and herself. For in reality, none of them had yet given up. They made efforts to stay alive and fairly sane. It was wonderful. Even the symbolism of her favorite teddy bear could be reflected in her own life.

When they prepared tonight's meal, they chose to make some kind of midnight brunch, much like when they were in Omicho. It was a means of picking up what had not yet been consumed for non-perishable things, and of consuming what might soon be no longer good to eat. In addition, this seemed to have a positive effect on relationships. The sharing was there, the dialogue was there, it was all that Miho wanted; communication, especially between Alice and Kinuyo. Things were beginning, it seemed, to truly get better ; she had to take advantage of that! She shouldn't be discouraged this time... no... well... she hoped that.

To Miho's surprise, Alice was rather relaxed tonight. Was it Dogmeat, unusually happy and cuddly, who made her feel so nice? Or was it something else? In any case, after this moment of stress, the redhead felt better, even after having failed to argue with her beloved. At times, she thought she saw a form she knew well alongside the little one. The same that was behind the window the evening she seemed to dialogue with. More and more, she sensed it... it was what she feared, but it seemed to help the small one to recover. Kinuyo looked as if she had something to tell her. No negative, in any case: her gaze seemed more lively than anytime before. As if she had regained hope. As if by negotiating with fate to get along with the little blonde, she finally saw the end of the tunnel.

This little dinner made an idea rise in Miho's mind. A curious, but very good idea. She remembered those interminable truth or dare games when she was younger. This would be an unstoppable way of bringing her lover closer to the blonde and reforming a unit and in a real way. In addition, this would allow them to find a little childlike innocence in this world devastated by three atom bombs. Her smile caught Kinuyo's attention, who after the meal beckoned her to come a little farther. Impatient to tell her about her idea, Miho followed the brunette with great pleasure. They knelt near the entrance, hearing the few generations of locusts reborn to play their pleasant song, as well as the chorus of the sea sounding in the wind behind.

"So what did you want to tell me?" the ginger questioned, excited.

"You first", the brunette said, smiling. "I will say what I have to say after. Go ahead."

After a little hesitation, Miho whispered in her ear:

"I planned to play truth or dare around a campfire tonight... we'll be able to use the marshmallows we found in the closets."

Kinuyo, surprised, put her hands on Miho's shoulders and her eyes suddenly seemed full of joy.

"But... I knew you would do something tonight!" she exclaimed happily. "I knew it, Miho! That's what I wanted to tell you! I knew exactly that you would have an idea and I was going to ask you what it was!"

"Oh please, don't tell me you know telepathy now," the ginger chuckled.

"No, I think it's a coincidence... but that's what I wanted to tell you, I wanted to ask you if you were planning to do something, and it turns out that listening to my gut was a good thing", Kinuyo replied enthusiastically.

Miho hugged her, then stared at her deep pupils. The passion had never faded, far from it. She felt an immense emotion taking over her, then embraced her warmly. Kinuyo was as delicate as the first day; she didn't hesitate and pressed Miho's face against her own. Their kiss, warm and affectionate, plunged them back into their beginnings. On the scale of time, they had been together only recently, but it seemed like a thousand years to them. Full of hope and determined to build something, Miho knew what to do that night.


	34. Chapter 33

**Author's note : Hello here! It took a bit more than I expected it to take, but it's here! Chapter 33 is here! And I have a little fun fact about this chapter...**

 **Not counting the author's note and the quote, I made sure this chapter, in both translated and original versions, is... 3,333 words long! It would be such a shame to miss such an opportunity to play with the number of words.~ Next chapter will come next week, as usual. **

**Merry Christmas to you all, and enjoy your reading!**

* * *

 _"So have a little faith and trust_  
 _In what tomorrow brings_  
 _You'll reach a star_  
 _Because there are such things"_

 _\- Tommy Dorsey_

* * *

Using the lighter, Kinuyo, by the light of the flashlight, lit the few little branches they had picked up and waved a fan found in the house above them to make the fire start. It was much easier than slamming two stones or rubbing dry pieces of wood! It didn't take long for the flames to appear. _"It was a pleasure to burn"_ said the inscription... burning some branches was such a pleasure for the trio, of course!

While her girlfriend was busy giving birth to this blazing, fiery creature, Miho brought three pikes and a pack of marshmallows. Alice was just behind, coming with Dogmeat, looking a little hesitant and very excited at once. Her expressions were still as difficult to decipher, but it was above all in her gaze that something could be seen. This evening was going to be as nice as the one they had spent in Kanazawa Castle, that evening when they had told ghost stories and urban legends... Miho still remembered it. She wished the few joyful moments could be eternal.

The ginger sat next to Kinuyo, who was checking that everything was fine. Alice sat on the other side, finding herself sandwiched between the two. At least she could feel their presence fully. She would have liked to be able to invoke the spirits to also invite Hosomi and Tamada to the party. Would she see their ghosts at some point? Perhaps. In any case, Miho refused once again to have negative thoughts. She pricked a marshmallow and started roasting it above the fire. She loved the sensation of its hot texture that melted on her tongue. When they were camping with their family, Miho and Maho were only waiting for that: to grill those precious delicacies they both loved so much. The sugar was caramelized, giving an orange tint to the marshmallow. A little more time near the flames and it would be good. She waited a few more seconds, then pulled the candy out of the fire, blew on it on and put it in her mouth like a letter in a box. Delicious. Its warmth filled her with immense satisfaction. Dogmeat approached and sniffed the pike. Alice laughed ; Miho gently pushed the dog's muzzle away.

"No," she whispered softly. "Not for you, boy. It isn't good for your body."

"He's such a greedy little one," Kinuyo laughed. "He would eat anything..."

"Too greedy, I think," Alice said. "He'd poison himself from gluttony."

The little girl tapped on the ground.

"Come here, Dogmeat!" she called.

The dog didn't think twice. He sat by her side and seemed to be watching the trio. Miho, moved, spoke. She knew what to ask...

"Well, I'll start... We're going to go clockwise, so I ask the question to Alice, then to Kinuyo, and then the leader changes. Truth or dare, Alice?"

The little girl raised her head.

"Uh...dare?" she said, seeming drawn from her thoughts.

Miho grinned. She wouldn't have thought it to happen so quickly.

"Go and hug Kinuyo."

Alice jumped. The brunette remained calm. She turned to the blonde. Would this challenge release the tension?

After a few seconds of hesitation, the girl approached Kinuyo. The latter, seeing that the little girl seemed still unsure of herself, whispered:

"You don't have to be scared... come on, I'm not going to bite you."

Miho couldn't believe what she was seeing. Alice opened her arms and hugged Kinuyo, who let herself being embraced. The small one looked shaken by the events. To tell the truth, it was the first time she had such close contact with the one she had hated and hurt for weeks. She felt for the first time this desire of being closer to her, being her friend, and especially this regret, this regret for having hurt her so much, more even than the day when she was almost strangled to death. Miho saw that Kinuyo was so gripped by the emotions that she was brought to tears. She had no sobs, but these tears meant everything. She caressed Alice's upper back like a lost and frightened child she would comfort. It was such a strong moment that if the Polaroid had been next to her, the redhead would have photographed them. Then after a few more long seconds, Alice withdrew from the brunette

"You see now... it wasn't that hard, in the end... you're on the right track..." the latter gently murmured.

Unable to reply, the little girl merely walked away, but seemed more relaxed. Her features were slightly relaxed, although she seemed to be wondering. Miho was thrilled. Kinuyo smiled at her, then wiped her eyes with the back of her left sleeve and seemed to try to cover her emotions. They continued for a while, going through all the possible and imaginable challenges, from the simple triple skewer of marshmallows to a complete turn around the house singing loudly a silly rhyme. Time for sleep came soon: each one started to feel tired, and the day would probably be hard tomorrow, it was necessary to rest in times like these.

After wishing good night to the other two, Alice sat down on the bed. She waited until Dogmeat came and let him climb onto the bed. But as she covered herself before sleeping, she heard someone knocking on the door.

"Yes?" the little girl replied.

"Will you let me in?" an unknown voice spoke.

Dogmeat went down and scratched at the door to tell his owner to open it. Alice felt her heart accelerate and her breath getting shorter. Who was this girl who sounded like neither Miho nor Kinuyo, but who knocked anyway? And above all, how did she enter this house?

"Tell me who you are first," the blonde said. "Then I'll let you in."

"You already know me," the voice replied. "We never really met when we were alive, though..."

Alice, more and more afraid, answered in a trembling voice:

"In our lifetime?" Wait, are you kidding me? Can the dead talk?"

"I told you.. you already know me... you've already seen me. Open, please. I don't want to have to charge into the door. Even if I can technically go through it... I want you to open it. Now."

The presence was threatening, but didn't awaken the dog's sense of danger. It was... weird. Alice decided to try it all and opened the door.

She thought she had dreamed. It was a girl who strangely reminded her of someone... Bright and not very opaque... a ghost... She had a pale complexion, perhaps even more than when she was still alive. She was wearing a uniform that reminded her of Kinuyo's: a brown jacket but this time with a red collar, a short yellow skirt... boots... Her black hair was pulled back, tied in a braid held by a white ribbon, she had reddish eyes and... it was the one who had visited her the night she had the bad idea of opening the urn!

"Good thing I didn't have to get angry. Otherwise, I would have charged, as Chihatan's great tradition has taught us... I have nothing to follow since it's gone, though..."

"Are you...?"

The ghost moved to the bed, and told Alice to sit down by a gesture of the hand. She had a firm and almost aggressive look, but nevertheless devoid of any malevolence.

"Let me introduce myself. I'm Tamada. Haru Tamada. We already know each other, Alice Shimada... Come on... do you remember me?"

"But how do you know my n-"

"I see everything," Tamada cut her off. "I've been watching over Kinuyo and Miho since I passed on the other side. I even know that you see me from time to time. Hosomi also knows many things too. You can't lie to me, because I would know it right away. I've seen lots of things, already, since I died."

"But why did you wait until I would go towards Kinuyo to come and see me?" the little girl asked, not understanding. "I mean, you could have come earlier...? You did when I opened your tin!"

Tamada seemed to be getting closer to Alice. She looked less threatening, but still remained quite firm. Her posture was still a domineering one, but she probably didn't intend to.

"You see, I don't like when people purposely hurt my friends. Let's be honest. I hated to see you causing her such stress and pain. But I put myself in your place and I know it's hard to feel abandoned and left out. I know your type... You never had a lot of friends, am I wrong? That's why you're so afraid that Miho will leave you. You were very lonely at the university because of your age, right?"

"Yes... this is true..."

"Yet, you must understand that Miho will never abandon you. It's not because she loves Kinuyo that her whole life revolves around her. And even if it did, she wouldn't forget about you. I only knew her for a very short time before I died, but I know that, because I now observe her. She's a nice person."

"Do you know anything about the future?" Alice asked.

"Not really. I'm mostly a witness. I have to tell you... it's normal to be jealous. Hosomi and I talked about it. As you must know because of her diary, she intended to hurt Kinuyo because she... feels a bit more than friendship towards me. She never actually tried to hurt her, but I said a few words to her once I died. The advantage of being a ghost is that you can talk with anyone in private. The living only hear us if we want to be heard."

Tamada's reddish eyes were beginning to soften. Alice was remaining on her guard. She had never spoken to a ghost and was beginning to seriously question her sanity. Was it true? Was she imagining everything? Was she going insane?

"Tell me... how does dying feel like? I've been asking myself this question for a while..."

"When you die, Alice, it's like a dreamless sleep... you wake up near your body, it seems like a split second has passed, and you see yourself dead... it can be quite frightening... but it feels odder than anything else. And then, no one sees us except when we want to. We talk with other dead people. We have a different point of view... and sometimes we regret what we did... a lot..."

She stopped, then resumed:

"You know, when I learned that Hosomi had died, I... lost my will to live, if you see what I mean. I knew my turn would come the same evening. Because Kinuyo had found someone to hold on to and because my body stopped fighting. I also regretted having abandoned our fellow Fukuda, too... because I realize how bad and how blind I've been. She is still alive, even if two of our teammates have joined us on the other side... one lost her life in the mutiny, and the other succumbed to an illness and to stress. I forbid you to say anything to Kinuyo about it, though..."

Alice didn't reply. Tamada sighed and looked at her, smiling slightly, a gleam of desolation in her eyes. Her expression had changed. The firmness gradually faded away to uncover a friendly face.

"You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?" she murmured. "Your loneliness... then the apocalypse, the vault... what happens to you... a feeling of abandonment... your mother... your uncertainties... difficult to overcome, isn't it?"

The little girl remained silent again. Tamada placed her spectral hand on her shoulder. Alice felt a terrible cold coming from it. The same cold that had surrounded her when she opened her urn... the same almost paralyzing and oppressive cold that passed through her every time a spirit was around.

"There's a glimmer of a good person inside of you. You don't know how to express yourself correctly... but you don't want any harm to anyone. Not even Kinuyo. You just have a hard time accepting that she's here, and tonight you figured out what you actually always wanted to do... be closer to her, and consider her as a family member. If I had survived, we could have been friends."

"Can't we be friends with the dead?" Alice muttered, trembling from fear and cold caused by the ghost's hand at the same time.

"I don't think I'll be able to consider myself friends with someone who has hurt a loved one so violently... but I don't have any hostile feelings towards you, and I will always be there to help you if you need, Alice. You have nothing to fear from me. I'm your ally. Not yet your friend, but your ally."

The little girl raised her head. Tamada walked away and looked into her eyes.

"It's time for me to leave, Alice. I will come back if I sense you need me. You might meet Hosomi soon too. Take care of Miho, Kinuyo, and never, ever do anything bad to her again. Understood?"

"Understood..."

The ghost seemed to light up. When Alice blinked, Tamada was gone. Was it a dream? Was it reality? Dogmeat didn't seem disturbed. He stared at her with his big black eyes, then came back to lie down beside her and soon fell asleep. The little girl went to bed, full of questions after this strange encounter. She began to wonder how things would have been if she had known her alive. Her eyes closed naturally, exhausted by constant thinking.

The next day, they were back on the road, like every morning. August was advancing. One day they would be in September, then in October, then in November, then in December, and in January a new year would begin. Miho and Alice would have their birthdays, followed by Kinuyo a month and half later. The school year that they should have begun would end in March, and another, non-existent, would begin in April. Even the school no longer existed. To be educated, they would have to do it by themselves, and the work would probably be less diversified. What profession could be brought back in a post-apocalyptic world? Dealer? Mercenary? Prostitute? Miho would never want to accomplish such a task, even for money. She preferred dealing drugs rather than sell her body or kill innocent people. And apart from Kinuyo, she didn't want anyone to touch her in such a way. And what would Alice become? Alice, who, even if she was in university, was so young? How would she educate herself? There would only be pre-war books... for things that might be impossible to do in the post-war era.

Chugoku, even after a nuclear apocalypse, was nevertheless a superb region. They passed under a mountain by a Shinkansen railway and eventually came to Furukawakita Hanecho, a small village in the Oda municipality. The house in which they stopped tonight was located just in front of a wall of bamboos and a few hydrangea bushes. The flowers were withered and dried up. Kinuyo approached, followed by Miho, seeming to recall things.

"What's the matter?" the ginger asked.

"It was Hosomi's favourite..." her lover whispered, taking one of the flowers in her hand, contemplating this dead bloom that had seen the end of the world.

A shiver ran through her as she stared at the many petals of the flower. She suddenly felt the presence of her former friend, as it already happened. Surrounded by an immense calm contrasting with this shudder, she heard a murmur as if from afar.

 _"Forgive me..."_

The hydrangea, in her hand, seemed to gradually regain its colours, resuming its existence, without being visible to anyone else. Its magnificent bluish petals reappeared, as if the spirit of Hosomi started possessing the flower. No fragrance emerged from it, but a sweetness and an emotion emanated from it as smoke escaped from a wood fire. But it was perhaps merely an illusion; Miho continued on her side to see a dead flower. She could only see Kinuyo staring at a forever gone, withered blossom. The redhead gave her a pat on the shoulder ; surprised, the brunette dropped the flower and turned to her.

"Miho... did you see what I saw?" she said, destabilized.

"No, but I think I understood..." Miho murmured.

"Hosomi asked me for forgiveness... and I don't know how to react to that. I suffered so much because of her, and she apologized only a good month after her death... how would you react if it happened to you? I feel a bit lost, actually..."

"I'll be honest with you," Miho said. "Alice has made you suffer a lot too, and yet you only wanted one thing, to be closer to her so you could give her all the affection remaining in you. Hosomi almost did the same thing, even if she remained passive... it would be unfair not to forgive her, and above all, I know that deep down you are waiting for that..."

Kinuyo took more time to answer, but nodded, knowing what to do without knowing how. As soon as she'd be able to, she would forgive Hosomi... even if it was difficult and the anger she kept inside her heart was still present, but buried very deep. She took Miho's hand and went inside the house. The ginger was pleased. She had, with no doubt, reformed a broken friendship. She just hoped she didn't do more harm than good. Was it really so essential to reconcile Hosomi and Kinuyo? She already got in trouble from playing mediator too much... that experience with Alice, although having finally ended well even if everything was probably not won, was still very recent.

Just before the meal, Miho opened a window and leaned against the ledge, thoughtful. Kinuyo, a little farther, was looking for the rations in the supplies bag. The redhead hesitated for a moment to leave the suitcase, but didn't want to add so much weight on her partner's shoulders. The last time they had got busy, she noticed a red mark at the place where the strap was. Kinuyo almost never complained when she felt pain, which made her decision even more difficult. She didn't know if the bag would destroy her back and shoulder or if she could endure such an effort. Her physical strength wasn't superhuman, Miho knew it well, but it was, in any case, a little better than her own. The weight was perhaps too heavy. Removing the suitcase would mean adding weight to Kinuyo, who would end up being the whole trio's mule, except for Alice, who in her backpack had her Boko already taking up space, the vault jumpsuit , Hosomi's diary hidden in it, the Pip-Boy that she used to wear around her arm and a few dog treats. Miho didn't like the idea of not carrying anything while her girlfriend and her companion were making a big effort. It was partly why she kept the suitcase. Inside, there wasn't much: she was the only one who kept her Pip-Boy on her arm. There was hardly anything left of what she had picked up in the vault, except from the blanket, vault jumpsuit, and some bandages. She wanted to keep Tamada's ashes for Kinuyo, but she refrained from doing so. Her lover wouldn't stand being separated from her late best friend. She always kept Hosomi's dogtag in the pocket of her jacket, but the urn would remain in the supplies bag, it was certain. Perhaps it was necessary to take smaller quantities of food and water. Miho had the whole evening to think about it. She thought of speaking to her when they would be in bed, in private.

To what these excuses between Kinuyo and Hosomi would lead? And what would happen next? And would the situation with Alice evolve in a good way, and this time, definitively?

* * *

 **Author's note bis : I don't usually put an author's note at the end of the chapter, but it was to avoid spoilers... did you notice three major things happened here? 3,333 words, three major things happening... **

**Hahaha, have a good week, and don't eat too much chocolate for Christmas! I trust you, mate!**


	35. Chapter 34

**_Author's note : Hello there! I hope Christmas eve has been good for you, and that you received lots of lovely little things. I'm feeling a bit bloated from overeating during Christmas, but fine otherwise. Next chapter comes next week, as usual. ~_**

 ** _Enjoy this chapter, and Happy New Year to everybody!  
_**

* * *

 ** _NOTE :  
This chapter contains a sex scene._** ** _Nothing too explicit, but it's more described than the last one._** ** _  
_** ** _Again, I prefer to warn you._**

* * *

 _"Whether the day is bright or gray give me your heart to rely on  
_ _Send me the warmth of a secret smile  
_ _To show me you haven't forgot  
_ _Now and forever , that always and ever  
_ _Little things mean a lot"_

 _\- Kitty Kallen_

* * *

"Say, I was wondering..." Miho begun, covering herself with the duvet.

"Go ahead," Kinuyo said, listening.

"I thought of getting rid of the suitcase, but I don't want to put more weight on your shoulders," the redhead explained. "I know that the strap leaves you quite a mark on your collarbone... and how it must kill your back."

"I'm getting used to it," the brunette replied. "I might end up with some scars, but it won't be long anymore... we must have what... two, three weeks remaining? It will be fine when we'll arrive."

"Do you prefer me to keep the suitcase or shall I leave it?" the ginger asked.

"Do as you feel", her lover replied. "I prefer you to take something rather than feel guilty for carrying nothing."

"Well, let's keep it..."

Miho spreadeagled on the bed, disclosing her almost nude body. She only wore her underwear. Kinuyo laughed lightly and approached her. She didn't say anything ; she was simply staring deeply, intensely into her eyes, as she knew so well how to do it. Miho's eyes, her beloved Miho, whose eyes resembled those of a doe when their pupils were as dilated as in that light. She knelt down against the wall, still on the bed, and invited her to come. Miho stepped forward and sat astride her girlfriend's thighs. Kinuyo didn't take off her almost black eyes from hers, forgetting all that was around.

"We share this dream of sunlight, and I see your light ready to unite with mine..."

"You could have become a poet," Miho chuckled. "Just before the game against the University, you brought these... how did you call them? 'Twenty-two brave steel lions'?"

"Yes, this is true, I think I wasn't creative enough, but still, I didn't really have time to write such things, though I'd have loved to."

"It doesn't matter, we both know very well what you mean", the ginger replied. "I also see your light, and I guess that it's dying to form one with mine..."

Kinuyo smiled and let Miho move closer, feeling her soft and thin body, this skin that reminded her of the almost white sands of the beaches they walked on everyday. Miho put a finger just above her partner's breasts and kissed her near the back of the neck, moving small strands of hair with her nose. Kinuyo knew it was her weak point: she felt her whole body reacting to this. And Miho went even further, beginning to nibble her neck. The brunette struggled to resist the fierce desire that burned in herself; her hands finally unfastened Miho's bra, and they finally kissed each other more and more passionately, moving from some pecks on the lips to a veritable waltz of their tongues engaging in a wild dance, the atmosphere feeling like a forest fire. And the caresses continued, all more exciting than the others.

Miho started removing what was left of her underwear, then put her hands on Kinuyo's chest, looking at her with loving pupils. The brunette denuded her breasts and let herself be gently touched. The ginger also started slowly and sensually caressing her sides, finally to go down her belly, while staring at her, as if waiting. Kinuyo waved her hand as they advanced a little further into the bed and Miho sat next to her, still lowering her small fingers to a strategic location. The brunette spread her legs a little more and let her head rest simply on the pillow. She thought of only one thing: she wanted Miho to make her feel the sensations in such a way that it would make her forget everything else like a drug would do. Forgetting regrets, forgetting this profound sorrow in herself, forgetting her fears and darkest placed, being with her and only her.

Miho, silent, looked deep inside her soul as she started letting her fingers do the work on this soft, warm and damp part. The temperature rose a little more. Kinuyo put a hand on her lover's arm, already beginning to feel her heart accelerating.

"You should have some too," she whispered, urging her to step back and lay over her. "We'll have it at the same time... or we'll try..."

"I never tried that," Miho giggled. "I'm curious to see how it could turn out..."

She sat on the brunette's lower part. Their pink fortresses touched each other. Kinuyo gave her this characteristic look. Miho immediately understood: she started waving her lower abdomen, one hand on her girlfriend's thigh and the other stroking her own breasts as the pleasure started rising, even though it didn't last and they had to try out something else to truly experience the arousal they sought.

They were beginning to know their preferences in this matter. For hours, as they could spend sometimes, their hearts merged, their bodies intertwined, touched and loved each other. Every second that passed during these moments when they wildly felt their reciprocal affection, they sought only one thing: the heat of their bodies that rose again and again, this sensation that could come to a screaming explosion, this closeness, the deepest of the intimate states that could exist.

Miho was laying down against Kinuyo, who held her and continually stroked her coppery hair. Everything was silent. The blankets were at their feet, pushed back into the heat of the action. The day seemed to be starting to rise. Through the window, they could see the blue sky that was beginning to turn into a paler colour. The silence was broken by the surviving birds' songs.

"The nightingales..." Kinuyo whispered, continuing to feel Miho's reddish hair between her long and thin fingers. "The sound of the nightingale... do you hear it?"

"It's the lark, I think, that sings at dawn," Miho replied with a chuckle in her voice, her eyes closed, feeling the warmth of the brunette's body. "It's daylight, I can feel those streaks of light in the distance... in the East... night's over..."

"I think we should get some sleep instead of talking about birds, or else the day will be quite hard," said the brunette, a little chuckle in her voice. "I wonder what time it is..."

"Early enough for the day to come and for the larks to start singing..." Miho whispered. "It's never too late to sleep..."

They soon drifted off to wake up around noon. Dogmeat's barking drew them out of their dreams. Kinuyo felt her beloved's hand shaking her slightly and opened her eyes. Miho was gently looking at her, her amber pupils full of affection.

"Hello", she murmured, smiling.

"I wonder for how long we've slept," the brunette said. "What time is it?"

Miho glanced at the Pip-Boy on the nightstand.

"Half past eleven," she replied. "We fell asleep around half past five..."

"Oh, I think Alice must have got up. She always wakes up before we do. And even... we spent a rather active night, if you see what I mean..."

Kinuyo got out of bed, then got dressed. Miho did the same and went downstairs first. The brunette took the dogtag and the urn, then followed her. She stroked Hosomi's item with her thumb. While they were recovering their night, she had dreamed about seeing her and forgiving her, but had she really interacted with her late friend in her sleep or was it only a figment of her imagination?

When she sat down at the table while the ginger brought the rations like every day, she felt that her shoulder was being tapped. Kinuyo turned her head. It was Alice! Day after day, she became friendlier and friendlier. She said nothing, but had a shy little smile and her eyes were softer than before.

"Have you come to say hello?" the brunette questioned in a warm tone.

"Yes, I wanted to say hello, but I didn't really know how to come to you," the little girl whispered, still a little reserved.

"Just greet me and everything will be fine. You don't have to worry too much."

"Have you slept well?" the blonde asked, trying to get rid of her shyness.

Hearing these words, Kinuyo's face turned bright red and she couldn't help but be taken over by an uncontrollable laugh, that same laugh she couldn't contain after the first night she and Miho had made love, when Alice had spoken of vaguely having heard noise but taken this for a simple bird. Miho arrived at that moment and found her girlfriend doubled up on the table, unable to stop her laughter. She smiled and put a hand on Alice's shoulder, then laid each other's food.

"Yes, we slept well," she said. "Have you eaten yet?"

Crying from laughing, Kinuyo opened Miho's box of biscuits, then her own to distract her mind and calm down. The more the topic of sleep came in the conversation, the more she wanted to laugh from embarrassment. It did it to her every time the rather delicate topics were evoked elsewhere than in bed, alone with Miho. She was often the first to laugh when in Chihatan, before the war, the conversations went on this ground.

"I opened a can of tuna and I gave a little to Dogmeat. He's outside, if you're looking for him."

The redhead sat in front of her girlfriend. Alice went back to her dog. Miho looked very relaxed, far from all the stress she had experienced these past weeks. Even her complexion seemed to have recovered its true shade. Kinuyo felt like she was seeing things more vividly since everything had got better. The colors seemed more visible, it was strange to observe. What would the others have said? They would surely have thought she was crazy... or they might have adhered to her ideas on the sole pretext that she was popular among her peers.

Kinuyo remembered what Tsutsuji Tsuji, the former Chihatan commander who had left at the time of the reform and about whom she thought often, had once told her.  
 _"Once you are loved by all, people will approve everything you say, but as soon as you disappear from their existence, they will forget you and come back to themselves. They are merely egoists and want to boast about being your friend. They actually hate you so much, because they envy you and convince themselves that they love you. That's why I act so harshly with most, Nishi-san. I refuse to be abused, but you are so kind... you're way, way too good for this world."_  
She regretted not having being able to see her one last time before the apocalypse. In fact, she was full of regrets despite the end of her major problems. Fukuda... the others...  
She wanted to go back in time to make better choices. Refusing to be commander, first. Ensuring that Tsuji-san would remain in this role, even if it meant doing administrative tricks and having to bribe people at the risk that it would backfire later. Write that damned autobiography and some haiku. Remember the sukiyaki recipe.  
She wanted to go back in time. She wanted so badly to have this ability, even if she had to cause a gigantic typhoon, or a murder, perhaps even a suicide from the roof of Chihatan's dormitories where she had her room: that person might have been well... herself, after the departure of Tsuji-san and being chosen as her successor! Or Kubota, who had hanged herself in the vault, might have died sooner! Nagura would have been taken away by the pneumonia that had failed to kill her a year ago! Ikeda would have been hit by this car that she wouldn't have heard coming .. Hamada would have made this accidental overdose that she had narrowly avoided... Hosomi and Tamada wouldn't have been able to prevent her from jumping from the roof... Her parents would have mourned her loss...  
This would have saved her from questioning the real reason for her popularity, and it would have avoided all the stress and mental fatigue of having to command people who listened to her in rare occasions while she herself hated to command others. But she would never have met Miho, her source of happiness... basically, it was perhaps better that way, in this post-apocalyptic world.

"Is something bothering you?" Miho asked, feeling that something was wrong.

"I was remembering Tsuji-san, the former commander of our school. I miss her. In fact, I've always missed her since she was gone. I loved her so much... she had become my friend."

Astonished, Miho approached her and turned her gaze, showing that she was listening.

"Do you miss her so much?"

"Yes," Kinuyo replied. "It was someone who was very hot-headed, she was even stricter than Tamada and Hosomi, but was such kind... you would have had a hot-cold effect when seeing her. You'd swear she was even mean, but she just couldn't stand to reveal herself. She was a bit like me, on this point. She held back a part of herself, but not for the same reason."

"The way you describe her reminds me of Maho", the redhead whispered. "Maho keeps a cold front, but when she's with me, she's the most adorable person in the world. She must keep this facade, because the Nishizumi style is like that..."

"To tell the truth, few liked her. They were afraid of her. It wasn't that she was colossal, she was even a little smaller than most of us, but her voice was quite loud and very firm, she yelled at us sometimes. However, if you talked to her outside of tankery, you would have realized how big-heartedshe was. She shouted at me more than once, I have already cried so much because of how she was scolding me, but she was nevertheless a nice person. My friends loved her too."

Miho didn't answer, but her eyes were already saying long about her state of mind. Kinuyo knew she was listening and felt she was trying to imagine the situation. She resumed:

"In fact, she knew what would happen if Chihatan were to lose again... so she wanted at all costs to lead her school to victory, even if it meant being brutal. In the end, we lost anyway, and she was fired. She chose me as her successor... and when she left, she came to say goodbye. I hugged her, but when I had to let go, I instantly burst into tears and I turned to not see her going away, it was too much to bear. We stayed in touch until... you know, three... triple..."

"At least I hope for you that she is still alive... Or if she is no more alive, she watches over you. She reminds me in a way of Momo Kawashima... a member of our Student Council... they would have got along quite well."

"Oh, you know, even if she was still with us, I think I couldn't see her again. Because... because, in addition, we are very far away, and it's Maho that we must find. It's your plan that counts. It's you who leads the way, Miho. If I do the same and walk a long way to find her, I will do it later, out of respect for you."

Miho let out a light sigh and took her hand, then interlocked her thin fingers with her own, smiling, affectionate. Kinuyo felt the closeness increasing. She wasn't afraid that Miho would go away; she trusted her more than anyone else. Miho would never abandon her. They remained there some time before standing up. It would be soon time to leave.

Kinuyo went to take the supplies bag while Miho was waiting for her outside. Alice and Dogmeat were joining her. As the brunette got up with the bag, a shape appeared right in front of her. It was Tamada: it was probably the first time she appeared directly before her eyes! Her deceased, silent friend looked at her in a way that indicated she wanted to show her something. Tamada pointed her arm to Alice, then turned her gaze towards the brunette.

"What are you trying to tell me?" Kinuyo whispered, having trouble getting her.

With a wave of her hand, she pointed her finger to her heart. Tamada nodded. Understanding directly what had happened but still a little worried, the brunette contained her smile.

"Really? Is she going to...?" she muttered.

The ghost girl nodded again and smiled, a victorious look on her face. Kinuyo was dying to hug her, to jump on her, to cover her with cuddles and affection. She merely thanked her gently, knowing well that she was only going to hug air if she tried to hug her. Tamada had improved the situation, and thanks to her, things were going to get really better. That was one of the best feelings in the world. Kinuyo stepped outside and joined Miho and Alice, looking unusually joyful and revived.

"Well, have you had a revelation?" the ginger laughed, passing an arm around her shoulders. "One more?"

"I'll tell you about it later..." the brunette said, her lips showing her deep happiness.

Alice was staring at them, waiting patiently to leave. She no longer looked aggressive at all; she rather seemed to be wondering why Kinuyo was so happy all of a sudden. Had she seen Tamada as well? The brunette thought of it. Perhaps her late friend sermonised the little girl. After all, Tamada was very fond of her loved ones and couldn't bear to see them being hurt. Yet, despite the fact she was quite hot-blooded and impulsive, she had nothing wicked, nor even real violence in her; it was almost all bark and no bite. Everything came out often, she accumulated less and the explosions were rather effusions, like a red volcano. Alice seemed to never feel anything... she was always stone-faced. Knowing what it was to be someone who bottled up her anger, Kinuyo preferred not to imagine what would happen if the little girl were to get angry. Perhaps it would be much more explosive and destructive than her own violence.

The journey to Nimacho Maji seemed to pass quickly. It was a small village of the immense Shimane Prefecture where they still were. The whitish, sandy beach reminded them of all the places where they had walked until now. Their house for this evening had a very modern aspect: compared to some already visited, this one looked almost Western. Gray bricks, white roughcast. An almost square shape. The interior was very westernized. Wherever they had been, in any case, they had seen a western-ish interior, but which still had its Japanese influence. This one looked like almost like an European house inside. An example of Westernization. It was these same Westerners who had thrown three - no, five! - atom bombs on Japan... Kinuyo thought about it. She wasn't intolerant of foreigners at all, she was even very tolerant, but was beginning to feel some resentment towards America. They had scarred the country twice. She tried not to dwell too long on this idea and put the bag on the living room table.

When she was relieved of the weight, she felt the tension in her back suddenly relaxing, as if she finally realized the heaviness of what she was carrying. She sat down on the sofa, wanting to take a rest, and closed her eyes, letting her head fall against the back. She spent no more than a minute in this position, hearing Miho coming back downstairs and feeling something cold and wet touching her thigh. She opened her eyelids; Dogmeat was sniffing her hands and looked at her gently, his mouth open and his tongue hanging down. Kinuyo gently scratched his little head and let him climb onto the couch. The redhead, a little farther, watched them with a smile. Alice soon came; she sat down next to the dog.

"Aren't you too tired?" the blonde asked, sounding warmer than before.

"I'm fine, don't worry," replied the brunette, despite being exhausted. "I keep going, and I'm not about to stop."

"You're a true fighter," Alice whispered. "Like Miho. I begin to realize that I was so wrong... I've misjudged you so much."

"You've been slow to understand it, but we're always getting better, right?"

The little girl remained silent, then seemed to hesitate to do something. Dogmeat went down and came back behind her on the sofa. Kinuyo thought he had perceived her intention, but preferred to ask her:

"Do you want anything?" she said gently, not wanting to rush her.

"Coming from me, maybe it sounds a little weird but... can I lie down on your knees?" Alice murmured shyly.

Feeling her emotions set ablaze upon hearing this, Kinuyo nodded. She was truly satisfied. What she and Miho wanted long ago was finally there. Alice was acting warmly, friendly, almost like they were her true family. Alice put her head on the brunette's thighs and did not move. Kinuyo glanced a little farther. Miho had started choosing the evening's rations. She put a hand on the girl's little blond-haired head. Hosomi, Alice. Reconciliation. She thanked Tamada again and again, she had an irresistible desire to make Hosomi come back and talk to her.

"Pssht, Miho, look..." Kinuyo whispered.

The ginger turned. Alice was sleeping on Kinuyo's lap. The most unthinkable thing shortly before. She approached her lover and the sleeping blonde. Dogmeat remained behind and watched them, affectionate as ever. Miho crouched in front of them.

"She's sleeping well... I think we're all three very tired," murmured the redhead. "We'll have a good night."

"It's crazy how fate can change from one moment to the next..." Kinuyo replied, her eyes shining. "We are together, Alice opens up bit by bit... you know, I think more and more that we will find Maho."

"We'll find her," Miho said. "Certainly... it can only flow from the good things of this situation."

Having no room to lie down, the redhead told the dog to go down and looked at her girlfriend in the eyes, a loving smile on her lips. Things were back to normal, no more problems hovered over them... and for how long would this happiness stay?

* * *

 **Author's note bis : I just have to make a quick precision about Tsuji-san. She isn't my OC, I found her on Humikane's twitter, so I consider her as semi-official. It's nice to see the former commanders of our beloved schools. ~**


	36. Chapter 35

**Author's note : Happy New Year! I can't believe we're in 2017... holy shit, the years pass so quickly. I feel old. I hope your New Year's Eve has been going well.**

 **Sorry if this chapter came later, I had a little issue yesterday with my laptop... it crashed right when I was about to save the first half of my chapter. *shot* Next one will come next week, as usual.**

 **Enjoy your reading!~**

* * *

 _"This little bird told me when we marry_  
 _We'll have a pretty cottage"_

 _\- Evelyn Knight_

* * *

Miho shook the newly captured photograph, then turned to Kinuyo, who still had a hand on Alice's head. The little girl was still asleep. She had taken this picture to immortalize that moment forever, that moment which meant one of the greatest improvements in their situation, that adorable moment between the brunette and the blonde. No one would have ever imagined them like this a week ago. The feeling took possession of the atmosphere. Dogmeat himself seemed to be looking at her curiously. The image finally appeared. The picture was a little dark compared to the others, but still very pretty. Alice, quietly asleep, was lying on Kinuyo's lap, watching her as she would look at a little sister. The dim light went very well with the ambience. The redhead smiled. She would have taken three more but had to save the film in case she couldn't find more.

"I'll prepare tonight's meal... I'll leave you together," she said. "You have spent so few moments like this one..."

"Alright," Kinuyo murmured. "I'll wake her up for dinner if she's still asleep by then."

Miho searched the closets for something interesting. She picked up some food, as usual, but put her hand on a packet of dried sweet potatoes. The last time she had eaten them, she had finished the bag in two days at the beginning of her journey, when she had found a hidden hatch with her girlfriend near an area inhabited by raiders. Miho remembered the bloody fear they had that day. She hoped she would never come across such people again. While looking, she found a box of mochi. A bag of roasted almonds. A pot of sunflower seeds. Canned herrings. Many little things that were very nice. She chose to prepare the contents of the fish tins for tonight. There were only two, but she was almost ready to reduce her own ration so that her companion and her lover could eat their fill.

When she came back, Kinuyo and Alice were outside, both playing with the dog. Miho was immensely pleased with this vision. She saw them having fun, laughing loudly, chasing Dogmeat, throwing him a stick. A presence, by her side, started to be felt ; a cold wind blew against her ears. Miho turned her head: Hosomi stood there, looking quite emotional, even a bit tense. It changed completely from her usual piercing gaze. The ghost turned her eyes to her and opened her mouth as if she was about to say something, but disappeared before she could say anything. Miho wondered why she looked almost sad. Maybe she'd see her later. The answer would come when the time would be right, no doubt. The dead girl's look had something guilty in it. Yet Kinuyo had forgiven her. Were her misdeeds still tormenting her?

She continued watching them. She focused on her beloved's body, which was waving in her movements. Despite her slight awkwardness, she remained very graceful to her eyes. Her long, almost black hair seemed to be lost in the landscape. Alice, small and quick, looked like she was dancing. Her dress floated in the air. Her blonde hair took on a grayish hue under the light. And Dogmeat, still gently brutal, jumped to catch the stick. He opened his canine mouth, almost letting his tongue hang, and closed it on the end of the wood. His tail wagged furiously; he was animated by an amused nervousness, madly joyfu, and dropping the stick at Alice's feet. She took it back and threw it again. Kinuyo rushed after him, like she was charging, and leaped on him. The dog stopped and suddenly raised his head to slap his tongue between her eyes, causing her to jump and laugh at the same time.

Miho always felt this affection and happiness in herself at the sight of her lover when she was laughing loudly, free from all negative thoughts, like a star that shines in a sky that didn't have any hope of light. Kinuyo was her firefly, that firefly that had landed near her heart on the night they had their first kiss. She was the surviving firefly, the only one still standing among its fellows that had disappeared. The only one that still shone, the one that still had a small flame of life in itself. The other two had joined the stars. Miho felt like a white butterfly, like an innocent rose petal, reflecting the heart of the sun that beat every day over their heads, and set in the evening's orange glow. A butterfly that twirled around the firefly, so deeply luminous, and which, even after losing a large part of its gleam, still illuminated it. Alice was a moth, one who came only in the shade to hope to have company. Retired during the day, animated at night. The moth which, with its beige-brownish wings, was driving away the black wind to advance towards the light.

After a conversation-driven dinner, they all went to bed in a much more positive atmosphere than before. Maho would love that. At least, Miho wouldn't bring her two enemies constantly fighting, that was already a nice point! But would they survive until then? That was the last big question.

The next day, on leaving, the ginger felt an enormous stress invading her thoughts. Despite her happiness, she felt fearful. It was no doubt because they were getting closer and closer to Kitakyushu. Wouldn't it be safer to pass through the southeast of Yamaguchi Prefecture? They would get to Kyushu by boat on the Seto Inland Sea, passing beside Shikoku, and ending up in Oita Prefecture. Or maybe they'd take a bridge to Shikoku, and then go to Kyushu. She didn't know yet how she'd get there, but she still had some time to think about it. Going to Shimonoseki would be way too dangerous. They had to change their route. It was much, much safer. She would say a few words to Kinuyo and Alice this evening.

A sign told them where they'd sleep tonight: Minatonaka. The chosen house was surrounded by foliage, yellowed by the apocalypse, but having certainly been of a magnificent green in the past. It was summer, but this golden colour of the leaves gave an autumnal aspect. Despite the radiation, the flowers were still present. It was a true hope of life. The red tiles on the roof had a very nice effect on the white walls. They entered. The interior was dusty, but it seemed quite comfortable. The heat was cut by the thickness of the walls. The air felt very cool here.

"I'm.. I'm tired," Kinuyo whispered with difficulty, dropping the bag near the sofa. "I'm g..going to sleep a little more tonight, I think..."

Miho noticed a detail that shocked her: her complexion seemed to have suddenly paled. Kinuyo was breathing quite heavily, gasping as if she was trying not to pass out, and blinked like her vision was blurred and she tried to see more clearly.

"Are you feeling alright, dear?" Miho murmured, worried.

"So... so hot... I'm not feeling..well.." she replied in a low, exhausted voice.

"Come here, lay down on the sofa for some time..."

She took her lover's hand. By the time she expected an answer, she felt all of Kinuyo's weight starting to fall on her, inert and limp as a rag doll. Miho had a start and held the brunette to prevent her from hurting herself.

"Alice, help, she's fainting!" the ginger cried, terrified.

The small blonde girl rushed to the other two. Kinuyo, on the floor, was unresponsive. Her heart was beating normally, her chest rose at regular intervals, but she had collapsed almost suddenly. Was it fatigue, stress, heat or something else? Miho let her head rest on her lap, teary-eyed. Alice stood by, still impassive. Dogmeat soon joined them. The little girl kept him from approaching. She was going to ask Miho to turn the brunette on her side as she opened her eyes again. It hadn't lasted long: she had been unconscious for... twenty, thirty seconds? Looking a little confused and as if she was taken from her sleep, she seemed to wonder why she was lying on the floor.

"Can you hear me?" Miho said, trying to hide her tears. "Are you feeling good?"

Kinuyo did not answer, still a little lost, but seemed to have heard her. Dogmeat pushed Alice and advanced to the brunette. He began to lick her face frantically. She pushed back his muzzle and turned to Miho.

"How did I end up on the ground? I was feeling so hot... and then I find myself there the second after", she whispered, quite stunned.

"You passed out", Miho replied. "You scared me so much..."

"Yet I don't feel that bad.. I'm just exhausted, and hot, even if it's less than before I blacked out..."

"Maybe you should go to bed earlier tonight," suggested Alice. "Carrying heavy loads all day long is tiring. Your body is probably giving out because you won't stop pushing yourself..."

"I still have to hold on for some time", Kinuyo whispered. "We are still... well, I'd say roughly 300, 400 kilometers away from Kumamoto. There's no way I can allow myself to stop."

"Think about your health a bit", replied the little girl. "I don't think Miho would like it if you died from exhaustion."

At the moment her girlfriend was about to reply, the ginger put a hand on her shoulder and whispered to her to say nothing. Kinuyo sighed, looking a little lost, then rose up and sat down. Dogmeat returned to Alice's side. She was going outside.

"I'll take care of the meal and Alice," Miho said. "Take some rest."

"It hurts so much when I think I can't do anything for you", the brunette muttered. "I'm not a capable person. Only the weak collapse from exhaustion..."

"You've gone through quite hard times, you know," the ginger replied. "Alice is right. Your body needs rest. Try to sleep a little. You'll eat later, it's okay. You have to stop running yourself ragged and putting so much pressure on yourself. Think a little about your own needs first..."

Kinuyo remained silent, recognizing with no doubt that she was going way too far. She laid her head on the couch and turned against the back. Miho kissed her dark brown hair and went back to see Alice. She was worried. If Kinuyo, who had quite a strong health and had no medical condition to speak of, was starting to have fainting spells, that wasn't a good sign. Something was wrong, and impossible for now to know what. She remembered Tamada and her radiation sickness. Kinuyo didn't display the same symptoms, they were entirely different... It was certainly not that bad, because if it was, everyone, even Dogmeat, would be affected. Miho remembered something. Radiation could cause something else... cancer... she hoped with all her heart that it wasn't that. She promised to look for medical journals and other information about the symptoms of a cancer beginning to reassure herself. It probably wasn't that either, but she started imagining anything that could go wrong, even to a ridiculous point.

The girl was inspecting the street. On hearing Miho approach, she turned.

"How is she?" the blonde asked.

"I told her to sleep a little, but she seems fine," the redhead whispered. "Tell me... has anyone in your family ever had a serious illness that started in the same way?"

"Not that I know," Alice replied. "This kind of disease starts slowly, not all of a sudden like that... I think you shouldn't worry too much, she's probably just worn out."

"But what if something happened to her?" Miho shivered. "I couldn't stand to lose my loved one... she's so important to me..."

"Really... don't worry. You'll see, she'll get better once she'll have rested. You don't have to be so concerned... she's strong and healthy."

Miho sighed, still not very reassured, then choose to change the topic. After all, it might not be so serious, even if she preferred to keep an eye on how it evolved, just in case...

"Do you want to eat something in particular this evening among the food we have?"

"No, not really, choose what you want," the small one said. "I'm not too picky. As long as there are no anchovies, tomatoes, cheese and onions..."

"If you were in Anzio, you would starve to death," Miho chuckled. "Right, I'll prepare our dinner."

The little girl couldn't help but smile. Miho turned away and went back inside. She glanced at the couch. Kinuyo was laying down on it, asleep. She had taken a blanket in one of the closets and had literally swaddled herself in, as if to protect herself from something. Yet there was no threat. Only her head protruded and she was curled up in an almost fetal position, turned towards the back of the couch. Her sleep didn't look very deep, but at least she was resting. The redhead spent a long time looking at her, looking at the girl she loved who was sleeping after having scared her terribly. Unconsciousness, death and sleep had something oddly similar... seen that way. She wasn't as pale as when she had passed out earlier, though.

Miho took some cans from the supplies bag, and then started warming them up. She heard some noise a little farther. Kinuyo had perhaps got up, or Alice was back. Both, actually: the little girl arrived just as the brunette got up and folded the blanket. Miho took the opportunity to bring the meal to the table.

"Are you okay? Have you rested enough?" she asked her lover.

"Yes, I feel better," she replied. "I think I was just exhausted."

"Good", said Alice. "It was quite disturbing to see you like that."

"Don't worry about me. I'm fine now", Kinuyo replied, a smile on her lips.

They sat down and wished each other good appetite, then began to eat. For tonight, they had canned omelette. The taste was not bad, though slightly less good than a real one, but it calmed their hunger. Their stomachs weren't very demanding: they just needed to feel soothed. The water refreshed them and they didn't ask for more. Dogmeat had his canned meat ration. He was lapping the sauce at their side, but sometimes threw a glance at them, although he understood very well that he would not get any piece of their food.

It was dark when Alice went to bed. Miho, although she was also tired, remained near Kinuyo, who had taken out a sheet and ink and kept on writing. She first inscribed the name of the person to whom it was addressed, then tried to write a few haiku and other types of poetry, hoping to pass the time. The brown-coloured ink flowed on the paper and drew curves, sometimes strange ones. Miho concentrated on these forms. Kinuyo's handwriting was far from being neat, it was quite sloppy, which felt quite odd because of her traditionalism and perfectionism. Yet it was understandable, even if her eyes had to do terrible gymnastics at times to decipher these quickly written hieroglyphics.

"I'm going straight to bed," murmured the redhead. "I'm so tired... You should take rest too, don't forget about it..."

"I slept during the day, so I'll come later," the brunette whispered. "Go ahead, I'll join you in bed. Goodnight, love."

"Don't stay up too late."

Miho touched her chin with her finger to make her turn her head, then kissed her gently. Kinuyo repeated the gesture several times, then the redhead went away and laid down on the bed.

Being alone in the blankets to fall asleep felt quite strange. This was going to be one of the few times she would sleep alone, even if it was only for a few minutes, tens of minutes, perhaps... even hours? She didn't know when her girlfriend would come to join her, but covered herself with the quilt and forced herself to relax. There was no problem in their couple; after all, it's true, Kinuyo had slept during the day and was therefore less tired, even after having passed out. Miho was cold. She knew her love wasn't far and was safe, but wanted to feel her body against hers, feeling her warmth hugging her like every night since they had found each other again. She curled up on herself, hoping to feel a little warmer, and tried to rest a little.

Miho didn't know if she had fallen asleep and awakened hours later, but it seemed to her that she had closed her eyes for a second or two. She could hear a sound, that of the door opening, and that of a paper that was placed on one of the night tables. Kinuyo was coming back. It was undoubtedly the sheet on which she had incessantly scribbled poetry. She felt the brunette lying down beside her and kiss her lovingly, then raised her head.

"What time is it?"

"It's been about half an hour since you went to sleep," Kinuyo replied. "I'm here now, you don't have to be scared anymore..."

Miho felt her lover hugging her, just as she wished. She was serene now. She could sleep without asking herself a ton of questions. Alice was fine, Kinuyo was fine, Dogmeat was fine. Was Maho fine? Everything was fine. There was nothing to worry about...

Hoping for a peaceful day tomorrow, Miho let herself be carried away by sleep.


	37. Chapter 36

**Author's note : Hello there! This chapter was actually done translating yesterday, but I had some Internet issues so I couldn't post... Seems to be better today. Chapter 38 is fully done, and 39 is on the way. I'm going to hit 40 chapters already... at least 15 remain. Holy shit. This is definitely my longest work xD**

 **I hope you're all going well.~ As usual, next one comes next week, but it might take a bit more than usual exceptionnally because of lots of homework.**

 **Enjoy this chapter ! _  
_**

* * *

 _"One, two, three o'clock, four o'clock rock_  
 _Five, six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock rock_  
 _Nine, ten, eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock rock_  
 _We're gonna rock around the clock tonight"_

 _\- Bill Haley_

* * *

"Miho, I think I made a mistake... quite a bad one..."

Kinuyo's voice was shaking. Miho opened her eyes. The brunette looked both embarrassed and frightened at once. She was holding the sheet on which she had scribbled in her hand. Still a little drowsy and not understanding what was going on, the ginger rubbed her eyes and stood up.

"What's wrong?" she sighed, still sleepy.

"Remember last evening?... I thought the ink was brown..."

Miho took the paper and almost had a start. The ink was red. Everything was written in red. In the dark, Kinuyo hadn't perceived the ink's colour well and there was no label on the bottle that indicated its tint. The poems were in red. Their names were in red. The brunette trembled, terrified.

"It's said that when we write someone's name in red... they will..."

"Don't think about that, it's probably not true", Miho breathed. "It's in tradition not to write the names in red, but this story is probably only a legend... Calm down, my love. Don't be so afraid. If it bothers you too much, burn it... but please don't stress yourself out. You don't need that..."

"But now I'm so scared to be the one who..."

"No, it's okay, if that happens, it will be an unfortunate coincidence," replied the redhead, putting a hand on her beloved's forearm. "Come on, sit there and breathe deeply..."

"I'll spend my whole life blaming myself if..."

"Sit down," Miho firmly said. "Come on... take it easy. You're going to make me dizzy if you continue to panic so much."

She pulled her by the arm and forced her to sit on the bed. Kinuyo didn't dare to answer, but didn't resist. She lowered her head and seemed to take a look at the paper, then looked back at Miho.

"I don't want your health to deteriorate," murmured the redhead. "I just want you to be fine."

"It's hard..." the brunette said, putting a hand on her lover's cheek. "Well, already, things have improved... it's better than at first. And now I know that Tamada and Hosomi are watching over us. It's reassuring."

"Yeah, they may not interact directly with us, but they prove their presence..."

With these words, Miho stood up and helped her girlfriend getting up too, then went downstairs to eat some. They were back on the road again after breakfast.

Alice spent less and less time away from the couple. She still played with Dogmeat, but was getting closer and closer to them. Sometimes it was even her who was walking before the dog! It felt strange doing that after spending so much time at the back of the group. This warmed Miho's heart. She finally had what she had worked so hard for. Finally, happiness. Finally, the end of this indirect war between Alice and Kinuyo.

Gotsu was a small, peaceful town. Probably the smallest in the prefecture. Alice looked around her, as if she already knew the place, although she had never been there. Was this the sign of a past life, perhaps? No one would know, but it was interesting to theorize it. Dogmeat ran in all directions and sniffed everywhere, then seemed, as he had once done, to guide them. They followed him, curious to see where they'd end up this time. He stopped in front of an orange house, decorated with bricks at the corners of its walls. In front, right next to the road, planters with dead flowers, the only remain of the work of someone who lovingly cared about them during their vegetal lifetime. There were solar panels on the roof: would there actually be electricity and warm water? This would be such a relief after nights and nights in the dark and cold showers. Dogmeat scratched at the door: was it his old home, or had he chosen the place where his owners would spend the night?

The interior was more cozy than the other houses where they had gone, and great surprise for Alice: once again, there was a piano in the living room! Miho, wanting to see if the photovoltaic system was still working, tried to turn the light on: although the electricity was gone forever almost everywhere else, here, the solar panels had stored solar energy and, unexpectedly, there was light. Kinuyo pinched her to know she wasn't dreaming: no, it was electric light, real one, and they had a lot of luck this time! Dogmeat was such a little canine genius! It wasn't that surprising in the end, he was the best friend of Alice, the child prodigy of University!

Miho tested absolutely all the electrical appliances of the house, almost completely crazy with this reappearance of that long-lost energy she secretly longed for. Kinuyo remained looking at her, almost stifling a chuckle from seeing her wiggle around like that. She was so cute when she did that. She was even more than adorable to her. She looked like a little child discovering new things. Miho looked into the fridge, which was still working, but didn't find good food inside. After four months, nothing that wasn't either dry or canned could still be edible anyway...

Alice sat down at the piano. Since the last time she had played it in Yonago, she was only waiting for one thing, to see one again and finally get to hear its sound once more. She tried a key. It was tuned, no problem. Just as she was about to let go of her mind, the brunette sat beside her.

"Hey, I have an idea... Could we try a duet?"

"Good idea. I could help you improve the way you play and the sound of what you create", the little girl whispered.

Kinuyo moved to the left, and Alice stayed in her place. She tried to think of a melody. She remembered what the brunette had played when they were in Yonago. This sound that was so dark, so lonely and desperate, in an empty and lifeless house... She thought about it, then climbed a dozen semitones. She started playing the same melody, but quicker. It sounded different from the original. Kinuyo at first pressed a single key, but eventually gained confidence and alternated three keys. Then four, when she had in mind the movement of her hand and the sound generated by it. Miho came at that moment and started humming while being behind them. She whispered a song, without words, and sat down beside her lover on the bench, still singing that sweet melody that she had improvised in the tone of music.

The ginger felt a thing. It was like after a long journey in an underground world inhabited by monsters, she finally found her family, her friends, all those who had helped her to get to the surface. The underground was all of the the emotional turmoil the three had endured; And finally, they found themselves forever united forever, like a family. Alice started to play a little melody that was a tad different from the other one, always accompanied by Kinuyo. Miho was still singing, and putting her finger on a key or two from time to time. Everything sounded like a true liberation, a happiness rediscovered, a hear that was warm and full of hope. Such a good moment...

When, later, they had their dinner, the sensation of warm food filled them with lots of pleasure. They hadn't known that for a long time. Either it was overcooked, either it wasn't enough, or it was just cold or dry. There, tonight, their cans of curry and the little bit of rice they could find warmed their hearts. Miho felt this warmth as a sign that everything was happening as expected.  
She looked at Kinuyo, then Alice who said nothing. Her lover gave her a deeply relieved and loving look; the look she loved so much to see. These woody, dark brown eyes, sweet and ready for anything to please her, ready to give her body and soul for her. The eyes of the person she wanted to spend her life with. The eyes of a heart starting to heal, traumatized by its past and the losses that had destroyed it. The eyes of the one who shared her most intimate moments. The eyes of her future wife the day they'd be able to marry, regardless of it was official or not.  
The blonde was relaxed. Her gaze hadn't changed; her gold-ish irises reflected an almost total indifference, but she seemed very calm, peaceful, as if nothing could create nervousness. Dogmeat let them eat quietly, sitting farther, and stared at them as usual. His black eyes seemed to sweep across the room. Perhaps he was looking for something...?

Everything felt much more comfortable now that the electricity had returned. They hoped to find another house like this one in the next they'd go, because it was really very good! No plant was needed for power. Only sunlight was enough, and in the middle of summer it was the first thing that could be found! The water seemed to be still drinkable: after all, the pipes were likely not as contaminated by radioactivity, and it was much less risky than the water in Chiba or Oarai, which were very close to Tokyo. More than two hundred kilometers from Kitakyushu, it was safer. Many times they had drunk tap water and had not experienced any discomfort, except maybe a slight metallic taste from time to time, but it was fairly unnoticeable or ended up simply disappearing. Perhaps their bodies started to get used to small doses of radiation. It was quite possible ; after that, they were walking in a radioactive world. Many humans would be in the same situation, and the animal population, as well as some people had returned to the Chernobyl area, although it was still very contaminated. This was evidence that organic bodies could adapt without dying. There was probably not much to fear, quite the contrary.

Miho dipped her fingertips into the bath water to check the temperature; She had emptied the tub and filled it again ; water that had stagnated for four months could have been a perfect home for little microscopic creatures that might not be very friendly. The smell wasn't too nice either ; not as bad as very stale water, but it could have been worse if they had came later. As a precaution, Miho had drained the water and then let Kinuyo shower as she filled the tub again. When the brunette had finished and entered first, the redhead took her place and started washing her body. Alice would certainly join them; she was still downstairs with the dog, but would come soon. Feeling a warm shower and not a cold one on her body was so good...

But when she turned her head, her lover had disappeared. It was as if she had suddenly vanished from the room. Was that the case? Or... maybe...?

Anxious, Miho called Kinuyo. Before she had the time to finish pronouncing her name, she saw her lover suddenly raising her head and upper body from the bath, throwing water everywhere around her in the movement, and gazing at her in a kind of embarrassed expression, as if she had been drawn from her thoughts abruptly.

"Thanks God you're still there, I got frightened for a moment", Miho said with a smile, her heart still beating a little too quickly to be quite tranquil, though relieved.

"It's me who has to thank you, I think..." Kinuyo chuckled. "I was so comfortable that I doze off and my head was starting to go fully underwater. I would have drowned myself the silliest way, without even intending to die... what a helpless girl I am."

"Silly you", Miho laughed. "Come on, come on, make some room for me."

She went into the bath. She sat close to Kinuyo, feeling her wet hair that looked a tone darker than normal, flattened against her dripping body. With a small smile, she nudged her and glanced at her eyes.

"Don't ever do that again, okay?"

"It's okay, I'll remember this, I don't want you to worry", the brunette replied. "I'll prevent myself from feeling too comfortable in these situations."

"It's not that I don't want you to get comfy... But knowing that you could have died without I realizing anything terrified me so much..."

"I think my body would have reacted if I'd started drowning. This feeling of water getting into my nose would have awakened me by survival instinct. I know my sensory perception is pretty bad... but not to such a point... " she whispered with a laugh.

By the time Miho was about to answer, Alice entered the bathroom. She seemed tempted to smile, but kept her expression neutral and started showering. However, she turned her head towards the couple and didn't seem to be aggressive or anything.

"Is the water warm enough?" she asked.

"Yes, even a little too much," Kinuyo giggled.

"If you hear Dogmeat crying, it's normal, he doesn't like me to leave him alone," murmured the little girl.

"He's so sweet," Miho said. "Maybe he thinks you're going to drown? It is true that he has a pretty hard time with being alone. When we found him, he was the one who came to us."

"I don't know, but in any case, I will never leave him," the blonde replied, rinsing herself.

Alice stood up. Miho and Kinuyo shifted to leave room for her, then moved to her side. She sighed and closed her eyes, her small head resting against the wall.

"Hot water... Feels so good..."

"Deadly good, as Hosomi would have said... she was always ready to throw jokes around. I think she has influenced me a bit on this side... I like to do puns from time to time, but the best humorist I've known was definitely her."

"Oh?" Alice let out. "Was she that funny?"

"Very funny. If I hadn't seen her true colours, I would still praise her as much as I used to. She hated to see people sad, wanted only to cheer them up and to make them laugh and have fun. She sometimes pranked them by putting a fake eyeball in her hair, and she already pranked me with a whoopee cushion."

"The girls from University thought of me as cute," said the little girl. "They had their hobbies and their tastes were a lot different from mine, on the other hand... there was quite a large gap between us. I'm still a child... I'm six or seven years younger than them."

"It's not the age that matters, Alice," Miho murmured gently. "What counts is to accept people as they are. Look, we were born four years apart and you've become my best friend... and you start to get along with Kinuyo, who is only a month and half younger than I am."

"We have something in common," the small one replied. "We got a common love for Boko, we had a somewhat similar life on certain points... And for Kinuyo, I got to know her and I realized that I had misjudged her."

"This sentence may be a cliché, but we all make mistakes in life," Miho said. "The situation is going better, and we are too."

"Yes, of c-"

Alice was cut off by what really had to happen; a long canine lament began to sound in the house. Dogmeat began to howl painfully, as if he was mourning someone, even if nobody had died or was going to the other side. He sounded almost desperate. He was probably feeling lonely. The little girl sighed and looked down. Miho put an arm around her shoulders.

"Don't worry, he just doesn't like when you leave him alone," she whispered. "Maybe he was abandoned by his previous owner... or maybe they died..."

"I'll go and spend time with him, I don't like to hear him crying like that," Alice breathed. "He's sad..."

"Do you prefer me to go?" Kinuyo suggested, ready to get up.

"No, it's fine, I'm going," Alice replied, standing up, and then coming out of the bath.

The little girl wrapped herself in a towel and opened the door. She called the dog, then got dressed and went downstairs. He instantly stopped howling. The couple soon got out of the water too, but emptied the bathtub this time. After all, nobody knew when the inhabitants would come back, if they were still alive... it was better to avoid bacteria and nasty little things moving there. Miho remembered the night when the radroaches had awakened them and forced them to leave. Mutating cockroaches, as big as her own leg, sometimes even bigger. That was disgusting. She shuddered as she remembered the thing. Never again! Still, about all the insects could end up like that... she hoped never to cross radscorpions or mutant mosquitoes!

Miho went upstairs to the room and opened the window, feeling the evening's fresh air. She had a view of the roof of the house next door, but could still see the sky. In addition, public lighting was no longer working: there was no light pollution, it allowed her eyes to see the stars. Maybe not as well as during her first evenings in the countryside with Kinuyo, but she still saw them. She had let her arms rest on the guardrail and felt completely relaxed. To her surprise, when her girlfriend joined her, Alice was there too. The dog remained at the back of their group, patient and relieved by the presence of his little owner.

Miho wanted this harmony to last forever. None of them had spoke yet, but words weren't necessary when they were watching the beauty of heaven. Although she had lost herself in these skies so many times, she was still amazed at the cosmos that was right before her eyes. She felt so small compared to this immensity. Alice seemed tempted to sit down, but the guardrail would prevent her from seeing the sky well. Kinuyo stayed behind, preferring to rest lightly on Miho's back, as if to hide behind her, although she didn't seem to be afraid of anything.

Something immediately caught the ginger's eyes. Staring at the sky, she exclaimed:

"Oh, look! We don't see this every day!"

A long white trail was starting to appear on the black starry veil. It looked very small from here, but there was no doubt that it was gigantic. It was a real contrast with the dark nocturnal shades. Something was running in the atmosphere at high speed, but it wasn't a shooting star. It looked like a brilliant particle which, as it advanced, seemed to fracture, dissolve, and disintegrate. Its race lasted only a few tens of seconds in reality, but for Miho, it seemed like several minutes. Space debris, probably. It had ended its life in the Earth's atmosphere, just as four months before, three orange-coloured mushrooms had risen to space to die as well. They could have met...

"Such beautiful", Alice whispered. "It makes me think of something... someone who, along the way, breaks apart little by little, to finally die in total indifference... because space is so wide that no one sees nor hear you."

"I would have thought of life in general," Kinuyo contradicted, almost defensively. "Paths that separate, or parts of us that leave..."

"And yet it's only some space thing fragment that just burnt up in the atmosphere," Miho chuckled. "And now we're discussing its symbolism..."

"It's a hobby like any other," the brunette replied with a little laugh. "We had so little opportunity to do so before the war..."

Dogmeat began to bark. It was a shame he couldn't speak, he probably would have had something to say for himself. Alice crouched.

"Come on, come on, boy! Come to me!"

The dog, without a second thought, threw himself on her and began to lick her face passionately as he liked to do so. Miho couldn't help but start grinning. He was really cute. Kinuyo glanced at them, looking pensive, even thinking. The redhead pulled her out of her thoughts by a gentle tap on the collarbone. Her lover turned around and seemed to be wondering about something.

"You look like you've seen a ghost", Miho said. "Have Tamada and the others reappeared? Or is it something else?"

"No, don't worry, I was just thinking about tomorrow... I was just wondering how things would happen", replied the brunette. "And I'm tired..."

"I hope we can find another house like that," Miho joyfully said. "Come on, we still have a way to go, and you are with me!"

"It's true," Kinuyo ended, her eyes regaining their usual brightness. "You're here..."

They were all serene when they went to bed this evening after this magnificent day, thinking only of starting the next day. A new dawn of a day that would bring them closer to Kumamoto, and Maho at the same time! Miho hoped heartily to see the sun rise with brightness and hope for tomorrow.


	38. Chapter 37

**Author's note : Hello there! I'm so sorry this took so long... I have a lot of homework these times, and I'm pretty tired. I'm also going through rough times. Expect the next chapter to come next week, as usual. This one was also longer... I hope you're all going well and having a lot of fun.**

 **Enjoy this chapter!**

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 **WARNING : Contains graphic depiction. I don't think it's to a major point, but better safe than sorry.**

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 _"Southern trees bear a strange fruit,_  
 _Blood on the leaves and blood at the root..."_

 _\- Billie Holiday_

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When the crack of dawn illuminated the room, Miho found it hard to get up. She wanted to stay in this bed with Kinuyo, quietly comfortable, making this house theirs... she wanted to live forever in a comfort that they may never find again, unless they had a stroke of luck... but wasn't possible. Maho prevented them to do so, and it was for a good reason. Family was much more than just a house, despite all the peace they felt... And it wasn't time to give up on their dream!

The brunette was already awake, but was dazing in the bed. Miho took her hand and hugged her. There were clouds, again, in the sky. They were visible from the window. Maybe it was because of this weather that they didn't want to get up. They wanted to stay under the duvet, even if it was hot outside. Yet, after a while, they'd better get out of there...

After an hour, they went downstairs. It was already almost noon. They had to depart. Only Alice had had breakfast; after having got up at ten o'clock, she had spent time playing and cuddling her dog, had taken him on a walk, and had even cleaned up the house. She was such mature for her age. Miho wondered how it felt like to be in university at only twelve years old. It was not, however, a good place for a little girl. She wasn't surprised that the blonde was so lonely, having that childish interest for Boko that the older ones had probably dropped since a while. Yet Miho didn't feel immature at all for loving this adorable teddy. Even if her friends - well, those who were her friends - hadn't understood her passion fully, she had never felt ashamed from appreciating it. She was so happy to have found someone who shared her tastes...

Just as they started to pack their bags, Kinuyo came, the Polaroid in hand.

"Definitely, Teramoto must have had some influence on me... now that I have that thing, I can't stop enjoying myself with it," she laughed. "Do you want a group picture?"

"Of course yes!" Miho agreed, excited.

"Why not," replied Alice. "C'mere, Dogmeat!"

The dog barked. His tail wagging joyfully, he trotted to the little girl who sat on the sofa. Kinuyo sat by her side, and Miho on the other one. The brunette held the instant camera and tried to point it in a way to have everyone in the lens. Uncertain of her ability to frame it well, she turned her head towards the little one.

"Could you check if we're all on the picture?" she asked.

"Alright," Alice agreed, getting up.

The blonde checked if everything was fine. She moved Kinuyo's hand a little bit more to the side with her finger, then went back to sit.

"Now it should be fine", she said.

Kinuyo pressed the button: the clicking sound told them that this moment would exist forever from now. The picture started to come out. Miho refrained herself from pulling the paper. She wanted so much to see the result! Kinuyo stared at the picture, eager to admire this immortalized moment. Alice came behind them. A minute or two later, when the colours had fully revealed themselves, the three girls felt all filled with joy.

The trio, as well as Dogmeat, were forever alive on this picture. That image that would never die. Somebody could find it centuries later, this image which contained in itself the unity of a family and the heart of a newly-found happiness. Alice, for once, smiled. Her smile was tiny, but noticeable. Her eyes, above all, reflected what she was feeling. A kind of spark at the bottom of her pupils. Dogmeat had his tongue sticking out as always, and that eternal joyful energy that even emanated from the photo. Miho held Kinuyo's free hand and was rested on her. The ginger's brown eyes looked loving and protective. The brunette had taken the picture holding the camera in her right hand. One could see that she had tried to make sure her arm didn't spoil the picture too much, but Alice and her dog were still clearly visible. There was something that could come as a bit off in her stare, as if she forced herself to smile, like someone who tries their best to stay strong despite being exhausted, but she looked happy nonetheless.

"It's beautiful," Miho murmured. "Can I keep it? I will frame it and put it in my room... our room..."

"Of course you can, dear," Kinuyo replied, handing her the picture.

The redhead, in her happiness, felt her heart growing. A light invaded her entire being like a celestial energy. She felt so happy that she could say nothing, simply sighing and staring at what she had in her hands. She put the photograph in the suitcase and embraced her girlfriend, having only one desire : to thank her as much as she could, even if no word could qualify such a pleasure.

And shortly afterwards, it was their feet that were back on the road to Kumamoto. Still far, but closer and closer... it was so strange to think that even the insignificant steps of three little beings - four, if one counted their canine companion - could take them to such distances. They could almost do a full round around the Earth if they wanted to. But here, it was only a tiny part of the planet... Japan was ultimately a tiny island compared to the whole of the world. A tiny island bombed three times, five if one took into account the times before. And yet... a trio continued to walk on its roads, despite the radiation that would probably rise more and more as they'd approach Kitakyushu. Had these things already begun to poison their bodies, giving an opportunity to a whole string of cancers and other tumors to develop thereafter? Withing a month ? Within three months? Within three years? Thirty years? Their life expectancy already had a chance of being accidentally cut... but cancers would make them suffer until death would free them.

Despite how monotonous things were, it felt nice to walk on the roads. Dogmeat seemed a little agitated, but he continued to act as usual, although still having something nervous in his posture and the way he moved. Alice didn't seem to notice; she continued to play with him. He looked around worriedly, which wasn't at all common with him. Usually, he always had those cheerful and tender eyes, but the movements of his body seemed... somehow tense, and he seemed to force himself to look normal. Yet neither Miho nor Kinuyo seemed to notice it either. The dog looked at them. Was he just in a bad mood or did he feel a danger? He wasn't sure himself and was even more anxious. But he didn't want to worry his beloved Alice... his owner for whom he would bend over backwarss, even if he were to die defending her. His previous owners had disappeared overnight without a trace, and she had arrived. He had every reason to wish to always appear at his best.

Miho watched the surroundings. Things had changed a lot since she left the devastated Oarai. They were far from Kitakyushu, but the difficult passage was soon to come. Alice kept on having fun with Dogmeat behind. Nothing particularly unusual. What struck her was the difference between Chugoku, this region that was more abandoned than anything else, completely deserted, and Kanto, which was completely in ruins. One would have thought they were in another world. Seeing the sign that indicated the town they were coming in, Kinuyo seemed to remember something and stopped. She let go of Miho's hand and advanced towards the inscription.

"Hamada... One of my teammates' name was Hamada," she whispered. "A very nice girl... so sweet and quiet... she never looked for conflict... I wonder if she's still alive... And the most stunning thing is that her name is written with the exact same kanji."

"What a funny sensation to fall into a city bearing the same name as someone you know," said Alice. "I'll take note of it if I ever come to Shimada town..."

"It's a weird coincidence," Miho replied. "It's even rather amusing, to tell the truth."

"Oh, I'm not saying the contrary," the little girl whispered. "I was just saying it was a funny feeling."

"We understand you, don't worry", murmured the ginger, smiling. "We know very well that you didn't mean to say that."

They resumed walking. Kinuyo silently stepped closer to Miho and took her hand again while giving her an affectionately protective look. With her other hand, she brought Alice back to the group.

"What are you doing?" the blonde questioned, not understanding what was going on.

"Stay close", she murmured, an unusually serious tone in her voice. "Please, really, stay close to us."

Dogmeat and Kinuyo exchanged a glance. She stroked her head and looked straight ahead, which surprised Alice, who wasn't at all accustomed to such sudden hardness coming from the brunette; she was always gentle and kind, sometimes on the edge of being ridiculous. Miho, on her part, began to feel a terrible fear in her guts. Was it only stress? Did her lover have a bad feeling about something? She knew very well that Kinuyo would say nothing to avoid worrying her, but started wondering.  
Since they had entered the small town of Hamada, something had gone wrong. It was strange. Something bizarre was emanating from the surroundings. Yet there was nothing in Hamada! What would one do here in Hamada? Nothing. One would go anywhere, but not to Hamada. Absolutely nothing to do there, nor to find there, except the prefectural university that was now deserted, the ruins of a castle destroyed centuries ago, and perhaps an aquarium with a bunch of dead fish inside. Otherwise, there was nothing interesting. It was a small town they'd see and leave. Like almost every other...

They crossed by a bridge the river which bore the same name as the town. The atmosphere seemed to relax a bit as they passed close to the small port near the Haraicho district, but when they came back in a more urban area, the atmosphere became tense again. There was something very scary. The streets were deserted, or at least seemed to be. It was just as quiet as anywhere else. But as they moved into the city and got deeper and deeper into it, Miho felt that something was off, however. Kinuyo, at times, was shaking her hand very hard, almost to the point of pain, and her eyes seemed to look everywhere, as if a threat was watching them. Yet she said nothing about her fears.  
Alice looked up to Miho and they locked eyes. They said nothing, but communicated by their expression. The little girl didn't quite understand what was going on. She seemed to be afraid, too, but it was certainly the brunette who conveyed this fear. Miho trembled almost as much as when she was remembering her school trauma. Something was not right, and the bad feeling was only getting stronger. Dogmeat, unlike usual, remained in Alice's legs and his ears were turning nervously in all directions, as if trying to perceive something his human owners couldn't detect.

Turning her head, Miho saw a strange graffiti on the door of a watchmaker's shop. A white human head, resembling some kind of skull with a sewn mouth and a cross on the forehead, was painted. It covered old tags that were done with fluorescent orange paint. This vision gave her a terrible shudder. What was it? Who could have drawn that? This told her nothing good; neither the tension that came from Kinuyo, nor the incomprehension of Alice, nor the nervousness of Dogmeat foreshadowed her something good. However, it was no longer possible to turn back: they had taken the risk of passing through Hamada, they'd have to get out of here by themselves. About two hundred meters away, there was a crossroad. They were going to go straight and not turn, it would be better.

The dog started whimpering. Alice petted him to comfort him, although not feeling calm either. Miho sensed Kinuyo shaking her hand again. They looked at each other; what shocked the redhead was the expression in her lover's gaze.  
She was _dead_ terrified. As if someone had just violently and suddenly died before her very eyes.

"Tell me what's going on," Miho breathed, worried.

The brunette was about to answer when loud, terrible and murderous sounds came across the street.  
The fierce slamming of someone shooting. Several male voices screaming in the background; orders ? The sound of the cartridge cases that struck the concrete of the small building.  
They wanted their death. They were trying to kill them.  
Dogmeat loudly barked and fled towards the direction of the noise.  
Everything happened very quickly.  
Miho, in a split second, felt her legs spinning in the direction from which she came. She thought only of one thing; her life.  
Her life. Running for her life! Running away, no matter where it was, as long as she survived! Her heart pounded wildly in her chest. She had never run so fast.  
Blinded by her instinct, she hid herself just after a blue house, in a dark and dusty entrance that resembled a cellar. Unable to calm down, she was relieved to see Kinuyo arriving seconds later. She had never felt so threatened. Never.

"Madmen," Miho gasped. "Why do they want our lives? And do you know where Alice is?"

Her lover didn't reply, too busy trying to catch her breath after being so panicked.

"I knew it'd happen..." she whispered. "I had a feeling..."

"Was that why you were so distressed?" the ginger said, astonished.

"Yes... I don't get very well what is happening... but this is bad... and I wonder where they were able to find these weapons... gun laws are so tight in Japan..."

Steps were approaching. They were looking for them now. Without thinking twice, Miho closed the door and moved in the shadow while dragging Kinuyo behind her. The two girls hid between two pieces of furniture. They were so afraid of being found that they held their breath whenever possible. The sound of the sliding door paralyzed them. They were there. They would find them, take them away, rape them, torture them, kill them, make them undergo unbearable things and... the door closed a few seconds later. They didn't dare move until the noise had completely stopped.

"I was afraid," Miho murmured in a shaky voice. "I... I never want to live this again... and Alice doesn't come back..."

There was a silence for some minutes. After this long hesitation, Kinuyo stood up.

"I'll go and search for Alice," she murmured. "Stay here, my love..."

"Are you crazy? You could get killed! What would I do without you?" Miho cried, her voice broken by the emotions.

"You have a family... Besides you, I have no one left... I have no one who will play shamisen on my grave at sunset, eat some sakuramochi in front of my picture, burn incense, lay some flowers on that stone, or even mourn me", the brunette muttered.

She was trying desperately to smile, but she sounded like she was holding back her tears.

"My body will rot away, there will be no one to take care of it... you have Maho, you have your mother... maybe your father... I have only you, Miho, you know... I'd better go outside and take the risk of being slaughtered."

Unable to contain her anxiety any longer, the ginger threw herself into Kinuyo's arms and tried hard not to burst into tears. What if she got killed when she wanted to do well? What if not one body was found, but two bodies? Miho couldn't bear the idea of losing Kinuyo and Alice at the same time. She refused to let go. The brunette kissed her gently, once, twice in a row, then walked away to the door.

"Be careful, my love," Miho said, still restraining herself from crying.

"I'll be okay... if I don't come back in twenty minutes, go out and look for me..."

Kinuyo stared deeply into her eyes. She then turned back and just before going out, saluted her the way she had done during this friendly match in which their schools were allied, that salute she loved to perform so much, smiling despite the pain that tarnished her expression. She was so brave... brave enough to protect those she loved. Miho felt weak and heartless. She had thought about her own life instead of paying attention to Alice.  
When her girlfriend closed the door, Miho dropped to the ground and tried to calm down. She had to stay positive... even after such a fright, everything couldn't be lost... And what about Dogmeat? What had become of him? Had he fled with these raiders... these gunners? Was he still alive? In the dark, she tried to avoid the thoughts that would terrify her and tried to relax. Her throat felt strangled and she was in cold sweats, but she was safe. No one had spotted her.  
Miho sat down, but couldn't relax; she remained curled up, leaning against the wall, unable to completely calm herself. Her life had just failed to be brutally stopped. She thought of her friends. She was sure that the last survivor among them would have died in this shooting. It was certain. She would have been alone, but maybe Alice would have survived, at least... even if it was unlikely...

Ten minutes. Ten minutes since Kinuyo had left, and ten minutes since Miho was waiting anxiously, all nervous and agitated, in this dark house. There was no noise, except perhaps a few rats or other post-apocalyptic critters that had probably mutated. The time seemed terribly long. Would her beloved come back safe and sound? Wounded? Hardly alive enough to say goodbye? All the possible scenarios were constantly repeating in her head.

Just as she was beginning to tell herself that there would soon be no more hope, the door opened. Kinuyo was there. Miho stood up, teary-eyed, and hugged her tightly.

"I thought you'd meet your end outside," she said. "I was so scared for you..."

"I didn't find her... I looked everywhere... tried to call her name... nothing... and there was a place where I couldn't go..."

"You mean, were there still people?"

"No," the brunette whispered. "No one was here. I just have a horrible feeling about this place and I don't want to go there alone... I just can't. My legs won't move forward when I get closer to it... you have to come with me."

Miho noticed something on her lover's right arm, a little below her shoulder. A sharp mark darkened by the dim light, but which looked like a cut...

"What happened?.. You're bleeding..."

Kinuyo glanced at her arm.

"It's nothing, I hid a little too quickly behind a wall, and something sharp wounded my arm... It's not that deep, don't worry."

"We must find her," Miho gasped, getting up. "We have to go..."

She repeated these words as she pushed the door open, guided by the brunette who remained as silent as the grave. Everything was calm since the shooting... no more presence was noticeable. When they reached the fatal crossroad, there were still some cartridge cases on the ground; Miho didn't dare count them. They went ahead. The street was silent. Continuing, the road led them to a turn that led to a train station. A small station, the kind that was on Shinkansen lines. On a wide sign above the door, four kanjis drew the words: _"Nishi-Hamada Station"_. Miho was on tenterhooks. She hoped so badly to find Alice safe... just hidden there... with Dogmeat...

They stopped before the half-open doors of the small building. Kinuyo, shaking like a leaf, looked at Miho, then looked back at the door handles. The redhead hesitated for a few seconds, then reluctantly opened.

A iron-like, sweet, sickening odor blew in their faces like a gust of wind. A repugnant wall pushed them back. Kinuyo couldn't go any farther ; the smell was so strong that she dropped to her knees, breathless, and retched. Miho impulsively stepped inside. Her foot walked on something slippery. A bright red liquid stained the ground. There was a massive quantity of it. And a little farther, just under the first row of seats... there was the small body of a little girl with blonde hair, turned towards the wall in front of her, inert. No... It couldn't be her... It wasn't possible... it was necessarily another child...

"Alice...?" Miho gently called. "Alice, is that you?"

No answer. She approached and placed a hand on the girl's shoulder.

"Alice, we have to get out of here... they're gone now, we have to run away before they come back..."

Still no answer. Miho, trembling, turned the body on her back... and uttered such a devastating cry that she thought she was tearing off her own vocal cords.  
It was her. She was still warm.  
Her face had a bruise on the top of the forehead, just under a strand of hair. Her throat had been deeply gashed, probably by a knife or other blunt object. A stream of blood flowed from her pale mouth that had remained wide open, and her half-closed eyes stared at emptiness. Her dress was stained with this red ink. The smell which emanated from it almost made her sick too. Her complexion, already very white, recalled that of Tamada just before she died; grayish, having something waxy. And worse : her underwear had been pulled and torn off. Alice had seen death coming. She had struggled and panicked, perhaps cried for help, and had been slaughtered so she would shut her mouth forever about what she had undergone in her last moments.  
Miho couldn't bear it and broke down in tears, hysterical, uncontrollable, seized with such despair that she couldn't express it otherwise. Her tears started falling like a waterfall, her body being convulsively agitated by spasms of sorrow and pain.

At the same time, a bark sounded. The couple turned around. Dogmeat had come back. His left hind leg was wounded, but he was there and alive. Without Kinuyo being able to hold him back, he went directly to Alice. He sniffed her body, then raised his head, his eyes seeming to worry stiff. Miho, sobbing like never before, put a hand on his head and caressed him. He started uttering desperate barks.

"Dogmeat..." she sobbed, heartbroken. "It's over... it's over, she won't come back..."

He continued to bark at his little owner's lifeless body, as if to wake her, to tell her to get up, nuzzling her cheeks and hair, licking the blood her cheeks as if to comfort her and clean her, hoping to make her move, even if only for a breath, a wink, or a caress. She'd wake up at any moment. He'd hear her saying _"My good boy, don't worry, I'm fine!"_ , she'd get up and hug him tightly. He didn't want to let go. He didn't want to see such a thing, either. He didn't want to see how useless it was... he would never, never again, hear her sweet voice, see her lovely face or feel her body next to his.

Kinuyo, despite the smell that made her feel sicker and sicker, slowly approached Miho and Dogmeat. The red ink was here. It had flown to the point of death. Blood became brownish when it dried, just like she mistook the red ink for brown ink. Her small bits of poetry became reality. At the same time the name of Alice written in red, and at the same time this verse about a sea of crimson flowers blooming from a child's neck. Who would have known that one day her own words would be true?... What a horrible coincidence... Silent, in spite of her troubled vision, she put an arm around her beloved and hugged her, only wanting to comfort her.

A light illuminated the corner of the room. It was Alice's spirit, glowing, free from every wound, that joined her mother's. The Shimada family was united again. Immediately after taking Chiyo's hand, Alice seemed to turn around and glance at the couple, looking sadly calm, then they both disappeared in a split second.

Kinuyo, unable to speak, kept gently stroking Miho's back, trying desperately to calm her down. But it was impossible... they were only two again... two in such a cruel world.

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 **Author's note bis : Oh, shit, I'm crying now.**


	39. Chapter 38

**Author's note : I hope you're all going well, lads. Due to too much stress and pressure from school, next chapter might take a few days longer than the others to come. I need to rest... Things have been rough lately and I sleep terribly. My holidays are on February 3rd, so expect the chapter to come between February 3 and 6. I don't want the quality to suffer.**

 **I'm never dropping it... I'm almost to Chapter 40, damn it, 40 chapters already, and there are 56 expected, it's not time to drop it!**

 **Enjoy this chapter!**

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 _"You might have been a headache, but you never were a bore_  
 _I thank you so much_  
 _Thanks for the memory"_

 _\- Bob Hope and Shirley Ross_

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Dogmeat couldn't stop looking for Alice. She had been gone for only some hours, and he was already terribly lost. Miho, too deeply pained, couldn't do anything; even Kinuyo, who had tried to calm her down, had failed at that. He was continually smelling the floor, the walls of the station, the blood that had dried, the backpack that had been tossed on the seats, he couldn't tell himself he had lost his owner. His back leg was now covered with a bandage. He was probably stabbed in his lower thigh or encountered a pointy object. The cut would probably take a while to heal and a scar would remain.

Alice was wrapped in a blanket. Miho hadn't been able to do it; Kinuyo had taken care of her fragile, small, white body as much as she could. She had spent a long time cleaning her. She had removed all that blood using water and some fabric that served as a duster. She had tried to make her body more presentable. She had covered this horrible wound on her throat with a bandage around her neck as she had bandaged her own wounded arm. She had removed the long black ribbon that held the little girl's ponytails and kept it. She had undone her hair, as she had done with Tamada, and let her platinum blonde locks go loose. She had also removed her dogtag and kept it nearby.  
But despite all the care she had taken to do things right and make sure everything was alright, she had blood on her hands. Even when trying to wash it away with water, the smell seemed to linger on her long and thin fingers, on her palm's lines, even though no red was to be seen anymore. Miho, behind, couldn't look at that. It was too hard. Seeing the corpse of her closest friend felt like a disaster.

The ginger looked at the train tracks just down the platform. If trains were still running, she wouldn't hesitate at all to throw herself under one and taking her loved one in death, even if it would mean committing an atrocious murder. Pulling her by the arm and prevent her from suffering. Making her fall first so they'd die together and no one would be left alone. But what would Maho do if she spent years, even decades, waiting for them to come without ever being able to see them again? One thing was certain, Alice would come feet first... like her mother, who had probably died a long time before her. Miho wondered what had killed Chiyo Shimada. Illness? Radiation? Wounds? An accident? A vault experiment that had gone south? Famine, or even worse? She would probably know when she'd get to Kumamoto... maybe Maho would know something about that.

She felt Kinuyo's hand stroking her lower back and turned her head. The brunette had Alice's ribbon between her fingers and was putting it around her neck. Miho was suddenly afraid, but had to be brought back to reality; her lover wasn't trying to strangle her... she was just tying it like a long necklace, just as the ribbon of Tamada was tied to her left wrist. Kinuyo tightened the knot very hard, as if she feared that the redhead would loosen it and try the irreparable with it, and ran a hand through her copper hair.

"Miho... my poor Miho..." she murmured, her deep brown stare seeming desperately looking for a gleam of hope.

"You don't have to say anything," the ginger whispered. "You knew it would happen... didn't you?"

"I don't quite understand what's wrong with me... I would have liked to prevent it... if there's someone to blame... it's me. I wrote her name in red the other night... I don't think it's a coincidence, finally... and we'll both be taken too..."

"Stop with these legends, Kinuyo..." Miho breathed, her eyes reddened by the tears that had not even dried on his face. "It won't bring her back... it won't..."

The moment she uttered these words and realized once more that it was a truth, she couldn't help but break down in tears again. Kinuyo kissed her hair, helpless, and tried as best she could not to cry in front of her, despite her throat that felt... deeply gashed by the blow of a knife, just like Alice's.

"We have to cremate her," she muttered in a broken voice. "She can't stay like this..."

"I'm not gonna stand that..." the redhead sobbed. "I'm so sorry to have to ask you for such awful things... but I want you to take care of it... I can't, Kinuyo, you have to do it yourself..."

"Alright... take your time to say goodbye while I go looking for something to make the fire..."

Her girlfriend got up. Miho watched the form wrapped in the blanket a few feet away from her. Dogmeat was right next to it. He raised his head and glanced at her. She stepped forward and knelt in front of Alice's body. The grieving dog couldn't stop whimpering...

Hesitant, she grabbed the blanket and slowly pulled it away.  
Alice looked much calmer and quieter than when they had discovered her body. Kinuyo had been able to close her eyes, her mouth that was wide-open, she had neatly worked on it, one could feel that she had put all the care she could into preparing her for her last travel. She looked simply asleep... in an eternal sleep, frozen forever in her youth. She would be twelve forever and would never grow old, would know neither wrinkles nor health problems or grey hair. She would always remain an innocent little girl, still pure compared to most people.  
And her tears came back. Miho laid on her friend's body and hugged her, despite her being cold and starting to get stiff. She whispered in her ear how much she loved her, how sorry she was to have fled without paying attention to her, how much she had regretted having spent so much time with her lover, leaving her alone sometimes, how much she was already missing her. Miho felt a presence by her side. A stream of cold air passed through her entire body. She felt a ghostly hand on her back, but she didn't dare turn round. She didn't want to hope that it was Alice when it could be in fact Hosomi or Tamada. Yet, somehow, she knew it was her friend's spirit, but didn't want to tell herself, feared of being disappointed.

Dogmeat nuzzled in Miho's hair. She turned her head. The dog was miserably staring at her, his ears lowered. He licked her face that was wet with tears. She petted him gently and put an arm around his neck.

"My poor boy... I know it hurts you too... hurts so badly..." she whispered, having no strength in her voice.

He replied with a little whine and laid down beside his late owner, his posture giving the impression that he was taking her between his paws, as if to cuddle her. Unfortunately, he would never feel her warmth again... it was gone forever, soon reduced to a few ashes and a dogtag, like Tamada and Hosomi.

Kinuyo came back with flammable materials. The ritual itself wouldn't be as traditional as the brunette would probably have wanted, but their friend's body wouldn't rot like some roadkill. She would have a funeral, at least. Miho pulled away. Her lover gently caressed Alice's head, lowered it and kissed her forehead, as if to protect her once more, as if to give her the safety she was never able to offer. The ginger, unable to speak, gazed at her for a long time. Kinuyo finally raised her head, her dark eyes looking horribly disturbed, and turned to Miho.

The sun was setting. The brunette had brought back a large wicker basket as well as a square, varnished wooden box, about the size of Tamada's urn, with a beautiful cherry tree branch painted on it. She placed on the railway track what she had been able to find: paper, dry wood, dried grass, twigs, everything that was flammable and wouldn't release anything toxic, at least to her knowledge. The ginger watched her doing it, not even weeping, exhausted by shedding so many tears. She just stood there, her eyes reddened, puffy, holding the poor Dogmeat, who was also terribly bereaved, in her arms. Kinuyo lifted the small body and put it into the basket She opened the blanket lightly, revealing her head. She put the precious Boko plush by the little girl's side, as well as something else... it seemed like a piece of paper with something written on it; yet it wasn't the sheet on which she had written that verse... what could be written?

Miho stepped forward to stroke Alice's hair one last time and whisper in her ear, then took a step back. Kinuyo looked miserable. It was easy to see that she was holding back her tears as much as she could, although her eyes were already sparkling and she had that light smile, not that sweet one she had when she was feeling happy, but that one... that painful one. Dogmeat licked Alice's forehead one last time too, then Kinuyo closed this wicker coffin and put it on the train tracks, covering it with flammable materials again.  
She took out of her pocket that magnificent lighter and read the inscription she knew by heart now.  
 _"It was a pleasure to burn"_ , this sentence... this such strange quote in such a context. One finger movement and a flame appeared. She ignited the basket and directed the flame under it too, just to make sure it was going to burn correctly.

Kinuyo sat down next to Miho and kissed her on the cheek, hoping to bring her some comfort... only to start crying, having bottled up her horrible grief and guilt to avoid shedding tears in front of her beloved... Cremating Alice reminded her of Tamada's death. She had such a hard time getting over it. Although she had seen her late friend several times as a ghost, she had never replaced her living presence, her warmth, her impetuous and uncontrollable character, what they had lived together, everything had almost disappeared. A smell of roasting meat was starting to be felt. The body was burning. Hosomi would probably laugh at this by singing an improvised song involving a barbecue and a fried child. She wouldn't mean to displease people or to mock her... she would have just wanted to relax the atmosphere, to clear away this sadness, even if it meant appearing obnoxious.

The only light was from the flames which started engulfing the little coffin. These endlessly hungry creatres resembled bright swirls in the black night, and the little embers were a multitude of fireflies fluttering beside Alice's lost body to finally die a few seconds later in total indifference, extinguishing forever in the darkness to never see again the light they emitted only a few moments earlier. The fiery blanket spread over the whole basket. The smell was getting stronger. The smoke which emanated from it got a more greyish tint. There were already blackened debris all around. Miho didn't even want to imagine Alice's state at the moment. She continued to gaze at the flashing light of the fire which gradually consumed what would remain of her friend. Her closest friend, the one she failed despite wanting her good.

The couple had no dinner tonight. Even Dogmeat didn't seem to be hungry, overwhelmed by the death of his beloved owner, and they stayed up for a good part of the night, unable to sleep, even after the fire had finished gutting their friend. The small wooden box would be Alice's final resting place. After putting the ashes and the remaining small bones in it, Miho closed it and tied the dogtag to its side. Leaving tomorrow morning would be far too much. They would spend an extra day here after finding a safe place to hide and rest, hoping not to cross these filthy gunners' path.

It was about noon when Miho opened her eyes in the bedroom of a big white house located higher. It had been their refuge for the night, far from the station. Her sleep had been dreamless. For the first time in a very long time, she had awakened with a deep feeling of despair instead of being almost neutral, joyful, or simply madly in love. Kinuyo was sitting next to her, with terrible circles under her eyes, and had certainly spent a long time staring at her, waiting for her, watching over her while she was still asleep. Dogmeat was lying at her feet. Miho guessed that the night had been difficult, or that her loved couldn't sleep properly, even if she was completely exhausted.

"Do you... feel a little better?" the brunette sadly asked.

"No... just knowing she won't ever come back... it makes me want to join her."

"Don't forget about your sister," Kinuyo whispered. "How will I be able to tell her about your death?... She'll think I killed you and I'm playing the victim..."

"Alice was one of my best friends, and her loss makes me feel worse than if I had lost my five friends at once," muttered Miho. "It's almost as if you died instead of her..."

"We end up in the same boat, finally... your friends are away, maybe they're not alive anymore, and your best friend died too."

The ginger sighed, feeling the tears invading her eyes again.

"Kinuyo, my dearest love... I don't know anymore... I'm not even sure if I want to continue. If Maho's gone and my friends too, I don't have anything left, and I'm probably deluding myself as usual, Alice will never come back again, and what breaks me even more is knowing she was so young..."

"Do it for Maho," Kinuyo whispered, her voice torn by pain. "And do it for me... if you give up, it's over, I have nowhere to go, I don't know how many times I told you this... and I don't think I ever told you that my family was almost directly under the third."

Miho shivered with horror. So... Kinuyo wasn't from Chiba, as she thought? Her family... oh, it was terrible... the redhead glanced at her lover, wide-eyed.

"You mean... you're actually from Tokyo? You never told me..."

"Yes, from Minato-ku, you know, where you could see the Tokyo Tower, the one that looks like the one you see in France. Very close to ground zero. All my family. My memories. My history. Everything was blown up, Miho."

She said this in a frightening calm tone, although her eyes became very dull, losing their vivacity, as if the memories that came to her mind tore her heart a bit more instead of bringing back something good as it should have.

"I didn't know that... I knew your family had been killed... but I didn't know they were here... I-I'm so sorry..."

"You don't have to be sorry... it's the ones who bombed us who shall die... you didn't kill my whole family, nor all the millions of others who lived there..."

"I am sorry to have reminded you of this. Forgive me, I don't know anymore. I have lost one of my last landmarks in this world."

"The harm has been done... as you said, it won't bring all these people back..." Kinuyo sighed, looking down. "We have to move on... you helped me, I will help you as best I can... because I care so much about you, my Miho..."

Miho dropped into Kinuyo's arms, seeking her warmth. Alice's presence was still perceptible... but was it all in her head? No cold in the room this time... It was perhaps just an illusion coming from her afflicted brain... afflicted by the pain of her loss... still so present... still so horrible. Dogmeat came to their side and looked at them, as if asking them "What now?". Miho stroked his little red and white ears and invited him to come closer. It was difficult... so difficult...

In spite of their mourning, they had breakfast, remained a little longer in the house, and then departed, desiring at all costs to leave that damned city. Miho noticed a terrible coincidence. Not only Alice had died in Hamada, but the station where she had been killed was called Nishihamada... Miho Nishizumi and Kinuyo Nishi... in the town that bore the name of the latter's possibly late teammate. One couldn't make worse in terms of synchronicities that weren't only morbid, but also terrifyingly mysterious. Who or what pulled the strings of their fate behind the scenes? Did they have a destiny? Or was it total coincidence? By dint of asking themselves such questions, their brains would end up having a short-circuit. They had to stay determined. Their suffering would be horribly difficult to get over, but they still had to make it to the end of this journey.


	40. Chapter 39

**Author's note : Hello there! I hope you're all feeling good and you're ready for this chapter. I'm so sorry about taking so long. This pace feels better, but since I'm on holidays, I might publish the 40th chapter earlier. I promise nothing, though. I don't want to put too much pressure on myself... but I feel guilty for making you wait. I don't want to bore you or anything, lads. I just hope you're not feeling annoyed by the fact I take longer and longer to publish. I'm so quickly exhausted and feeling down these times. I hope you understand this...**

 **But in all, enjoy this chapter !**

* * *

 _"Why does my heart go on beating_  
 _Why do these eyes of mine cry_  
 _Don't they know it's the end of the world_  
 _It ended when you said goodbye"_

 _\- Skeeter Davis_

* * *

Going back to the mountain roads felt strange after spending so much time on the coast, whether it was on the beach or just a close to the sea. Miho kept on remembering the beginning of her journey. That moment when she had emerged from Vault 49 in a dead Oarai. The houses that for some had burned down, some had collapsed, and others remained simply abandoned. Her first steps towards Mito. Tochigi Prefecture. Hosomi's remains. Luckily finding Kinuyo. Getting to know Tamada a little bit, then her dying a few hours later, her frail and thin body destroyed by radiation and toxins. Going away to avoid seeing or hearing her die. Comforting a heartbroken Kinuyo. Finding Dogmeat. Becoming a couple. And in Toyama Prefecture, the one that meant a turning point and that meant going away from Niigata, Alice. The first time she had seen her since the three's fall. How long has passed between the moment when they found her and the moment of her death? Three weeks, a month? It was so little... so short... it was a tiny part of her already short life, and yet it was an important one...

Except the sound of her footsteps, there was dead silence. The sky was covered and the air wasn't too hot. Sometimes, Miho slipped a word to Kinuyo and she did the same, but most of the time they were still silent without being distant, walking hand in hand, one close to another, seeking proximity without the need of speaking. Since Alice was no longer there, something was missing here. Dogmeat followed them more closely than before, but he no longer played. He sniffed around, but spent most of his time watching them, sometimes whimpering. Miho pulled out the wooden box from time to time and showed it to him; he couldn't stop licking it and wouldn't remove his truffle from it. Alice's scent was still present... despite her absence.

They wondered, each on their own side, where this damned prefecture would end. They wanted to see a sign, or any small thing that would indicate their passage from Shimane to Hiroshima or Yamaguchi... in order to finally be able to start moving on with their life. It would take them a long time to totally get over her death, but getting away from that place was already going to feel good. They had to keep on walking and covering distance. Explain everything to Maho when they'd finally arrive. Tell her why Kinuyo was here instead of Alice... introduce her to Dogmeat. Miho hoped her sister wouldn't feel bad because of Alice's loss and the fact that Kinuyo was where she initially wasn't intended to be. In any case, talking about it would be difficult. Tears would continue to flow. Losing one's life at such a young age... it was even worse than if she herself died. Alice had lived for only twelve years and it was as ephemeral as a blink of an eye.  
One day, Miho would be an adult. Kinuyo would be too. Maho was almost there. Alice would never be. She would never be the beautiful blonde woman she should have become. She would never grieve her mother. She would never get to Kumamoto. And now that it had happened to her, Miho was afraid it would do the same to both of them. Losing Kinuyo, or dying and having to put all the responsabilities on her lover who wouldn't be able to bear it. And leaving Dogmeat alone. They had to survive. She had to.

The mountains seemed very sad to her. Even worse than when they had just lost Tamada and Hosomi in Mooka. These roads and paths put them in a morose mood. The rice fields were dead. The plantations had mutated. Untended, the fields had lost their lives. Death was everywhere around her. All over the place. Everything seemed gray to her, as if her vision had symbolically lost its ability to perceive colours. There was only one place where she saw something else; Kumamoto. Even her senses seemed numb; the sensation of Kinuyo's hand, which however was emotionally very strong and always there for her, was almost insignificant.  
The smells of devastated nature no longer tickled her nostrils. She constantly had a bitterness in her mouth, that bitterness of guilt and pain. Sounds were less audible. She had trouble actually remembering what was said to her. Her own senses were suffering. Her low-functioning brain no longer accepted the information: it had only one desire, to live by itself and wait for time to calm its sorrows.

At the turn of a road which connected two small hamlets of the municipality of Masuda, Miho saw an abandoned house. It was in ruins. She felt the desire to stop there. After all, if it collapsed on them in their sleep, it didn't matter much any more to her. Kinuyo seemed a little wary of it, but still followed her. Domeat didn't seem to feel anything bad; he leaped towards it without a second thought.

Kinuyo, as soon as she could, put down the heavy supplies bag and sat down beside Miho, who sighed and looked at the horizon.

"We're still lost in this damned prefecture. Will it end one day?"

"Hopefully we'll get rid of it tomorrow," the brunette replied. "We should walk some more."

"I don't want to tire you too much," Miho said. "I don't want you to pass out from exhaustion and heat again, it's better that we spend one night there and that we leave again at dawn..."

"Anyway, it's going to feel weird to sleep in an abandoned place," Kinuyo whispered. "I never approached this kind of place, my parents always told me there were fools inside who would rape me and kill me, or maybe take me far away and I'd never come back alive. They never liked when I got too far from home..."

"Wouldn't say they were wrong, before the war, places like that were badly frequented" Miho said. "But if there's nobody left-"

"Yes, there's no more risk. Remember when at first we slept near the river or just in the middle of nature, we did things that were way more dangerous than that."

"True," murmured Miho, lowering her head. "In any case, we have a shelter and it will be fine for tonight. I don't feel like continuing and I don't want you to run out of strength either. You don't need to carry me in addition to the charge that has already harmed you more than once. Remember your shoulder, your blackout... what will it be next time, will your back end up damaged?"

Kinuyo remained silent, but kept on staring at her. Full of empathy, she approached and kissed her gently, slowly, wanting to be delicate. Miho was comforted, but continued to feel sad. She let Kinuyo's lips caress hers again and again, she did everything to give her even a little ounce of hope and happiness, or if she couldn't make her as happy as she'd have liked to, a little light in this obscurity. Miho enjoyed this moment, still torn by mourning, but appeased by the sensation of her partner's love, this love that had only grown and grown, but which, although she hated to say it, couldn't fill this void that the absence of Maho and Alice had drawn.

"I have a random thought" Kinuyo said. "It's funny when you think about it... I could save your life, but you couldn't save me, on the contrary..."

"What do you mean?" Miho questioned, a little surprised.

"Blood types... I know you're A, and I'm O... it means that if I were to bleed out, you couldn't do anything, your blood would kill me. You'd have to watch me die... But I could save you... I could make myself bleed out to save you... do you know why I'd do this? I care so much that I'd give my life to save yours."

"Why are you saying such things?" the redhead whispered, feeling her throat seizing up. "You worry me, Kinuyo..."

"Excuse me," she murmured. "I've seen too much of it... There was blood everywhere... and now it won't leave my mind. I can't stand so much of it..."

"Is your wound okay, at least? Does it bleed?"

"No, and I think I'm lucky for once, it doesn't seem to get infected... I just hope that the healing won't be too painful, even if it's going to be difficult. Have you checked Dogmeat's injury?"

"I think he's healing too," Miho replied. "His cut is a little deeper than yours. It almost hit the muscle."

"He's brave," Kinuyo murmured. He doesn't seem to complain about the pain, yet it hurts so much."

The redhead couldn't even say what she wanted to. Thinking about it already filled her eyes with tears. Dogmeat, with no doubt, suffered so much from Alice's loss that he no longer even thought about his own physical pain. He had lost his moon, his lighthouse, the one that guided him in the darkness of the devastated world, and was agonizing in pain. He wouldn't die physically, but he would forever lose that old cheerful side. He'd be still happy and upbeat, but not as much as before. It was difficult to recover from the death of such an important person in one's life. Miho wondered if she would regain her former joy one day, too, and if Kinuyo would do the same.  
And for Maho's part, had she lost someone already? Mother? Koume? Erika? Maybe she hadn't fled Vault 80 alone. There was probably someone who had followed her into the radioactive desert, and who was perhaps still alive. Their family would probably not be Miho, Maho, Kinuyo, Shiho. There might be Koume or Erika that would be added. Chiyo Shimada was dead and Alice had just joined her, already... at most, they would be six. And what told her that her mother was still alive? Maho was certainly still here, but what about Shiho Nishizumi?

When the sun started setting, Miho walked a little farther from the house and sat on the road. Dogmeat followed her. Kinuyo had remained in the ruins, curious, probably searching for something to distract her beloved or to satisfy her desires to ferret everywhere. Miho smelled the evening air. There was a slight scent of rain. She hoped that the roof of the abandoned house would be enough; after all, they had already slept under bridges or in places where it wasn't very watertight and everything had gone well. The rain would probably be less radioactive now. It wasn't raining at the moment, but the night could bring a few drops. Dogmeat landed his head on Miho's lap and looked at her with his little dark, melancholic eyes. His Alice was missing. The redhead stroked his fur gently. He licked her fingertips.

"I know, boy..." she whispered. "I know..."

Miho took in her hand the knot of Alice's ribbon that was hanging around her neck. She had at least that small thing, besides the wooden box which contained her ashes. At the same moment, her lover joined her and sat down against her, turning her gaze towards the colours of the sky. Maybe tonight they would see space debris disintegrating again... If there were as many survivors out there as in Japan right now, coming back from space wouldn't only be dangerous, although there was probably no one left on space stations such as the ISS, as resources were probably already depleted.  
The debris would continue to fall, drawing rains of shooting stars. It would be beautiful, but it wouldn't last very long. And above all, it would be terribly sad to know that maybe, everywhere else in the world, life had been extinguished to be reborn in shelters which might never be opened again except for deliveries. Hokkaido might have been spared from the bombardments, but it would be irradiated by the winds forever. People would perhaps mutate. A new human species would be born... perhaps it would be even more horrible than the present one.

Kinuyo came to join her a little later, at a time when the sunlight disappeared beneath the horizon. The light gave Miho's hair an even stronger orange tint. It was beautiful under these nuances. Her eyes, even filled with pain, remained of a beauty that had no equal. The brunette, despite her own hassle, told herself that in the end, they always had a bit of luck: each had the other. Her throat still hurt her because of the accumulated sadness, but she had the strength to keep herself from crying, even if it felt like being gashed just like Alice's was. She sat down next to Miho and gently pecked her cheek. The redhead looked at her and returned her the gesture, despite her tearful eyes. Kinuyo didn't dare say a word, but continued to kiss Miho, moving to her lips, stroking her back and hair to try to do something. The ginger, at the same time, wanted to push her away, to be totally alone to recover, and to take her against her and to continue until her death would follow.

"Tell me, dear... do you think Alice knows how much I miss her?" Miho murmured.

"For sure. Look, Tamada and Hosomi see us despite not being visible, and I'm more than sure that Alice joined them. Remember that Tamada herself came to talk to her, I think she's watching over us too..."

"I'd like her to show up," Miho breathed. "Whether it's now or during my sleep... I want her to let me know she is there."

"It will happen," Kinuyo softly said. "They did it for me... Alice will surely do it for you. Her mother had to do it for her, even though we only saw her when... you know..."

"YES, I know", sighed the redhead, suddenly irritated.

Kinuyo didn't have the courage to reply, afraid of starting conflict. Miho pulled herself together, trying not to take it out on her beloved, and got closer to her. Kinuyo seemed to misunderstand these sudden mood swings, but let her do it and put an arm around her body. The redhead tried as much as she could to relax. It wasn't easy; the pain was so strong that she had almost lost control.  
After all, what reason Alice had to leave her? She had betrayed her, in the end! She had betrayed them both! If she had survived, everything would have gone for the better! Miho had done everything for her, and she was dead! Kinuyo had nothing to do with that and wasn't the one to blame... if she had to blame someone, it was Alice herself! After all, if she had defended herself, she wouldn't have been caught, raped and killed, she had to have only a little strength!  
Miho felt both sad and angry. She felt so bad to think of such things... and knew very well that it wasn't true. She knew that it was simply an unfortunate chance and that nothing could have prevented her from meeting her demise, not even the protection that Kinuyo wanted to offer them.

Miho didn't really feel like having a meal tonight. She ate only half of her ration, too much affected and depressed to force herself to finish it. Dogmeat had the leftovers. Kinuyo wasn't really hungry either, although she could eat her whole part without feeling sick. After this short, joyless meal, they lit a small wood fire, sat down close to each other and just stayed there, staring at the landscape. Now, it was no more the coastal Chugoku, but the mountainous Chugoku. Actually, they simply saw what their country was mostly composed of: mountains. Enormous pieces of rock rising towards the dark skies where the stars continued to watch over them. The Milky Way in person was even eyeballing them, as if to observe these two little vault survivors who were continuing their journey and were only spending one evening in this abandoned house.

Miho listened to the night sounds. The surviving insects were more numerous than before. It was undoubtedly being repopulated here. This reminded her of those few days after they were moved to this land school when Oarai had failed to close for the second time; when her friends had fallen asleep, she had ventured out of the tent and contemplated the heavens. Again, she imagined the situation if her team was still there. If all were alive, Hana would probably sleep at that time and wouldn't have thought twice, Yukari would probably try by all means to make Kinuyo go away as Alice had done without realizing it, Saori would still complain about not finding charming boys in a post-apocalyptic world, and Mako would also be kipping.  
Now that it had been a while since she had left them, Miho was beginning to realize their actual flaws. Hana was too nice and would have depleted their supplies by overeating. Yukari was too vivacious and ended up being sometimes annoying. Saori was too obsessed by her Prince Charming. Mako was too lazy and inactive. But she could still feel nostalgic when thinking of the good times. It didn't have the same effect as on Kinuyo when she remembered her disintegrated family, but it was still a little heartache. It was terrible to have abandoned them in this way... but after all, she would never forget her memories, it was part of her history.

When they finally started to feel their bodies shutting down and dazing off, Miho and Kinuyo went to sleep at the side of the house that seemed the safest so nothing would collapse on them and turn this dead house into a coffin of wood, corrugated iron sheets and plants. Dogmeat was curled into a ball just at their feet. Tomorrow, hopefully, they'd finally get rid of Shimane Prefecture.


	41. Chapter 40

**Author's note : Hello mates! I'm sorry I took so long for this one. I just hope the 41st one won't take as long as the 40th did. Don't hate me for that, please. I'm just feeling so unmotivated and unproductive. School is starting again in a few days and I'm already biting my nails to the mere idea of setting a foot there again. The pressure will come back, and I think I won't be able to take it anymore.**

 **Anyway, just enjoy this one and don't mind too much about my issues. I can deal with them.**

* * *

 _"Good night sweetheart, still my love will guide you_  
 _Dreams enfold you, in each one I'll hold you_  
 _Good night sweetheart, good night"_

 _\- Guy Lombardo_

* * *

 _Miho opened her eyes. She was in a place she didn't knew, thought it felt real. Kinuyo wasn't by her side.  
Where was she? It looked like a traditional garden... but it had nothing to do with the Nishizumi house. Yet there was a manor that vaguely looked like her home. It was strange. It was an unknown place, yet it felt a little familiar in a way..._

 _Suddenly, she understood. For the first time in a long time, she was dreaming. A small tap on the shoulder caught her attention. The short-haired girl turned around: Alice was sitting on a small rock and smiled slightly at her, as usual. Her mother wasn't there either. They were alone with each other._

 _"Alice! I wanted so badly to see you!"_

 _"Hello, Miho" the small girl murmured._

 _She was like when her ghost had appeared just after her death: normal-looking, without any wounds or bloodstains. Her complexion was slightly paler and from her body emanated a soft light._

 _"Do you know where I am? Please don't tell me I'm-"_

 _"No, don't worry, you're not dead. I just came to visit you. I know you're suffering a lot from my loss..."_

 _Alice, with a hand gesture, motioned her to sit beside her. Miho, though being a little hesitant, did so. It wasn't an evil entity that was passing for Alice's spirit. It didn't feel like it, at least. She kept staring at the ginger. Her hazel eyes, with their impassible aspect, had not changed. Only their expression seemed warmer than in her lifetime, although her body emanated a freezing cold because of her new ghostly condition._

 _"I want you to know something... don't give up, Miho," she whispered. "You lost a friend, a battle, but not the war."_

 _"Can you tell me if I'll find Maho safe?" the ginger murmured._

 _"We ghosts can't see the future. Tamada told me when she met me, just before everything went well agin. But I am wholeheartedly with you. I want the happiness of the only person who has been a true friend to me."_

 _"Are they nice to you, at least?"_

 _"Yes, these Chihatan students are very nice, but they're different from me... and they were already friends before I came here. There are two others that I met... but I can't tell you who they are. They fear you might unintentionally reveal it to Kinuyo. A faux pas can happen very quickly."_

 _"Good... at least, you're not unhappy on the other side," Miho breathed. "I already miss you horribly, you know... and... and I'm afraid of losing it before the end..."_

 _"You have to hold on and live," Alice said, putting a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Maho is waiting for you. Don't let her down. And Kinuyo won't be able to take your loss."_

 _Miho, despite her happiness to see her deceased friend, still wanted to cry. She had no idea of how she would manage to keep up. She knew even less how she wouldn't drag Kinuyo in her fall. Kinuyo was too sensitive for this emotional mess. Miho wanted to hug Alice, to never let her go, to bring her back to life even if it meant manipulating her ashes, but she knew it was impossible. The little girl seemed to notice her drowning eyes: she took her hand to comfort her. The ghost's touch gave her the impression of touching the absolute zero. Alice raised her friend's head._

 _"Remember I'm still here. Don't cry, Miho, because I will end up doing the same. Do you want me to cry?"_

 _"No, no," Miho sobbed, wiping her face. "I don't want you to cry... I'll.. I'll be strong, I promise."_

 _"You have to do it anyway. Kinuyo needs you. Maho needs you. Dogmeat needs you."_

 _"I'll carry on, Alice..." the short-haired girl whispered, trying to stop weeping. "It will be fine..."_

 _"Come on, take some time to rest," murmured the little girl. "I'm here for you..."_

 _Even before Miho could answer, everything stopped and went black._

She woke up with a start. Everything was normal; she was alive and well, nothing had happened to her body. Kinuyo, still rigged against her, was sleeping deeply, not moving an inch. No one had attacked them and the house, despite its condition, had held on. Miho knew that the only evidence she hadn't only dreamed was these tears that rolled down her cheeks and burned her eyes.  
She put one arm over Kinuyo's body and took her thin hand, moving her long dark hair in the process, then closed her eyes, trying to find sleep again. The moon was no longer very high in the sky and the heavens had a lighter shade. It was about half past four in the morning. At least, nothing had happened to her and her beloved partner was still alive, right there. Miho went back to sleep slowly and didn't see the sun rising.

When Miho opened her eyes after these some hours, Kinuyo was still asleep. On the other hand, Dogmeat was snooping around, as if he were in search of the slightest threat. Even depressed, he remained loyal and ready to defend his owners. What a lovely dog.  
Miho had a memory in mind. Once, with Maho, they played so much that they ended up sleeping on the tatami and fell asleep until late afternoon. They had woken up in their respective beds. Their father had carried them back to their rooms. It was strange, this feeling of having slept on the ground, on a rather hard ground.  
When they had to rest without a bed, Miho and Kinuyo laid down on a blanket and used the supplies bag as a makeshift pillow, although the cans and the various other things inside weren't very comfortable. It was better than sleeping right on the ground, though.

Miho ended up spending a little more time in bed, or rather in this makeshift bed. She wouldn't get up before her loved one would do. She didn't want to disturb or frighten her. Her condition worried her more than certainly. It wasn't because she said nothing that the recent events didn't affect her. Miho felt her moving slightly. A little sound was heard, like a very low moan. The brunette started moving a little more. It was weird. It was as if her body clenched, shook, and tried to escape from something. Yet she didn't have any convulsions. Kinuyo seemed to wake up a few seconds later, panting, and turned to Miho.

"Are you okay?" the short-haired worried".

"A nightmare... I saw everything again... Hosomi... Tamada... Alice... don't be afraid, my memory is just doing its job..."

Miho, without a second thought, hugged her tightly. Kinuyo didn't move at first, then squeezed her, as if to never let her go. The redhead felt almost lucky that Alice had decided to visit her that night... but was almost afraid to sleep now. If the same kind of nightmares surfaced in her mind, she would end up insomniac. Even with the presence of her girlfriend by her side, she couldn't keep these memories out of her mind. She hoped that the little talk with Alice's ghost would relieve her brain that was infected by this trauma she'd have for the rest of her life. She didn't need a sleep disorder in addition to all she was already going through. The trip had already become quite difficult.

Canigou went to the couple and snuggled up against them. Miho gently caressed his muzzle. He was part of the family too, and he knew it well. The ginger could feel that he was doing all he could on his side, even as a dog.

When they left the house, it was a little less silent. Kinuyo looked around, less tense, but very cautious. Miho felt her lover's hand tremble slightly. After experiencing such memories again, it was normal to feel shaken. Dogmeat often nervously switched sides. Yet there was no real danger around them, if it weren't for the enormous mutant creatures they might possibly encounter... or raiders, gunners, or some other dangerous fools who would decimate their family again, taking this time either the dog, the brunette or the ginger, both of them, or even all three. In the end, was it really important? The only point that mattered to Miho, now was to finish this damn trip and arrive safe and sound in Kumamoto, while making sure that Kinuyo would be feeling well, or at least not too bad.

In fact, even the kilometers covered didn't matter anymore to her. A sign indicating they were going to a small village, Sabumi, finished depressing her. It was still and always Shimane Prefecture. District of Kanoashi. Kinuyo, without notice, released her hand and stepped forward. She seemed furious, almost as enraged as when she had caught Alice with Tamada's urn.  
Miho couldn't hold her back from violently punching the sign, so violently that there was a sink in the metal where the side of her fist had hit it, just where that "Shimane" was written. Dogmeat jumped. Only one blow was given: she remained there, her eyes looking like that of a predator, staring at what she had just disfigured. Miho didn't even dare move. Yet her loved one would never have brutalized her.  
Kinuyo came back to her beloved and gently stroked her back, as if to say _"Don't worry, I was angry, I'm feeling fine now"_. They stopped farther in a grey house with a large black roof, which was the first they found when entering Sabumi.

The dog was the first to enter. He sniffed the sofa and climbed on it. Miho and Kinuyo left their stuff in the kitchen, then returned to his side. The redhead tried to pet him. He remained totally insensible to her affections, keeping his head low, and his ears drooping. The brunette tried as well: impossible to give him back the joy he had in the days when Alice was alive. He didn't react: he fell asleep a little later, completely exhausted and wishing only to rest.  
The couple preferred to go somewhere else, not yet hungry and trying to change what was on their minds. After all, it was better to think of something else than constantly moping. Maho wouldn't have liked it, and neither Alice would have. They would both have preferred to see them having fun or simply doing something rather than weeping tirelessly like two lost souls.

Miho looked into the bag to see if there was anything that tempted her. She didn't really want to eat, but she didn't want Kinuyo to start getting worried sick. Nothing special caught her attention. She fumbled a little more. Hosomi's diary was still there. There was no need to take a look at it, except for a few meaningless days. There was Tamada's urn, Alice's being in the suitcase, and the green-eyed girl's dogtag.  
Miho gently caressed the candy tin that contained the body of her former friend, whose actual friendship had lasted only a few minutes before her passing. She could feel this ghostly, freezing cold enveloping her. Tamada was there and looked at her, that was for sure. She even felt the energy of Alice at the braided ghost's side. And this time, it felt real, she was no longer afraid that it was an illusion. Yet she wasn't going to turn her head: the ghosts would with no doubt disappear as soon as she'd try to look at them.

Kinuyo was outside. Miho could see her from the window. She seemed to be thinking about something. She would return soon, maybe it was just a need for some alone time. The short-haired girl let her head fall on the supplies bag. She glanced at the diary. What a pain Hosomi could have felt when she was writing these lines... Not the same pain as hers, but the very pain of existing. First, Tokyo and its surroundings being wiped out by the third. At the same time, the loss of her family. Then, being sealed in a vault. Kubota's suicide, Hamada's pessimism, leaving the ones she loved a lot, and then Kinuyo flirting with her best friend and love interest... before the latter had started dying.  
Even though she had been away from her own family without knowing if they actually had survived, the insomnia caused by the white noise, the abandonment of her dearest group of friends, the deaths of Tamada and Alice, Miho didn't consider she lived worse than Hosomi had. She blamed herself for feeling angry when she read some passages. Hosomi had experienced one of the worst emotional tortures possible... She couldn't blame Kinuyo for that either, but knew that her girlfriend wasn't a saint. Miho herself wasnt one. She hadn't only abandoned her friends... she had also failed to protect her closest friend.

The brunette came in a few minutes later, one hand behind her back. Miho turned her head. Her thoughts had assaulted her brain to the point of giving her a headache. She gazed at Kinuyo, who always had that softness in her eyes, despite her pains and anxieties.

"Have you brought me something?" Miho asked.

"I know we don't have much, but..."

Kinuyo showed her what she had brought from the outdoors. A small flower. It was a yellow flower, with six petals, with a little golden tint. Miho felt emotional. It was so innocent of her. Even this thing of no great importance had become immense in her eyes. She teared up, but it wasn't from despair this time. She was so moved by this gift, even that tiny little flower that would wither very quickly, that she started crying. Kinuyo gently caressed her coppery hair.

"Thanks," she murmured. "You don't know how much it means to me, love..."

"Even if it's really small? I just hope I could give you something bigger..."

"Your intention is already huge, that's what counts," Miho replied, wiping her eyes with the back of her sleeve. "I don't know who could have done that to me apart from you... even Alice wouldn't have thought of it, I'm sure."

"It's different, with her you had a very close friendship, it had nothing to do with love... That doesn't mean she loved you less. It was just not the same way."

"It's true... but she would never have acted like that at all... anyway, you make me so happy..."

Miho, despite her tears, couldn't help but smile. Kinuyo took her hand and let her thumb caress the back of it. The redhead held the little flower firmly between her fingers, as if never to let it wither or even go with the wind. It was radioactive, would soon wilt, but the brunette gave it as a gift anyway. It was enough to make her smile, and that was what the brunette wanted. At least one smile, just one. It was already so much for someone who had just experienced one of the worst moments of her life...

For tonight, some rice was cooked. There was a half-jar in one of the cupboards in the house; for once, Dogmeat ate the same thing as his owners. After all, that wasn't going to kill him. He was probably going to be a little constipated, but he wouldn't die. He must have eaten much worse than rice. Plus, it wasn't toxic to dogs. Miho loved it as usual, but she was sometimes a bit fed up with eating this kind of food. Kinuyo said nothing, but she probably was too. The redhead was wondering how her girlfriend managed to never complain, despite the fatigue, the pain due to the weight of the bag, or certain things she didn't really like to eat. For food, neither of them was picky, and that was all the better, because in such a world, a picky person would just starve.

When they went to bed that night, they hoped to get better days. Perhaps tomorrow, they would finally be done with that prefecture of Shimane they hated so much.


	42. Chapter 41

**Author's note : Hello mates! I'm sorry I've taken so long again. I thought I'd make it in a shorter time, but finally... At least it's here, it's the important point. :  
How are you all feeling ? On my side, I'm getting help, situation in my life with school stuff might improve in the next weeks. I'll see what happens. But I start to get good feelings about the future again, which is a good sign. **

**Enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

 **WARNING :  
This chapter contains an explicit rape scene.  
If you've had any issues (trauma, etc.) with rape or aren't comfortable reading it, skip the part in italics. I don't want you to be reminded of this.  
**  
 **I've never been raped myself, but this scene was really, really hard to write for me. Almost felt sick writing it. I don't think I'll ever write something so explicit again. If I ever have to write rape again, I'll make it less described.**

* * *

 _"I'll never forget the people I met_  
 _Braving those angry sky's_  
 _I remember well as the shadows fell_  
 _The light of hope in their eyes"_

 _\- Vera Lynn_

* * *

 _Miho opened her eyes and instantly recognized the place. Nishihamada train station. That station where Alice had lost her life. It was impossible. She wanted to wake up and never, EVER see it again. She was in a corner of the room, just where the two spirits had appeared. There was nobody in the station yet... until four men came brutally, the most muscular of them holding firmly..._

 _No. It wasn't possible._

 _"Let me go, I beg you!" Alice screamed, struggling, her eyes looking frightened._

 _"You better be silent, m'dear..." the one holding her smirked. "Or things could happen to you..."_

 _The second who followed him closed the door that led to the street. The third snatched the girl's backpack and threw it against a seat. The fourth, on the other hand, remained behind, as if to make sure no one would come to help her._

 _"DOGMEAT! HELP!" Alice desperately called._

 _"Your dog will die if he dares come," her ravisher replied. "He already probably took a bullet. In any case, you're going to get a lot of love..."_

 _Miho wanted to stop this dream. She wanted to wake up again and again. Or at least find Kinuyo and force her to take her away. But she was alone in her dreams... the awakened world could not, in any case, help her._

 _"You're so pretty... we love you, darling..."_

 _"Please, don't hurt me, PLEASE!"_

 _"You're so lovely... such beautiful legs you have..."_

 _A dirty finger touched Alice's lips, caressing them softly, whilst a hot, putrid breath was blowing in her face. He was kissing her. That infamous taste of tobacco mixed with alcohol almost made her gag. He tried to slip his tongue into her mouth: Alice couldn't stop him, despite her reflexes that made her desperately move her head. She couldn't stand it. A hand started touching the inside of her legs. She struggled: his grip intensified, amplifying the pain that was already present, and he struck a violent blow on her forehead. The little girl started sobbing, helpless and more and more panicked._

 _"You love your pals? You make any noise, you know what happens. One bullet each. Understood?"_

 _"Leave me alone," Alice groaned, crying. "Please..."_

 _The hand started undressing her. One of the four gunners, the one who had thrown her bag, stepped forward and grabbed her legs. Her abductor bent over her and looked her straight in the eyes, an unhealthy smile showing his decaying teeth._

 _"Tell me you love me. C'mon. Tell me you love me."_

 _"Please... No..."_

 _A bark interrupted them. It was Dogmeat. He was trying to get inside. The fourth gunner, the one near the door, grabbed his neck, and under the eyes of the little girl, stabbed him in the leg with his combat knife. The dog shrieked in pain. Miho thought her heart was going to stop._

 _"DOGMEAT! NO! DON'T HARM MY DOG!"_

 _The man threw him like some junk on the tracks before closing the doors. Dogmeat barked, hitting the quay in his fall, both furious and helpless, wanting to save Alice at all costs. He squealed between two barks from the excruciating pain in his leg and started hammering violently against the doors, gone completely rabid. He tried to open the door: the raider who had thrown him acted as if he didn't exist. It was unbearable for the little girl. Her dog tried as best he could, completely mad with rage, to protect her, but it was lost. He'd not get inside. She was done for._

 _The pile of muscles looked at Alice straight back into the eyes. The little girl, paralyzed and hardly able to cry, could not utter a word. He smiled._

 _"My dear little flower... c'mon... I told you to tell me you loved me... do it... and you have a name, don't you?... I would love to know it..."_

 _He lowered his pants. The one holding the little girl squeezed her hand a little more. Alice felt a dirty finger entering her. Disgusted, violated, she struggled: the pressure of the other gunner's hands felt like too much now. She uttered a cry._  
 _He covered her mouth to prevent her from screaming. His hard penis got inside her. Alice felt the back and forth movement of that thing in her body, unable to do anything but shed tears and groan in pain. He was doing it brutally. Alice didn't even know how long her torture had lasted when a hot jet splashed: that brute had just ejaculated in her._

 _"MIHO! KINUYO! HELP ME!" she desperately shrieked on this impulse of disgust, before starting to cry again, unable to control herself._

 _He attempted again to kiss her. She tried as best she could to struggle, but there was nothing to do; she was held way too firmly. He winked at her, then stepped away. He seemed to ask the fourth, the one with the knife, exchanging glances with him. With horror, Alice saw that he was seizing his combat knife. He approached her and put the blade on her throat._

 _"You made noise, darling... they're dead now... see ya, cutie..."_

 _The little girl didn't even have time to speak. With a hand movement, in a split second, the blade cut a gaping wound in her throat. Alice reflexively screamed in pain: only a stream of blood came out of her mouth and throat. She couldn't even breathe. She started coughing and choking on her blood. The gunner let her go, her aggressor retreated, and the other two kept on watching her with that unhealthy curiosity._

 _Alice uncontrollably struggled. Bloody beats were throwing her vital fluid on the station's floor. She was drowning in her own blood. Every time she tried to breathe, she had a little more entering her lungs, and her throat would at times close up and try to cough. Everything started darkening around her. Miho was paralyzed in fear. Alice would die before her eyes, emptied of her blood, and would soon be nothing but the corpse she had discovered._

 _With a kick, they sent her poor, barely alive little body under the row of seats, and then left the station. Miho looked at her friend and bent down, desperately trying to wake her up. Her pupils were getting duller. A last attempt to catch that glimpse of life... and she was gone. Her eyes did not even close: they remained half-open... forever._

* * *

Miho awoke with a start. What she had dreamed had literally made her stomach turn. She was seized with discomfort in all her body. It was that kind of nausea that wouldn't make anything go out, but it was still present. Every square inch of her skin felt tingling, like when she sat for too long on one leg. She was swept by cold sweats which intensified when she noticed that Kinuyo was no longer at her side. Where was her lover? Was she still in the same world? The redhead hoped with all her heart that it wasn't another nightmare...

Miho heard water dripping in the kitchen. It was odd that there was still running water. Kinuyo was there, seeming to wash her hands over and over. But what struck the ginger was that her girlfriend was crying.

"Out, you damned spot... Out, I say!"

"Kinuyo?" Miho called softly. "Kinuyo, honey, what's going on?"

The brunette didn't answer. She kept passing her hands under the water. Miho tried to tap her shoulder: nothing to do, it was a sleepwalking attack. It would be impossible to wake her up.

"Please... go away, please! Why... what drove you to commit such an act when you knew the consequences...? You knew it very well... and yet... why? Why did you just flee as usual? You've never been able to cope with things... you coward!"

Kinuyo murmured in the midst of her tears. Miho didn't know what to do. She listened, powerless. The water continued to flow endlessly over her lover's hands, dripping from her long and thin fingers, drawing curves that shone in natural light that came from the window.

"She hanged herself... you were so blind, you could've helped... and the other, whose neck was shattered in pieces... it's your fault... you should have intervened..."

Some seconds without talking, then she murmured:

"..Will these hands never be clean?..."

Miho had the feeling of having heard something she shouldn't have. Was Kinuyo actually guilty of someone's death? That girl who had lost her life during the mutiny? She had the impression of reviving her feelings after Alice's death. This feeling of having failed her loved ones.

"Why didn't you overcome that fear... controlled your instinct... the little one could have survived... did you want her to live, actually? Why didn't you save her? Why? Tell me why, murderer!..."

The redhead felt her guts seizing up. She didn't want to remember the dream she had just had. Kinuyo couldn't have done anything anyway. A thin young girl facing four men who had at least three times her physical strength wouldn't have last a long time, even drugged to her own adrenaline. They would have made her suffer the same fate, even likely worse. Miho wrapped her arms around Kinuyo's body: the brunette was still completely numb.

"I still have the smell of blood on my hands... ten... nine, eight, seven, six... no perfume will be able to make them smell better... five... four, three, two, one... there's no way I could've fixed this... Now... to bed, to bed, my love, let's go to bed. What's done cannot be undone... yes.. come back to sleep, my dearest love..."

Kinuyo spent another few minutes, completely silent, with her hands under water. Miho turned the tap off. The brunette moved slowly towards the bedroom before laying down on the bed again. The ginger snuggled against her. It was so horrible to see her carrying such an enormous weight on her heart. And the death of the little girl had reopened the worst wound: her feelings of deep guilt and self-hate. These former anxieties she had finally managed to bury again, just for them to be dug up. What a waste. All these horrible moments and bits of happiness to finally fall back in her old demons. Miho didn't like that. Why were things always going wrong at the same stage?

The next morning, it was as if nothing had happened that night. Kinuyo looked quite normal, or at least almost normal. She was still affected by Alice's loss, she wasn't going to recover in one day, but didn't seem to remember what she had done that night. Miho thought it was better to avoid the topic. Knowing that one had a sleepwalking attack, especially when it had never happened before, could be very disturbing. It would be better to say nothing, no need to stress her out even more.  
On the other hand, the redhead remembered the sensations of what she had seen in her own dreams. It cut off her appetite, but she forced herself, again to avoid catching her lover's attention.

Kinuyo looked thoughtful, as if she was thinking about another way to make her Miho smile again. Yet the silence was neither heavy nor awkward. It wasn't cold: it was even communicative. Speaking would have broken that harmony.

The short-haired girl often wondered what was going on behind this deep brown gaze. Because if she had asked herself about it much more often for Alice, she also asked herself for Kinuyo. She knew that there was an unconditional love, intense emotions, neverending tenderness, at times a cataclysmic anger, but she didn't know, for instance, what ideas could cross her mind sometimes.  
Where did this sometimes odd intuition come from? This talent of creating a facade to avoid being rejected? How had she had the idea of giving her this pretty and fragile golden flower as a gift? Was it the last that had not yet withered, or was it simply because she thought it was beautiful? Or wasn't it a way to say, _"I put in you the last hope of survival that we have in this post-apocalyptic world"?_  
Kinuyo had such poetic potential that Miho wondered how far she could go. What she found a bit shameful was that lack of self-esteem that prevented her from seeing her creativity. Twenty-two brave steel lions to speak of the twenty-two tanks of Chihatan, it wasn't invented in a snap of fingers. It was necessary to have a little artist side in oneself to come out of such metaphors. Miho herself wouldn't have thought of it. To speak of tanks, she would have called them great fighters or war machines. She could never have made the comparison between a Chi-Ha and a lion... it was a tad far-fetched!

Despite having got to know her partner more after the war, she still hadn't revealed all of her secrets to Miho... and would undoubtedly bring with herself a good part to the grave!

And on Kinuyo's part, it was the same questions that moved her about Miho. How were all these mechanisms and behaviours working? She never ceased to intrigue her. It was like a huge clock. Miho was a clock mechanism, in fact. Each gear was linked to another and had its function. If one of them rusted or stopped, part of her personality would seem to be deteriorating. The gear which Alice had added had suddenly found itself damaged. That of Maho was weakening. She had to put some oil in it. Repairing Alice's would be impossible, but she could try to fix it up.  
On the other hand, it was precision work. A single mistake could be fatal. She had the impression of holding cards in hand and having only one chance to win a game. Losing would mean losing Miho. Winning would save her beloved's life and mental health at the same time. It was absolutely necessary to win this part of cards against the Fates. Time was passing... timelines were being eliminated one by one, changing at every event. What'd be the outcome? Would Miho be saved? Kinuyo continued to hope for it.

They resumed their journey a little later, followed by Dogmeat. He was still not as lively as he used to, but he was following. As long as he didn't find himself alone, that was the main thing. What horrors could happen to him ... He was wounded already and had became an easier prey. An injured leg, a bottomless sadness, a sleeping brain, he was the perfect meal of a mutant or a group of gunners or raiders. Above all, he had to stay near the couple. Miho whistled: he came to her, attracted by the sound. At least he hadn't become deaf, it was already good!

During their time on the road, a detail caught their attention. It was strange. There was a sign, a little further, indicating where they were going. They had just left the small town of Yoshika. There was still a long way to go, no doubt about this. In any case, they had already walked for a little while. Their legs were hurting. Kinuyo's shoulder started to hurt badly. Miho was out of breath, having accelerated the pace.

"You're going to love that sign," murmured the brunette. "We're now in prefecture of..."

"Please, no jokes on Shimane, I'm fed up with it..."

"Yamaguchi!"

Miho thought she was dreaming. Kinuyo pointed at the sign with a smile on her face. The short-haired had to pinch herself to make sure it was real. In fact, they were in the municipality of Iwakuni, in a small hamlet called Nishikimachiono. And it was no longer Shimane. It was Yamaguchi. Finally out of this hell. Switched prefectures. Relief.

The ginger couldn't hold this cry of joy that came out of her mouth. Kinuyo put down the bag and hugged her, glad to see her smiling again. Dogmeat seemed to realize things were going better. He barked, leaped into the air, and started wagging his tail. The brunette felt so happy. She finally managed to bring back Miho's lovely smile, the loveliest in the world to her. Leaving the horrible Shimane was enough to make her happy again.  
She kissed her gently, stroking her back, still as sweet and delicate as usual. The redhead, comforted by the warmth of her partner and the sensation of her lips caressing hers, put a hand in her almost black hair and could not help but try to feel it even more. She held a strand firmly in her hand, feeling a whole energy in it. The vital force of her loved one. Kinuyo was not only alive, but was here with her. She was with her physically and mentally. And she had tried to make her happy.  
Miho felt much better. She could feel Alice - was it Alice, Tamada, Hosomi, or was it all three at the same time? - appearing behind her and sending a kind of vibe that made her think of a smile. In any case, it was this cold that made her smile. It may have come only from her own brain, no one knew after that, but it was something very comforting.

"To celebrate this, I got an idea" Kinuyo murmured. "We should sleep under the stars like we did at the very beginning of our story..."

"Of course yes," said Miho. "I need to rediscover all of these feelings..."

Below, there was a small blue shed next to a sort of small field: the earth had been ploughed before the war, but nothing had grown. Not far from there, there were some kinds of terraces, which undoubtedly served to cultivate some crops, but which were covered with grass. Nothing had grown there either. They went down by one of them, put their bags in the little shed, and came back to sit on the edge of the lower terrace. Dogmeat, despite his leg, had no difficulty in following them. It was surprising. No sooner had he known that things had changed than he had begun to be the little Dogmeat he was before, that cheerful and lively dog, always ready to have fun, even with the loss of his mistress that had left him in mourning. Had he seen her? Possibly...

Kinuyo let Miho put her head on her lap. The sun was no more very high and would set in maybe one hour. Dogmeat sat down beside them. The redhead closed her eyes, listening to the sounds of nature around her.

"Say, Miho, have you ever thought of writing lyrics to tell about your life in the wasteland?"

"Not really, why? Would you like to set up a troupe for a musical? Or would you like to be a singer or some musician?"

"I would have liked to transcribe my feelings in music... just as I did on the piano with Alice. I sing very badly, but I thought of writing lyrics instead of using my voice, as I have already done poetry... And yes, with Maho, possibly recruit people to form a theater company or make a musical about the apocalypse. The idea came through my head, but I don't know if it will be possible to put it in practice."

"That would be a very good idea," replied the redhead. "You are very creative. I would never be able to do such a thing. You see things from an angle that I can't perceive, just as I do the opposite. We complete each other's perceptions. On the other hand, yes, the problem is to meet people... maybe Maho didnt come out of the vault alone. It is possible that she took some of our teammates and our mother. Shimada-san was probably with her as well."

"Tell me about Kuromorimine," Kinuyo said. I have never set foot on it, but I wonder ...

"Kuromorimine was a very strict school. German-themed. The Nishizumi style was even more rigid there than elsewhere. In fact, they swore ONLY by the Nishizumi style. My mother was the headmistress of this school. And at the slightest slippage as I was able to do, one could become public enemy number one. What scares me is that it would have been almost more acceptable if I had let Koume die... We would have won our tenth victory, but we would have lost her... I couldn't let fate take her life."

"If you had let her drown, you'd have ended up like me, feeling guilty and self-hating day and night," Kinuyo protested. "This would have never happened in Chihatan... even when Tsuji-san was here. She was almost brutal, but still moral. I can't believe how your mother lacks humanity. I hope she d-"

The brunette stopped abruptly, as if she dared not finish her sentence, fearing to offend Miho. But the ginger, knowing what she would have said, didn't get upset. After all, it could happen to flare up a bit and be harsh. She stroked Kinuyo's hand to calm her down a little.

"Don't worry, it's the past now... I'll find Maho, maybe Erika, Koume, my mother and perhaps other ones... Geshiko, Ritaiko, Mauko, Sangou..."

"A new life with people from your old school... are they nice to you, at least?" the brunette questioned, a little worried.

"Koume has remained a friend of mine, Erika has been acting bad to me for a while, but I think she was simply jealous because she loves my sister and wants attention from her... even if Maho isn't much interested in love. Sangou is pretty shy but quite nice if you get to know her. Ritaiko is incredibly sweet and understanding. You must be careful not to anger Geshiko though, she is very irritable, but as long as you aren't aggressive, she won't necessarily be annoyed. And Mauko is impulsive, but not a bad person. Just be careful not to feel offended by them. They're sometimes a bit rough. You would get along very well with Koume and Ritaiko, I think."

"Oh, it's okay, you have quite correct people in your school", laughed the brunette. "You would have loved Hamada so much... she was so gentle, so caring, and always willing to say the truth. Nagura was also adorable, and her health issues made me feel even more sympathetic towards her. For Teramoto, I was often wondering if she was nice was out of politeness or if it was sincere. On the other hand, you would have had a little trouble with Ikeda, I think. "

"Why? Did she had a problem?"

"She was funny, very nice, she really loved sweets too, but she was really... unpredictable", Kinuyo explained. "A bit like Hosomi in her diary, except that it was all the time, not just in situations like we had. Just a little annoyance, a minor thing, and she switched to the 'other Mitsuko Ikeda'... who was aggressive, even wicked. Partly why I got a bit away from her. She was worse than Tsuji-san. If you talked to her while she was 'the other', she literally lashed out at you."

"She reminds me of Mauko. She's like that too, except I wouldn't say she's a bad person... you just never know when she's going to get upset and become 'the other' Mauko. It is as if she had a double personality. It's weird."

"In any case, I hope that nothing has happened to your sister and that she will be found... I am certain, somewhere, that she is still alive. And yet, I have no tangible proof of what I say."

"Your intuition was spot on more than once," replied Miho. "I trust your gut."

They remained here talking for some time, until nightfall. The dinner consisted of a few cans, as usual, but they felt like grilling or roasting something. Fishing for radioactive fish or hunting rabbits that were also radioactive was possible, but perhaps the radiation would still be too strong in them. They went to sleep together tonight, hand in hand under this wonderful starry sky, and fell asleep peacefully, accompanied by their dear Dogmeat, in a calm and a relaxation that they had not known since Alice was gone.


	43. Chapter 42

**Author's note : Hello mates! I'm sorry this took so long. I know I'm always saying that, but taking so much time just makes me feel terribly unproductive and guilty. I wish I was quicker to work so you wouldn't have to wait so much for me to update. I lost a relative and spent the whole week at family's. I'm still deeply hurt, it's a normal part of grief, but it'll go away... Don't worry too much about me.**

 **Chapter 43 is currently being written in original version. I just hope it won't take as long as the previous ones.**

 **Enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

 _"Each night I laid there in prison_  
 _I pictured a future so bright_  
 _For he was the one ray of sunshine_  
 _That shone through the darkest of nights"_

 _\- Hank Williams_

* * *

No dream that night. Miho was relieved. She was so afraid to have nightmares similar to the last one again. But this night, nothing. Not even a memory of her trauma after she spoke again of Koume, of her mother, of what she had suffered from at Kuromorimine...

The grass was not the best mattress, but it felt comfortable. Kinuyo was always at her side, awake as well but letting the morning sun caress her body. It wasn't too hot yet. It was still the moment when the heat was bearable. The temperature would rise well to more than thirty-five degrees: it was common here in summer. In the middle of August, the journey became a real test at times, already that it was very long. As they approached Kumamoto more and more, they still weren't there yet. There were still about two hundred kilometers to cover. They were close to their goal, of course, but that didn't mean they could give up before reaching home.

Miho felt the dog's head landing on her. Dogmeat was laying at her side and asked for some affection. With her free hand, she gently scratched his muzzle. He closed his eyes, comfortable, affectionate, very calm compared to usual. At least he had almost lost that sad look he had during the days following the death of his owner. His joy wasn't entirely back, but he was still less morose. Alice was no longer there, but he kept on living... he was the continuity of her life, in a way. He was so attached to her that he almost became part of her. It was as if Alice, although she had become a ghost, was not totally dead. Dogmeat, the part that corresponded to the very core of her heart, her true feelings, was still alive. He continued to carry her vital energy. The girl's body was nothing but ashes, but she was there. More present than Tamada and Hosomi were. She had left her mark forever. The years would pass, yet she'd always be there.

Kinuyo seemed more relaxed. She shook Miho's hand less strongly, but her grip was still quite firm, as if to bind her forever. The red thread was already there since the beginning, but she wanted to add something to it. Doubling it with metal, for example. The short-haired girl was enjoying both this contact and the beautiful, sweet weather of Yamaguchi. It felt better than the sunshine on the terrible Shimane.

"I think of that flower I picked up for you," murmured the brunette. "Golden flowers... I wonder where to find other ones like these. They are really beautiful. I really would have liked to offer you a whole bouquet."

"Perhaps we'll find some of them in my home's garden, who knows... They look like a new species born from a mutation because of the three bombs. There were some that looked like them before the war, but they seem to have spread."

"Or maybe they're just an evolution...? I just can't wait to arrive."

"Me too... not seeing Maho feels worse and worse, and Alice is no longer there..."

Miho felt her throat tightening again. She was no more in Shimane Prefecture and was far from Hamada, but it didn't mean she wouldn't want to cry when she thought of the little girl. Kinuyo snuggled harder against her.

"I'm so worried, Kinuyo," Miho murmured. "I'm dead worried about Maho... besides, I don't even know if she brought people with her... I don't want you to experience again what you had with Ikeda because of Mauko. I'm so afraid Erika would start acting bad to me again... and my mother..."

"Before anyone will hurt you, they'd have to trample me underfoot," the brunette said. "I refuse that anything happens to you. And Ikeda was sometimes terribly annoying, but she was still someone I liked a lot... even if I just can't help but notice I didn't care that much about her."

"If she brought someone out of the vault, I hope it's Koume, Ritaiko or even just Erika. In a way, I'm relieved Shimada-san has passed... I won't have to have to tell..."

Miho couldn't finish. The mere name of Alice was tearing her inside. Kinuyo, understanding, let silence speak. After all, sometimes it was better to keep quiet so as not to make things worse. She was so afraid of hurting her beloved that she was scared of talking. She had almost let out a very bad word about her mother, it was already... a terrible lack of respect, which wasn't even intentional.  
Miho was struggling to fill this void in her heart. The one in which Alice was before, and which had been hollowed out at the moment when she had found that little lifeless body that was hers. Even Maho couldn't fill it... it was one of her closest friends who had gone away.

When they left, they walked a little slower than usual. It was almost as if they didn't want to hurry. Despite the fact that things were starting, apparently, to get better, there was always a gloomy background.  
Kinuyo was still holding Miho's hand and felt like she was carrying everything. She had the physical weight of the bag, but also the emotional weight of her lover's state. It was as if, in addition to carrying the supplies, she was carrying a wounded Miho in her arms. It was like visualizing herself carrying her loved one's body to a field of golden flowers, the flowers she had given her, and laying her on them, laying her to finally rest. This body was her conscience, and that field of flowers was Kumamoto. Miho could never get through this alone. It was the only way to save her.

But while they were still pacing the mountain road that seemed to lead them to the town of Shunan, not far away from the coast that overlooked the Seto Inland Sea, a drop fell from the dirty cotton clouds. Then another. Three others. Thirteen others. Thirty-three others. The only shelter nearby was a tunnel. It was necessary to continue and take refuge there! The couple couldn't help but worry. Even after four months, there were still radioactive particles. It was less dangerous, but it was better to be careful anyway.

Dogmeat outdistanced them and was the first one in the tunnel. It was like a race for him, not a flight from danger. Slightly wet from the rain, Miho and Kinuyo sat at the entrance to keep an eye on the shower. It wasn't going to last too long. After all, rain had always been a normal and natural phenomenon. It wasn't raining more than before the war. Just, the previously innocuous water drops were now possibly toxic or even lethal, even if it was much less likely now. Dogmeat, on his side, seemed to watch the drops fall, just like Alice would have done.

"In fact, I wonder how the crossing will go," Miho whispered. "We will have to take a powerboat. I'm very bad with sails. And a raft is not going to take us very far."

"How many kilometers?" Kinuyo questioned. "Thirty?"

"Closer to forty, I think. Hang on, I'm checking it."

Miho put her Pip-Boy in map mode. There were forty-three kilometers between Shunan and the town of Kunisaki, in the prefecture of Oita. Forty-three kilometers of sea to cross.

"Forty-three kilometers. That was close. I'll try to make sure we get there quickly. Besides, to be in shape before the crossing, I think we should rest a few days in Shunan... what do you think about this?"

"Good idea," said the brunette. "We need rest. In addition, if you have to learn how to drive a speedboat at the moment, it's better to be hale and hearty. If you drown us, Maho won't be able to bear it."

She glanced at the dog. Miho wondered if they were communicating that way. When she looked at Dogmeat in the eyes, she felt it as if he spoke to her in words as any man would do. It was very strange. She couldn't hear a voice, but understood exactly what he meant. Was that why he was so close to Alice? Was she not communicating with him in this way? Did she have conversations with her dog? How did he do it? It was a question that Miho often asked herself.  
Kinuyo and Dogmeat had exchanged a glance just before the shooting. Perhaps both knew it way before it happened and confirmed to each other they were on the same wavelength.  
Miho had never felt this with her own dog. Although she absolutely adored animals, she had never felt very close to the Shiba Inu of her family. There wasn't this "communication"... who was Dogmeat, in the end? Was he really a dog? Was he some nature god? A yokai? He was most likely a normal Akita Inu... maybe her brain was just starting to go crazy because of all the things she was going through at the same time.

They were back on the road forty minutes later. The shower had ceased. It was already much less dangerous. Dogmeat trotted before them, as if to guide them. For once, he was leading... it was such a contrast with his depressed attitude that he had had for the last days!

When they arrived, they chose a salmon-ish pink house, in the small hamlet of Kaminakaichi, to spend the evening. There was a balcony facing the street. It would be perfect to watch the summer night sky in this coolness that relieved them from the overwhelming heat of the day. At least, in the evening, there was some air. During the day, it was like an open oven. Japanese summer was probably one of the hottest on the planet. And they were still on Honshu! The temperatures in Kyushu were even worse. Miho no longer counted the days she spent in a shadowy room with Maho and a fan as companions. The family dog gasped as if they had sprinted for miles, and her mother spent her time moisturizing her face. Fortunately, unlike her beloved, she had never fainted because of the heat. Or at least, not yet. It was always possible that it would happen one day.

Kinuyo, just after leaving the bag in front of the sofa, laid down directly on the cushions, tired. Her body felt so hot that it literally drained her. Miho took her girlfriend's wrist. Her heart was thumping in her veins. The effort had been difficult. Still, luckily, the brunette didn't seem about to pass out, just very tired. The redhead preferred to let her rest while staying nearby... just in case. She brought her water. Kinuyo got up and took a sip.

"Fortunately the temperature goes down in the evening," she murmured. "I would not stand it if it was as hot at night. When there's a heat wave, I feel like I'm dying."

"Are you sure you don't want to get rid of two or three things? I carry the suitcase, but it's light... You're carrying a weight, my love..."

"No no, it's okay... I can hold on."

"You're hurting yourself", Miho whispered. "Your shoulder is getting worse and worse and you get tired quickly under the sun. You'll keep a scar..."

"It's okay, Miho. If I have to become crippled, I'll be crippled for you."

The redhead sighed. This attitude started to get on her nerves.

"Think a little about yourself," she breathed. "Don't forget that we're separate people. You can't always be behind me."

"But if you start going bad, you won't be able to finish the trip. I'd sacrifice myself for your own good, after that I don't have a..."

"STOP," Miho snapped. "Stop, please, stop using the excuse of your family. You still shouldn't forget about yourself so much. You have to take care of your own self."

"But..."

Kinuyo's voice seemed to mute all of a sudden. Miho thought quickly. Her lover was stubborn as a mule, but she wasn't stupid. She would have to convince her. The ginger didn't want to tell herself that it was manipulation, but she tried to find an argument that could make her beloved change her mind and stop forgetting about herself so much, even if it meant having to do something she thought as wrong. She had to use what she kept as a last resort. She leaned over Kinuyo, took her hand and looked straight into her eyes.

"If you keep on doing this, you're going to wear yourself out and it could kill you. What would I do if you died? Where would I find the strength to continue? I've already lost Alice, I don't know if Maho is alive, and if you die, I'll follow you. Do you understand now why I ask you that?"

Kinuyo did not answer, but her gaze made it clear she understood. Her brown eyes started getting teary. She tried to hide her emotions, but Miho took her in her arms and let her crack. When her beloved cried, it was a real heartbreak for the short-haired girl. Inside her tummy, a terrifying clawed hand was tearing her insides and soaking them in acid. Guilt took over her. She felt bad about having to manipulate her, but it was for her own good.

In the end, the urns, a few books they had gathered on the road, the pictures, Hosomi's diary, the jumpsuits and the blankets ended up in the suitcase, as well as some cans. The supplies bag was slightly less heavy. Kinuyo's shoulder would probably be less marked. Miho carried more weight, but it didn't matter to her. Her beloved was exhausting herself, and she could have collapsed at any moment between two towns.

After a well-deserved dinner, they decided to go outside. It was unusual, it could be dangerous, but Dogmeat would protect them in case something would happen anyway. In fact, if they had gone out, it was because Miho had spotted this rise behind the house. It was some kind of hill. There was a blue hut just in front of a horde of trees. From there, the view would be better than from the balcony. After spending half an hour climbing the little hill, they found themselves in the midst of these trees. Dogmeat laid down when they sat on the ground, careful not to crush anything delicate, like a possible hornet's nest. Fortunately, the soil, apart from the leaves and other natural waste usually encountered in a post-apocalyptic world, was clean.

A stunning view of the Shunan area. It was really beautiful. They had never gone so high, so close to the stars. Miho pointed her arm in the distance. There was, in the direction she showed, what she wanted Kinuyo to see. A beautiful green-yellow glow emanated from the horizon. It looked like a blurry cloud, as if someone were only lighting that part of the sky. Kitakyushu. Ninety kilometers away, there was a luminous crater at this precise location. A glowing sea. There were actually three glowing seas in this country... one in Tokyo, one in Niigata, and they were in front of the third. And here, they could watch it without being killed by the radiation doses. But were they safe from some dose of sieverts, actually...?

"Wonderful," Kinuyo whispered. "How did you know that we would have this view on this hill? Did you look at the Pip-Boy?"

"Yes, and I wanted to please you tonight," the redhead whispered. "I can't believe it used to be a city..."

"And now.. nothing is left," murmured Kinuyo. "A crater, a pretty green light, but no more city. No more people. I wonder if there was a vault right under ground zero..."

"Oh, you know, if it was directly under the explosion, there mustn't be much left. Everything would have imploded. The first survivors are likely around Shimonoseki or Fukuoka. But I really doubt that there is anyone left in Kitakyushu."

"At least, some people close to the crater could have survived... I think back to the ones from Viggen High School in Niigata. I don't feel like they've made it... and St-Gloriana must be in a worse state than Chihatan was already."

"Kumamoto was a good distance away from Kitakyushu, I think my house and the castle are still standing. There must be some leaks to fix... we will end up repairing the whole house, almost. It will be simpler when we'll have settled at the castle. The whole thing will be to find people with whom to collaborate."

"Why don't you bring all the ones from Vault 80 out once you'll have cleaned up and prepared everything?" Kinuyo suggested. "That would be a good idea. We would found a colony."

"Ah, I hadn't thought of it!" Miho exclaimed. "Clever idea. I'll ask Maho a little more, but I keep your idea in mind."

"Then, after having tinkered with your house, we'd place everyone in the castle."

Miho felt her heart flying as if it had wings. She was dying to tell her about her childhood moments or simply tell her about her home.

'You'll see... the Nishizumi property is huge. You won't believe it. Our house is some kind of manor, actually. There are so many rooms that some are empty."

"My house was quite big and we had a small garden, yet we weren't particularly rich, it was passed down from generation to generaon, otherwise we had a little money but we weren't rolling in money either," Kinuyo replied. "Upper middle class. Your home is likely... three times the size of my home, even more."

"It's gigantic, you'll see. We have a floor. There is not much up there, though. Decorative things, mainly, and stuff like archives and other various things. My room is downstairs, and Maho's is next door. I will show you the whole house. Also, we have a private training ground. It is perfect if we want to escape a little together, even without a tank."

"When I was still at home in Minato, I was either in my room reading or talking to myself, either in the garden or in the garage when I got my motorcycle, or simply in the office to steal some books to my parents to put them back in place when I finished them. The last summer before I went to Chihatan, I spent an afternoon sleeping under the tree in our garden. I'd have loved to fall asleep forever right there, at this place. It felt so amazing... and I would have ended up dying in the very happiness of existence."

"It reminds me of the time Maho and I took the Panzer II into our private grounds, far away, and we stayed there till night. We played all day together, we cuddled, we picked apples, we spent one of the best moments of our lives, and we only came home when the sun had started going down. The best was when you looked at the stars. We felt like we were living. Living in infinity. You feel so alive... you just want to rise to the skies and never come back to Earth again."

"You were so lucky... if I had a big sister, I would have had such respect for her... Hm, my parents lost the twins they were expecting after I was born. Apparently, they left by themselves... my mother's womb was now a grave. I was nine years old at this time. An odd chromosome that had three parts instead of two, if I recall good."

"Oh you know, having a big sister wasn't always so good. When I was born, Maho, who was still very young, had become so jealous that she was deliberately trying to make me cry. She feared that she would no longer be loved. It's normal at this age... and when I grew up, we became the best friends in the world. She accompanied me so much... comforted me... supported me... still does today. We argued sometimes, but it never lasted long... I love my Maho so much. I want her to be alive and well..."

"I know she still lives, Miho. It's weird to say it this way, but I know that. You don't have to worry about her, "the brunette whispered. "I propose that we go to bed."

"Yes, let's go."

They left, followed by Dogmeat, who had remained very calm. There was nobody in Kaminakaichi. It was not like Hamada where silence was too present to foreshadow good things. Here, nothing felt heavy. Time seemed to have stopped.

The couple slept peacefully tonight, both filled with images of their fond memories of childhood, dug up just in front of the magnificent radioactive gleams.


	44. Chapter 43

**Author's note : I'm so sorry for taking long, I say it again. I hope I'm not being too slow! This pace is comfortable, but I'm thinking about my readers' preferences, and I wonder what you think about that. If you have anything to say, just PM me or say it in a review about this.**

 **Chapter 44 is started in original version. I hope it'll take less long than this one did, really.**

 **Enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

 **WARNING :  
This chapter contains a sex scene.  
More explicit than the last one, but I think I won't make more explicit scenes. This isn't meant to be a porn fanfic. I'm practicing, mainly, and well, sex is a part of a couple's life.**

* * *

 _"I will gather stars out of the blue,_  
 _For you, for you."_

 _\- John Boles_

* * *

 _Drumming rain. Miho felt her hair soaking up from drops that kept hitting these ginger locks. Some girls would complain of their hair losing its straightening, others would refuse to look outside from the cupola of their tank... The rain wasn't easy to stand for everyone, especially since the ground was slippery, which wasn't ideal for driving at all._

 _She looked around. These landscapes were familiar to her.. but where was she? A river flowing down below... a rocky landscape... Why was she in a Panzer III with a light brown camouflage? She glanced at her clothes. The uniform of Kuromorimine. It wasn't possible. One trauma after another! First Alice's death, and now the finals of the 62nd tournament! Could this not stop? Miho felt very bad, but tried to relativize. It was only a dream, she thought, while anticipating the sequence as she had lived it in the real world. One of the tanks of Pravda was going to try to fire on Koume Akaboshi's Panzer III. It would try to dodge it, but end up slipping and falling into the water._

 _"Koume, watch out!" Miho yelled, wanting to warn her friend._

 _No answer. But there wasn't so much sound and she had enabled her microphone: Koume had very likely heard her, or the radio operator would have transmitted Miho's warning to her. Something was definitely off. Koume would have usually answered, or she would have given a life sign. Maybe nothing would happen... who knew?_

 _But Miho's hope was short-lived. She noticed the tank before hers wasn't a Panzer III... it was a Chi-Ha! What was a Japanese tank doing in a team of German ones? It was beyond absurd... it made no sense. It was impossible that..._

 _The Pravda tank's fatal shot. The Chi-Ha veered towards the cliff, to the surprise of the redhead, then seemed to accelerate, suddenly turning to the side. It was going straight into the river. It descended the slope at a much higher speed than the engine could stand, and when it struck something that was laying there, its left track broke._  
 _In a din, the Chi-Ha starting filling with water, sinking little by little into this watery hell. In a heartbeat, Miho did exactly what she had done for Koume; She rushed out of the Panzer III and leaped over the rocks. She slipped, her garrison cap fell, she felt her tailbone hurt, and found herself again in the water. Only the semicircular antenna of the small Japanese's turret remained visible. She took a deep breath and dove without hesitation towards the sinking vehicle._

 _As she did in the real world, she put her hands on the hatch and pulled it. But it didn't open. It was as if something or someone was holding it from within._  
 _Miho tried not to panic. She saved her strength to remain as long as possible under the water. Finally, should she drown or let the occupants drown? The choice wasn't even negotiable; At all costs, she would save the crew stuck inside!_

 _But as she decided to rise to the surface to breathe, she felt the hatch opening. She looked inside and was seized with such pain that she almost had the reflex to scream underwater._  
 _It was Kinuyo. She was still alive; She moved slightly, but looked very bad. Her face was so pale. Around her eyes and lips, it was starting to get grey-bluish. Her movements were really weak. She wasn't far from losing consciousness, there was no doubt. Why had she charged into the water? Was it a suicide attempt? A murder attempt by her driver?_

 _Miho, trying at best to hold her breath a bit more, seized her and found her oddly heavy; Kinuyo raised her head and stared at her, these brown eyes of hers looking sad, as if she had given up. The redhead tried to pull her up, but she was too heavy. It was as if she were weighted. Miho herself started suffocating. A terrible feeling of panic took over her. Go up and let her lover die? Stay and drown with her? In any case, she was running out of air and needed to breathe, otherwise she wouldn't last long underwater and would end up drowning._  
 _These questions alternated without interruption in her brain. Her heart accelerated. Her whole body started shaking, her reflexes kicking in but her head trying to contain them._

 _She started feeling dizzy and it was increasingly harder to keep her mouth shut. Trying to calm down, she struggled to stay in the same position, despite her body starting to shake. Kinuyo, faintly, put a hand on her cheek and had a slight, sweet smile on her lips, but soon her eyes closed; Her body became even heavier; The water was probably starting to fill her body, if it hadn't started earlier.  
_  
 _Miho didn't know what to do; She craved for oxygen, desperately wanted to get some air, but but couldn't under that deadly water. Her body, uncontrollably, tried to go for the surface, but she was weighed down by her partner's body. Her vision turned yellowish as her brain was trying everything possible to work without fuel._  
 _Finally, her reflexes took over and she gasped, only to feel that fluid full of shit, earth and chemicals entering her throat, then her lungs. She felt an excruciating, burning pain, like nitric acid poured into her body, and reflexively opened her mouth, but no sound could get out, no air was remaining inside either. Her movements became almost convulsive. Her whole body was trembling, struggling, trying to do something to save its life. But it was useless. She was done for._  
 _  
Her mind became troubled. Nothing. Cold. Water. Burning pain. Kinuyo. Koume. The Chi-Ha. The death that awaited her. Her parents. Her sister. All that mattered to her._  
 _Everything was moving at a crazy speed. and was going black. It was the end. The end..._

* * *

Miho opened her eyes and coughed so violently that she got up. Kinuyo was awakened by the noise and raised her head.

"What's wrong dear? I'm here, don't be afraid!"

She motioned to her that everything was fine and took time to get her breath back. That dream had seemed so real... so horrible...

"I had a nightmare," she murmured. "It's nothing."

"You scared me so much... I thought you were choking... Nagura had these kinds of attacks too, that was so frightening... she coughed badly, it sounded weird, and she literally couldn't get her breath back. No wonder why pneumonia failed to take her away from us... every time, we were scared for her."

"I don't have that kind of issues... I have good health," muttered Miho. "I dreamed that you were throwing yourself in the river with the Chi-Ha instead of Koume falling with the Panzer III... and I couldn't bring you to the surface, we drowned together..."

"My poor little Miho... I couldn't do that to you as long as you're alive, even if I was desperate..."

"I know... but I feel so bad, I dream of my trauma and it's you who is in place of Koume, while you don't even know each other."

"If you saw my dreams too... I find myself on a chessboard in the place of the white king, and have you for queen, Alice and Dogmeat as knights, and only one rook, Maho. No bishops. Only some unknown pawns. I'm against my former teammates in place of the black pawns, my parents as rooks, Hosomi and Tamada as bishops. I don't get why my own friends are against me. Checkmate. I'm done for."

"Your dreams are more pleasant than mine," Miho sighed. "I prefer to dream that I am a pawn rather than dream of rape or drowning."

"Hm, that's true," murmured Kinuyo. "But it remains very scary... you must live it to know how it really feels."

The redhead got up and put on her top, then her skirt. The brunette soon followed her and did the same. Dogmeat, who was lying down at their feet, looked at them, but remained in his position, as if he hadn't slept enough. After all, he would still have a few minutes, taking the time to have breakfast, gather their stuff and go around to make sure nothing is missing before leaving.

Despite the nightmares and anxiety that was still present, the surroundings of Shunan were feeling pretty safe. In any case, neither Miho nor Kinuyo seemed to care about anything, apart from these few little hassles. There were no major problems, in fact. The next few days of rest would do them good. Today, they were simply going to the coast and finding a house to spend these two or three days of... well, post-apocalyptic vacation.

They left after eating some biscuits, accompanied by their faithful Dogmeat who was frolicking beside them, despite his mood. Miho almost wanted to stay on the southern coast of Honshu, but Maho would still be in Kyushu. It'd cancel the plans, which would please neither her girlfriend nor her sister. In fact, her desire to travel was dying as she approached Kyushu. Maho's absence felt worse and worse.

It was August 13 today. She recounted the chronology in her head. On June 3, Kinuyo had escaped from Vault 64, leaving Fukuda against her will and bringing with her Tamada and Hosomi. Miho ran away on July 7, and Hosomi probably died on the same day. Tamada had succumbed to radiation on July 9. Dogmeat had entered their lives a day later, on July 10. Kinuyo had kissed her three days later, on July 13, they had found Alice on July 15, and the little one was killed on August 8. 3 weeks by their side.  
She thought of the other dates. For how long have Chiyo Shimada been dead? Was it since Alice had seen her ghost behind the window? Was that the case before she saw her? Was she dead since the first day? And when had Maho gone out of Vault 80, if she had? What would be their date of arrival? Too many dates. Miho started getting headaches from overthinking.

The road didn't really look like what they had seen until now. They were in Shunan. City, for once. The whole thing was to find a safe place and possibly go hanging out for some time. According to their instinct, they roamed the streets, guided by their adorable Dogmeat.  
They eventually found a white and pale pink house, with solar panels as they liked. There was a car parked in front of it, a small periwinkle-coloured Honda. A kei car. Miho saw her lover giving it a distant glance, which she didn't usually do. The ginger hoped that she wasn't planning to kill herself with the exhaust gases. She was afraid since that dream... she could never be too careful. She would keep an eye on Kinuyo as much as she could.

When they entered the house, while Kinuyo went upstairs to bring the stuff in their room and looking around, Miho looked everywhere in search of weapons. There were very nice kitchen knives in a drawer... very sharp ones! Exit! The short-haired girl carefully seized them and hid them under the sofa. Ah, no, Dogmeat could get hurt accidentally. She moved them, but didn't know where to hide them. The car? In the toilet? In the bathroom? She had to decide quickly. She finally chose to put them under the cushions of the sofa. After all, nobody would go there... what if someone did? Kinuyo wouldn't hurt herself, at least! There was no rope in sight... nor anything else potentially dangerous... she could relax.

She just had the time to slide them under and hide her fear when the brunette came downstairs.

"Still, I was wondering..." she whispered. "Do you think we can find a spare car key? Maybe it's unlocked and I'm worrying about nothing. I don't want to vandalize it..."

"If you know how to lockpick, you can do that too," Miho said. "I'll see if I find one."

She looked into the kitchen. She found, effectively, a car key. But was it the right one? And what did Kinuyo really want to do with the car? Neither of them was old enough nor knew how to drive... it was decidedly strange. She hoped her lover didn't intend to crush her or the dog with the car, or to do dangerous things. She was always scared Kinuyo would go bad from the pain.

Kinuyo went closer, her deep brown eyes looking gentle, and took her hand.

"We have the keys, that's it... we'll wait for the light to go down, it's still too hot to do it here now."

"But what do you intend to do?" Miho questioned, confused.

Kinuyo had a very revealing smile, then whispered in her ear:

"A little curiosity... after all, you see that in books and movies... why couldn't we try it? Fiction is based on reality, usually... and if it doesn't work, we still have a room, a sofa, a bathtub, a closet, there is a multitude of possibilities for this kind of curiosity."

Miho suddenly understood what Kinuyo was talking about. She felt impatient and intensely loving. It was true that doing these things in a car's scorching heat wouldn't be comfortable at all...

"What's for dinner?" the brunette asked. "Have you chosen yet?"

"We should eat the rest of the jar of rice, and since we will have plenty of time to look for food, I suggest that we cook an improvised curry with the pork and beans cans," Miho suggested. "I found some roux in the closets."

"Great idea."

Kinuyo went to take the small saucepan and filled it with water, then began to heat the electric plates. Miho stayed beside her. Dogmeat was staring at them from afar. He looked so much like Alice when he did that. When everything was ready, they sat at the table and started eating.

"So, do you like it?" Miho questioned. "I find it pretty good."

"Very good, even more compared to our usual bland rations. For once, we can make a real dish", Kinuyo said with a smile. "I wonder if we will discover new post-apocalyptic recipes. Maho must know more than we do, no doubt about this."

"I don't really know how she survives, canned food is probably gone since long for her, perhaps she's stealing like we do, or she's eating mutant animal meat or mutant vegetables, so much has changed," Miho replied. "Speaking of Maho, curry is her favourite food... it reminds me so much. of her Every time we were having curry for lunch or dinner, she went crazy."

"All the means are good to survive, finally. I wonder about the taste... has it changed? Does radiation have a taste? I heard that the Milky Way had a taste of raspberry and a smell of rum. We should invent the galactic cake, at this rate..."

Miho stifled a laugh, swallowed to avoid choking, then resumed:

"Rum-raspberry," she laughed. "If radiation tastes like raspberry too, it will feel horrible to eat meat... I don't think this fits together. It seems to me that it's tasting like metal... it must explain why from time to time we have an iron-like mouth."

"Oh, it would come from there? As long as we're not getting ill... it doesn't matter if we have an iron taste. In addition, it's not permanently."

"Tamada told me she had a metallic taste in her mouth, but it was perhaps because she bled from her gums. Blood really tastes like iron."

"Possibly both," replied the brunette. "Both radiation and blood..."

They finished eating their meal, washed the dishes and went to sit on the sofa. Miho let Kinuyo lie on her and closed her eyes. The couple listened to the silence for some time. There was nothing around, just the two of them and Dogmeat in this house emptied of its population, feeling the dust and an... unknown scent, impossible to describe. The smells were never the same from one house to another. Fortunately, they hadn't yet gone to a house where a person with questionable hygiene lived.

Miho felt Kinuyo kissing her neck, like she appreciated so much. A warm breath, very delicate kisses, and a deep sense of well-being. She kept her eyes closed and let her reach her lips. Miho knew exactly what was going to happen and became even more impatient. Her body itself had a sensation of warmth that was rising from one of its most sensitive and secret points. She knew she was sweating slightly. She was shivering in love fever. Kinuyo knew exactly how to please her. Miho put a hand on her lover's lower back and relaxed completely. Her breathing became deeper and no words were coming out. Neither of them, in any case, was of the kind of person to talk during love.

Kinuyo took her hand and gently caressed her face. Miho opened her eyes and stared into hers. As each time, those doe eyes shone and dove deeply into her soul. These pupils always made her shiver with emotion. It was so strange to remind herself that under such tenderness could lay a ravaging anger. The long-haired got up, then went to get the car keys. Dogmeat was watching them with interest. Miho already felt cold turkey after a few seconds. Unable to resist, she pinned Kinuyo to the wall and kissed her passionately again. She slipped a hand under her top and grabbed her breasts, massaging them, wishing only to make her even more aroused. The brunette, who was quicker to vocalise, uttered a little moan from it. Miho blew lightly on her lips before kissing them again, intensifying her caresses.

Kinuyo moved towards the entrance and went outside, followed by the short-haired girl, opened the car and lowered the front seats to leave the rear seats free. It was a tiny car, there wouldn't be a lot of room, but it was going to be a very interesting experience.

She laid down and let Miho sit over her. The redhead removed her top, revealing her bra, and left the door open. After all, in a little town like this, no one would come to do some voyeurism, except perhaps Dogmeat. But was getting busy in front of a dog such a big deal? Kinuyo undressed as well. The clothes ended up on the front seats. The redhead, completely naked, remained on the brunette, whose back was leaning against the car door.

"Well, it's not going to be easy, but we're going to have a good time," she whispered with a little laugh. "Who would have thought that one day we would use a car for this kind of stuff?"

"Yes, it's true," Kinuyo laughed. "And let's say it... it's always fun to try! Even if our muscles will be quite sore tomorrow... it will always remain a good time in our memories."

Miho smiled and stroked her dark hair. She descended to the bottom of her stomach and started lightly touching the inside of her thighs. There was a good amount of liquid already down there. Kinuyo was quicker than her to get aroused. Maybe her slight tendencies to think too much about future actions and to have trouble getting in the present were kicking in... but she still had this immense charm. Her awkwardness was one of her characteristics Miho found most adorable.

She carried on kissing the lower part of her stomach. Her beloved crossed her legs on the top of her back as she slowly descended to give her the pleasure they both enjoyed a lot.

Miho started using her tongue down there. This sweet, intimate body part had no particular taste. It was flesh, but delicate flesh. A loving piece of flesh. There was the vibration of a soul in it. Miho had never felt such pleasure in tasting a body part, but the brunette's little groans of pleasure were a melody for her ears. She continued to gently stroke it with her tongue, all around this cute little hooded creature, stopping sometimes to tease her, resuming, hearing her moaning over and over.

Kinuyo put a hand on the top of her hair, wanting to feel even more their abstract connection. Miho wanted to please her until she could no longer take it. At the same time, she was enjoying this strategic point and she rubbed the top of her body against the seat, feeling the fabric caressing her breasts.

And it was only a few seconds later that she felt her lover trembling, tensing completely, and uttering a powerful, loving cry as she was climaxing. Miho continued her caresses. The screams intensified. Kinuyo wasn't screaming a name, she was incapable of speaking under the effect of pleasure, only capable of uttering cries of emotion and sensations that overwhelmed her.

Miho laid down on Kinuyo, who was still shivering from pleasure, and kissed her lovingly.

"You've come already?" she said softly.

"It's when the sensation is short that I cherish it the most," murmured the brunette, her eyes shining. "It's so intense..."

It was always a wonderful moment. She loved to hear her screaming for more. Feeling her trembling with arousal. She caressed her dark brown hair, happy again and again to have found her, and thanking her internally for being there. Without her, Miho would have become mad from solitude. Even Dogmeat wouldn't have been enough, probably.

The ginger stroked her hand and told her to turn so that they'd be laying face to face on the rear seat. The brunette did it, seeming to understand what was to come. Miho rubbed her own crotch on her partner's thigh. She kissed her breasts lovingly and embraced her warmly. At this moment, the redhead wondered if it wouldn't be more interesting later on to use something more, like a vibrator or something vaguely phallic. There would be more possibilities, but she had to enjoy the present moment.

Miho felt the sensations more and more. First of all this pleasure of rubbing her most intimate parts on these beloved thighs, but also those hot kisses on the chest. Irresistible. She asked Kinuyo to squeeze her harder and put even more energy into pleasuring herself. The brunette started, when she knew it was the right time, to nibble her neck. Explosion. Miho didn't utter a cry as loudly, but her body twitched so much that it was almost numb. In fact, the cry was delayed. When she relaxed, her voice came out. She squeezed Kinuyo even more strongly, sticking her nails in the skin of her back. Gentle kisses followed her trip to cloud nine. It was feeling amazing.

Such a moment had greatly tired them. After about 20 minutes of sitting on the back seat, they dressed and went out of the car. Miho started laughing when she saw what was right in front of her.

"Look, seems someone's a little voyeur", she chuckled.

Kinuyo went out of the car too. Dogmeat was sitting there, wagging his tail, interested.

"Oh, Dogmeat!" the brunette giggled. "It's not for dogs!"

"He's such a cute one", Miho said. "He would have protected us if anything went wrong."

"He got an eyeful, at least", Kinuyo laughed, approaching the dog to give him pats on the head. "I guess he had a good time too."

"Let's go back inside now", the short-haired said. "Straight to bed."

The couple allowed him to sleep with them tonight. After all, it wasn't because they had stopped for several days in the same town that he would end up alone.

And what about the next day? Miho hoped Kinuyo hadn't said the truth when she was talking about sore muscles... even if it was very likely they'd be sore!


	45. Chapter 44

**Author's note: Finally done! I had a bit of writer's block, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken so long. I just hope you're not mad at me for this. How are you going? It's been quite some time. I hope you're all feeling well and happy. :3  
I hope Chapter 45 won't take as long. Gah... can't stand taking so long to release a chapter.**

 **Enjoy this one!**

* * *

 _"Long ago and far away,_  
 _I dreamed a dream one day_  
 _And now that dream is here beside me"_

 _\- Jo Stafford_

* * *

 _The hallways of Chihatan's dorm. Kinuyo knew them very well. In this hallway, she had her room at the very end, between two other doors. It was dark. Why had she come back there? Was all this apocalypse only a dream?_

 _It felt even stranger to be in the hallways at this hour. Judging by the position of the moon outside, it was about three o'clock in the morning. Kinuyo glanced at the clock. It didn't indicate any time. There was simply no hand on it and the dial was broken, as if someone had punched it. It seemed to melt while it wasn't even made of plastic. It was made of porcelain. It gradually became longer and longer, then seemed to become liquid, and fell to the ground by drops which disappeared in the carpet, like water dripping from the ceiling. It was really... odd to see. Surreal, even._

 _Kinuyo walked forward and opened the door of her room. Same sight. Everything led to this hallway. But the scenery had changed. The clock was gone._  
 _There were yellow duck head plushes, just like the balloons they had put on the tanks during the match against University. Plenty of little yellow ducks. There was a small lamp, also duck-shaped, on a table at the end of the corridor. On the walls, there was a lot of small posters. Marks on assignments. Good ones and bad ones. All were bearing the same name; Natsu Fukuda, first year student in Chihatan._  
 _A photo of the Type 95 Ha-Go between two parts of schoolwork. Despite the cute atmosphere of the hallway, Kinuyo felt a disturbing feeling. As if someone looked down upon her. There was no one else, but there was this feeling of being alone against everyone._  
 _A picture of her and Fukuda on the wall, hugging like two sisters. Only this little thing could give her a smile and make her feel protected... until suddenly, the duck-shaped lamp exploded right next to her, causing her to jump. A deep emotion passed through her. Anger. Lack of understanding. A feeling of betrayal. Most likely what Fukuda must have felt... or what she imagined she was feeling. She rushed to her own room's door and opened it._

 _A Geiger counter was clicking in the hallway now. "Tick-ticky-ticky-tick-ticky", that characteristc sound. Was the room radioactive? Yet there was no counter here. Only its sound was heard. White ribbons hung from the doors. Kinuyo sensed a particular odor. She knew this smell very well. A scent that resembled some sort of mix between flowers and that scent that came when one accidentally burned their skin. Voices were echoing in the hallway. Their last conversation... before the end. Just after Miho, overwhelmed by emotions, hid to cry._

 _"Tamada, please..."_

 _"I'll always be by your side... don't worry... as I said... it'll be okay..."_

 _"But you're all I have left, you don't realize... you don't realize I'll never be able to get fully over it."_

 _"Oh yes, I realize it... and I don't regret having you for my last moments... because I'm lucky to have my best friend by my side. Not everyone was as lucky..."_

 _"...Haru, I will keep your ashes and I promise never to lose them, I promise."_

 _"I know you'll keep your promise... you've always kept them."_

 _Kinuyo felt her throat seizing up. It was at this moment that Tamada, too weak to keep on living, had gone silent. She was staring into space, her laboured breathing and her heart began to slow down... finally to fade forever a minute later. She felt in her own body the moment she felt the last beat in her friend's left wrist. The Geiger counter clicked louder. She pushed her door, trying not to cry._

 _A strange sensation ran through her. She felt as though she was slightly smaller and had changed hairstyles. The features of her face and body felt changed. As if her whole body was the same as... Maki Hosomi, her multi-faceted friend. The one who was at the same time the nicest, the funniest, but also the most jealous and resentful. A profound desire took her from the depths of her entrails, coupled with indescribable anger, passing from rage to tears inwardly.  
On the walls, pictures of Hosomi and Tamada were hung. A whoopie cushion. The fake eyeball she liked to hide in her hair to trick people._  
 _Three lamps were placed at the end of the hallway; Two of them seem turned off, and while the one in the middle was definitely darkened, the one to the left still faintly glowed. The one still shining on the right was weak as well.  
The pages of Hosomi's diary fell from the ceiling. They were stained with blood. Animal hair stuck on it. An horrid, putrid stench filled the room. The scent of rotten flesh. The smell was so strong Kinuyo had to refrain herself from fainting. It was pretty much the same odor as after Alice's death, though much stronger and rancid. Decomposing human remains and blood.  
At the moment when she hastened to push the door, the three lights exploded._

 _Beeps were sounding in the hallway, just like EKGs. That infamous disinfectant smell. That was really... stressful.  
Kinuyo didn't particularly like hospitals and had only been there a few times for examinations. She had never been sick or hurt enough to be hospitalized, but she recognized the place. It was exactly the same corridor as at the Chiba University Hospital, in which she had visited one of her fellow tankers... Misae Nagura.  
On the wall, there were examination forms. Misae had undergone two surgeries in her life. Tonsillitis at age 4. Burst appendix at age 13. She had pneumonia twice, once at age 10 and the last one at 15 that almost killed her. Hypotension. Asthma. Lots of medicine packagings. Pills everywhere. And that terrible smell of hand sanitize.  
The brunette felt something off with her body. As if her own blood pressure dropped. Probably how Nagura felt all the time.  
A picture of Hamada, however, fell from the ceiling. One where she held a big bouquet of red roses. The one she had brought to the hospital just before Kinuyo came to visit. They had been dating for almost a year. Kinuyo had seen them more than once together, and honestly thought them as a very cute couple. They weren't showing it everywhere, but it could be felt that they loved each other just as she loved Miho. Their voices echoed through the walls._

 _"If I were to get deadly sick... would you do anything to take care of me?"_

 _"Yes, it doesn't matter if you have something contagious... I would take this risk... I don't want you to let you go."_

 _"If my health were to fail me for the last time... would you always be by my side, until I'd go?"_

 _"I can't stand the idea of you dying alone, my Misae... I'll stay until the end."_

 _A death certificate fell at her feet. Misae Nagura had passed away on July 16, in Vault 64, in this scarily silent place. Septic shock from an infected wound._

 _Kinuyo pushed her door. The feeling of faintness had faded. The same bouquet of roses as on the picture sat on a pretty little table at the end of the corridor. A deep sensation of softness invaded the atmosphere. After all, Shizuka Hamada, whose picture was hung all over the walls, many of them with Nagura, was a very sweet and kind person. This sweetness had something melancholic about it. Or... pessimistic. After all, she hadn't had any good feelings about surviving in the vault. For her, all the supplies would be consumed before they'd be able to get out safely._  
 _The atmosphere was almost less heavy than elsewhere. There was no noise, just silence, like a silence that one would have kept to only let beautiful words come out.  
_  
 _Until a sound was heard. A terrible sound. Kinuyo remembered it as if it were yesterday._  
 _That fatal blow. The truncheon slapping her skin. The sound of her cervical vertebrae that broke from the shock. Hamada died instantly, but her head had kept a bizarre angle. A terrible picture fell before Kinuyo's eyes. A photograph of Shizuka's neck. Kinuyo had a dry retch. One could easily see where it had snapped. It was a vision of horror. And the more she was advancing, the more the feeling of guilt was overwhelming her. That feeling of not having done the right thing. She couldn't have done anything anyway, but blamed herself for not having intervened.  
She hurried to her door, wanting to escape this feeling._

 _The hallway looked totally different. One side was illuminated, the other was plunged into the dark. Perhaps a representation of Mitsuko Ikeda's mind. Even the walls were two-coloured. Black on the illuminated side, white on the shaded side. A white checkerboard on the black side, a black checkerboard on the white side. A strange bipolarity. Kinuyo tried to see how each side felt. On the shady side, she felt deeply depressed and had only one desire: sleeping, sleeping until never waking up, even in reality. A bit of conversation came back to her mind. They were in first year. Ikeda was at her worst. That was when they were the closest._

 _"Nishi-san... no one has ever believed in me, and... you can't know how I want to leave this school... look, my grades are terrible again... what will they say to my parents? I feel like such a dunce..."_

 _"Ikeda-san... I'm going to help you. What subjects do you need help in? I have some things on hand."_

 _"You're a good student and you're destined to success... I don't even know how to do anything other than listening in class, I'm stupid and you're the only one who still wants me."_

 _"I want you to be fine... I don't want to see my friends in such a bad state... I've seen and felt too much sadness already. Come here, Ikeda... it'll be fine."_

 _She had hugged her just afterwards, only wanting one thing: to comfort her._

 _But when she set her foot in the light, everything changed: she felt an intense need to jump out of the window, not to commit suicide, but on an impulse. She wanted to fly. An indescribable joy took over her. A feeling of being able to do anything. A conversation they had had before growing more distant came back and echoed._

 _"Ikeda, do you think it's really a good idea? I'm not sure you should-..."_

 _"I know better than you what I can do or not, you're not the one who controls my life, it's MY life!"_

 _"I'm not talking about living your life, but-..."_

 _"I know EXACTLY what I do! Stop being so sensitive and fearful, you won't understand anyway, you're too much of a normal person!"_

 _"Ikeda... I don't want you to get in trouble... I'd rather advise you to-"_

 _"I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP, BITCH! DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND?!"_

 _At that moment, Mitsuko had pushed her violently, sending her against a wall, and had started to lockpick the school's doors, wishing at all costs to know what would be in the next exam. Kinuyo felt the pain again in her back and in the back of the head. It was after this last manic episode that she had started to distance herself. She had followed her, first to make sure nothing would happen to her, then to try to stop her, but had only managed to get bruises and back pain for two weeks. And a little later, she had learned that Ikeda had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which explained this... strange attitude, her mood swings, those few weeks when she was at the worst to finally come back to a... hyperactive, often very aggressive state that lasted for weeks, then she'd fall back into a terrible depression... this disorder that had led her to commit suicide in Vault 64, on August 3. She had thrown herself from the higher floor of the vault in a fit of mania, apparently believing that she was indestructible._

 _She pushed the door open again. Ikumi Teramoto's love of photography was everywhere. Photographs everywhere. Developer bath bottles. The camera, a Voigtländer Bergheil Deluxe, was on the small table at the bottom where Hamada's roses used to be.  
Kinuyo remembered times when Ikumi wanted to take a picture of her right away, not giving her enough time to prepare. She hated to be photographed without warning, but had never said anything. Her fellow didn't have bad intentions, after all..._  
 _except when she noticed strange pictures on the wall. There were, especially, pictures of Hamada and Nagura... having a bit of how's your father in Nagura's room, taken from a window. There were two pictures of Reiko Kubota's dead, hung body, two of Kinuyo completely naked before a shower, self-portraits with Hosomi, the picture of Hamada's death, another of Nagura in the clinic when her life was about to end, battle photos that were taken before the apocalypse...  
Kinuyo felt violated. She would never have thought that Ikumi Teramoto, someone so adorable, could be like that. There was an unhealthy curiosity in these photos. Yeah, Ikumi was probably not ill-intentioned... but clearly had voyeurism issues. One last picture fell from the ceiling. Teramoto and Fukuda were sitting on the latter's bed in the vault. They were likely the last survivors of their small group._

 _The last room was weird. Kinuyo saw a frame hidden by a white sheet at the end of the hallway, but something prevented her from walking forward.  
A blanket of golden flowers covered the floor. The same ones as the barely alive little flower she had given to her Miho as a gift. It wasn't the flowers that prevented her from advancing... but the same feeling of dread that took her when she tried to approach the station while Alice was being raped. An almost paralyzing fear, which made her guts wrench as soon as she sought to see what was hidden under this white sheet.  
Sakura petals, Miho's favourite flowers, fell from the ceiling and gave birth to more golden flowers. The handless clock was back, but no longer melted. A picture of Tsuji-san appeared among the petals. Tsutsuji was in a vault and seemed to be faring well, despite her very tired look. There was no way of knowing what experimentation she was undergoing and where she was, but the brunette felt relieved. At least, her friend was fine._

 _Kinuyo summoned her courage to walk towards the frame, her heart pounding wildly in her chest. She took off the sheet and saw the painting under it._  
 _It was a portrait of a corpse that resembled her, but she still had a hard time recognizing herself. Her hair wasn't as long as hers, it was cut a small bit above the shoulders, but she had the same half-bangs. This girl seemed to be asleep, holding a few golden flowers, and her hands were resting on her stomach. Another arm was entwined with hers: Kinuyo could recognize this arm. Her complexion was very pale... but what shocked her was the wound on her belly. A deep gash in her stomach, as if she was stabbed, had stained her tank top of a brownish red, a red as the ink with which she had unwittingly written the three names. Hers, Miho's, and Alice's. She looked... bloodless. Was she murdered? Or had she...?_

 _The eyes of the body opened, revealing an intense, piercing blue light, cold as a hailstorm, and seemed to judge her. Insult her. Attack her. Stare through her body and soul.  
The flowers faded and the body decomposed in a frightful way. It started taking an infamous greenish tint. It swelled little by little. The purplish, swollen tongue, was sticking out from her receding lips, the eyes opened widely again, and the skin burst in several places, releasing brownish, disgusting fluids. Her mouth opened widely, seeming to laugh at her, making fun of her with this horrid laugh of death, and putrid snaps were heard from the inside. The internal membranes were bursting, releasing their fluids. Maggots started devouring her remains; it was at this point that Kinuyo noticed that the background wasn't a wall... but dirt. The skeleton, including that of the arm entwined with the body's, appeared little by little, only to be the last presence in the painting._

 _On the frame, a small silver plate._  
 _"_ _二死_  
 _K. Nishi (199X-201X)"_

 _Everything seemed to be suddenly destroyed by a deafening noise._

* * *

Kinuyo and Miho barely moved their body that they felt their muscles hurting. The aches and pains of the day before. At the same time, what could they expect after some hanky panky in a car? A kei car, in addition? It made them laugh despite the pain. It wasn't that bad. After all, they had had fun, and they now knew what it was like to get it on in a car. It was going to pass in a few days, but the muscle pains were there.

"Hey, have you ever dreamed of something without being able to put your finger on it? Like, you know you've dreamed, but you don't remember about what it was?"

"Yeah, why?" Miho said, a bit surprised.

"I dreamed of something strange, but I only remember the hallway of my dorm in Chihatan... it was dark and time didn't exist. It was really strange. A timeless and dark place."

"Maybe you've had such a dreadful or bizarre dream that your brain is protecting itself?" the ginger assumed. "Sometimes I dream of my trauma and I know it, but I can't remember it."

"Problem is... I wasn't traumatized before the apocalypse, that's what worries me. Even Ikeda and Tsuji-san didn't manage to give me such memories, and yet... they could have!"

"Try not to think about it, okay?" said Miho. "You don't need to overthink that much."

"Hm, I'll try," Kinuyo murmured.

A bark pulled them from their bed. Dogmeat was hungry and asked for food. This gave them the impetus to get up. After all, they would still be there for two days before crossing the Seto Inland Sea. But even when they wanted to have a lie in, they had to feed the dog. He was a precious companion. And it would be despicable to let him starve.

Miho went down first. Kinuyo spent a few more minutes in the room, thinking back to her dream of that night. Why did she have so much trouble remembering it? It was very weird. Either it was so violent that she had forgotten it, or maybe it meant absolutely nothing, and her memory hadn't recorded it. Miho called from downstairs. She came down a little later, her mind a little troubled by her questions.

Biscuits. A basic but efficient breakfast. It wouldn't be the same as before, but it was enough. Miho looked a little pensive, but not too much either. Everything would be forgotten when they'd be in the streets of Shunan, either having fun or looking around, after all. Kinuyo, reluctantly, bit in one of the biscuits. They were four months old at least and tasted like cardboard, but what more could she ask for? She could already calm her hunger, no matter how not tasty these biscuits were. Even if there had been worms in it, she would have eaten something. Starving herself would have been too much. She was a big eater and overindulged in food sometimes, and the sensation of being hungry quickly made her stressed.

Even after a very bland breakfast, the brunette felt better. Perhaps her dream of that night involved food? It was perhaps hunger and aches that had made her brain do something odd. Everything was possible anyway. It didn't help much to try to remember it, because the more she was digging in her memory, the less she could remember. She would stick to the sight of Chihatan's dorm hallways.

"Are you ready? We're going to take a little walk together", Miho said, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"I'm coming," Kinuyo replied with a warm smile.

She got up from the chair and glanced quickly at the room, then decided to close the shutters and blinds, just to be sure. Miho was a little surprised, but just watched her, saying nothing. Kinuyo joined her, then Dogmeat followed them. They closed the door and started walking through the empty streets of Shunan. The mere fact of passing by the side of the car in which they had made love the evening before was enough to make them laugh. What a curious idea they had had. They wouldn't forget it anytime soon!

Going down the street that passed by their house, there was a small park on the right. Swings on which no more children would swing. Kinuyo felt an emotion going right up her throat. Stolen innocence... what would be the next generation? Children of the Apocalypse? The radioactive generation? The new stolen generation? The Vault Children? Or... the nameless ones? It was something to wonder about... because the problem would also arise very quickly. Would this generation be recorded? Telecommunications were probably all dead anyway.

The two girls continued straight ahead. There was no noise. The silence was very relaxing. Dogmeat trotted beside them. He was looking around too and sticking out his long pink tongue. Without the weight of the bag, everything was much easier. Kinuyo realized how she likely had the back muscles destroyed by the weight, even if it was slightly less heavy. She felt that her back was fully tense. As if her muscles never relaxed. It was probably because of always having something on it. Her shoulders were feeling strange. Still, she didn't want to overload Miho. The suitcase would end up being too heavy at some point. That was why she never said anything. She didn't even listen to her body anymore. Bring Miho back to her sister, and then listen to her body. Dogmeat threw a glance at her. He seemed to be wondering about what would happen too. With her free hand, the other holding that of her girlfriend, Kinuyo touched his little ears.

The Ryokuchi Park, not far away from the house, was huge. Even after a nuclear apocalypse, it remained magnificent. The couple went there. Only the sound of the leaves managed to break the silence. The vegetation had somewhat yellowed in places and the weeds invaded the lawns, but it was still superb. Flowers were blooming, adding shades of white, red, violet, blue, yellow, orange, to all the green that surrounded them. Just like some kind of painting. One could see how much work had been put in to make it all beautiful.

Miho sat down on the grass, in the shadow of a linden tree. Kinuyo remained standing, watching the sun through the foliage. She glanced at it and then joined her dear, falling on her knees.

"What more could you want?" she said. "We have a beautiful place, no one to prevent us from living our lives, and the company of each other, without forgetting our Dogmeat."

"I miss Alice..." Miho sighed. "It would be so much better if she were there..."

Kinuyo suddenly felt like a mean person. She had ignored the loss of Alice. But she wanted to be satisfied with what she had... why, in the end, think back about it and feel bad? It was necessary to keep a positive attitude to find Maho and... their roles had ended up being reversed. It was Miho who had taken care of her after Tamada's death, and now it was her who helped her Miho and who became as blindly optimistic as she used to be. Afraid of saying something stupid, she went silent and nestled more comfortably in Miho's crossed legs.

"But it's true that we still have many beautiful things," replied the redhead. "Just... I can't imagine that she won't ever get to live it..."

Dogmeat, probably feeling the sadness coming from Miho, approached her and nuzzled on her shoulder. She smiled. Kinuyo felt her heart warming, and it came only from one thing; seeing Miho smile, even when she felt sad. It was enough to cheer her up. It was for this reason that everyday, she swore she'd never weep before the eyes of her beloved. In her mind, it was the worst thing to worry her or make her sad. If she felt she'd snap, she would go away, and come back a few minutes later. But for now, nothing bad. Just the beauty of the environment, the warmth of the one she loved, and the company of Dogmeat. She asked for nothing else. Not even... Alice's presence.

'You know, there may be things that she'd better miss, because if something really horrifying were to happen, better keep her safe from it..."

"You're right, but she's gone forever," the ginger murmured. "Forever..."

"Yes, she's there," said the brunette, closing her eyes. "She may even be behind you, or beside you, or elsewhere, with her mother, or God knows where."

Kinuyo felt Miho turning her head around. Apparently there was no one, because she turned around again and stroked her head. The brunette didn't really feel a presence either. In fact, at that moment, she couldn't care less about whether there was some ghost around or not. All that counted was Miho, the sound of the wind, and the dog. For once, she was enjoying the present.

The sun caressing her body almost could make her fall asleep. It wasn't directly beating down, it was mostly through the foliage, just enough for it to be bearable. The simple fact of being on Miho helped a lot as well. Dogmeat, by her side, looked around and was panting, swinging his pink tongue. Kinuyo had rarely been able to fall asleep at any place, unable to close her eyes if she wasn't totally comfortable. Whenever she slept in someone else's room in Chihatan, except perhaps Tamada and Tsuji-san, she spent a sleepless night and found herself with an excruciating morning headache, or just completely exhausted. The worst part was the snoring. Ikeda was a master in the art of snoring like a freight train, and that didn't help her at all. Nagura also snored sometimes, but it was probably due to her health. But with Miho, it was different. No matter where, she would always fall asleep like a little kitten on her lap.

Her beloved ginger-haired partner gave her a pat on the shoulder, thinking she was asleep.

"Get up? We shall come home before the sun goes down."

Kinuyo smiled and didn't open her eyes.

"I'm not moving", she said in a mischievous tone.

She felt Miho playing along. Even with her eyes closed, she felt her lover's state, movements and feelings. She laughed and tried to push the brunette.

"Go ahead, try it," chuckled the brunette, determined to remain motionless. "Try and see what happens."

The redhead tried to get up, but Kinuyo was holding on firmly. She wouldn't let it go. When Miho tried to push her, she lifted her head suddenly, widely opened her eyes and stared into hers with a big grin on her face. Miho almost jumped. It was likely she looked like a madwoman.

"Wow! You know how to do a creepy face!" she laughed. "I had never seen this one!"

"I have plenty of little things stored in my mind", Kinuyo giggled. "It's not the last one you'll see..."

She rapidly jumped on Miho's neck, trying to push her on the ground. The short-haired girl neutralized her with a technique of her own: a little kiss on the cheek. Kinuyo couldn't resist it. She let go of Miho and helped her getting up, then took her hand. She kissed her back, feeling all fluttery inside. The dog barked happily and jumped around them.

"So, let's go back home?" she asked.

"Of course", Miho replied.

The couple went back to the house, accompanied by the wind singing in the leaves. It would be their last night before leaving Shunan.


	46. Chapter 45

**Author's note: Sorry for taking so long, it's here! It should have been out earlier, but unfortunately I caught that damned 24-hour noro last Monday and was tired for the whole week. But I'm feeling okay now, and the big baby is here! I've kinda had writer's block as well. I'll just hope it will pass...  
And I'm sure you'll love this chapter. They're getting closer and closer!**

 **Enjoy this one!**

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 _"And the wayward wind is a restless wind_  
 _A restless wind that yearns to wander"_  
 _\- Gogi Grant_

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 **PART 6 : KYUSHU**

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Miho felt the daylight passing through her eyelids. It was the day of the crossing. Finally, they would be able to head for Kyushu. They would miss Shunan a bit, but they had waited for so long to cross the sea. She smiled. Kinuyo, by her side, was still asleep. Still in the same position. While Miho was the kind of person to be agitated and to roll around in bed, she was always amused to see that her lover was moving so little. An almost fetal position. Often on the right side, not much on the left. At the same time, Miho didn't really appreciate that side either. Most of the time, she was laying slightly on her stomach, in the same type of position, but tended to stick with laying on her right side. It was the small detail that served no purpose other than make her smile.

She remained in bed, looking at the ceiling, thinking of the sea journey that awaited them. Forty kilometers on the Seto Inland Sea. It was huge. The equivalent of a day's walk. Yet, in a motorized boat, it would take at most an hour and half. Maybe even less! But after this crossing, they wouldn't walk more and take rest. In any case, they came closer and closer to Maho. Kyushu was only forty kilometers away. The distance covered was getting even bigger.

Dogmeat, at their bedside, slept soundly. He was on the same side as Miho. His position caused her to choke a little laugh. He was laying on his back, his body curled to the left and his legs folded on his little dog tummy. Alice would have laughed and said _"Oh, Dogmeat, you look so silly"_. The ginger tried to get her late friend out of her head, but couldn't. Everything reminded her of Alice. Her loss was unbearable.  
She wondered how Kinuyo had managed to move on after losing Tamada and Hosomi. Maybe she didn't have actual emotions and was faking it all? Miho was almost mad at her because of that. She looked at her girlfriend, who was still asleep. In a fit of jealousy, she wanted to insult her. Tell her how tired she was of not being able to recover from Alice's death. Hit her. Smothering her in her sleep with the pillow she had under her hand. Getting her nerves on something. Yet it wasn't Kinuyo's fault, it would be unfair to start brutalizing her, and if she decided to defend herself, especially in a fit of fear, the consequences could be dramatic. Kinuyo didn't want to hurt anyone, but when her violent side was triggered, it could get terrible.  
Miho took a deep breath and laid down beside her again, feeling guilty for thinking of such things, and putting a hand on her waist that rose steadily before going down again. It was only morning's bad mood...  
Kinuyo didn't move, as if sleep was so deep that her body was completely paralyzed. Even though she knew very well that she was alive and healthy, Miho was always afraid that she would never wake up. As if sleep could one day take her life and never return it.

In fact, it was only a matter of minutes. Kinuyo started moving again. Miho gently stroked her head. The brunette nestled against her. The short-haired girl let out a sigh of relief. One more night survived. One more night without losing her. She had her Kinuyo, Dogmeat, and the ashes of Alice and Tamada. And soon, Maho... soon the crossing would bring her even closer.

"Today's the D-day, huh?" the long-haired girl said, smiling at her.

"Yeah... Soon we'll be able to see her..."

"It's the final countdown," Kinuyo said, getting up. "Maho is no more far away... do you realize this? We left the prefecture of Tochigi together... to finally end up in Kyushu... Do you realize the distance we covered? We have already done a good part of it. We mustn't lose hope."

"Yes, it's very impressive," Miho replied. "It's like a dream..."

"Is this dream truly a dream, if it's occuring in reality?"

"Actually I don't know how to answer your question", whispered the redhead, her eyes shining like stars. "I can't say anything... it puts me in such a state that I can't tell you if I really believe it..."

"Yet we are going to see it", she replied warmly. "We're going to Kyushu."

Kinuyo, even if she could not do much, managed to give her hope again. Miho was feeling worse and worse, but still wanted to believe, because she had her loved one and her dog by her side, and because she did it for Maho.  
Dogmeat climbed onto the bed and looked at her straight in the eyes. It's like he was saying _"Run after your dreams, Miho!"_. He was such a good dog. Without his support, what would they have become? What would Alice have become? Miho noticed she was still bringing everything back to the little girl. It was the mourning part... that part of her life that she'd overcome one day.

They both went downstairs. For the last time, they woke up on Honshu. Tonight, they would fall asleep in Kyushu. It was the last time, no doubt, that they would see the streets of Shunan, unless they decided to go back there. But as Miho still hesitated to come back one day to look for her friends and Kinuyo had nothing on her side anymore, it would probably be the last time. It was the end of their life in Honshu. A symbolic death, to be reborn in the island where was Miho's home... Miho and Kinuyo's home.

After a quick but consistent breakfast to concentrate well during their trip at sea, and once they had made sure they got everything back, Miho, Kinuyo and Dogmeat came out of the house, leaving it without turning around. Even the dog didn't look behind him. The past was gone. Gone far away. The future was right before their eyes, emerging as a work of art full of vivid nuances. The dull spots disappeared behind the fresh paint. Everything was being repainted under their eyes.

The streets of Shunan seemed to be a purgatory. As if they were leaving behind their suffering and hardest moments, to reach heaven for eternal peace. These bad things they had gathered would stay in Honshu, the island who was the most wounded by the terrifying sisters. Even if the third had crashed on Kyushu, it would be far from Kumamoto. Miho didn't forget the glowing sea they had seen from this small hill in Kaminakaichi, the crater that was still spreading this beautiful glow ninety kilometers away from them. She would never forget this sea that illuminated the landscape from its accursed place. This radioactive hole and the danger that was taunting her. She was going to spend an hour on the sea, but it was better than going there and suffering like Tamada did, but in a probably much worse way.

Near the coast, as they turned to go straight and reach Tokuyama Port farther away, Miho turned her head. The factories invaded the coast. Shunan Industrial Complex was one of the oldest in Japan. The redhead wondered for a moment how many factories could be on this coast. Tokuyama Port wasn't far away, but there was still a little way to go. Miho turned her head back to Kinuyo. Her lover said nothing, but one could feel the questions in her dark eyes.  
Dogmeat, by their side, didn't stop for a second, except in case of a need to go. He seemed curious, too. Industrialization wasn't something he was able to understand, but he certainly wondered what those large buildings were. These huge chimneys. These colossal cisterns. These territories filled with strange structures. It was to be believed that nature no longer existed in Shunan. Only the sea knew how to remind them that they were still on a planet where there were still elements that weren't man-made and that humans would never master.  
The wind was blowing. Miho noticed that Kinuyo kept holding her hair and looked vaguely annoyed. She regretted not having anything to tie it up, because there was nothing worse than having one's hair right in the face in windy weather.

Finally, they were at Tokuyama Port. It owed its name to the little island a little further. It was indeed that small island that was staring at them, as if to say _"Take a boat and go to Kyushu"_!

Miho let herself be guided by her instinct. A cabin cruiser was the one she chose. She suddenly had a doubt. Alice had seasickness... but what about Kinuyo? And Dogmeat? Miho didn't want to clean up the results... she would already have to learn the basics of driving a boat in a very short time.

"Do you think this one will be fine?" the brunette said.

"I think so", the redhead replied. "But I have a question, are you seasick? I don't remember if you've told me..."

"No, it only happened once, and I was stressed and already sick, so it wasn't really related. On the other hand, for Dogmeat, let's hope it will be fine for him."

"Ah, that reassures me," murmured Miho. "Alice was horribly seasick, to the point she had to lay down with a bucket beside her... When she visited me after we saved my school, she came on a stretcher..."

"As long as your boat isn't drunken, I'm sure I'll be fine," Kinuyo finished with a smile. "Do you think you'll be able to drive it? I don't want to send us straight to the bottom of the sea..."

"I'll do my best," replied the redhead. "It shouldn't be more complicated than driving a tank... I think. You'll be here to help me with the manual."

"Thank God that for once I'm useful, usually I'm just good at making you feel loved and pushing you to run after your dreams," laughed the brunette. "If I can help you, I'll do it all the way."

"Oh, please don't say that", Miho replied. "You're much more useful and important than you think... Don't forget we saved each other's lives by meeting again."

The redhead went aboard, followed by her partner and Dogmeat, who jumped on board, then casted off. She settled into the cockpit, trying to take her marks. Kinuyo, behind, was looking for a potential instruction book, and eventually found it in a drawer. She came back to Miho, book in hand. The dog laid down and just watched them.

Kinuyo read the first page explaining how to do it, went silent for some seconds to integrate everything, then explained to her lover how to proceed. Miho, trying to follow her instinct, started moving backwards. She was terrified of making a wrong move. Nothing could stop them from finishing their journey. She hoped nothing would get in the way. Dogmeat remained calm. Nothing, probably, would happen. If he felt a danger, he would be agitated... and Kinuyo would also be agitated... they had a similar sense of danger, although the dog's was sharper... right?

A few minutes and a few missed maneuvers later, they had somehow managed to leave the port and head for Kyushu. The small island of Tokuyama, the last to take a look at them, would soon be nothing but a distant memory. The boat, gently, was moving away from the industrialized coast of Shunan. Miho's eyes were focused straight ahead. Nothing could draw her attention away from the horizon.  
Sitting behind her on the boat's floor, Kinuyo had her lighter in hand. Dogmeat was sleeping, his head resting on her lap. The brunette was repeatedly snapping the spark wheel, creating small sparks _. "It was a pleasure to burn"_... yet she had no intention of setting fire to the boat. She just needed to get her mind on something. She didn't say anything, but the motion was making her feel uneasy inside. Not that she was seasick, but she had only one wish: to arrive safely. It wasn't the fact that Miho was at the helm either... but she remembered that a few dozen centimeters under their feet... there were tens of meters of water. A depth she didn't even want to know.  
And in the end, what was down there? Dead bodies, with no doubt! Marine monsters... wait, that was unlikely. Garbage. Cables buried under the sand...? Ugly animals from the depths of the sea? Shells? No, it was more likely to be... sand... and rotting bodies being eaten by fish and plankton! All the drowned who had perished at sea! Divers, castaways, victims of killers...? Would she join them? What about Miho? She tried to calm herself. She was starting to lose her breath, it was getting shallow and rapid. Even with Dogmeat's reassuring presence on her lap, her intestines were being torn inside. It was much, much less frightening on the Akagi or another school ship... but on a small boat like this, it was truly terrifying.

Miho didn't let herself be distracted. She took her marks gently. When she saw an island getting closer, she turned well before hitting it. The Seto Inland Sea had more than a thousand small islands covered with pines, and they were scattered everywhere. A single mistake would be fatal. How would they get to Kyushu otherwise? Forty kilometers swimming was suicidal! But for now, everything was fine. The coast where the municipality of Kunisaki was located was still about twenty kilometers away. It was almost half an hour that Miho was driving this boat. She felt that Kinuyo was a little agitated behind, but didn't want to turn her head to see what was going on. And if her beloved didn't feel well, she would tell her. Dogmeat wasn't making any noise and still slept soundly. It would soon be over.

The sea, the sea that carried the travelers from island to island. It was finally just a road. A road made of water and salt, mischievous seagulls and sea-spray that came to caress the skin and gave it a little salty taste. The sea that reflected the sky under the sun, the sea that reflected the stars under the moon, the sea that would never die and that had seen all mankind since its appearance on Earth. Being a stretch of water must feel very strange, if the sea had sensations and feelings. Seeing everything pass without ever acting. Staying there, eternally, just to be carried by the forces of nature.

When Miho could feel that the coast would soon hit the bow if she didn't slow down, she cut off the throttle and started the reverse gear of the propellers to reduce speed. Dogmeat looked up and Kinuyo stood up. She walked behind Miho and gently placed a hand on her back.

"So that's it... we're in Kyushu..." murmured the brunette, almost incredulous. "We're really... in Kyushu..."

A single word came out of Miho's mouth. She was still concentrated on the horizon in order to avoid breakage while returning the boat to the port.

"Maho..."

She maneuvered slowly but surely to the dock and moored the boat. Kinuyo took the supplies bag and went carefully on the dock, then went to take the suitcase and placed it next to the heavier load. Dogmeat jumped off the boat just after her.  
The brunette saw a shape sitting on the mooring bitch, who was looking at her. Tamada was smiling at her, her eyes getting teary, and had the same expression she loved so much to see. The expression of a friend who had done all she could to help her, and who would still be there for her. Even Hosomi was there, just behind her, and was watching her. Nagura, Ikeda, and Hamada weren't here, but it was clear that they had observed them for all this time. Kinuyo quickly wiped away the tears of joy that pricked her eyes and smiled back at them, thanking them deeply inside without any word.

Miho, as her foot touched the concrete of the dock, on the mainland of Kyushu, felt a deep emotion running through her whole body. Something that transcended time and space. A deep inexplicable feeling resonated through her like the vibration of the singing bowls. Kyushu. The island where Kumamoto was. She had left Oarai. And now she was in Furumachi, looking at the Pip-Boy... only one hundred and twenty-five kilometers away from Kumamoto. If she removed the ten kilometers that separated her house from the city centre, it was only... a hundred and fifteen kilometers.

The redhead raised her head to the sky. A ray of sunlight was passing through the clouds that were still towards Honshu, and one could see that it had begun to rain down there. She whispered, in a voice carried by her heart:

"Thank you, Alice... thank you..."

A small gust of wind caressed her face, as if to reply.

They remained there for a few minutes, on the docks of Furumachi, just to feel the intensity of that moment. Finally, finally Kyushu. Maho. Kumamoto. Perhaps even Koume, Erika, Ritaiko, Geshiko, Mauko or Sangou. Perhaps her mother. It was soon the end. The end of this journey. The end of multiple dangers. The end of the problems...

The couple, accompanied by the dog, started walking again, in search of a house in which to stay tonight. But the road they took almost broke Miho's good mood. There were graves everywhere. Graves, graves, these horrible granit blocks that frightened her and reminded her how her own life could have ended on the Seto Inland Sea! These dirty gray stones, some with a name painted... in red, as Kinuyo had written their names by mistake! Anxiety began to rise again in herself when she saw the funeral monuments. The brunette seemed to feel it and forcefully turned the ginger's head, then accelerated the pace.

"You don't need any negative thoughts," she whispered in an almost cold tone. "Come on, don't look."

Dogmeat stopped sniffing everything ; he accelerated his pace too, as if he got that demonstrations of death could disturb his redheaded owner. Miho calmed down when they were no longer in the presence of these tombstones... these terrifying tombstones.

The house where they slept tonight had a very traditional appearance. Nothing to do with the western-ish one in which they had spent a few days. On the brown and white colours of the house, the red mailbox stood out. The two girls entered. Dogmeat ventured directly inside.

What a relief to end up in a house on the land of Kyushu. Miho sat down on the tatami and didn't make a move. Kinuyo inspected the rooms of the house, but soon returned to the ginger just to lay down on her lover's knees, much like the dog did to her in the boat or as when they were at the park in Shunan. After all, what could have been more important when they knew they were that close to Maho?

On the little table near the place where the futons would be unfolded tonight, Alice and Tamada's urns, Hosomi's dogtag and diary, the lighter, the dog's small bowl and the Polaroid. Those few possessions which were the dearest to their eyes. These things they would save them at any cost if there was a fire in the house. Actually, it would ultimately be their only possessions. One could almost paint a still-life. If they had had a human skull, it would have become a beautiful vanitas. An apocalyptic vanitas.

Dogmeat had some sardines for tonight, while Miho and Kinuyo shared a large can of the good old pork and beans. Even their dinner was no longer up to the happiness they both felt knowing they had arrived in Kyushu. Even the radioactive water they drank, because they no longer had any purified water, no longer impressed them. First because they had not yet caught anything with this water, but also because they felt alive again. They just wished to arrive safely in Kumamoto.

After a well-deserved bath, it was time to sleep. Miho unrolled the futons upstairs while Kinuyo filled a bowl of water for Dogmeat downstairs. She opened the window and let in the fresh air of the night. What greater happiness could be there? Hearing the footsteps of her beloved who was joining her comforted her even more. Kinuyo grabbed her from behind, her hands around her waist, and kissed her cheek. Miho looked at her gently, her eyes full of affection, and joined her on the futons put right next to each other.

"Kyushu my love" the redhead said.

"Kumamoto my love, rather?" the brunette giggled.

"How about Oarai my love?" Miho laughed, getting caught up in the game.

"Chihatan my love?" Kinuyo played along.

"Kinuyo my love?"

"Miho my love!"

Kinuyo jumped on her and pressed her against the futon, holding her tightly in her arms. Miho felt a little stifled, but knew it wouldn't last. She ran a hand through her girlfriend's hair and stroked her head, smelling her scent. It was so nice to have fun with her. The fun she had with Kinuyo wasn't comparable to the fun she had with anyone else, not even her friends in Oarai. Dogmeat came and laid down at their feet.

"Oh, don't feel left out", Miho gently said. "Come here, good boy."

He got closer to them. Miho scratched his neck. He raised his head, sticking his tongue out with a small doggy moan. Kinuyo caressed his short muzzle at the same time, then let him move away and go back to their feet.

"Sounds like he feels like having company", the brunette noticed.

"Yes, let's not leave him out", Miho replied as she laid down on the futon, taking Kinuyo's hand.

"Can't wait to take you back on the road tomorrow, dear", her lover murmured. "Good night."

"Good night, my love," the redhead whispered softly.

They fell asleep very peacefully this evening, thinking only of tomorrow. Kyushu, finally, Kyushu...


	47. Chapter 46

**Author's note : Finally done! How're you going? I hope you're all feeling good. Well, I have my exams soon, so it took a little bit of time. I've been drawing and playing videogames too, it helps coping with stress... I'm currently writing the original version of Chapter 47. God dammit, this is the longest thing I've ever written.**

 **Enjoy this one!**

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 **NOTICE :  
Could you please answer the poll on my profile? I'm trying to decide which story I'll write first after Three. I have so many ideas going on... If you answer it, that'd be really pleasant, thanks!**

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 _"The night fills my lonely place_  
 _I see your face_  
 _I know, I miss you so_  
 _I still love you_  
 _And it drives me insane"_

 _\- Santo & Johnny_

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Wake up on the floor of Kyushu. Miho would never have believed it could happen one day. Before crossing the Seto Inland Sea, it's almost as if she stopped hoping for it. She felt, however, that the part of the bed next to her was empty. Suddenly terribly worried, she arose with a start. Where were Kinuyo and Dogmeat? Had her loved one disappeared? What about the dog? Could all the good things disappear suddenly in one night? Were these presences merely an illusion during this whole journey? Miho got up abruptly and her head started feeling heavy, causing her to bend down a little. She had got up too quickly in panic. When her blood pressure went back to its normal level, she dressed quickly. Anything could have happened...  
Had she checked the kitchen last night? The knives... She should have hidden them as she did in the other house in Shunan! Kinuyo could have... Oh, no, no such thoughts, it wasn't possible!

"Kinuyo?" she called, worried. "Where are you?"

"Bathroom," the voice of the brunette replied. "Dogmeat had something unclear on his fur and I had something to do on my side."

Miho, relieved, took a deep breath. Nothing happened...  
Wait. "Something to do on her side?" What if it was serious? Was she actually...?

The ginger girl rushed into the bathroom. Kinuyo turned her head and glanced at her, a pair of scissors in her hand and Tamada's cleaned ribbon in the other.

"I was a little tired of having it in the face all the time," she said, smiling. "Do I look good?"

Kinuyo had cut her hair slightly above her shoulders and trimmed her bangs a bit. Miho found her adorable. It gave her a very different look. She looked... yes, different, in spite of her features that showed that she was very tired by the journey. Adorable wasn't the right word: Miho found her even more beautiful.

"You look wonderful," Miho said. "It suits you better..."

"Thank you," Kinuyo replied, blushing slightly. "At least I won't have this problem anymore... and it will feel less heavy when I'll wash my hair. I noticed that I had a lot of split ends too..."

Miho looked into the mirror. Their appearance had changed. Their gazes had something different from before the apocalypse... it was very difficult to explain what had changed, but it wasn't the same anymore. After more than a month walking and eating little, they had lost a few kilograms, but weren't starving. Their bones showed a little more than before, and their complexion had turned a bit paler. Reddish circles were visible under their eyes. Their hair didn't have the same shine as before: although they managed to keep it pretty clean, it looked dull. The wound on Kinuyo's arm had almost healed, but the scar was there, not to mention the one caused by the bag's strap on her shoulder. Miho noticed that her own hair had grown quite a bit. Before the apocalypse, its longest locks didn't touch the shoulders. Now they touched the clavicles and she almost looked like she had an A-line bob.  
But despite everything... it was still them. Despite all the hard times and pains... they were still the same two girls.

"Come on, let's have breakfast", Miho said.

Kinuyo gently kissed her forehead.

"Aye, I'm coming. Just let me clean this up and I'll be here. It's not going to be long."

She went downstairs and tried to find something to eat in the cupboards, trying to save some food. Something caught her attention. She reached for it: dried milk. They hadn't drunk milk for ages. They thought they would never see it again, without recalling that it was possible to find it in another form. Miho took the box and put it on the table. There weren't a lot of still edible things, apart from a few bags of roasted almonds, rice, pasta, canned sauce, crab, pork, or other cooked meals they'd find in supermarkets before the war. She put everything on the table. Raiding a supermarket or a convenience store would be an interesting idea if there wasn't the risk of finding raiders in there. They didn't need to end up like... like...  
The only thing that kept her from crying was Kinuyo going down the stairs. Miho tried as much as she could to look presentable and to make herself stronger.

"I know you're not feeling good," Kinuyo said, looking into her eyes, as if she stared into her soul. "Don't try to hide it. I feel it."

"I don't want you to worry about this," Miho breathed. "I thought about Alice... because I had the idea of raiding a convenience store to get supplies. We should find a pharmacy too. But I'm afraid there would be raiders that would kill us..."

"It's a good idea on one side, but you're right, it's quite risky," Kinuyo said, sitting down and opening a bag of roasted almonds, then crunching one. "Be careful not to be shot. We should try it, that'd be a great way to have more food."

"We should be very quiet and preferably wear something dark..."

"But how could we wear dark clothes under such heat? Black will attract the light and we'll overheat, Kyushu summer is much worse than Honshu summer...", her lover replied, still while eating almonds.

"Yes, but it'll be easier to hide", said Miho.

Kinuyo noticed the dried milk, opened the package and poured some into a glass, then in another one. She filled both with water and placed them on the table before taking some more almonds. Miho thanked her with a nod and sipped on her milk, picking some almonds at the same time.

"Tell me... when should we give it a try?" Kinuyo asked.

"I have no idea," Miho replied. "It should preferably be done in daytime. At night, it's too quiet. Maybe not today, but in the next days."

"Dogmeat will help us, either as a bait or as a defense."

"True! He's so strong..."

Speak of the devil, and he shall appear. The dog came near the table, staring at them, interested. He likely felt that they were talking about him. He waved his tail, looking happy.

"Look at him," Miho laughed. "He's such a clever one."

Dogmeat kept on staring at them. Kinuyo gave a pat on his head and watched him sit down at Miho's feet.

They left after breakfast, ready to hit the road again. They weren't going to slow down while being so close to Kumamoto... despite the terrible heat and humidity of Kyushu's summer. It had been a bit more bearable these last few days, but the sweltering sun was coming back. There was no wind, in addition, which reinforced the feeling of being literally knocked out by the temperature. The couple walked in the shade as much as possible. It was far too hot under the sunlight. Neither of them was the type of people to get sunburn, but what was most to be feared was still heatstroke. Dogmeat panted and followed more slowly. His coat was probably making him feel terribly hot.

Miho and Kinuyo approached the small hamlet of Nameshi when something caught the brunette's attention.

"Hey, what is that?" she said, pointing to a shape below, in what looked like a former paddy field.

Miho narrowed her eyes to try to see better, but there was nothing to do. It was impossible to tell precisely what it was. It looked like a rolled blanket, or a big bag, or something like that. The thing had a darkened color. Dogmeat went down first.

"Stay here honey, I'll see what it is," Miho whispered as she followed the dog.

An smell was beginning to be felt as they approached. Something that reminded the girl... of Hosomi's remains after she was eaten. Dogmeat started sniffing the dark thing. Miho suddenly realized that it was a corpse. A decaying, foul-smelling corpse, left in full sun like a carrion, and which was rotting right before her eyes. The flies buzzed on it, and innocent little maggots were crawling. It was a girl in a vault jumpsuit that had to be Maho's age, or a little older. A rope was firmly tied around her neck and was still on the ground. She had probably been strangled and looted, and then just left there. Suddenly terrified, Miho tried to reassure herself. It could not be Maho... it wasn't possible...  
By looking closer, she saw the girl had reddish hair. A backpack was still next to her. She took a deep breath, relieved that it wasn't her sister... and immediately regretted it. That putrid stench penetrated her lungs, invaded her olfactory cells and paralyzed her. She fell on her knees and started vomiting convulsively. Such a smell was... unbearable, and unforgettable.

"Are you okay?" Kinuyo worried.

"Don't come here" Miho said between two retches. "It's... disgusting. You don't want to see that."

"I'll just wait for you in the shade," her partner replied.

When her stomach finally calmed down, she tried to approach the body, despite that horrible smell. An identification plate was still attached to the girl's neck. Approaching a hand very carefully, she tried to read it.

 _"Azumi Kurosawa - Blood type AB - Vault 54 - Selection University - Fukui Prefecture"_

Azumi... Alice's teammate, who was sent just before her. It was impossible to know how she ended up in Kyushu, of course. Maybe she was trying to find her family too. Would it be how she and Kinuyo end up...? Dying like rats somewhere and rotting in the sun of Kyushu, about a hundred kilometers from their goal, turning into bacteria, crow and maggot food?  
Miho put a hand on the backpack and realized it was open. There was not much left. Azumi had died probably a month or two ago, and the body had already been looted. There were leftovers of decayed food, two pictures and... a voice recorder. Miho was tempted to take it, but remembered Hosomi's diary. She wanted to know what had happened to Azumi, but... was it really a good idea?

She took it anyway, driven by her curiosity. She looked at the pictures. A first one represented a family she didn't know, but seeing the facial features, it was Azumi's parents and a very young girl who was obviously her sister. The second... left her speechless. Azumi, along with her two friends of the dreaded Bermuda Trio, were posing with Alice. Miho felt the tears drowning her eyes again. She was going to keep this picture, just to get another one of Alice. So much the worse for Azumi and her friends, she was going to darken their faces with a marker.

"Do you find anything?" Kinuyo questioned, going down.

"Stay away," muttered Miho. "Stay away from it... your nose is too sensitive for that, you'd faint. This girl was one of Alice's teammates."

Kinuyo's expression changed from inquisitive to sad in a split second. She remained silent for some seconds, then asked in a low voice, almost on the verge of crying too:

"What are we doing for her?... We can't let her like that, Miho... it's so horrible to know that no one cares about her anymore..."

Her voice broke as she was trying not to tear up.

"...and that she's just some body left to rot in the sun..."

"We're not going to move her..." Miho replied. "It's going to make both of us sick. Use your lighter to set fire to a branch, then give it to me. We'll try to burn her body..."

Hearing these words, Dogmeat backed off and went back to Kinuyo. Miho pulled out the family picture and put it in the body's hand, barely able to see anything because her eyes were flooded. Kinuyo got her lighter out and set a dry branch on fire. _"It was a pleasure to burn"_... what a horrible sentence in an horrible contest. Where was the pleasure? Who would take pleasure in burning bodies, unless they'd be a dangerous madman?

Kinuyo, trying to avoid getting too close because the smell would be like a punch in the face, handed the burning branch to Miho. She threw it on Azumi's body. The latter started slowly being consumed by the flames. Miho and Kinuyo walked away. The ginger girl put Alice's picture and the recorder in the suitcase, then motioned to her partner to take the road again. Without turning around, with their dog, they went up and resumed their journey, not wanting to see such a morbid spectacle.

They stopped in front of a house that was near a downhill road a little farther away. There was one not far from where Miho found the corpse, but it was sick to sleep next to a dead body... it was better to get away from there. Moreover, the smell of burnt and rotten flesh at the same time would be an unqualifiable horror. Dogmeat remained outside, sniffing every single thing, while his two owners were putting the bags inside.

It was very dusty inside. Miho thanked heaven for not having asthma, because there was dust everywhere. Kinuyo put a finger on the tatami. It looked like she had touched flour. It wouldn't be very healthy to sleep in such a dusty place. They both took a broom and started cleaning up, the windows wide open. There was even dust in the air ; the light made these particles visible. They were probably radioactive, in addition. They didn't want to end up glowing in the dark, but this would make a nice toxic alternative to lightbulbs.

For dinner tonight, they shared a can of beans. It would be necessary to get food, they didn't have much anymore. There was no running water in this house, but they still had some mineral water bottles.  
Miho wondered if they'd starve to death one day, and thought back to Azumi, left alone in the middle of the old paddy field, rotting in the sun, long forgotten by everyone. She thought back to Kinuyo, who said she'd end like that herself. Miho wondered if she would end up this way too... if she were the only survivor of their group, who would take care of her remains? She would have buried or cremated the others, but couldn't do it for herself... and Dogmeat, although he was very intelligent, was still a dog. He wasn't going to burn a corpse. He couldn't even make fire. Maybe he could bury her, but would he really be able to do it? Did dogs also bury their dead when they had a more "humanized" mind than average? She wondered what his pre-war owners had become. Maybe he had buried... or eaten them, or just left them there, or had waited for days to see them waking up, waiting for affection, for a kiss, a pat, as with Alice... then went away. Alone. All alone in the world, until he met them.

There was still a futon in the closet, which the couple shared. They didn't even take the blankets out, it was really hot. Temperature was slow to cool down at night. It was still early night time, it was a matter of hours before having a respectable night temperature. They were going to feel hot tonight, but they had to sleep to be able to leave and continue tomorrow. Miho laid down on the futon and let Kinuyo come next to her. Dogmeat slept at their side.

"Have you ever thought about what would happen if you didn't make it to Kumamoto, and if Maho was alive?" Kinuyo murmured, gently passing her hands through Miho's hair.

"She would wait for me until she'd die herself..." the ginger sighed. "She would end up like Azumi, with no doubt... all alone, without anyone to care about her, and forgotten."

"I keep telling myself that if you didn't survive, I would continue for you... at least tell Maho the bad news, and then... you know, join you in death. That's how useful I am. I'm probably just a messenger, actually..."

"And if Maho was part of a group of survivors, would you join them and live, despite me being dead?"

"I won't lie to you... I really doubt that the girls from Kuromorimine would accept me," Kinuyo whispered. "I don't have the same mentality as them, and that would make an extra mouth to feed for a group. In addition, I'm not sure I'd stay sane for long and I'm likely to become dangerous to myself and others, or simply... obnoxious to everyone."

"I want you to live," Miho muttered. "I want you to live... and I'm always afraid that something will happen to you, or that you will end it all."

"If I still live, it's because I want to live," Kinuyo replied, getting closer to her. "I want to live, because I still have hope that things can go well. A totally absurd hope given the world in which we live, but as long as I am with you, it is much better than if I were alone, or with Tamada and the others. Even them couldn't make me want to live as much as you do."

"If I heard that Maho was dead, I think I couldn't stand it... but I would live for you too. Because you're the only light at the end of the tunnel if hers goes out. And you give me strength to continue."

Miho stopped for a moment, her throat seized by the emotions.

"And," she replied, "..and you are so determined that I can hardly believe it. You have lost everything and you still live... and you choose to live for me, whereas you could choose to die..."

Kinuyo remained silent. She just squeezed her a little harder. Miho turned to her lover. In the dark, their pupils were so dilated that their irises could barely be seen. The small hope of light that allowed them to see came from the moon outside. Miho looked into Kinuyo's eyes, who seemed to see everything inside. She felt her beloved taking her hand and gently caressing her fingertips. This look made her even more determined. Miho felt like crap after losing Alice, and regretted having wanted to get angry. Staying determined was so difficult... but she was gradually getting there. The world would never be the same again, but it would continue. The end of the world was nothing but the end of a world: the one she had known before the war.

"Good night, my Miho," Kinuyo murmured. "Have some well-deserved rest."

She kissed her gently. The sensation of her lips on hers warmed her heart like a wood fire in a freezing cold.

"I don't think I told you that before, because I preferred to show it, but... I love you, Kinuyo. Good night... have some rest as well."

Kinuyo smiled and brought her closer to make her feel safer. Miho closed her eyes and felt herself being carried away by fatigue. She was so exhausted... but the end was near. She was so close to her goal... and felt so lucky to have her lover beside her. She thanked heaven for making them meet again...

But Kinuyo couldn't sleep. She watched Miho slipping into a deep sleep... Miho, who was even more beautiful when she was in Morpheus' arms... Her relaxed features, this faint light coming from outside, the shapes of her face in the dark... her coppery hair, her cute, upturned nose, her lips, her closed eyes...  
As soon as Kinuyo tried to sleep again, it was impossible. She had too much weighing on her heart to daze off. Now that they were getting closer to Maho, the desire to know her grew stronger... but she felt something impossible to explain. She wasn't able to describe what it was. It was better not to talk to Miho about it. No need to stress her out. Kinuyo got up and walked over to the door, taking care not to wake up Dogmeat, and simply put her tank top on, and then went outside, leaving open the door to bring in some fresh air.

The moon shone brightly. The sound of the insects was even more present than before, the repopulation was advancing. Kinuyo sat right next to the door, taking the time to look at the sky. This sky that was constellated with stars... what could possibly be beyond these luminous things? That heaven of which so many religions spoke? Why would it be beyond space if it was made for earthlings? It wasn't possible that such a thing existed... but no one could prove it didn't exist either. Perhaps it was one of those things that everyone knew they existed, but no one was able to prove it. Like the other world, or all the other worlds. The world everyone said they didn't exist and were only the product of a person's imagination. Kinuyo wanted to believe it, but didn't know how to prove it. She had so many disappointments... and still couldn't know if the superstition of red ink had really caused Alice's death.

Some noise caught her attention. Dogmeat was walking towards the door. Kinuyo turned to him. The dog went directly to join her. Couldn't he find sleep either? Or was it because she was outside? No way to know. He licked her hands and closed his eyes. Kinuyo caressed him softly, thoughtfully, trying to relax.

"I don't know what to do anymore to make her feel better... I know how to comfort her and make her happy for a while... but how do I give her a definite smile before we reach Kumamoto and meet Maho?"

Dogmeat, of course, couldn't answer, but seemed to listen. His ears pointed towards her. He opened his eyes and looked at her.

"You knew how to make Alice smile, Dogmeat... do you think you can get there with Miho? I'm not sure I'm going to succeed at this..."

The dog kept on gazing at her. He nestled his head against her chest, just below her breasts. It was comforting. He had to feel that she herself had difficulty holding on, and was doing his best trying to give her some happiness.

"I'm so afraid for Miho, you know... it's getting worse, and I hope we'll find Maho soon, because I'm not sure she'll hold on for a long time anymore..."

Dogmeat licked her cheek. Kinuyo smiled and kissed his little head, then stood up. She had to go back to bed. Just some time with their dog had succeeded in cheering her up and relaxing her a little.

She closed the door behind, and then joined Miho, who hadn't moved an inch. She held her hand and pressed against her, then closed her eyes. It would be fine... it would be fine...


	48. Chapter 47

**Author's note : It took a while, now it's here! Writer's block is definitely shit... I hate it, it puts so much pressure. I just hope you're still happy about reading this. :)**

 **Enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

 _"The moon belongs to everyone_  
 _The best things in life are free_  
 _The stars belong to everyone_  
 _They gleam there for you and me"_

 _\- The Ink Spots_

* * *

Miho felt a little better when she awoke. She was afraid of seeing Azumi's body again in her dreams, but she didn't remember any this night, and it was actually better this way. There would have been nothing worse than seeing that decomposed flesh dripping with fluids and gnawed by those innocent little maggots that crawled on it, or the flies buzzing around.

Kinuyo, by her side, was sitting against the wall and seemed to stare into space. It was like she was gone. Only her body was still present. Miho put a hand on her shoulder to bring her back.

"Are you back yet, dreamer?"

Kinuyo had a start and turned her head, her eyes getting their warmth back.

"Yes, I was thinking of many things," she replied. "I was waiting for you to wake up, and then... I fell asleep for a moment, and then I started thinking about things. I was kind of sleeping now... but... not exactly, it's hard to say."

"You had trouble sleeping tonight, haven't you?" Miho whispered.

"Well..." Kinuyo sighed. "I went for having some fresh air outside, because I wouldn't have been able to stand feeling so hot for much longer."

"I remember vaguely feeling you getting up, but that's all. I was such drowsy that I didn't react..."

"You know, if something had happened to me, Dogmeat would've barked. Don't worry about me. I just needed some space."

"Is something on your mind?" Miho asked.

Kinuyo seemed to think, as if she were weighing the pros and cons.

"No, I'm okay," she finally answered with a forced smile. "I'm doing pretty well, if it isn't from the heat, apocalypse, and sleep issues. Body and mind are working fine."

Miho felt there was something wrong in her voice. She wasn't a good liar, it was obvious. There was something on her mind for sure. However, was it worth the trouble to ask her and risk that she'd shut her mouth even tighter to avoid worrying her? Miho preferred to remain silent. She would ask her indirectly a little later so her lover wouldn't be tempted to change the topic.

When they hit the road again, the doubt became even stronger. Miho felt something odd coming from Kinuyo. She was holding back something. It didn't feel related to their relationship, but it was something else. She hoped that an event similar to the shooting wouldn't happen again... it was the same kind of anxiety that emanated from her. The same kind of anxiety as when she felt something bad coming. It was really not going to be easy for her to spill it. She was quiet as the grave.

Miho looked around. Nothing too hazardous. There was no other corpse, not anything suspicious, it was hot but it was really one of the only problems. The civilization would be back in the next months or years. There were already some groups of raiders as they had seen, but for the moment it was still very calm, at least where they were. How many residents had left their vaults like her? How many of them had remained normal... or had fallen into crime? Would they themselves end up becoming infamous raiders?

Had Maho become one of them because of the lack of food and supplies? Actually, before the war, they were probably not bad people. But war... _war never changes_. It destroys minds and hearts. Maho, as well-intentioned and lawful as she was... could very well have become a criminal, out of compulsion and desperate need.  
Miho was afraid for a moment. What if Maho wasn't dead, but had been kidnapped and taken somewhere else? Maybe far from the Nishizumi manor? The idea gave her shivers just to think of it... the closer she got to her sister, the more she felt excited, but... the closer she got to her, the more afraid she was.

Post-apocalyptic Kyushu was different from anything they had seen before. Honshu was even richer than its neighbour in terms of landscapes, but still much less warm. Kyushu was like an open-air oven. Since they had left Honshu, it was as if the whole world had changed. As if they had penetrated into another dimension: Maho's dimension. A dimension that was no longer the same. Where was Oarai? Where was Tokyo? Edo had perished under the oldest sister. Oarai was under an avalanche of radiation. Had the shelter reopened to the outside world, or would it take three years, one year for each triplet? Would it reopen one day? What about Vault 64? Had silence finally taken over any noise? Did the remaining ones lose their ability to talk? And what about Vault 54? Who was sent after Alice and Azumi who both died in this terrifying world?

What made Miho come back to reality was Kinuyo, who held her hand a little tighter when they were around Itagaki, telling her to stop without any word. Dogmeat barked and seemed to turn to their left.

"Is there anything wrong?" the redhead worried, not knowing what was going on.

"No no, I'm feeling okay," her partner said. "I think I just found our place to sleep tonight."

She pointed at a barricaded house, in the direction of the dog who was advancing towards the building. However, the two garages, one unfinished, had no door. There were some tools lying around. Some fields away from them, a small river passed under a bridge.

"We take shelter from the sun here, bathe in the river this evening, find a way to get in and look inside," she suggested. "I believe there must be something left in this house... if there is no more water or electricity, there must still be some food or other supplies. We still have enough to drink, but we shouldn't skip meals..."

"How will we get rid of the planks blocking the entrance?" Miho asked. "Someone might be hiding in there. We never know."

"Oh, you know, whoever isolates themselves in there would become dehydrated and starve to death, I think," Kinuyo said. "We should rest a bit first... what do you think?"

"Good idea," Miho agreed.

They went into the safest-looking garage. In the shade, it was still hot, but they were far from the temperature in the sun. In addition, the thick concrete walls were keeping the place at least a bit cooler.  
Dogmeat, panting, laid down on his side, trying to feel the freshness of the ground. The poor little guy was tired. Miho poured some water into the small porcelain bowl and put it next to him. He raised his head and laped the water quickly, completely thirsty. He needed to drink. Miho gave him some more water, then decided to save the last half of the bottle for the evening.

Miho thought back to the recorder she had found in Azumi's backpack. It was turned off. There would certainly still be enough battery to listen to what she had to say. She put a hand on the suitcase. Kinuyo looked at her, curious.

"You're searching for the recorder, aren't you?" she said.

"Yeah... I wonder what happened to Azumi," Miho replied. "She must have been murdered... maybe betrayed? I want to know..."

"Quite a fine tribute... no one else would have done this, I'd stake my life on it."

"I think it's important to know... she may have information about a food source, and also... she was a friend of Alice."

Miho pulled the recorder out and pressed the ON button. The batteries were new. Azumi had probably found some of them during her journey. There were several audio files, the last one dated July 17th. She pressed the button and turned the volume up so that both would hear the message.

 _"July 17th, and it's 1:04 pm... it's not going good, I think I've been followed since Oka... I saw someone there... They're hunting me down, I'm sure of it. People would kill for a little food, I'm getting closer to Beppu and I'll probably be there in a few days... but I'm afraid... I'll take the mountain roads if necessary, but I'll get there. It was so much better when I was riding that bike on the roads of Honshu... I just hope I'll make it to Beppu, because I'm so close to my goal..."_

Followed? Azumi had indeed been murdered, no doubt about it, and most likely for her food! Who could have done that? Was that same person hunting them down? It was unlikely, given that their target was Azumi. But the two girls had to be careful.

Miho felt sad and frightened. Alice's teammate must have felt death coming... not only because she was strangled to death, but because she knew she was in danger the day before she died. Maybe it was even the day of her death. She must have been terrified. On their side, they had a dog, but... what if the aggressor neutralized him first to better attack them? They would either attack the two at the same time, or take advantage of the reaction time of one to throw themself on the other. It was just a horrible thing to think about.

"I wonder who made her undergo such horror," Kinuyo murmured, her gaze seeming lost. "Who can hunt someone down and kill them? The one who did this is completely sick..."

"I think it's somebody who has taken the mentality of the world in which we live now," Miho sighed. "Might makes right... civilizes times are over, at least for now. By the time we bring it back, so many people will die..."

"I hope it wasn't Maho", Kinuyo whispered.

"No, no! Maho is waiting for me in Kumamoto... so it's impossible that it would be her. I'm more inclined towards an isolated survivor... who probably did not have enough to eat. Or a psychopath. Maybe both?"

"In any case, it's... intolerable. Killing someone for what they have... knowing that someone probably still has a family, friends... I really have a hard time with that. I would feel much less horrible about killing if it was to put an end to her suffering or to protect you or Maho... but the day I kill someone will haunt me for a while after."

"I think at some point we'll have to cut some lives," Miho murmured sadly. "In a world like that, being a pacifist is the best way to die... but I would never kill for nothing. Either for you or for us, or because there is no other choice. I don't like the idea of snatching someone's life either."

"You're right, I think. We will eventually adapt. It will be necessary, otherwise we won't make it very long here."

Kinuyo went silent again. Miho looked at the dog who was sleeping next to them. The heat was exhausting him. She took the bottle of water and drank a little, feeling the thirst rising in herself. It wouldn't be very safe to drink in the river nearby. Unless they'd purify the water with a few drops of bleach or a tablet...

Eureka! Miho almost had a start. Kinuyo went a bit closer.

"What are you thinking about?" she said softly.

"We should take a look inside the house," suggested Miho. "We will remove the nails from these planks, or we will go through the window of the first floor after breaking it, and we will just be curious in there."

"I said that one hour ago", Kinuyo laughed."Well, I must say... I thought of pulling out the planks, but not of shattering the window. Now that you say it, it's true... if it's barricaded from the inside, we'll have to go through the window. I'll go, if you want. I'll just try not to trip and fall. It'd not be so good if I broke my spine-"

"No, I'd rather go myself", she cut her off. "You've put yourself in danger for me far enough times."

Miho stood up and searched in the tools. She found a crowbar in the middle of this mess, as well as a hammer. It would be handy to remove the nails that held the door, and the hammer could eventually serve as a weapon.

She joined her lover near the door and gave her the hammer, feeling that she'd work better with a crowbar, and started working on the plank. Some nails were hard to tear away, but she managed to get them off, and Kinuyo did her part. After about ten minutes spent removing all that held the wooden plank, the way was free. They entered the house.

The one who had nailed the door had probably looted the house and kept it as a future shelter, for there were only a few boxes of instant noodles and bottles of water left. Miho took the opportunity to look in the household products. After all, not many people were paying attention to them.  
She found some bleach. Two or three drops of it in a liter of water filled in the river or in a lake, filtering the large particles with a cloth, and they'd have clean water. That would kill the microorganisms. She was quite surprised she hadn't thought about it before.

As she went upstairs to see what was in the room, she thought back to her idea of raiding a convenience store. They'd have to find black, or at least dark clothes, to better hide in the shade. Not too thick preferably, to avoid overheating. They would use the hammer and the crowbar as weapons... even though the hammer would be a bit heavy to handle, unless throwing it into the head of their target. But she wasn't sure about her aiming skills, and Kinuyo wasn't the best at it either. She would keep the hammer anyway, just to be sure.

She looked into the closet. Male and female clothing. Not what she was looking for... the darkest clothes were thick. It would be too hot for them. But as she poked a little more into the closet, she touched a plastic shape. When she got it out, she saw that it was a long, pink... very naughty object. There was a button to turn it on.  
Just out of curiosity, she pressed it: the vibrations almost made the thing fall from her hands. She quickly turned it off and couldn't help but have a big goofy grin on her face. She'd surprise Kinuyo the next time they'd feel the urge to get busy, when they would be in a safer and more comfortable place. Her muscles remembered what they had done in the car. Miho hid the object behind her back.  
Just before closing, she glanced back and found a bottle... containing oil. Not the cooking oil, no... another kind of oil. She suddenly had an idea. To hide these two compromising objects, she would suggest to Kinuyo to come and get some clothes in order to have something else to put on.

She didn't need to call her; her lover was already climbing the stairs. Miho just had enough time to take her top off and hide everything in it, then make sure she looked like she was browsing in the closet.

"Are you looking for clothes?" Kinuyo said.

"Yes, do you want to see for you?" the ginger girl replied, trying as much as possible not to laugh from embarrassment and from wanting to surprise her.

"Why not, it's always interesting."

They both started searching. Miho took a white tank top. Kinuyo took a light grey one, which was just as thick. They would feel less hot, especially Miho who would no longer wear her long-sleeved uniform. Even trying to bare her arms, she was feeling horribly hot and sweaty. They also took a black and white bandana to tie around Dogmeat's neck. He would be more visible and recognizable from a distance.

"By the way," Kinuyo suggested, "we should try to sleep in the garage tonight. We'd bring back one or two quilts, make an improvised bed, and spend the night outside. It will be fresher at night."

"You have a point," replied Miho. "Besides, it's going to be fun to sleep in a garage. We'll use the supplies bag as a pillow, and that'll do the trick. We should just put a curtain or a sheet to hide from the outside."

Kinuyo grabbed a sheet in the closet. That'd work fine. The couple brought back their clothes and what they'd use for the night to the garage. Miho made sure the two naughty items were still well-hidden.

When it was dinner time a little later, they had instant noodles as a meal. Not the best in the world, but their stomachs were calmed down for the evening. Dogmeat had a ration of cheese-flavoured crackers. He needed something to eat, after that. In addition, the spices would not be very pleasant for his mouth which was very likely more sensitive than theirs. The poor little one would feel his gums and tongue burning.

After this light meal, it was time for a bath in the river. There was still a bit of soap in the house's bathroom, as well as some towels that would do the trick. It was strange to bathe under a bridge, in a river, under the falling evening of Kyushu.  
Miho undressed and entered first, and her beloved soon followed. It was quite different from onsen after a tankery match, but it was still nice. It was probably closer to bathing in the sea than an usual bath. In both cases, it was a radioactive water bath, probably full of dirt, protozoa and other bacteria of all kinds, but it was always better than to risk illnesses due to nonexistent hygiene. Of course, they couldn't be as clean as before the war, but at least they'd wash away the negative ions of the day and refresh, and eventually feel less dirty.  
They had asked Dogmeat to remain close to their stuff, and he was doing so. He was obedient by nature. There was probably nobody around, but especially after listening to the last signs of Azumi's life, they had to be careful.

"Short hair feels nice", Kinuyo breathed between two arm movements to soap her body. "At least, I no longer have to find something to tie it up each time I bathe or shower, and it no longer feels like a two-tons weight when it's wet."

"You'll see that we're going to end up with inverted hairstyles," Miho said, laughing. "I'll end up with longer hair, and you'll keep yours short... Hana and Mako would have cut theirs, and probably Saori too."

"They would have seen a big contrast. When you go from long to short, there is always one."

"Saori would have complained about not being sexy anymore", the ginger sighed. "She was really obsessed with her appearance... Mako wouldn't have said much and Hana would have got used to it, but Saori... phew, Saori... she wouldn't have stopped whining and probably would have demeaned herself by sleeping with some raiders."

Kinuyo handed the soap to Miho and sprayed herself with water to rinse her body.

"I knew people like this too, and that made me angry when they talked constantly about boys or how well such actor or singer was beautiful, sexy, or a good husband. I didn't care about this, neither about boys or girls, before the apocalypse. I didn't want to have a relationship because I didn't feel the need for it, yet so many people seemed to want at least a kiss from me. If I didn't send them packing as I would have loved to do, it was because I didn't want to hurt their feelings."

"Popularity," Miho murmured while rinsing herself. "I'm glad in a way that you didn't like yours, because I must confess that mine made me feel uncomfortable too, though a little less because I had my friends with me. But everybody would come and talk to me at the same time, and when I came back home, I thought of nothing but isolating myself completely and sleeping."

"On a side note, when Hamada and Nagura weren't together yet, Hamada always asked me if her bun was perfect and if she had no stain on her clothes. At first I thought she wanted to attract all the boys of her neighbourhood, but after a while, I realized that she wanted to be beautiful for Nagura and only Nagura... It was when I was beginning to feel that they were on the same wavelength."

"Yukari always had this concern to look presentable in front of me... I assume it's what it's like to have a crush. I didn't need this with you because I already felt that I was holding on to you very quickly, but... I never had this need with Yukari, to always behave perfectly, and yet I wouldn't have been against the idea of dating her."

"You loved her as a friend," Kinuyo replied as she finished rinsing, then came closer to her. "You didn't like her as we love each other... and that's normal. It would probably have ended like it with Tamada and I... a small affair that doesn't last, and that is nothing more than a very strong friendship. She was my best friend, and for a while, we just thought it was more than that."

Miho felt her repressed emotions coming back. The ones from the past that she had tried to forgotten so she could remember her friends in Oarai in a good way. She needed to tell Kinuyo the truth. Only her would understand almost on the same level as Maho would, and she'd never tell a soul about it.

"I have to confess... Yukari ended up making me so uneasy. She was so demanding that I was feeling... harassed? No, that's too strong of a word... but I can't really think of another one. She was insistent, obsessed by her tanks and by me, and followed me everywhere. It was scary in a way, and annoying in another. At times I just wanted never to see her anymore. I never told anyone, not even the others, because I didn't want to be seen as a hypocrite. You're the first to know, Kinuyo... she was really... unbearable sometimes. But I would never have thought of abandoning her. I simply could not have. She was my friend. I felt guilty for leaving her when I ran away from the vault... but now that she's not there anymore, it feels like a weight was taken off my shoulders."

Kinuyo remained silent, listening. She glanced at her as if she did not know what to say, then put a hand on the small of her back.

"She was probably toxic to you then," she murmured. "Sometimes people are unintentionally toxic. They don't realize the harm they are doing, and besides, we can't really do much about it, because by not wanting to hurt them, we don't say anything until we snap, or something separates us from them."

Miho finished rinsing and got up from the water. They both wrapped themselves in a towel and walked to the garage where they had their stuff. Dogmeat was still there, patiently waiting, and looked at them with friendly eyes, just as to tell them _"You're back? Are you feeling good?"._  
He stood up and wagged his tail as he saw them coming back. They dressed in the house, then went to lie on the quilt. If they were cold, they had blankets in their belongings, so no need to borrow one. After all, what more could they ask for? They had a roof over their heads, they could have had a dinner, they could wash and drink, it was already a big stroke of luck in this post-apocalyptic world!

This small improvised shelter wasn't a luxury, but it was quite comfortable and very charming.

"That reminds me of when I was little," Miho said. "With Maho, we made dens in our rooms with blankets, pillows and the side of our beds. We all did this as kids, I think. I remember we had a flashlight and we had fun telling stories to each other and pretending to go camping."

"Me too," Kinuyo murmured with a smile. "I was alone on my side, but I built these dens to read. I didn't have a bed, only a futon, so I just hung the corner of my blanket to my desk and the other to a shelf in the closet, then put my futon underneath and played with my stuffed animals, or I was just reading the books I had stolen from my father's office. I wish I still had my deer plushie... I'd have named it Miho. It was my favourite with my big panda."

"Oh, same here!" she laughed. "If this keeps up, I'll take one of my Bokos once back home and call it Kinuyo. And I would give it to you. It would be yours. I have so many that I no longer count them. The ones that I had brought to Oarai were only a small part."

Kinuyo stretched a little more on the quilt, putting an arm around Miho's body.

"That's so funny, we could become small again and we could play like two kids with our stuffed toys... And make a den with the blankets in your room, read stories and say even more stupid things. Or just play tag in a garden, or get the ohajiki out... childhood was such a good time. We didn't know each other yet, but we still had an innocence."

"There are so many children who lost it today," Miho murmured. "I would like to go back in time to become a carefree little girl again, to make sure that my mother has something to do with your parents, and play with you when she'd come to their house. I wonder what it would have been like if we had met as children."

"Oh, I think you would have been the one to come to me, I was very shy when I was little. I would have hid behind my mother. But once we would have talked for a while, I would have been pretty much like now, and probably even more excited."

"Yes, I was quite outgoing as a child, but I didn't like to see too many people at once. I was much less quiet than I became."

Kinuyo kissed her on the cheek, her eyes lovingly staring at hers.

"My sweet Miho... we need to rest. We have to look for Maho."

"Yes, hon... good night to you too."

Miho nestled against Kinuyo and kissed her gently, then closed her eyes and let herself be carried away by the soft heaviness of sleep. Sleeping in a garage, quite a clever idea...


	49. Chapter 48

**Author's note: Took so long.. I'm sorry. I had my exams, a heat wave struck my country, and I just kinda ran out of time because I have so much to do now. ;; I will move homes at the end of the week, but I really hope I'll be able to write Chapter 49 quicker.**

 **Enjoy this one!**

* * *

 _"We've both been sound asleep_  
 _Wake up little Susie and weep_  
 _The movie's over, it's four o'clock_  
 _And we're in trouble deep"_

 _\- The Everly Brothers_

* * *

The sun had already risen for some time, but it wasn't yet too hot when they were awoken by the light of day. It was hoped that a storm would crack, otherwise a heaviness like that would be less and less bearable.  
Miho hoped to reach Kumamoto in the next few days. Within three days? Despite the heat, they would have to accelerate anyway. They would have to find Maho as soon as possible. They had never been so close to finding her. Miho could almost feel her near already. She felt less and less bereaved about Alice, it was a step. Her mourning was still going on... after all, it was true, crying and thinking about it wouldn't bring her back. And Kinuyo needed her. Maho too. Dogmeat too. The hypothetical others too.

Miho sighed and raised her head painfully, thinking back to Azumi who would never have the chance to see her family again. She was so close to her goal... but her life ended right at the worst moment. It was so frustrating. If they were still alive, they would wait for her... wait for her again and again, until they'd lost hope... and die as well? Was it possible to die from waiting, even while having enough food and continuing to live? Was it a death of the body, or a death of the mind? Would it be a physical-only life, the etheric having left the body after having yearned for so long?  
Kinuyo, on her side, was petting Dogmeat. She said nothing, but the inexplicable feeling she felt more and more continued to grow. Her shoulders were hurting from being constantly clenched. She had pain in her neck and upper back. Even when trying to stretch her muscles, she couldn't get rid of the pain. Was it the stress of having to raid and put her life and Miho's in danger, in reality, which was disguised as apprehension about the meeting with Maho? It was almost impossible to tell. Not only was she terribly stressed, but she was also afraid it would show too much. It was a vicious circle. The more she felt stressed, the more she tried to hide it so Miho would see nothing and wouldn't worry, the more she hurt herself.  
In any case, she counted on Dogmeat to help her cheering her partner up. The fact that they were getting closer to her sister helped a lot, but it was still difficult to get over the loss of someone as important as Alice was...

Miho searched in the bag and got out a biscuit ration, accompanied by some water. By raiding a small supermarket today, they would be able to get some food... anyway, they came to a point where they couldn't really do otherwise. The next 7-Eleven, Lawson, FamilyMart or Sunkus that would show up on their way would be their target.  
Fresh products had given up the ghost for a while, but they would concentrate on dry products. If they had to eat instant noodles, rice or canned food, they would. As much as possible, one had to try to keep an almost normal diet, although they had never eaten as many preserves in their whole life.

Kinuyo looked at the biscuits and almost felt repelled. She wasn't sick, but... her appetite hit rock bottom. The more days passed, the less she wanted to eat. It was still this bloody feeling that gripped her. She was dying to get rid of it by talking to Miho... but... was it a good idea? It was so stupid, moreover... true, why make oneself sick out of apprehension? Maho was just a human being like the others, why was she so afraid to talk to her? In addition, they had already communicated. Kinuyo couldn't understand herself anymore. She started to have completely irrational fears.  
Before Miho would start to look at her strangely because she didn't eat, she munched on a biscuit and tried her best to consume as much as possible. She drank water practically at every mouthful, for the sensation of swallowing was unbearable. It was as if anything passing in her throat ended up trapped there.

"Say, are you ready for our raid?" Miho asked.

"Yes, and I think I'll rather take a knife instead of a hammer, it's more manageable," Kinuyo replied. "The hammer is too heavy..."

Miho felt fearful. A knife..? Was it a good idea to leave a knife in her hands? Not that she would commit murder... but she was still afraid of suicide.  
Still, she nodded. Kinuyo had the right to choose her weapon... and it's true, it would be smaller and manageable than a crowbar or a hammer. And above all, she had to calm down on paranoia... what would Maho think if she realized that her sister was such paranoid?

"Do you think they'll have taken everything before us?... I mean, my question is odd... but do you think there will be something left when we'll go in?" her lover questioned, seeming to reflect on something.

"In my opinion there will always be something," replied Miho. "It is impossible that they'd be still here if there was no food left. If we have to kill them all to search in their safe, we will do it... it's a matter of necessity."

"Food in a safe? I would rather put some money in it... well, even if money has no more value now... in any case, it's what I would have put if I had a safe. Maybe the urns too, if we really had to protect everything... our pictures... or maybe some other stuff."

"No, I didn't mean they'd put food in it," Miho said. "Rather, they would use it to hide weapons or something like that. Of course there must always be money. But nowadays, it's just bits of paper and metal... in fact, it's more or less what it has always been, except that it is no longer valuable."

Kinuyo, distracted, ate a little more than she seemed to have thought.

"I wonder what it's going to replace money when civilization comes back," she said. "It's weird, but I feel that some people's collections of beer capsules or Coca-Cola of some might prove to be useful. Hopefully, it will make the new world currency... or at least the new Japanese currency. Exit yen, hello caps."

"When you think about it, it's true... capsules vaguely have the form of coins, and it makes a nice sound when you shake a bunch of them. Good plan."

Dogmeat stood up and approached. Miho poured some water into the porcelain bowl and then finished her ration. She resumed:

"I still think civilisation will take some years to come back," she said. "On the other hand, there is a detail... we won't be able to do heads or tails. Such a shame."

"Yes," Kinuyo said after drinking a sip of water. "We can still do it. A coin is a coin, and whether it has value or not, we can still flip it anyway. But it would be like playing with a pebble. Maybe the coins will become the new ohajiki, or they will be used as pawns. A funny game with the old money of the century."

They got up and cleaned up before taking their stuff and the knife in the house. The hammer remained in the suitcase. Maybe it would still be useful, after all, it wasn't lost. They left with their dog.  
Another fresh start to Kumamoto. There were... maybe two, three days of walking left? Four if they took a bit longer? By accelerating the pace in spite of the heat, they could cover this distance quicker.

No one seemed to follow them, despite the fear that came from Azumi's last recording. It was a good thing, although Miho was always on her guard. Kinuyo looked a little less attentive than usual. It was with no doubt from the hot weather, but she was always very careful.  
Dogmeat, ultimately, was their ears. He could hear much more finely. He was also their nose, because the smells made his cells react more vividly. He wasn't their eyes, however. With two pairs of human eyes each with normal vision, there was not much more to ask for. After all, even the ghosts could possibly warn them. In the end, they were doing much better than they looked...

Miho suddenly remembered something. She had never known why Kinuyo had left her vault. Hosomi wanted freedom, Tamada probably too... but Kinuyo had been the one who had the idea to run away... but why? Why only with Hosomi, Tamada, and Fukuda? Why didn't you bring the others? Maybe it was just a matter of supplies... after all, the more people there were, the more often they had to replenish their stocks. Running out of food would have been quick. This probably explained why Teramoto, Hamada, Nagura and Ikeda weren't told to come.  
And then, remembering that Ikeda suffered from bipolar disorder and that Nagura was in poor health, their survival would have been catastrophic. That was probably why she hadn't brought them with her. Miho thought back to Fukuda, who had remained in Vault 64, and who may be still alive. In the end, Hosomi and Tamada may have saved her life by deciding to abandon her at the last moment.  
She was directly brought back to her own friends. She didn't even remember their voices and began to lose the memory of their faces, it was weird. As much as she remembered that of Maho, that of Alice's mother, or of her own mother, her memory went foggy when it was about her Ooarai friends. Was it the detachment that was progressing more and more?... Could Kinuyo recall the faces of her loved ones? Her own parents..? Tsuji-san..?... Or had the limits of human memory caught her up...?

One step at a time, under Kyushu's scorching sun, they approached the town of Yufu. The landscapes were already a little more urban. Soon they'd fine a convenience store and raid it. For the time being, there were not any on the horizon. Just for now, one or two inns, or just trees along the road. Those trees were still standing and still had foliage or needles, but they looked really dull. It wasn't quite the same colors as in autumn, but their summer green wasn't as alive. Radiation, even in small numbers, affected the plants. If they touched one of these little leaves, it would fall into pieces. The wood was easier to break than before, and many things had become fragile.  
Miho wondered how much radiation had destroyed their bodies. No symptoms for now... but that didn't mean that the effects weren't there.

They approached a Lawson convenience store. Not surrounded by barbed wire or anything at first glance. As they walked from behind, they noticed that the glass of the doors had been broken. Dogmeat seemed more attentive, but not aggressive. Miho motioned to Kinuyo to hide a little farther.  
They hid behind a sign. It indicated _"LAWSON STATION"_.  
It was oddly silent. The raiders might have gone away to loot a place, but there would probably be someone to watch for thieves.

"Shall we?" whispered the brunette, holding her knife firmly.

"Not yet," the ginger replied.

She turned to the dog, who looked at her. She pointed to the convenience store.

"Dogmeat, good boy, go and see if there are any people, and if so, bark and play the good dog so you distract them," she whispered, seizing the crowbar.

The dog looked at her for a few seconds, then trotted toward the store. Miho and Kinuyo held their breath. If he barked, it would be risky. They would have to take the opponent by surprise.

Three voices were heard. Dogmeat barked. He was a perfect lure. Who would fear such an adorable dog? Miho glanced at Kinuyo, who didn't loosen the grip on her weapon. She motioned for her to advance silently. They wouldn't crawl on the ground, but approach slowly, trying to make as little noise as possible. It would be necessary either to steal supplies without being noticed, or to use violence to neutralize them. There wasn't much else to do with this kind of people, after all. Pacifism would only lead to death... they'd better bare their teeth.

Gently, carefully, they entered through the broken doors. A frightful odor of bad hygiene escaped from there. Kinuyo almost got back outside, feeling her head badly spinning from the strong smell, but managed to get better. There was a woman and two men. Miho looked to the left, Kinuyo to the right: they were not far from where they were. They slipped in another section, always in the utmost prudence. However, the dog trick wouldn't last forever. Miho took advantage of it to steal some cans, without even looking at what was in it. Food was food.

The voices came closer. Miho held the crowbar more firmly. Kinuyo was a little closer to the three raiders, trying to observe while remaining on guard. She was hiding her long knife behind her back, ready to stab by surprise at the first opportunity. Miho had never seen her like this before. She was so vigilant, so caught up in the moment, not wandering off in her thoughts.  
Miho felt an unknown instinct crossing her body and soul. She had this need for violence. She would never have thought she would feel it one day... but she had a sudden urge to kill. Was it his protective instinct that took over because her loved one was in deadly danger? Or was it the call of food and the fear to starve that made her mind go almost animal?

She could see one of the two men not far from her position. Quickly, she hid and snapped her fingers. Kinuyo instantly turned her head and glanced at her. She waved her hand to tell her she knew what she was doing. Miho walked slowly, closer and closer to the raider, circling around a section to take him by surprise. Dogmeat still played to distract them. They'd likely kill the woman last.  
Silently, Miho almost held her breath. The slightest noise could draw attention. After all, it wasn't during their first raid that they would have to die. And above all, not before coming in Kumamoto.

And suddenly, on an impulse, she struck the raider's neck with a strength she had never had before. Not even the violence with which she had slapped Kinuyo when she had failed to kill Alice. Much stronger. It was as if the adrenaline had increased her strength tenfold.  
The raider barely had time to realize what happened: a kick to the legs made him fall. He was not very imposing either, about a head taller than Miho was. He screamed in pain, drawing the attention of the other two.  
Kinuyo moved back unexpectedly, trying to hide, her eyes looking suddenly vague. Dogmeat barked louder and louder. Miho pointed to a strategic place to bite to paralyze their second opponent, while she continued to violently hit her victim's head with the crowbar, trying to break his skull. She no longer thought, she hit; he was no longer a human being, he was a prey; Miho was no more a person, she was a hungry predator.

Kinuyo felt trapped. The violence around her was far too intense. She was totally overwhelmed by what happened, and worse: she had never expected it. Fear paralyzed her, just like anxiety paralyzed her when her comrades charged against her will. She was losing control. She felt like she was going crazy. She wanted to help Miho, she wanted to do it, but was unable to make a move with the knife. The fear of murder. The thought she was going to snatch someone's life. The fear of missing her shot and taking one that would kill her.  
It was visceral. Her guts were no longer organic, they were a pool of lava. Her heart beat so hard she almost heard it, and she couldn't catch her breath. The fight-or-flight response intensified. Her whole body trembled. How would she protect Miho if she was not even able to fight a raider?

A painful shriek was heard. Dogmeat had bitten the second raider in the right place. Miho, from behind, came all of a sudden and had this time got the hang of it. She struck hard with the crowbar, breaking the skull of the man at the first blow. The woman had disappeared. Miho looked for her, and realized that she was heading for Kinuyo, who still seemed paralyzed. But she couldn't take out the crowbar from the dead man's brain. She tried without success.

"Kinuyo! Look out!"

The brunette turned, ready to strike...  
...and an inexplicable thing happened.

A Western-looking woman armed with a .44 Magnum, wearing a long coat and a hat, came out of nowhere. A shot was fired. The last raider, hit right in the head, died instantly and fell at their feet. Miho and Kinuyo barely had time to realize what was going on before noticing the mysterious stranger had disappeared. A long silence ensued.

"What the... did you see what I just saw?"

"I wonder who it was," Miho breathed, trying to track the mysterious stranger. "She came at the right moment..."

"She just saved our lives... she looked straight in my eyes for a very short moment before shooting, then I don't know what happened... she was just gone."

"She shot her in the head", replied the redhead. "And then... I think she vanished... well, I can't say much. It happened so quickly..."

Dogmeat returned to the couple. Miho petted him.

"Our good buddy is back," she said gently.

She got up and looked at what she had just done. The crowbar was covered in blood on the curved end. Kinuyo looked at the corpses, looking both frightened and interested.

"To think that I wasn't even able to fight in your place," she sighed.

"I prefer that rather than seeing you wounded or dead," Miho breathed. "If you don't feel ready to kill... don't push yourself. I can protect you."

"But I promised myself to do it..."

"Things can't always go your way, Kinuyo... come on, we take what we need and we go."

"Sure."

After collecting canned food, biscuits, dog food and water bottles, they left the convenience store and resumed their walk in the city of Yufu. Miho felt Kinuyo thinking of herself as not good enough. She thought about her own self-esteem. She had already felt that way... and understood perfectly. She thought of distracting her tonight. Maybe not have it off, but she would massage her to relax her muscles. A little physical contact didn't hurt, and she only wanted to comfort her. It tore her inside to see her beloved in such a mood.

On the map, a place caught her attention. A ryokan. The perfect place to be comfortable. Relive the memories of Miyazu. Relax. Miho said nothing to Kinuyo, but made sure to take the road that led to it.  
Only Dogmeat looked at her with an interested look, as if he knew that she had something in the back of her mind. Kinuyo, despite her strong intuition, didn't seem to suspect anything. Everything went as planned. Miho knew that this little gift would please her and relax her a little. It was obvious that after such a fright, after such an event, it was necessary to distract them both, in order not to think of the three people they had to kill... or rather, Miho and the Westerner had to kill.

They entered the building. No need to book: they just took the key to one of the double rooms and went to put their belongings there. Dogmeat preferred to go outside, always curious to go and sniff everything he could.

"Beautiful" murmured Kinuyo. "You brought me here on purpose, didn't you?"

"Okay, I'll admit it, yes," Miho laughed. "After such a shock, you deserved it. And we both needed a calm place."

"Yeah, in addition to such a wonderful setting, you could hardly want to ask for better."

"And also... I have a little something for you," Miho said softly.

She took out the massage oil. The brunette's eyes lit up. She undressed and laid down on one of the two beds. In the evening, they would bring them closer together.

"This is the first time someone massages my back," Kinuyo said. "But I know that smell. When I was little, on some mornings, I could sense it from my parents' room... and I realized over time that this smell and the funny noises I sometimes heard from my room was a steamy night indicator."

Miho couldn't help but laugh. She poured a bit of oil and rubbed her hands together.

"Oh, you and your sketchy revelations! Though sometimes I heard strange things too... but when I asked my parents, they said it was just the TV. Problem is, one day Maho pointed out to me that the TV was never running at that time."

"Or how to mess up in the right way", Kinuyo replied. "They must have realized it at some point, didn't they? Or else they thought you were both stupid..."

Miho started gently massaging her upper back. The smell of the oil got to her nostrils. It felt so good. Her lover's tense shoulders hadn't yet begun to relax, though.

"I think they believed that because we were still small, we wouldn't question what they said... but we knew very well that things were going on. We didn't know what these things were, but you could sense that it was getting... agitated in there."

"Listen, when I asked my parents how babies were made, I thought my mother was going to die because she was trying not to laugh" Kinuyo told with a giggle. "Well, like every child, I learned how they were made..."

She seemed to hesitate a moment, then continued:

"...You're going to think of me as silly, but up to a certain age I almost believed we were plants because of that little seed thing, and I ended up being afraid of getting pregnant everytime I ate sunflower seeds. When we think about it... it's a weird way to picture it. A seed in a human body that would make a baby magically pop up? You've got to be kidding me..."

"I would have liked to see that, little Kinuyo who is learning how human reproduction works and who thinks she's a plant because of Daddy and Mommy's little seeds," Miho chuckled. "Jokes aside, could you please avoid moving too much? I really need to relax you."

Kinuyo gave a little amused sigh and went silent, leaving Miho to her business. The redhead didn't lose a single moment of her precious time... this time spent besides the love of her life, whom she massaged gently, sometimes pressing a little more on the harder spots. Her muscles were slowly starting to decontract. The smell of massage oil was so sweet, in addition.  
She felt, beneath these layers of flesh, her lover's bones. Lovely bones. They were more noticeable than at the beginning of the journey, but not to the point it'd get worrisome. They had both lost weight, anyway, and would probably start to get a little bit of it back once they'd get there. These bones... these delicate bones, hard to the touch like any other, slightly finer than her own. It was amazing how from one human being to another, even the skeleton could differ. These bones... which would be the last remain of her body when she would...

Miho didn't stop massaging, but couldn't get this thought out of her head. She thought of Azumi. Her bones were visible in some places. The putrefied flesh would have disappeared one day, and she would be no more than a skeleton in the middle of an old rice paddy.  
Alice, Tamada... they would never have to endure this horrible cadaveric metamorphosis.  
And Hosomi... was nothing more but remains after being a mutant bear's meal.

Kinuyo was definitely more relaxed after almost half an hour getting massaged. Miho felt it. Her lover's pulse was almost slower than usual. Her whole body was no longer a clenched mass, imprisoned in its own fibers, it was a body that was completely free of these toxins that assaulted it.

Miho took her hand. Kinuyo raised her head slightly and looked at her affectionately. One who gazed at her eyes could feel how much she thanked her. Her mouth was nowhere as expressive as her stare anyway.

"Thank you," she murmured.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Do I ever... I've never been so relaxed in my life."

Miho crouched and kissed her lips lovingly. It was going to be a great evening tonight. They would try to enjoy it as much as possible. Their last nights of road before arriving would be precious...


	50. Chapter 49

**Author's note: It took a while and it's short, but it's here! I didn't have much inspiration for this one, I'm really sorry. However, I have more ideas for Chapter 50 that I just started writing. I hope you're all feeling well. We've been together for more than a year, and the story is soon to be done... what a beautiful thing to think about.~**

 **Enjoy this one!**

* * *

 _"Oh, there's no place like home for the holidays_  
 _'Cause no matter how far away you roam_  
 _When you pine for the sunshine of a friendly gaze_  
 _For the holidays you can't beat home sweet home"_

 _\- Perry Como_

* * *

After this good time spent with massage oil, the couple got up and went outside. Dogmeat, however, stayed in the room, sleeping right next to their luggage. The ryokan's territory was rather large, enough to take a walk. There were several onsen as well. They would be spoiled for choice as to where to take a bath tonight. But as the sky started covering up in grey, cotton clouds, they decided to wash their bodies and take one without further delay. Their bathing session in a hot spring didn't deserve to be ruined by some... rainy shower.

Miho looked at Kinuyo, who was the first to soak herself in the thermal water. She wondered how she could survive such a strong and constant stress. No doubt she was much stronger than she expected herself to be. Even before the apocalypse, she had anxious tendencies. Everything had been amplified after the fall of the three. Miho thought back to her own anxieties. Since her trauma, she had not had much. And even before, she was rather relaxed and pretty balanced. Everything, in the end, had collapsed when she was away from Maho without knowing if she was alive... or not.

Miho sat next to Kinuyo and looked up at the cloudy evening sky. Even without electricity, the water was naturally warm. That was the practical side of it all. No need to go for a boiler or a water heater, since it was already heated. Naturally, in addition. A real joy.

"I remember Miyazu," muttered Miho. "Our idea of making a train work again."

"Truly visionary. Who had thought of it? Was it you or me?"

"No, neither of us, it was Alice. I can't stop thinking it's such a shame... we could have made her idea come true."

"It's such shameful no steam trains have survived, as Chihatan has probably been hit by the Tokyo bomb," Kinuyo sighed. "And another problem, although I have traveled in, I don't know how to run it. I was just reading, sleeping, or just thinking in my compartment, away from the girls, enjoying some peace in my own company."

"Hey, you don't have to know absolutely everything. You are very good as you are. Even if you were totally incapable, you'd be good."

"Yes, but I hate to feel useless or incompetent. I love learning again and again, in addition. And even, if it was you who did everything, it wouldn't be fair."

Miho sighed, not really knowing what to say, but moved closer to Kinuyo to show her that it wasn't anger or nervousness.  
She looked back at the clouds that continued their slow run through the graying sky. It was weird to enjoy an onsen just before a thunderstorm, or just a big shower. The first drops had not yet fallen, but it could happen anytime. If the thunder started to growl, it would be better to go back inside. It would be a pity to be struck down by lightning when they were so close to reaching Maho, and... stark naked in a hot spring.

But Miho suddenly laughed. An old memory about skies crossed her mind.

"For some reason, I remember this... One day, while Maho and I were in the car with our parents while going on holiday, and we saw a sign with an arrow pointing upwards. Silly me started looking at the sky, searching for that location. I seriously thought there was a shop in the clouds.

"I did it too", laughed Kinuyo. "I was staring at the sky in search of a city... all that to finally realize that we were actually entering it. I felt stupid."

"Nevertheless, a city in the clouds, that would be interesting," Miho said. "Another under the sea, perhaps. Two ways to avoid radioactive grounds."

"Except that in both cases, building them would be very dangerous... however I don't think this is impossible. There's likely a way to do this. If you can survive a nuclear war, you can build a city at the bottom of the ocean or make a heavenly city in the clouds."

"Hm, don't focus much on potentiality. There will always be things that will remain impossible. You need to get more practical... for example, building a viable colony on the moon will likely never be put in practice."

Dogmeat's barking drew them out of their conversation. They came out of the bath and went to join him, both wrapped in a towel. He had to feel the storm coming, because by the time they were back to their room, thunder rumbled. They got dressed again.

"Well, he saved us once again!" Kinuyo exclaimed, giving the dog a pat. "Is it me, or are we kind of lucky?"

"Probably," Miho said. "How many times have we avoided the worst..."

"If Houdini hadn't come, I think I was done for," sighed the brunette, falling on the bed. "It wouldn't have been your fault, you couldn't take the crowbar out from the dead man's brain..."

Miho, surprised, almost choked with her saliva.

"Houdini?" she blurted out, almost laughing.

"Well, it fits her, she must be a very good magician to disappear as fast as she comes."

"I must say you're right. It's true that we hardly saw her. Who knows, maybe we'll run into her again later and will be able to thank her!"

Dogmeat climbed on the bed where Kinuyo was laying on her side. Miho removed the table and pushed her bed to make a single big one, then laid down on it, facing her beloved. Dogmeat had his mouth open, looking like he was smiling, and was waving his tail. If he could speak, what would he say? Comment on their actions? Encourage them? Or simply say nothing and watch what was happening?

The dinner was more copious than usual tonight. Miho and Kinuyo had gathered enough supplies, large enough to last until Kumamoto, and even to stock up the Nishizumi mansion a little bit! Maho would be happy. If she ran out of water or food, she would have some again, and a good amount! For once, it wasn't a meager dinner consisting of half a can or a few dry biscuits.  
They were very satisfied. There were, especially, canned fruit, which the two particularly liked. Canned peaches, pineapples, pears, and some cans of mixes. Fruit in Japan was already crushingly expensive before the war, so getting some for free after the apocalypse was almost a blessing.

Drenching rain outside. The sky had darkened and thunder, despite the babel of raindrops falling from the clouds loaded with radioactive water, seemed to have stopped rolling. Cats and dogs, stair rods, all the negative charge accumulated in recent days was pouring on Kyushu. Miho hoped her home would still be watertight. Otherwise, some parts of the tatami would end up ruined. Maybe Maho had already had to repair some leaks...?

Miho spent a long time lying on the bed beside her beloved, listening to her light breath, the violence of the rain outside, the little squeaks of Dogmeat who had fallen asleep, and stared at the ceiling. This beautiful place was always better than a small hut at the bottom in some person's garden. She turned her head towards Kinuyo, who had closed her eyes. She looked so peaceful. It was so rare to see her as quiet.

"Are you sleeping, dreamer?" she gently said, her hand caressing her shoulder.

"No, I'm listening to the rain," the brunette replied, opening her eyes. "I'm having some rest..."

A desire came to Miho's head. She got up from the bed and walked over to the window. If only one of the senses was stimulated, what should be done of the others? Why not feel the smell of the rain, shiver upon contact with the cooled air, see the drops crashing on the ground like small bombs, and feel the strange taste of that water that came from the sky?  
She slowly opened the window. The curtains started dancing with the wind. Her copperish hair joined the ball, drawing arabesques as they tangled, unraveled, raveled and untangled again. Drops met her skin like spray on the seashore, just like the good old times, when the Zuikaku was still at sea, when Oarai was still her second home, and when everything was as before. The sweet scent of the rainy weather stroked her nostrils and she shivered as she felt the fresh air outside. She stretched out her tongue. The water had this taste she had in mind. A taste that had nothing in common with the ordinary tap water or the one found in the bottles. It was... impossible to put words on it.

She heard her lover getting up and coming to her. Kinuyo felt the wind against her face and closed her eyes again, removing one of her senses to leave room for others. Miho watched her immerse herself in the sensations of rain and wind, plunged in some sort of trance, as if her mind came out of her body and let it feel. Was it a way for her to escape from her stress and all the hassles that tormented her? Miho sometimes wondered about it.

Tonight, they slept together quietly, lulled by the sound of the rain. They couldn't have asked for a better end of journey... hoping that the last few days would be just as peaceful.

In the morning, after a nourishing and hearty breakfast, they resumed their journey. This place, this ryokan of Yufu would remain in the memories for sure. A place that was so peaceful, so full of positive energy. They hoped to find a place like that, as it was really relaxing. At one point, they would find themselves at the foot of Mount Aso. There was no real way to bypass it, unless they'd make a huge detour that would only delay their arrival. If the volcano decided to erupt at the wrong time, it would really be a stroke of bad luck. Volcanoes were so unpredictable. Aso wasn't the most hot-blooded, but still had a tendency to get excited. It was also the largest of all Japan. Not as risky as Mount Sakurajima, but still dangerous.

They arrived at Kokonoe. Their shelter, a white house, was situated very close to a small river flowing down below. The atmosphere was quite nice. It was sure that compared to the Mooka hut or a night spent on the sand of a beach, it was better.

Miho put the suitcase on the table. Kinuyo, on her side, took out the porcelain bowl to give Dogmeat some water to drink. He had started to nibble and pull her skirt to let her know he was thirsty.

"Hey, I have a feeling Maho is alive," Miho said. "You know, this feeling you can't brush off, even if you want to. Just like you have often. I wonder if it's my instinct calling me!"

"Things that happened taught me that listening to your instinct is the best thing you can do," Kinuyo replied in an unusually sharp tone, grabbing the half-empty bottle of water. "If you are convinced that Maho is alive, it's because she is. Good for you."

"It's crazy, I've never had such a strong feeling before," Miho continued, excited. "Do you think it's the ghosts who give me this information?"

"I don't know. Maybe you just know that Maho is alright and she's still waiting for you. She'll be glad to see you again, that's the main thing. It's going to be great for sure."

Something wasn't quite right. A small noise caught Miho's attention. She turned her head. Kinuyo was kneeling with the bottle, pouring water into the dog's bowl... and half of it on the parquet. She looked oddly motionless. Dogmeat started to sniff her, sensing something was off.

"You okay?" Miho asked, putting a hand on her lover's back.

"Miho... I-I can't see anything" she moaned, dropping the bottle and pouring a few last drops on the ground.

Miho should have expected it. She seized her girlfriend and raised her head. Kinuyo was shallowly breathing, sweaty to the touch, unusually pale, and her pupils were dilated. Dogmeat barked and tried to lick her face. She seemed to try to keep her eyes open, but fainted after a few seconds.

"I'll help you," Miho whispered, turning to the front door.

She carried her and laid her on her side, facing the outside, hoping that it'd be easier for her to breathe, and that it would help her regain consciousness. Anxious, she put a hand on her side. What could have caused that? A sickness ? No, it wasn't possible, Kinuyo didn't have any fever or other symptoms, apart from her lack of appetite she had lately. Overheating? Lack of sleep? ...Stress?

Miho realized that the cause wasn't entirely physical. She had refrained herself from thinking about it. What if it was the meeting with Maho that stressed her so much?

The few thirty or forty seconds she spent unconscious seemed to last hours. Kinuyo finally moved and turned to Miho, then seemed to look around herself.

"You fainted again", the ginger said. "Are you okay...?"

"It's nothing," the brunette murmured. "I'm fine. It's just that..."

Miho knew why she kept her words. But if she continued to repress them, it would get even worse.

"I know what's going on," she murmured. "And somehow, I know I should have talked to you sooner about this..."

Kinuyo remained silent, keeping her head down.

"You're afraid to meet Maho, aren't you?"

Silence again. Kinuyo looked up, her eyes still looking hesitant.

"I... I'm afraid it's going to be like it ended up with Alice," she confessed. "Your sister, in addition, will expect Alice to show up, not me. She'll think I killed her..."

"No," Miho said. "I don't think it'll be that bad. Maho vaguely knows you, but she knows you. It's not like you are a complete stranger. You have already exchanged words, and she had nothing against you."

"She's going to wonder a lot about this, and I still remember Alice's attitude. They're not really identical, but I still fear that she won't like me."

"The good thing is that you managed to tell me what was going on," murmured Miho, taking her in her arms. "See, it was not that difficult. I worried about you because I knew something was off, but I didn't ask you because I knew you would avoid the topic as much as possible."

"Well... I snapped," Kinuyo whispered. "It's a weight removed from my shoulders, but it took me a lot to talk. I didn't want to annoy you with my whinings. I'd rather keep silent and deal with my issues on my own."

Dogmeat sat down beside them. Miho gave him a little pat. He sniffed her hand, then licked it. Miho giggled. She felt that he wanted to be useful.

"Don't be afraid to tell me how you feel, no matter if it's bad or not. I won't judge you, you know, " she murmured.

Miho felt reassured. Kinuyo would probably not faint anymore, now that she had said what she had repressed for so long. She would be less tense during the last days they'd spend on the road. Before they could see Maho, they had to get rid of all this emotional baggage they had dragged for more than a month. The three deaths they had to get over, the amount of stress, the constant anxiety, everything had to stay behind. They were heading for a new life in the post-apocalyptic Kumamoto.

Still in Miho's arms, Kinuyo whispered:

"Hey, can I tell you something that will not please you?"

The redhead swallowed.

"Go ahead...?"

"I was so afraid of seeing Maho that I was starting to wish her death."

These words punched Miho in the face. She forced herself to think about it. It wasn't a real desire to see her die physically. It was a desire to erase the cause of her fear. Kinuyo didn't really want Maho to die. And even, Miho herself had already had this kind of intrusive thoughts. Nothing practical, only theoretical...

"You're not upset at me, are you?"

"No... no, I understand you thought that," the redhead murmured. "I've... I've had negative thoughts like that too at some point."

"I am angry with myself for thinking that, and it weighed on my conscience. Because I know that if she were to really die, I could never forgive myself. I feel guilty enough already."

"It's okay, it's okay... I'm not upset at you."

Could they really control these thoughts, actually? The memory of that sudden desire for murder came back to her mind. That thought had come to her pretty unexpectedly, it was quite odd. She felt guilty for having had the urge to smother her with the pillow, just as Kinuyo felt guilty for wanting Maho to die.  
Her sister was still alive... Miho knew it. She was alive and waiting for them in Kumamoto. Despite the difficulty of surviving, Maho was alive. She could not be dead. Despite Kinuyo's fearful wish, she was there. It wasn't possible that it happened otherwise... for Miho, this was inconceivable.

Kinuyo moved away slightly and gave her a tender look, then got up and went to the kitchen to see what was for dinner. Miho took advantage of this moment to wipe off the water she had spilled around the dog's bowl. It was a small waste, but whatever. In any case, it wasn't totally lost. The water wouldn't disappear from Earth, it would evaporate with the heat. There was no need to worry about it.

They slept together tonight, as everyday, waiting impatiently for the next day. Another day or two... it was almost over.


	51. Chapter 50

**Author's note: Hello everyone! My loyal ones I knew I'd do it quicker, because I had a big inspiration for this. Now it should go smoothly. Or at least, I hope so. This one came quicker than expected.**

 **Enjoy it!**

* * *

 _"It's the white man's burden_  
 _And it weighs a ton_  
 _I'm a family man_  
 _Model citizen"_  
 _\- Bo Diddley_

* * *

Miho jumped out of bed, unable to stay calm any longer. She wanted to go as far as possible today. Her mood was boosted. Kinuyo got up slower. She was tired, but overall more relaxed.

"Come on, we're almost there", the ginger said. "I just can't believe we're so close!"

Kinuyo smiled, but remained silent. Dogmeat waved his tail. What an emotional sponge he was. He started jumping happily. It was Miho's joy that leaked out. And soon, it would be the joy of knowing Maho that he would feel.

They were soon back on one of the last segments of their journey. The next landmark was Mt. Aso. After passing this stage, they would be in Kumamoto.

Miho, before entering the house they'd use as a shelter, looked at the horizon, and couldn't repress this feeling of admiration mixed with the fear that took her as soon as she got so close to a volcano. She saw it since childhood, the big one which towered above Kumamoto and watched over the surroundings, but still felt tiny when they were staring stonily at each other for sometimes dozens of minutes. Fifteen hundred and ninety-two meters of strength, a mass that was infinitely heavy, and a conical form above Kyushu. Aso the imposing. Aso the terrifying. Aso the chaotic and destructive. But it seemed rather calm these days. Only the plume of smoke that always came out of its caldera reminded that it was still active, ready to react to the smallest disturbance. All the volcanoes had that warm breath that escaped from their top.

The night was restless: Miho could no longer hold her excitement. Kinuyo remained reserved, but had a hard time falling asleep too.

When, the next day, they saw the landscapes of Kumamoto approaching, the ginger felt a breath of hope caressing her face. Kumamoto. Their destination. The end of their journey. The end of their hassle. The end of the ordeal, of hell, and the return to a promised land.

Miho knew exactly where she was going. She accelerated her pace, but to her surprise, Kinuyo and Dogmeat remained behind. The copper-haired girl recognized her street. She wanted to run, but her beloved and the dog were still slow.

"Why won't you hurry up? We're almost there!" Miho shouted.

"Go ahead, we'll join you," Kinuyo replied with a smile. "It's going to be fine, don't worry. Give us time."

Reluctantly, Miho turned around and started running. A sensation of paradise, of freedom. Finally. Finally her home, finally Kumamoto. She was now in her street. A few more meters remaining. An unforgettable joy. She soon reached the gate of the manor, with that small plate, nailed to a wall, on which were inscribed the characters of her name: Nishizumi.

She pricked up her ears. A guitar sound escaped from the house. Maho was there, for sure. It was her. Miho pushed the gate open and knocked at the door. Her heart was thumping inside her whole being. She couldn't wait any longer. The guitar's sound stopped. Silence. The last few seconds were interminable. One millisecond, one microsecond, one nanosecond...

The door slid. Maho. She had grown thin and tired, but she was safe and sound. Her hair had grown slightly, but was tarnished. Her eyes lightened up again as she saw her little sister.

"Miho... oh my God" Maho whispered. "You made it... you are there... you... you're alive..."

Miho jumped into her arms. Tears of joy flowed down both girls' cheeks. She had waited for so long. She had worried for so long. She had traveled for so long, suffered for so long.

"Maho... I missed you so much!", she cried, full of happiness. "I was so worried I'd never see you again!"

At the same time, Kinuyo and Dogmeat came from being. The brunette approached, a little tense, but not as much as she could've been. It was probably not as terrible as she imagined.

As she met Kinuyo's gaze, Maho jumped and reflexively backed off.

"Nishi-san... but... what are you doing here? Wasn't Alice supposed to..."

Miho sighed, feeling the heaviness in herself.

"It's a long story," she murmured. "Some things didn't go as expected."

"Do you mean that..."

Maho didn't have enough time to finish her sentence: Dogmeat jumped on her and started to cover her in licks. She laughed, forgetting her discomfort at the unexpected events.

"Oh, how cute he is," she said. "Have you found him on the way?"

"Yes," replied Kinuyo. "His name is Dogmeat, and we met him at the very beginning of our travel."

"What about our Minna?" asked Miho. "Did she survive?"

"I don't know, I never saw her again, even when I got out of the vault. I guess she had a bad encounter, or the radiation got her..."

Minna was the family dog, a nice Shiba Inu. Maho liked to walk her from time to time. Since her last visit to Kumamoto, Miho didn't have any opportunity to see her, and would probably never have again.

Maho stood up, stroked the dog, and started walking inside.

"Come in. I'm going to make you some tea."

The couple entered. Miho breathed in the smell of her home. Just as good as last time she visited it. Despite an apocalypse, three nuclear bombs and some time without being inhabited, the Nishizumi mansion remained the same. The house in which Miho and Maho had grown up, where Shiho and Tsuneo Nishizumi had conceived them, where they had made their first kid mischiefs together, where they had known their first tank, that Panzer II with the yellow camouflage that was probably still parked in the same place. Kinuyo looked around, intrigued, curious. She had never set a foot there, and it was finally her home too. Dogmeat, on his side, sniffed everywhere. He knew a dog lived here before. He waved his tail and smelled every corner possible.

Maho motioned for them to sit around a small table. Miho and Kinuyo sat next to each other, then silently locked eyes. After such a long journey, some tea wouldn't hurt.

"It's huge here," Kinuyo said. "My home was nothing compared to yours."

"Welcome home sweetheart" Miho murmured with a smile. "I'll show you every room after we're done with our tea time."

"Are you sure Maho isn't mistrusting me, though? She stepped back when she..."

By the time Kinuyo was about to finish her sentence, Maho came back with tea. She put down three cups and filled each of them, hers last, and then sat down with her sister and sister-in-law.

"Why is Alice not here?" she asked. "Weren't supposed to come together?"

She turned her gaze to Kinuyo.

"...Did Nishi-san..."

"No, she did not," Miho replied. "Alice was with us... I met Kinuyo near Utsunomiya. She left her vault with two friends. One of them was killed by a mutant bear and the other was very sick, but sadly didn't make it either. We decided to continue together, and well... that little something between us bloomed."

Miho couldn't help but give her beloved a tender wink. Kinuyo sighed with a slight smile, though still a little tense.

"Alice came shortly after," Miho went on. "We found her when we got close to Toyama, and we went a long way together..."

The lump grew in her throat. She felt the memories coming back, cutting her heart to its whole core. But she had to tell Maho. She couldn't lie to her.

"...but she died in Hamada," she murmured, trying to contain her grief. "We were assaulted by gunners, and we lost her, until we... we found her body in the train station."

Maho was speechless. Her gaze became less firm as she was filled by sadness. She certainly hadn't thought about that possibility.

"Oh I... I don't know what to say, Miho", she whispered. "I'm sorry to hear that. On my side too, there were losses... and I still have trouble getting over them."

"Tell us everything," Kinuyo said.

Maho was overwhelmed by her feelings. The memories were a stab in her heart too.

"While we were in the Vault, we underwent experimentation on radiation effects on the body. Mother was selected to receive the biggest dose and... and over time she became mad, her hair fell out, and she began to slowly transform into some deformed creature that looked like a corpse. But she never got her sanity back. She didn't even know how to talk anymore. They said she had become a feral ghoul. The worst part of all this is that I no longer saw my mother... just a monster locked up in a cell. I didn't even have the strength to go and say goodbye to her before our escape."

Even though Shiho Nishizumi was not the most understanding person, Miho felt incredibly hurt inside. She had lost her mother. The person who brought her into this world. The person who bore her for nine months, then gave birth to her. She had turned into a hideous, abominable creature. A walking corpse, corroded and destroyed by the radiation. Was it worse to lose her, or to see her becoming such a mass of rotten and putrid flesh?

"I escaped with Shimada-san, Koume, and Erika. Ritaiko, Mauko, Geshiko and Sangou chose to come out of the vault later. They were afraid that the level of radioactivity would still be too high. Yet we survived without too much trouble. The real hardships started after a week and half, or two weeks."

"What happened to the others?" Miho asked with a heavy heart.

"One night, Shimada-san woke me up. She was lying curled up and groaning in pain, just like when I had appendicitis, do you remember?"

Miho didn't want to remember that. When she was ten years old, Maho had had appendicitis at school. Miho still remembered the pain her sister felt. She was sent home, but the pain worsened and went so bad she remained completely motionless, prostrated in a fetal position. She went under surgery on time, but still suffered a lot. Hopefully, she wouldn't have it a second time. The ginger preferred to brush off this horrible memory.

"When I touched her," Maho went on, "she was burning with fever... her appendix had burst. With Erika and Koume, we tried to refresh her, to give her something to drink, but she wasn't even able to keep water down. She kept repeating "Alice, my little Alice," and it was the first time I cried in several months, because it made me think of you... She died the following morning, and we buried her urn under the tree next to the small pond."

So that was what killed Chiyo Shimada... Was it the same day Alice had seen her in the window in Yonago?

"What about Erika?" Miho continued.

"One evening, she told me she was feeling a bit unwell and that she would go to bed earlier. In fact, she had been feeling queasy for a while, she had no appetite, and she was generally tired. I thought it was from radiation, little did I know is that she had been raped in the vault. It went silent for unusually long, I could definitely feel something was off and.. and for some reason I can't explain, I knocked on the door of Mother's office..."

Maho had to stop. She wasn't even able to hold back her tears.

"...and I think I will remember all my life... She had hanged herself... and I walked on something when I wanted to free her. A pregnancy test... it was positive..."

Erika was pregnant by a man who raped her. She was the mother of a baby who, if it had been born, would have lived with this terrifying secret. Being a child who had been forcefully and brutally conceived. Erika had snatched her own life to avoid this. Who wanted to live with such a weight? Who wanted to live with the memory of such a trauma, and who wanted to face it everyday? Miho instantly remembered Alice's corpse, with her panties torn off. She could have been pregnant too. Pregnant at twelve or sixteen years old... it was far too young to be a mother.

"Koume remained by my side, and did so much for me... She took care of the body, she comforted me when I broke down in tears, she helped me repairing things, she protected me... and one day, we ran out of food. She went to go get some, and said she would come back within three days. She never came back... and... and I think she's never coming back..."

Even Koume had not made it. Maho could no longer stop the tears that flooded her face. Miho instinctively came and held her in her arms. Kinuyo instantly went teary-eyed too, but hesitated to move. She endedd up coming to put a hand on her shoulder. Dogmeat whined. Maho, for the first time in years, was crying on her little sister's shoulder. The last time it happened, it was after a bad argument with Shiho, when she was in her third year of junior high.

"I'm here, sis... you don't have to worry anymore," Miho gently murmured. "I'm here. We are here."

"I'm so happy to have found you again, you have no idea," Maho said between two sobs. "I... I saw so many horrible things happening..."

"We'll be strong together. You, Kinuyo, and me. We will probably find Ritaiko and the others too. We have to hold on. It won't be long before we can really rebuild something."

Maho took a moment to calm down. The sobs and the jolts of pain took time to fade away. It was all the experience of four months of suffering that flied back in her face like a boomerang. Shiho's transformation into a disgusting ghoul. Chiyo Shimada's death, far from her beloved daughter. The suicide of Erika, who couldn't bear a forced motherhood. The disappearance of Koume, who gave up her body and soul for Maho. Alice's death in horrifying pain and fear. Kinuyo's unexpected arrival, which shook her like an earthquake.

"Well, let's drink our tea before it goes cold", Maho whispered, drying her tears.

Miho came back sitting to Kinuyo, whose eyes were a little red. One could see that she had refrained from shedding a single tear. Things hurt her deeply, but she was so afraid of doing something wrong that she went to the point of restraining herself from showing emotions. Yet it would have been nothing bad or rude to share the suffering of her sister-in-law.

After finishing their cups of tea, Maho went to do the dishes. Miho decided to make her partner look around the property. After all, she was also part of the family now. She had to help her find her way into the huge Nishizumi mansion.

"That's my room," the ginger proudly said, opening her door. "It always feels odd to see it again."

Kinuyo, curious, entered the room. She looked around, looked at the Panzerfaust wrapped in a pink ribbon that leaned on the wall, the Kuromorimine uniform hung on the wall, and the Bokos which were still there.

"Your room is so beautiful," she murmured. "Will we sleep there?"

"My bed is too small, but if you want to put things in my room or take a nap in my bed, you can. It's your new home, you know. You can do whatever you want."

Kinuyo's attention was caught by one of the frames on the desk. It was this picture of little Miho and Maho sitting on the Panzer II, each with a pot of ice cream. She took it in her hands, as if it captivated her whole soul. Her gaze went sad, but didn't seem totally negative. There was something depressing in it, but at the same time amazed and hopeful.

"You're as adorable as you were back then. Maho was so cute too... I wish I had a big brother or a big sister."

"But would it have made you into the person you are now?" Miho replied. 'You are good as you are, even with what you went through. I would not love another Kinuyo, I would only love the one you are."

Kinuyo put back the frame and embraced Miho. She nestled her head in her shoulder. Miho closed her eyes and breathed deeply in her scent. Despite all that had happened, she loved her more than anything. This body, this voice, this spirit, they were the only ones that made her heart beat this way.

They remained like that for a few minutes, taking some time to savor their mutual love. It wouldn't harm them to spend some time alone with each other, especially in such a symbolic place. The room where Miho had spent her entire childhood. She was letting in the love of her life. A page had turned, and she started a new one with her.

"Now, let's show you the other rooms?"

"Yes, let's go."

Miho showed her Maho's room. Off-white wallpaper, dark grey sheets, more sober than her own room, and also a little larger. A dinosaur-shaped lamp sat on her bedside table. Maho loved dinosaurs when she was little. Many books on tankery and various things, a vase of dahlias posed on a tidy desk, and a wardrobe that was still filled with clothes. A funny contrast to Miho's room that was so pink and still childlike.

Then it was the turn of Shiho's office, that deadly dull room where Erika had ended herself. Miho preferred to shorten the stay in this room, not having very good memories in it. Then came the reception room for the guests, the kitchen, the bathroom and the toilet, then the first and only floor, which served as guest and dump rooms. They could turn it into any type of room, they were traditional washitsu. They decided to choose to settle there for the night. It'd be much more private and intimate.

The gardens and the private training grounds. Miho had spent so much time there. The Panzer II of their childhood, as she expected, was still in the same place. No fuel jerrycan had been moved, the tank was probably not out of fuel. It would be a good thing to have a ride later. For now, they were both too tired to consider anything. They might go for a walk tomorrow, but nothing tonight.

Dogmeat came to join them, a stick in his jaws. Kinuyo pet him and took the stick.

"You'll never lose any occasion to have fun, will you?"

She threw it. The dog ran after it. Miho laughed. Finally a pleasant memory to remember. She wanted to go and fetch the Polaroid to immortalize this instant of doggy fun, but laziness urged her to stay there, just watching. This moment would be written in her memory. Photographed in her mind.

He came back. Kinuyo threw the stick again. They were soon joined by Maho, who, although remaining silent, sat down close to her sister. She held the guitar in her hand. The one she had got as a gift for her fourteenth birthday.

"Are you going to play?" Miho asked.

"I feel like it", her elder muttered. "A bit of music won't hurt. I often played guitar, and when Koume and Erika were there, we sometimes sang together. We found tablatures and lyrics, and we just enjoyed the moment."

Maho gently stroke the strings of her guitar. Miho noticed how she had improved since the last time she played in front of her. With a daily practice, she mastered the chords and melodies rather well. Kinuyo recognized the melody. It was the Lullaby of Takeda, a traditional song. A song about a poor girl from Kansai who had been forced to work for a rich family away from her home, taking care of a baby all day, and who remembered her family every time she saw the mountain that separated her from her village and life. She was becoming thinner and thinner from working incessantly, complaining about the cries and tears of the child she wanted to silence. Even the O-Bon matsuri could no longer make her happy. She hated her life so much. Kinuyo was particularly fond of this song, and had worn the tape out from listening to it over and over as a child. Without realizing it, she gently hummed the lyrics. Maho looked at her and had a slight smile, although she was still reserved. It would take her a little time to be warmer, probably...

As the evening was falling on Kumamoto, Miho and Kinuyo emptied the bag of its supplied. Maho was impressed.

"Well, you've got quite a nice amount of it. It was dangerous, but it was worth it. It's good, I was starting to need to replenish the stocks. You really came at the right time."

Maho checked everything.

"Canned peaches... canned pineapples... fruit salad... noodles, rice... canned fish and meat... pork and beans... macaroni and cheese? Mashed potatoes... curry... three cake powders... dog food... We'll last a while with this. We have a good amount of water here. I was making mine boil, because we quickly ran out of bottles."

"We've never had such big stocks of food", Miho noticed. "We took everything we could."

"You're saving my life," replied Maho. "Let's make curry tonight, and it should be fine."

"You and your curry," her sister laughed. "It's like Kinuyo and her sukiyaki, or me and my macarons. The perfect union."

"It's very true. Well, I'm going to cook this. It will take a little time."

Maho stood up and walked away to the kitchen. Dogmeat, of course, followed her. He never missed an opportunity to activate his sense of smell and taste. She gave him a pat on the head, then started preparing dinner.

The smell eventually ended up attractng Kinuyo, who knocked on the kitchen door.

"May I come in?"

"Sure."

Kinuyo pushed the door and watched her sister-in-law doing the cooking. Silent, she stood behind her. Maho, however, seemed to feel uneasy: she kept casting glances at her, as if she feared that she would stab her in the back. Kinuyo, feeling that something was wrong, moved to the side; Maho looked a little more relaxed, and looked at her.

'How long will it take, roughly?"

"Half an hour remaining, maybe", Maho replied. "Are you hungry?"

"Yes, I'm starting to. It looks pretty good, besides. Miho told me you were crazy about curry."

"I love it," she said. "Since I'm little, I adore it above every other dish. It has always comforted me... and there was no better opportunity than making some tonight."

She was silent for some time, then resumed:

"By the way, when Miho goes to bed, I want to have a talk with you. It's important."

Kinuyo suddenly felt afraid. Why this? Was it a way to tell her that she would be rejected? One way to ask her to leave? Or worse, did she refuse to accept her relationship with Miho?

"Why? Have I done anything wrong, or something? What happens?"

"Don't worry, you've done nothing wrong. But I have to talk to you. It's something I really want you to know. And I don't want Miho to hear of it."


End file.
